Today will be the last day that I will write this blog. I was considering continuing until the end of the month to make it a round 700 number of posts but at the end of the day it is just a number so it doesn't really make any sense.
I would like to thank all of the readers who have taken time to read one of my posts or many of them. It is really nice to see a large number of you and that motivated me to continue with my writing.
I know that some of my opinions are a little controversial and maybe some of you haven't liked what I have written but that is the great thing about the Internet. You can share opinions and you are going to get the odd idiot but basically you can get a good dialogue going with different perspectives from all over the world.
I would encourage anyone to start a blog. You will find something to write about the more you do it.
From now, I will be concentrating on my two new projects. I have a new blog called The Opposite. You can check it out below:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Also I have my other new project with the situational extrovert. I will be blogging there too.
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
I look forward to seeing you all there.
Thank you again and I hope that our futures are as good as we can make them to be.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Tuesday 19 June 2018
Monday 18 June 2018
MORE CONFIDENCE
How do you become more confident? This question has been on the mind of many people over the years. There are some things you can do. Lets have a look:
1. Focus on you. Focus on improving YOUrself. Don't compare yourself to others. If you start comparing yourself with the rich guy, with the nice car and supermodel wife, you are just going to make yourself more and more depressed. Focus on what you can change. Focus on you and good things will come.
2. I've noticed about people from the two countries I have an affinity with, New Zealand and Japan that both people like to say sorry a lot, I mean more than is normal. I know that there are reasons for that but rather than saying sorry, why don't you say thank you or some other kind of gratitude phrase. Why do you say sorry a lot? Is it because you don't want someone to be angry with you? Use the word sorry sparingly. I know I have done more and more over the years and I feel a lot better for it.
3. This is for you introverts out there, if you don't want to go out. If you don't want to socialise on that particular night, repeat after me "NO". OK? Say it again. "NO."
4. My mother used to tell me off for slouching. I must admit that I still catch myself doing it from time to time. I find when I really concentrating on looking straight ahead with my shoulders back, I do feel more confident and that confidence seems to flow out of me and people notice it.
5. I've just come back from the gym. I feel good. I feel energetic. I feel confident. Enough said.
6. There is an old saying that if someone hasn't got a smile on their face, give them one of yours. I must admit I'm not very good at this but when I do and they smile back, you do feel more confident. Also remember that if you smile and they don't smile back, that is a reflection on them, not you.
7. I've just created a laminated list of what I should be doing on a daily basis. I must admit that the more ticks I mark on the sheet the better I feel. The more I do, the more I can do the next day and the next day and before I know it, things start to happen and you are in a totally different space.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
1. Focus on you. Focus on improving YOUrself. Don't compare yourself to others. If you start comparing yourself with the rich guy, with the nice car and supermodel wife, you are just going to make yourself more and more depressed. Focus on what you can change. Focus on you and good things will come.
2. I've noticed about people from the two countries I have an affinity with, New Zealand and Japan that both people like to say sorry a lot, I mean more than is normal. I know that there are reasons for that but rather than saying sorry, why don't you say thank you or some other kind of gratitude phrase. Why do you say sorry a lot? Is it because you don't want someone to be angry with you? Use the word sorry sparingly. I know I have done more and more over the years and I feel a lot better for it.
3. This is for you introverts out there, if you don't want to go out. If you don't want to socialise on that particular night, repeat after me "NO". OK? Say it again. "NO."
4. My mother used to tell me off for slouching. I must admit that I still catch myself doing it from time to time. I find when I really concentrating on looking straight ahead with my shoulders back, I do feel more confident and that confidence seems to flow out of me and people notice it.
5. I've just come back from the gym. I feel good. I feel energetic. I feel confident. Enough said.
6. There is an old saying that if someone hasn't got a smile on their face, give them one of yours. I must admit I'm not very good at this but when I do and they smile back, you do feel more confident. Also remember that if you smile and they don't smile back, that is a reflection on them, not you.
7. I've just created a laminated list of what I should be doing on a daily basis. I must admit that the more ticks I mark on the sheet the better I feel. The more I do, the more I can do the next day and the next day and before I know it, things start to happen and you are in a totally different space.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Sunday 17 June 2018
Get out of the house - Football
Are you are football fan? Will you watching some of the FIFA World Cup of the coming weeks? Or couldn't you give two hoots about it?
Can I suggest to the introverts out there that for at least one game, you get out of the house and watch it with a large group of people.
Yesterday, I went to my local sports bar and watched the Australia v France match. It was such a great atmosphere. I thought that the bar was about 90% French with about 8% Australians.
Both sides sung the national anthem and it was awesome. At the end of the game, I was exhausted with all the visual stimulation going on but it was well worth it.
I'm not a big football fan but the atmosphere and everything else going on made it a lot easier to watch and of course you can have a bit of banter with fans of the differing sides.
Get out of the house during the World Cup, you might enjoy yourself.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Can I suggest to the introverts out there that for at least one game, you get out of the house and watch it with a large group of people.
Yesterday, I went to my local sports bar and watched the Australia v France match. It was such a great atmosphere. I thought that the bar was about 90% French with about 8% Australians.
Both sides sung the national anthem and it was awesome. At the end of the game, I was exhausted with all the visual stimulation going on but it was well worth it.
I'm not a big football fan but the atmosphere and everything else going on made it a lot easier to watch and of course you can have a bit of banter with fans of the differing sides.
Get out of the house during the World Cup, you might enjoy yourself.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Saturday 16 June 2018
DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!!
