SOME INTERESTING PIECES OF ADVICE

This is an interesting article:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1hDiiU/:1QRykrrA:qXIq11Cc/www.raptitude.com/2015/02/67-short-pieces-of-advice-you-didnt-ask-for

Lets have a look at some of the advice and how it relates to introverts and extroverts.

The article as the title suggests gives us some pieces of advice, 67 to be precise.


8. Ask yourself if you've become a relationship freeloader. Initiate the plans about half the time. 

Don't do as I used to do and just wait for the phone to ring because it seldom does. If you want to do something you need to get out there and do something. You have to organise it yourself especially if you are not a natural party animal.


9. Notice how much you talk in your head, and experiment with listening to your surroundings instead. You can't do both at the same time.

I have an ongoing conversation in my head. Sometimes it is interesting but other times it is a waste of time. If I practiced meditation then I could clear my head and it could be great.


10. Reach out to people you know are shy. It's hard for them to get involved in social things without somebody making a point of including them.

I can relate to this the most. In this case I am saying that introverted people are shy even though the two things are very different. Sometimes an introverted person does like to go out and have a few beers and let their hair down but because they are not out all of the time, they are lost in the ether. So if you know someone who would appreciate an invite, do it.


18. Expect people to get offended sometimes when you try to tell them what to do. Even if you think it's good advice.

Some people just don't want to hear it. Some introverted people are not really in tune with the social dynamics of a group. I know I have been guilty of offering unsolicited advice in the past and the other person not wanting to hear it and I can understand what they are thinking. I have kept information in the past from people because I know that the "advice" I would get is something that I don't want to hear.


31. Don't be late. Everyone hates waiting for late people.

I hate this. I really do. With the age of the cell phone we see it more and more. Basically it is a lack of respect and if anyone is late. I would give them 10 minutes, maybe 15 minutes at the most. I'm always interested with the group dynamic of lets say four people. Two of the four will arrive early and chat. One person will arrive right on time, almost to the second while the last one will arrive late and then keep everyone waiting for a few more minutes because they are oblivious to everyone and they want to buy something from the convenience store because they didn't have time to do it before. It is very annoying.


35. Make a point of sitting and chatting with at least one local whenever you travel. It will transform your view of the place.

I remember I was in London a few years ago and I spent the afternoon and part of the evening with a local. It was a lot of fun. He showed me around places that tourists probably wouldn't go to and my understanding of London was a lot better.


51. Avoid being the least sober person in the room, unless you're the only person in the room.

It is not cool being absolutely pissed. (For American readers, this means drunk. It doesn't mean angry.) Being the drunkest person in the room is never cool and believe me, that picture of you will last for a long time in other people's minds and it may never go. By all means drink but drink to enjoy not too excess.

52. Go to New York, at least once.

I've never been to New York City although I have set foot in New York state. I remember from the song sunscreen that the guy giving the speech recommends living in New York once but to leave before it makes you hard. I can make a good guess to what that means. Maybe I should make that a goal to do in the next year or so. Anyone care to join me?

55. If life ever feels like it's too loud and busy, go hang out at the library.

I am writing this in a library. It is a good place to relax and get some serious work done without the noise of the street 37 floors below. Although this library isn't the greatest for books you can find some that are of interest and even now you can hire DVDs and the like.

57. If you think dancing isn't for you, try it again sometimes.

What is that saying? 'Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. Love like you have never been hurt.' Get out there and do some dancing. You will feel a lot better about yourself, believe me. I used to go to salsa dancing lessons and I was absolutely hopeless and my friend still gives me grief about it but at least i gave it a go and I am proud of that fact.

64. Try not to let a week go by without having lunch or coffee with a friend. 

As an introvert, it is really easy to shut yourself off from the rest of the world. I know. I have done it before. However, you do have friends who care for you and love you and you should go out and spend time with them before it is too late.

Have you heard of peacocking?

Peacocking? Have you heard of it? No, it's not the following:

Peacocking is a term that was used in the early 2000's in the online seduction community. They believed that if you dressed a bit outlandishly you could attract the attention of a woman and hence maybe have the opportunity to mate (have sex) with her. Very much like the peacock itself attracts a mate.

I'll let Wiktionary define peacocking for you:

Ostentatious dress or behaviour employed by a man in an attempt to impress women.

If you are still a bit confused by this all, let Howard Wolowitz explain it to you:

Do you get the idea?

You don't have to wear a flowery shirt or an eye patch, although if you do, please send me a photo, you just need to do something that is a little bit unusual.

