Thursday, 23 March 2017

When going to a party can be a real chore

I remember being with my first girlfriend. We had only been going out for a few weeks and we went to one of her friend's parties. I was told that her ex-boyfriend was there. For some reason this was not a good thing for me and I did not want to enter the house. I felt intimidated for some reason.

I know now that I wasn't intimidated by him (who I never met) but I was intimidated by the party.

Because I liked my girlfriend I had agreed to go along with her. At the time I had thought that the reason I didn't want to go into the house was because of the ex-boyfriend. I now know that that wasn't the case at all. No siree. Little, introverted old me just didn't want to join the party and that was the excuse. I'm not proud of it but that was the reason. (RMS nee D, if you are reading this, I am sorry.)

We were together for a couple of years and I remember another occasion that I went to my girlfriend's friend's wedding. It was on the Saturday and we went to the area where it was been held on the Friday afternoon.

They had a gathering on the Friday night which I decided to miss. I went by myself to watch a cricket game. To this day, I still think it is the most exciting game that I have ever attended.

Even then in February 1997 I knew that it was better to be by myself than in a big group. I knew that I was attending the wedding the following day so I knew that I needed my time alone. The cricket was just an excuse to get out of there.

Once you understand all of this stuff, I believe that your life will become a lot easier. You won't feel guilty about going to things by yourself or saying no to an event. You won't feel so bad about staying in on a Saturday night. That is 100% fine. You are being true to yourself. That is all you can ask of yourself.

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