A quick post today because I forgot to bring the adapter for my computer and it is at 12% now and I want to post something today.
Oh well. "That will learn you" as someone used to say to me a lot.
It's the weekend and I'm sure you have heard me talk about this ad nauseam. (It's 8% now)
Do what you want, not what you think you should do or what others pressure you into.
Just because it is beautiful outside, doesn't mean that you have to go outside.
Just because it is the weekend, it doesn't mean you have to drink alcohol (I'm going that today though, because I want to.)
DO WHAT YOU WANT
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Oh well. "That will learn you" as someone used to say to me a lot.
It's the weekend and I'm sure you have heard me talk about this ad nauseam. (It's 8% now)
Do what you want, not what you think you should do or what others pressure you into.
Just because it is beautiful outside, doesn't mean that you have to go outside.
Just because it is the weekend, it doesn't mean you have to drink alcohol (I'm going that today though, because I want to.)
DO WHAT YOU WANT
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Thursday 14 June 2018
3 PROBLEMS THAT ALL INTROVERTS HAVE
We all have problems, don't we? Even the people that look like they have their lives together and look like they have everything, also have problems. It's what being a human being is all about, and guess what, if you don't have problems then I would question how you are living your life and whether or not you venture out of the house at all.
Anyway, lets move on to the biggest problems that all introverts have:
1. Wanting to be invited, but not wanting to go anywhere
Of the three problems written here, I can relate to this one the most. Sometimes, you do want to be recognised. Sometimes, you do want that invitation to a night out with the boys or the girls. Sometimes, you do want to have a night out at the bar talking about sports, making money and picking up chicks. However, there are occasions that even though you want these things, you just don't have the energy and going out and talking to a whole bunch of people that you don't know is the worst thing and would just drain you of so much energy.
2. Being lonely at home, but not wanting anyone in your space unless you really like them
Yep, this is another one I can surely relate to. It was very rare and still is to let anyone come to home. I have very rarely had parties at my home and if I ever did, it was only very few. Compare that to my brother who had a big party for his 21st birthday. Sure, I will have close friends or a girlfriend around but not hundreds. Definitely not.
3. And even if you really like them, you want them to go home soon
Friends yes, Girlfriend, No way Jose. I making breakfast for her the next morning.
I found this at the following URL:
https://www.pinterest.jp/pin/251427591678011267/
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Anyway, lets move on to the biggest problems that all introverts have:
1. Wanting to be invited, but not wanting to go anywhere
Of the three problems written here, I can relate to this one the most. Sometimes, you do want to be recognised. Sometimes, you do want that invitation to a night out with the boys or the girls. Sometimes, you do want to have a night out at the bar talking about sports, making money and picking up chicks. However, there are occasions that even though you want these things, you just don't have the energy and going out and talking to a whole bunch of people that you don't know is the worst thing and would just drain you of so much energy.
2. Being lonely at home, but not wanting anyone in your space unless you really like them
Yep, this is another one I can surely relate to. It was very rare and still is to let anyone come to home. I have very rarely had parties at my home and if I ever did, it was only very few. Compare that to my brother who had a big party for his 21st birthday. Sure, I will have close friends or a girlfriend around but not hundreds. Definitely not.
3. And even if you really like them, you want them to go home soon
Friends yes, Girlfriend, No way Jose. I making breakfast for her the next morning.
I found this at the following URL:
https://www.pinterest.jp/pin/251427591678011267/
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Wednesday 13 June 2018
Social Recluse
This article is one of the most interesting I have read. It is about the hikikomori people in Japan. Predominately men, it shows a sad side of society who I believe has failed these people. Basically the hikikomori guys have given a big middle finger to society and have said in their actions that if you don't want what I have to offer, then you can go and get stuffed.
Lets have a look at some of the things written in the article:
1. "According to him, he is a great man and could do extraordinary things, but he does not aways try his best."
OK, if he doesn't try his best then that is 100% his problem but I wonder if he wanted, when he was younger to do things that his parents and immediate peers didn't approve of. I wonder if they tried to force him to change those things. I hope not but it could well be the case.
2. "In Japan, there are always two sides that oppose one another. It is both modern and traditional, bustling and very lonely."
This isn't really connected to hikikomori but it is actually really interesting. My friend has actually mentioned it a few times when he says "Japan is a perfect mix of 1950's and 2050's." He is not far off the mark.
Tokyo can also be a very lonely place. You would think that in a "town" of 15 million people that it would be impossible to get lonely but the opposite is the case. It can be very lonely. You live by yourself. You have few friends. You don't have many hobbies. Maybe you are a little shy. Do you understand what I am saying?
3. "Riki always tries to be outstanding, but has a fear of making mistakes."
Unfortunately, this is a problem in many societies. People are ridiculed for having a go and if they fail they are made fun of, ostracised. It takes a certain type of person to overcome that and it would be easy to go into that state of well if I am going to be made fun of I'm not going to do anything. How do you fix this? I don't know. That's a tough one.
4. "In Japan, where uniformity is still prized, and reputations and outward appearances are paramount, rebellion comes in muted forms, like hikikomori."
Yep, that sums it up. Parents, families want their sons to go to a good university, get a job in a prestigious company or take over their hanko (seal) shop when in fact that son wants to become a dancer or at least try to be. You have a clash right there between the perceived duty and the individualism of the man. So they say "stuff it" I'm going into my room.
5. "The longer the hikikomori remain apart from society, the more aware they become of their social failure."