Now, I must admit when I first heard of this I felt really anxious about the whole thing so rather than diving in at the deep end you could wear something a little bit different like wearing red socks or how about wearing different coloured socks like the following guy:

(By the way, this video in no way is a show of support for Bill Cosby in the ongoing sexual related allegations against him. It is just a way to show the different coloured socks.)

What are you going to do to stand out? What are you going to do to get the attention of people who seem to be endlessly looking at their smartphones?

The Hong Kong Sevens (香港國際七人欖球賽)

If I asked you what is the most popular annual rugby tournament in the world, would you be able to answer?

Some people might guess that it is the Bledisloe Cup or the Calcutta Cup or something similar.

I would have to say that it is none of them. It is the Hong Kong Sevens.

I've always wanted to go and watch until I realised that it isn't really about the rugby at all and the fact that I don't actually like sevens rugby anyway.

What do I mean, that it isn't about the rugby?

Sevens rugby around the world seems to be one big party with Hong Kong being the king of the sevens circuit. Spectators get dressed up in their best fancy dress and then do their best to drink the bar dry. I think that some of them get close to doing it too.

The whole point of this is that their are some events out there where you need to have significant amounts of energy to 'survive' it. These tournaments can go on for two or three days and remember as introverts that if you do go you may need to excuse yourself on a couple of times because these tournaments can be quite stimulating and you need to recharge.

If you can, remove yourself from the action for just a few moments, this will allow you the moment of recharging so you can rejoin the party and continue the liquid refreshments if that is your way to party.

ANZAC Day 2018 - Lest we Forget

Dear Grandad, Dear Poppa

I thought that I would use this day to say G'day and I hope that you are both doing well wherever you are.

Grandad, I think of you most days as I live near a Dunlop stockist. Everyday I walk past the store and think of you in the office in Princess Street.

I also wonder what you would think of the T20 cricket that dominates the cricketing landscape these days. You would probably be fascinated by it all. 

Poppa, I never did (and still don't) share your fondness of grapefruit and gin but I still like watching rugby.

Three months ago you would have been reunited with Nan. I hope you two are enjoying your time together again. One of my favourite memories of you was our last time at Mount Maunganui together. I was only 11 but I remember that holiday like it was only yesterday. 

Today I want to say thank you to both of you. You both left New Zealand shores when you were young. You both went to places that you had never been to before and probably never went to again. You went their for your country and for your family and because you believed in something. Because of you, both myself and your other grandchildren are able to live lives of freedom and opportunity. We take it for granted but we have both of you to thank for it.

Love Blair.


April 25th, 2018.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT INTROVERTS

OK everyone. Please listen up. There are a few things that you need to know about introverts. So here goes:

1. Just because an introvert doesn't want to spend every minute of every day with you, it doesn't me that he or she doesn't love you. It just means that they need space. They need alone time. What is wrong with that?

2. If you accept an introvert for who they are, they will love you and you will never have anyone who is as loyal as an introvert. You will find that some extroverts have "hundreds" of friends whereas introverts have a handful but they are loyal to them all.

3. If you are in an introvert's life you must be pretty special to him or her. Don't forget that. Introverts don't let many people into their lives.

4. I know that I hate confrontation and introverts hate confrontation so don't expect any results by forcing an introvert to answer. They will clam up, believe me.

5. Introverts are known as great listeners (although in saying that, I am probably not so great at it) so remember to give them the same courtesy. If you do this, you might learn something about your introverted friend that you have never heard before.

6. Introverts energise by being alone. Always, always, always remember that. They need that alone time and don't take it as an insult because it is not. You trying to get an introvert to hang out is the insult.

7. Introverts are extremely loyal when they LOVE someone. They will do anything for you and they expect that same loyalty in return. If you question or take that loyalty for granted then you will create and enemy and that is never good.

If you remember these seven things, you will have an introvert as a friend for life and we can always have one more friend, right?

DO YOU ORDER TO SHARE OR ORDER FOR YOURSELF?

Watch the above video. Go ahead. I'll wait until you finish. Come on, push that play button. What are you scared of?

What did you think? Can you relate? I'm willing to bet that there are two types of people out there.

Which one are you?

Are you the one who wants to stick all the orders in the middle of the table and share it or are you the one (Smithy) who likes to eat what he ordered?

I'll tell you which one I am, I with Smithy on this one.

Lets forget about the size of Smithy's order for a couple of minutes. That's irrelevant to this scene. What I see however is someone who has thought about what he wants to eat and he has ordered. Probably, a couple of the items on that menu are unusual.