I couldn't agree with this less. I'm sorry, society has failed them, not the other way around. This is the clash between the 1950's attitude and the 2018 attitude. Encourage them to do something different. Encourage them to fail. It's ok.
6. "Chujo, 24, has been a hikikomori for two years. He has dreams of becoming an opera singer, but as he is the eldest son, his family wants him to join the family business."
See what I mean? That's exactly what I wrote in number 4. He wants to become an opera singer and good luck to him I say but no he is caught between the duty of the family and his own dreams and aspirations so he locks himself up. Nobody is winning here. Everybody is losing.
Unfortunately this problem is not going to go away quickly and with more and more individualistic attitudes spreading, the clash between 1950's and 2018 will continue.
The "sisters" alluded to in this article are great but it is just a band aid. You have to fix the root of the problem and that will take generations.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Lets have a look at some of the things written in the article:
1. "According to him, he is a great man and could do extraordinary things, but he does not aways try his best."
OK, if he doesn't try his best then that is 100% his problem but I wonder if he wanted, when he was younger to do things that his parents and immediate peers didn't approve of. I wonder if they tried to force him to change those things. I hope not but it could well be the case.
2. "In Japan, there are always two sides that oppose one another. It is both modern and traditional, bustling and very lonely."
This isn't really connected to hikikomori but it is actually really interesting. My friend has actually mentioned it a few times when he says "Japan is a perfect mix of 1950's and 2050's." He is not far off the mark.
Tokyo can also be a very lonely place. You would think that in a "town" of 15 million people that it would be impossible to get lonely but the opposite is the case. It can be very lonely. You live by yourself. You have few friends. You don't have many hobbies. Maybe you are a little shy. Do you understand what I am saying?
3. "Riki always tries to be outstanding, but has a fear of making mistakes."
Unfortunately, this is a problem in many societies. People are ridiculed for having a go and if they fail they are made fun of, ostracised. It takes a certain type of person to overcome that and it would be easy to go into that state of well if I am going to be made fun of I'm not going to do anything. How do you fix this? I don't know. That's a tough one.
4. "In Japan, where uniformity is still prized, and reputations and outward appearances are paramount, rebellion comes in muted forms, like hikikomori."
Yep, that sums it up. Parents, families want their sons to go to a good university, get a job in a prestigious company or take over their hanko (seal) shop when in fact that son wants to become a dancer or at least try to be. You have a clash right there between the perceived duty and the individualism of the man. So they say "stuff it" I'm going into my room.
5. "The longer the hikikomori remain apart from society, the more aware they become of their social failure."
I couldn't agree with this less. I'm sorry, society has failed them, not the other way around. This is the clash between the 1950's attitude and the 2018 attitude. Encourage them to do something different. Encourage them to fail. It's ok.
6. "Chujo, 24, has been a hikikomori for two years. He has dreams of becoming an opera singer, but as he is the eldest son, his family wants him to join the family business."
See what I mean? That's exactly what I wrote in number 4. He wants to become an opera singer and good luck to him I say but no he is caught between the duty of the family and his own dreams and aspirations so he locks himself up. Nobody is winning here. Everybody is losing.
Unfortunately this problem is not going to go away quickly and with more and more individualistic attitudes spreading, the clash between 1950's and 2018 will continue.
The "sisters" alluded to in this article are great but it is just a band aid. You have to fix the root of the problem and that will take generations.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Tuesday 12 June 2018
Two "interesting" men (post-script)
Last year I wrote the following post:
https://dailyrbl.blogspot.com/2017/08/an-open-letter-to-two-interesting.html
Today it seems that those two who ten months ago were going to bomb the shit out of each other are now in talks to stop all of that and it is great to see.
The world needs nuclear weapons like it needs a hole in the head and while I am on that subject, don't get me started on nuclear power.
Countries need to follow the New Zealand way, no nukes. By the way that is an unconditional law in New Zealand and it doesn't matter what side of the political spectrum is in power, it is going take some balls for a ruling party to revoke that one.
Anyway, everything looks hunky-dory. For how long? Time will tell I suppose.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
https://dailyrbl.blogspot.com/2017/08/an-open-letter-to-two-interesting.html
Today it seems that those two who ten months ago were going to bomb the shit out of each other are now in talks to stop all of that and it is great to see.
The world needs nuclear weapons like it needs a hole in the head and while I am on that subject, don't get me started on nuclear power.
Countries need to follow the New Zealand way, no nukes. By the way that is an unconditional law in New Zealand and it doesn't matter what side of the political spectrum is in power, it is going take some balls for a ruling party to revoke that one.
Anyway, everything looks hunky-dory. For how long? Time will tell I suppose.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Sunday 10 June 2018
What can Professor Nash and Doctor Cooper teach us?
Have you even seen the movie A Beautiful Mind?
A Beautiful Mind is a movie about the life of John Nash, a mathematician. The movie won four Academy Awards and just showed the acting prowess of Russell Crowe who also did Gladiator around the same time in which he got the Oscar for Best Actor.
Some of my favourite scenes in the A Beautiful Mind movie are the real cringeworthy moments where Russell Crowe's character does not really play along with social convention like telling a beautiful woman at the bar that they should skip the small talk and the drink buying and just get to the "fluid exchange." If only it was that easy Professor Nash.
Russell Crowe's character in this movie reminds me of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. Unfortunately, there are things in society that you don't say and both of these characters say them and they can be cringy as well as funny, especially in Sheldon Cooper's situation.
What do you do when you meet these kind of people because you are bound to run into one or two of them over the course of a year or two?
1. Acknowledge that they are not clued up to society's expectations (whatever that means.)
2. You have to take what they say with a grain of salt. Laugh it off. See it as been quite entertaining.
3. Don't get offended. They will not realise that they are offensive to most people. Think of it like water off a duck's back.
At the end of the day, I am sure that we have all said things that we later thought was probably not the best thing to say. I know I have.... many times. You have just got to laugh it off. Chalk it up to one of life's experiences and move on. Don't dwell on it like I have in the past.
A Beautiful Mind is a movie about the life of John Nash, a mathematician. The movie won four Academy Awards and just showed the acting prowess of Russell Crowe who also did Gladiator around the same time in which he got the Oscar for Best Actor.
Some of my favourite scenes in the A Beautiful Mind movie are the real cringeworthy moments where Russell Crowe's character does not really play along with social convention like telling a beautiful woman at the bar that they should skip the small talk and the drink buying and just get to the "fluid exchange." If only it was that easy Professor Nash.
Russell Crowe's character in this movie reminds me of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. Unfortunately, there are things in society that you don't say and both of these characters say them and they can be cringy as well as funny, especially in Sheldon Cooper's situation.
What do you do when you meet these kind of people because you are bound to run into one or two of them over the course of a year or two?
1. Acknowledge that they are not clued up to society's expectations (whatever that means.)
2. You have to take what they say with a grain of salt. Laugh it off. See it as been quite entertaining.
3. Don't get offended. They will not realise that they are offensive to most people. Think of it like water off a duck's back.
At the end of the day, I am sure that we have all said things that we later thought was probably not the best thing to say. I know I have.... many times. You have just got to laugh it off. Chalk it up to one of life's experiences and move on. Don't dwell on it like I have in the past.
Saturday 9 June 2018
It's the WEEKEND ... FINALLY!!!
It's the weekend!
For some of you, you are thinking "WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't have to slave for a boss who doesn't appreciate me for 64 hours."
Remember also that you don't have to be forced into anything that you don't want to do. Just because it is the weekend, it doesn't mean that you have to go out to all hours of the morning, drinking, dancing, flirting or whatever. Of course if that is your thing then go for it. You will have a great time.
But, Introverts, I'm talking to you. Don't be forced to go to the party if you don't want to. You know as well as I do that you will turn up at work on Monday feeling unenergised and the week will be a slog. A long, uncomfortable slog which is not doing anybody, any good at all.
Go and sit in the park and have a read. Go to that restaurant that you have always wanted to go to with your significant other. Fire up the Netflix or Hulu or whatever you use.
The weekends are for you and not what other people dictate to you.
Have a good one everyone.
Friday 8 June 2018
PEOPLE WHO LUNCH .... OR DON'T
Why is it that as soon as the clock strikes 12pm, people file out of their offices to get lunch? Who made this rule that lunch time should be 12? I think it sucks personally. But most people walk around like zombies not questioning what I have just questioned and just go to the local restaurant or store to get something to eat whether they are hungry or not.
Why?
Just because that is how it is always been and who am I to question it?
Well, guess what? You are a person and I am guessing that since you are reading this you have probably got some brains, you have probably got some intelligence, so why don't you question this lunch hour thing?
I was reading an article yesterday in which it was questioning the whole 9 to 5 thing. I think we have come to a stage in our development in that we can work out when a person can work to the best of their abilities and it is not necessarily 9 to 5. It could be 7am to 1pm, then their productivity could fall right off and a warm body is sitting in the office but it is not doing anything.
It is time we wake up and question these generic times and generic working hours. What do you think?
Anyway, lets get back to the lunchtime thing. I'm sure that a lot of you are not hungry at 12. So what can you do at 12 that doesn't necessarily involve eating and could be better for you overall, health wise?
1. Go for a walk.
If you are stuck behind a desk all day, that walk could do you a lot of good. You don't have to breath the air conditioned air. You get some fresh air and some sun and hey, you could even get a tan if you are that way inclined. This walk will leave you energised for the rest of the day.
2. Go to the gym
I know some guys at the gym I go to spend their lunchtimes working out. They tell me that they don't really eat lunch or if they do they scoff it down at their desks after their exercise. They have quite high-pressured jobs so they tell me that the gym session breaks up their day quite well and gives them some energy for the afternoon.
3. Read
If walking or working out is not your thing then you could go outside and hopefully there is a park nearby and do some reading. Of course you could do this at your desk but remember we want you away from that environment for a short time.
4. Run errands
During your working hours you might not have enough time to go to the post office or the bank or even a dentist appointment. Use this time for that. Just getting out from behind that desk and walking (please tell me you will walk the five minutes to the bank, not take the car) will help you with the energy in the afternoon.
5. Device shutdown
Heaven forbid!!!! Did I just write that? Yes I did. I know from personal experience that it would be difficult to do, but imagine going the whole lunch hour without looking at your phone. I mean you probably sit in front of a computer all day so why sit in front of a phone all lunch time?
6. Thinking time
Lunch time in the park is another great time to do some thinking. Maybe about your job or that little side business you are trying to put together or even other things in your private life. It is amazing what you can come up with by just sitting in solitude for thirty minutes or so.
There you go. You don't have to trudge off to the local restaurant because all of your other colleagues are going to. You have other things to do with your time.
Have you noticed that a few of these suggestions are good for introverts?
I wonder why that is.
Why?
Just because that is how it is always been and who am I to question it?
Well, guess what? You are a person and I am guessing that since you are reading this you have probably got some brains, you have probably got some intelligence, so why don't you question this lunch hour thing?
I was reading an article yesterday in which it was questioning the whole 9 to 5 thing. I think we have come to a stage in our development in that we can work out when a person can work to the best of their abilities and it is not necessarily 9 to 5. It could be 7am to 1pm, then their productivity could fall right off and a warm body is sitting in the office but it is not doing anything.
It is time we wake up and question these generic times and generic working hours. What do you think?
Anyway, lets get back to the lunchtime thing. I'm sure that a lot of you are not hungry at 12. So what can you do at 12 that doesn't necessarily involve eating and could be better for you overall, health wise?
1. Go for a walk.
If you are stuck behind a desk all day, that walk could do you a lot of good. You don't have to breath the air conditioned air. You get some fresh air and some sun and hey, you could even get a tan if you are that way inclined. This walk will leave you energised for the rest of the day.
2. Go to the gym
I know some guys at the gym I go to spend their lunchtimes working out. They tell me that they don't really eat lunch or if they do they scoff it down at their desks after their exercise. They have quite high-pressured jobs so they tell me that the gym session breaks up their day quite well and gives them some energy for the afternoon.
3. Read
If walking or working out is not your thing then you could go outside and hopefully there is a park nearby and do some reading. Of course you could do this at your desk but remember we want you away from that environment for a short time.
4. Run errands
During your working hours you might not have enough time to go to the post office or the bank or even a dentist appointment. Use this time for that. Just getting out from behind that desk and walking (please tell me you will walk the five minutes to the bank, not take the car) will help you with the energy in the afternoon.
5. Device shutdown
Heaven forbid!!!! Did I just write that? Yes I did. I know from personal experience that it would be difficult to do, but imagine going the whole lunch hour without looking at your phone. I mean you probably sit in front of a computer all day so why sit in front of a phone all lunch time?
6. Thinking time
Lunch time in the park is another great time to do some thinking. Maybe about your job or that little side business you are trying to put together or even other things in your private life. It is amazing what you can come up with by just sitting in solitude for thirty minutes or so.
There you go. You don't have to trudge off to the local restaurant because all of your other colleagues are going to. You have other things to do with your time.
Have you noticed that a few of these suggestions are good for introverts?
I wonder why that is.
Thursday 7 June 2018
HOW WE SHOW OUR LOVE
Hello Ladies.
Today's post is for you. I know I have written for men a few times in the past, however, today is for you and I hope that you get something out of it.
It wouldn't shock you to hear that men and women are different. (WOW! What are profound statement Blair.)
Seriously, I think that some people need to hear this on occasions because we do forget it.
So, ladies, how do you know that he really loves you?
Well, I suggest looking for these things. (By the way, don't just feel it. You will get yourself into a lot of trouble and regret if you do that.)
1. He will listen his ears off
I must admit that I am not the best listener even though they say that introverts are good listeners but when I am really into someone, I will 100% listen to you. And don't worry, I'm not going to solve your problems because we know that you don't want that. Although in saying that I have asked this question before, "Do you want me to listen as a man or a woman?" That confused her for a few second until I said that I can solve her problem or just listen. On second thoughts, I wouldn't suggest asking that too much.
2. He will compromise
Now, I know that some women lose attraction for a man if he stops doing things that he really loves to do but that suggests that you weren't very into him in the fist place and you were just stringing him along which I say "shame on you." If a man really loves you, he will compromise on a few things because he knows that they are important to you. I've seen men move to live with women in their hometowns. Now that is a big compromise. Do you think that he would do that if he was only 50% into you.
3. He will contact you regularly
Now I know that 50 texts a day is not good for anyone but a guy will check in from time to time just to see how you are. He will check in because he likes to feel you as you like to feel him as you like to feel his love.
4. You are family
A guy who is really into you will make you part of his family. He will invite you to family gatherings like birthdays, BBQs and Christmas. Hopefully, he has a loving enough family that because he loves you then there is no judgement on his family's part because they love him unconditionally and they will accept you unconditionally as well. If he invites you home for Christmas, take it. That is a big deal for you and him.
5. Presents have a reason
If someone really loves you they would have put in a lot of thought into gifts that they have got you. They might have even made it themselves. If they have, that shows real love. In Japan, the whole Valentine's Day tradition is that the woman gives chocolate to the man. So if you get store bought chocolate, then look for someone else. If she has taken the time to make something, then you are a lucky man. It is the same with men. If the thought is there, does it have to be an expensive gift?
6. You will have all the support that you can handle
If a guy really loves you, he will help you. He will do anything for you. If you take this for granted, then you are nothing but a user and you do not deserve him at all.
7. A man loves to make you laugh
There is nothing better for a man than to see his woman smiling and laughing. There is nothing better than to see his woman happy and full of life. Your man might play the fool sometimes but rest assured he is doing it for your entertainment and your wellness.
8. You are his priority
When it is all said and done, if a man really loves you he will make you his priority over any other person. Of course he will go out with some of his mates from time to time and you should let him because he will resent you if you don't let him, just like he should let you have the girl's night out too on occasions.
Today's post is for you. I know I have written for men a few times in the past, however, today is for you and I hope that you get something out of it.
It wouldn't shock you to hear that men and women are different. (WOW! What are profound statement Blair.)
Seriously, I think that some people need to hear this on occasions because we do forget it.
So, ladies, how do you know that he really loves you?
Well, I suggest looking for these things. (By the way, don't just feel it. You will get yourself into a lot of trouble and regret if you do that.)
1. He will listen his ears off
I must admit that I am not the best listener even though they say that introverts are good listeners but when I am really into someone, I will 100% listen to you. And don't worry, I'm not going to solve your problems because we know that you don't want that. Although in saying that I have asked this question before, "Do you want me to listen as a man or a woman?" That confused her for a few second until I said that I can solve her problem or just listen. On second thoughts, I wouldn't suggest asking that too much.
2. He will compromise
Now, I know that some women lose attraction for a man if he stops doing things that he really loves to do but that suggests that you weren't very into him in the fist place and you were just stringing him along which I say "shame on you." If a man really loves you, he will compromise on a few things because he knows that they are important to you. I've seen men move to live with women in their hometowns. Now that is a big compromise. Do you think that he would do that if he was only 50% into you.
3. He will contact you regularly
Now I know that 50 texts a day is not good for anyone but a guy will check in from time to time just to see how you are. He will check in because he likes to feel you as you like to feel him as you like to feel his love.
4. You are family
A guy who is really into you will make you part of his family. He will invite you to family gatherings like birthdays, BBQs and Christmas. Hopefully, he has a loving enough family that because he loves you then there is no judgement on his family's part because they love him unconditionally and they will accept you unconditionally as well. If he invites you home for Christmas, take it. That is a big deal for you and him.
5. Presents have a reason
If someone really loves you they would have put in a lot of thought into gifts that they have got you. They might have even made it themselves. If they have, that shows real love. In Japan, the whole Valentine's Day tradition is that the woman gives chocolate to the man. So if you get store bought chocolate, then look for someone else. If she has taken the time to make something, then you are a lucky man. It is the same with men. If the thought is there, does it have to be an expensive gift?
6. You will have all the support that you can handle
If a guy really loves you, he will help you. He will do anything for you. If you take this for granted, then you are nothing but a user and you do not deserve him at all.
7. A man loves to make you laugh
There is nothing better for a man than to see his woman smiling and laughing. There is nothing better than to see his woman happy and full of life. Your man might play the fool sometimes but rest assured he is doing it for your entertainment and your wellness.
8. You are his priority
When it is all said and done, if a man really loves you he will make you his priority over any other person. Of course he will go out with some of his mates from time to time and you should let him because he will resent you if you don't let him, just like he should let you have the girl's night out too on occasions.
Wednesday 6 June 2018
IS HONESTY ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY?
Today, I have a question, so today this post is going to be short and sweet.
This is a problem that I'm sure most introverts have and it because that we are not very proficient in the ways of society.
There are certain rules (I don't know who makes these rules) that people don't like broken in society.
Let me ask you a question:
Why is it that everyone appreciates your honesty until the time that you are honest with them and then you are an arsehole in their eyes?
I suppose at the end of the day people don't want to hear the truth. They would prefer that you are diplomatic. Like this:
At the end of the day, there are certain things that you can and can't do in society and there are certain things that can and can't say. You have to decide what they are.
This is a problem that I'm sure most introverts have and it because that we are not very proficient in the ways of society.
There are certain rules (I don't know who makes these rules) that people don't like broken in society.
Let me ask you a question:
Why is it that everyone appreciates your honesty until the time that you are honest with them and then you are an arsehole in their eyes?
I suppose at the end of the day people don't want to hear the truth. They would prefer that you are diplomatic. Like this:
At the end of the day, there are certain things that you can and can't do in society and there are certain things that can and can't say. You have to decide what they are.
Tuesday 5 June 2018
LIVING IN AN EXTROVERTED WORLD
https://www.instagram.com/p/BfPXNH-BNlQ/?taken-by=understandintroverts
In the above link there is a very interesting quote. Let me write it out for you:
"I am not quiet, at all, or shy. I just don't feel like I have anything substantive to contribute at this time so I'm abstaining from polluting the environment with pointless noise emanating from my mouth. I wish everyone would do the same."
I'm not sure who said this but they are 10000000% correct. Why should someone who has nothing to say be forced into saying something because the chatterboxes around us feel uncomfortable when we are not saying anything?
The ironic thing is that, introverts are uncomfortable when someone around them is speaking at 1000 miles an hour. But that's OK because they are talking.
For some reason, we value noise pollution more than we value silence. Why is that?
We live in an extroverted world, don't we? I don't think we can change that but we can make people (especially the talkative ones) aware that not everyone is the same and not everyone wants to listen to your bullshit.
In the above link there is a very interesting quote. Let me write it out for you:
"I am not quiet, at all, or shy. I just don't feel like I have anything substantive to contribute at this time so I'm abstaining from polluting the environment with pointless noise emanating from my mouth. I wish everyone would do the same."
I'm not sure who said this but they are 10000000% correct. Why should someone who has nothing to say be forced into saying something because the chatterboxes around us feel uncomfortable when we are not saying anything?
The ironic thing is that, introverts are uncomfortable when someone around them is speaking at 1000 miles an hour. But that's OK because they are talking.
For some reason, we value noise pollution more than we value silence. Why is that?
We live in an extroverted world, don't we? I don't think we can change that but we can make people (especially the talkative ones) aware that not everyone is the same and not everyone wants to listen to your bullshit.
Monday 4 June 2018
Never Give Up or Never Give In? It doesn't matter. It still is the same message.
It is said that former UK prime minister, Winston Churchill got up one day to give a speech and told everyone to "Never, Never, Never give up."
Whether this is true or not, I'm not sure, apparently is it not. Apparently he spoke for about 20 minutes and said the following:
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense."
Whether Winston Churchill said "in" or "up" is irrelevant. What we can get from this is don't ever give up on your dreams and of the things that you know to be right.
When you know in your mind and in your heart and in your gut that it is the right thing to do, don't give up on it even if the odds seem to be against you. Don't give up!
I know I am not going to.
Sunday 3 June 2018
IS IT BETTER TO BE COLD?
A few years ago, I read a book by Tim Ferriss called The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman.
First of all, he knows how to market it doesn't he? Weight loss, Sex, Superhuman! Who wouldn't want to read this book? I know I did. (A couple of times.)
One of the things I got out of the book was the idea of the ice bath. You fill your bathtub with cold water, throw some ice in the water and get in for 20 minutes. For some people reading that, it sounds like torture, right? I tried it a few times and it wasn't too bad. I think the problem was that I didn't have enough ice in the bath so even though the water was cold it wasn't ice cold. Also, it wasn't very pleasant.
My friend says that you should try something that you intend to do for the rest of your life. For example, don't just go on a diet that you will follow for two weeks, you should try and do something that is sustainable for the rest of your life. So maybe 20 minute ice baths were not the best but what I have discovered this week is that cold showers are the thing now.
So this week I started taking cold showers, both in the morning and after my gym sessions. So far I have had 12 cold showers and I tell you the first couple were pretty difficult. The word torture comes to mind but I managed to get through and the initial few seconds is the worst but after that it is pretty easy.
I've found out that there are some benefits to cold showers (which I think are harder than an ice bath):
1. It wakes you up. Imagine jumping into a freezing cold pond first thing in the morning. You are going to be wide awake. Same thing.
2. It is good for your skin and hair. I'm not sure about my skin yet but I have noticed even after only 12 times that my usually dry hair is not so dry anymore and it feels a lot more smoother than normal.
3. Good for weight loss. We shall see but I can sort of understand the science behind it.
4. Accelerates muscle soreness and recovery. Professional athletes talk about having an ice bath after a game. Hydrotherapy and all that. They seem to be still doing it so it must work although in saying that, I was sore all last week from working out at the gym. Cold showers did not work at all.
This might not be for everyone but I do suggest to give it go. You never what you might find out about yourself.
First of all, he knows how to market it doesn't he? Weight loss, Sex, Superhuman! Who wouldn't want to read this book? I know I did. (A couple of times.)
One of the things I got out of the book was the idea of the ice bath. You fill your bathtub with cold water, throw some ice in the water and get in for 20 minutes. For some people reading that, it sounds like torture, right? I tried it a few times and it wasn't too bad. I think the problem was that I didn't have enough ice in the bath so even though the water was cold it wasn't ice cold. Also, it wasn't very pleasant.
My friend says that you should try something that you intend to do for the rest of your life. For example, don't just go on a diet that you will follow for two weeks, you should try and do something that is sustainable for the rest of your life. So maybe 20 minute ice baths were not the best but what I have discovered this week is that cold showers are the thing now.
So this week I started taking cold showers, both in the morning and after my gym sessions. So far I have had 12 cold showers and I tell you the first couple were pretty difficult. The word torture comes to mind but I managed to get through and the initial few seconds is the worst but after that it is pretty easy.
I've found out that there are some benefits to cold showers (which I think are harder than an ice bath):
1. It wakes you up. Imagine jumping into a freezing cold pond first thing in the morning. You are going to be wide awake. Same thing.
2. It is good for your skin and hair. I'm not sure about my skin yet but I have noticed even after only 12 times that my usually dry hair is not so dry anymore and it feels a lot more smoother than normal.
3. Good for weight loss. We shall see but I can sort of understand the science behind it.
4. Accelerates muscle soreness and recovery. Professional athletes talk about having an ice bath after a game. Hydrotherapy and all that. They seem to be still doing it so it must work although in saying that, I was sore all last week from working out at the gym. Cold showers did not work at all.
This might not be for everyone but I do suggest to give it go. You never what you might find out about yourself.
Saturday 2 June 2018
THESE ARE THINGS INTROVERTS WANT YOU TO KNOW
Dear Extroverted people,
Here are some things that us, introverts want you to know.
1. We don't need to be around people all the time. We do need time to ourselves.
2. Just because I am not saying anything doesn't mean I'm bored. Who says that I should be yelling from the rooftops and shouting in your ear to prove that I am enjoying myself?
3. I'm not anti-social. I will go out with you when the time is right and when there is a reason and Dear Mr./Ms. Extrovert, because it is Friday does not make it a reason. Am I clear?
4. Going to a party is not my go to when I want to socialise. Dancing and boozing with 300 of my "closest" friends is not my way of enjoying myself I am sorry to say. You go to the party. You go and dance and rule the floor. I'll see you tomorrow.
5. Introverts hate to be interrupted. Hey! It has taken us a lot to step outside out comfort zone and talk and you have the gall to interrupt us. No wonder us introverts forget what we are going to say after you have had yours (in the middle of ours).
6. Introverts are not shy...... PERIOD.
7. Extroverts, we take a little longer than "normal" to enter a conversation. Be patient for god sake. Just because we are not bullshitting at 100 miles an hour doesn't mean we have nothing worthwhile to say.
8. Silence does not equal depression. Far from it. We just have nothing to say. Is that OK? Or are you desperate for the introverts to say something until we say something un-PC and you guys get all defensive and uncomfortable. It's your fault.
Please remember these things when you are talking to an introvert. And shut up too. You might actually learn something.
Here are some things that us, introverts want you to know.
1. We don't need to be around people all the time. We do need time to ourselves.
2. Just because I am not saying anything doesn't mean I'm bored. Who says that I should be yelling from the rooftops and shouting in your ear to prove that I am enjoying myself?
3. I'm not anti-social. I will go out with you when the time is right and when there is a reason and Dear Mr./Ms. Extrovert, because it is Friday does not make it a reason. Am I clear?
4. Going to a party is not my go to when I want to socialise. Dancing and boozing with 300 of my "closest" friends is not my way of enjoying myself I am sorry to say. You go to the party. You go and dance and rule the floor. I'll see you tomorrow.
5. Introverts hate to be interrupted. Hey! It has taken us a lot to step outside out comfort zone and talk and you have the gall to interrupt us. No wonder us introverts forget what we are going to say after you have had yours (in the middle of ours).
6. Introverts are not shy...... PERIOD.
7. Extroverts, we take a little longer than "normal" to enter a conversation. Be patient for god sake. Just because we are not bullshitting at 100 miles an hour doesn't mean we have nothing worthwhile to say.
8. Silence does not equal depression. Far from it. We just have nothing to say. Is that OK? Or are you desperate for the introverts to say something until we say something un-PC and you guys get all defensive and uncomfortable. It's your fault.
Please remember these things when you are talking to an introvert. And shut up too. You might actually learn something.
Friday 1 June 2018
Things that Introverts hate to hear
If you identify yourself as being an introvert, there is probably a number of things that you have heard of a regular basis. Lets go through some of them now:
"You're so quiet."
This is one thing that really gets my goat. Some people, usually extroverts expect other people to be talking all the time. They expect scintillating conversation about some boring topic that is cool but doesn't advance the intellectual capabilities of either party so when an introvert doesn't have anything to say about the Kardashians, they are considered quiet.
"Why don't you ever want to go out?"
When people suggest going out on a Friday or Saturday night, it is usually to a noisy bar or nightclub where people shout at each other and have those annoying small talks that introverts love so much. (Note the sarcasm.) Extroverts just don't understand that introverts can't handle all of these stimulation. It is too much. They are drained of energy very quickly.
"You're just shy."
Not talking much does not equal shy. Not talking much means that he or she has nothing to say. They can't contribute to the conversation very well at all. When I went to the bar or nightclub I was told that I was shy. I wouldn't approach women. What the problem was I could't hear what the woman was saying. The environment was so stimulating that it was just not a good situation for me and also the fact that I couldn't bullshit (small talk) meant that my success rate at those places was minimal.
"Why do you spend so much time alone?"
Introvertism 101 = introverts energise by either being alone or with one other person or in a small group. Any other questions?
"You should socialise more."
By socialise, you mean what? Believe it or not, everyone is different on this piece of rock hurtling through space at 107,000 km/h. What does socialise mean? With social media we can all socialise by using those different apps now. For example, interacting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, hey even Tinder and Bumble. Also, socialising doesn't mean meeting up at the local bar for a few brews with some mates. For some people that might mean socialise but for introverts it can mean having two of their closest friends over for dinner. That's socialising, isn't it? Or do you need to be a loud venue with 500 people?
"Are you ok? Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm ok. Are you ok?"
I don't get this one. Just because you are not spending you entire life talking the ear off the people around you. It doesn't mean that you are sick or ill or bad in any way.
As they say, Silence is Golden.
"You're so quiet."
This is one thing that really gets my goat. Some people, usually extroverts expect other people to be talking all the time. They expect scintillating conversation about some boring topic that is cool but doesn't advance the intellectual capabilities of either party so when an introvert doesn't have anything to say about the Kardashians, they are considered quiet.
"Why don't you ever want to go out?"
When people suggest going out on a Friday or Saturday night, it is usually to a noisy bar or nightclub where people shout at each other and have those annoying small talks that introverts love so much. (Note the sarcasm.) Extroverts just don't understand that introverts can't handle all of these stimulation. It is too much. They are drained of energy very quickly.
"You're just shy."
Not talking much does not equal shy. Not talking much means that he or she has nothing to say. They can't contribute to the conversation very well at all. When I went to the bar or nightclub I was told that I was shy. I wouldn't approach women. What the problem was I could't hear what the woman was saying. The environment was so stimulating that it was just not a good situation for me and also the fact that I couldn't bullshit (small talk) meant that my success rate at those places was minimal.
"Why do you spend so much time alone?"
Introvertism 101 = introverts energise by either being alone or with one other person or in a small group. Any other questions?
"You should socialise more."
By socialise, you mean what? Believe it or not, everyone is different on this piece of rock hurtling through space at 107,000 km/h. What does socialise mean? With social media we can all socialise by using those different apps now. For example, interacting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, hey even Tinder and Bumble. Also, socialising doesn't mean meeting up at the local bar for a few brews with some mates. For some people that might mean socialise but for introverts it can mean having two of their closest friends over for dinner. That's socialising, isn't it? Or do you need to be a loud venue with 500 people?
"Are you ok? Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm ok. Are you ok?"
I don't get this one. Just because you are not spending you entire life talking the ear off the people around you. It doesn't mean that you are sick or ill or bad in any way.
As they say, Silence is Golden.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)