Unusual? I hear you ask. Yes, unusual. Most people when they order takeaway food like this are not very creative and they are not into taking risks so they will order the same thing, time and time again. Then they see that someone has ordered something that is not usual and they are curious, they want it. No risk, right? They will take it and I'll tell you from experience, it really pisses you off. Well it pissed me off time and time again.

I'll give you an example. When I was growing up, the New Zealand example of the above scene was fish and chips.

As the name would suggest, fish and chips is deep fried fish and French fries. You can see it in the above photo. Also on the menu were hot dogs and later on they started offering hamburgers. You know typical kiwi hamburgers with beetroot in them. My favourite was the egg burger.

One of the interesting menu items was donuts. At that time in New Zealand donuts were spelt doughnuts and looked like the following:

Mmmmmmmmmm, DELICIOUS.

However at the fish and chip shop they sold donuts which looked like this:

These were quite unusual in New Zealand at the time so when I ordered one people would want some because it wan't very popular and they wanted to try it which as you can imagine annoyed the hell out of me because I wanted to eat it which is why I ordered it.

I think the Smithy scene is relevant to not only ordering Indian or Chinese or whatever food. We just do the same thing over and over again. Why? Because it is comfortable. We think, better the devil we know rather than branching out and risking looking like an idiot and believe it or not applies to ordering donuts from the fish and chip shop.

How many times have you gone to a Thai restaurant (I'm amazed westerners started going to Thai restaurants in the first place) and ordered the same thing that you had last time. I know that I do which is sometimes I will trust the other person to order for me because then I will get something that  I have never tried before. It is like a culinary adventure.

If you want to try something different or you want to try and do something different, go ahead and do it. Get out of that funk you are it. Who knows, you might change you life, just by ordering a donut as opposed to two pieces of fish because that is what you always do.

I'll leave you with a photo of a hot dog. MMMMMMM. Is it lunch time yet?

DRINKING TO IMPRESS - NOT A GOOD IDEA

This is a very interesting article:

https://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv-radio/103280123/i-was-a-functioning-alcoholic-breakfast-host-hayley-holt-opens-up-about-the-booze

For those of you who are not so enthusiastic to read this article let me summarise it.

New Zealand television host Hayley Holt tells us that she was an alcoholic and has now been sober for more than three years.

Why did she decide to drink so much?

Because she thought that was the way to fit in with her social group. She said that she was shy, self-conscious and maybe even a little introverted. So to fit in, she said that she drank so that she could be part of that group.

One of the most interesting parts of that article was she said that all of her friends were cool and popular.

I would argue that some, if not all of them probably had self-esteem issues and like Hayley they may have hidden it, not through alcohol but by acting.

We all have our insecurities. We all have our little things that worry us but at the end of the day it is how we cope with these things. How we get over them is what counts.

Hayley Holt said that she used alcohol. She used the old Dutch courage to get over it which is not the best thing to do. The good thing is that she realised it and stopped and that takes a lot of guts and who knows, only she does, she might have lost a few friends because of it which suggests that they weren't her real friends anyway.

It's almost become a bit of a cliche but you are not going to find answers at the bottom of a bottle or glass.

By all means, go out but only if you WANT to. That's the key. Don't think that you have to be a boozer. Don't think that you have to have hundreds of friends. Don't think that you have to drink to be friends.

Your true friends will respect your true self. Your true friends will respect that you don't want to imbibe alcohol on that particular day.

I say well done to Hayley Holt for coming out and telling her story.

Be true to yourself and don't drink alcohol if you don't want to.

Shigeo Nagashima and Sadaharu Oh

Today I met a former professional baseball player here in Japan. He played 16 seasons for various teams and is now a coach in one of the organisations in Japanese professional baseball. I don't think I have ever met a professional baseball player before although I might be wrong.

That got me thinking about some of the best players in the history of Japanese professional player and two names came to mind. No, not Hideki Matsui and Ichiro Suzuki. I thought of Shigeo Nagashima and Sadaharu Oh. These guys are two of the legendary players in this part of the world.

Of the two, Nagashima was more popular. Why? Apparently he played in a carefree manner which was the antithesis of Japanese society where everyone knew their place and you should follow the rules and that old chestnut, the nail that sticks out should get hammered down.

Of the two, Oh was undoubtedly more talented. I have see videos of interviews of Major League Baseball players and they all mentioned Sadaharu Oh as one of the all time greats and very rarely do I hear the name Nagashima even though his career batting average is over .300 and he hit 444 home runs. Not a bad career even when looked at by this amateur baseball enthusiast.

Sadaharu Oh played for longer than Nagashima and he also batted over .300 and hit 868 home runs in  his career which I think is a record in any professional baseball league anywhere in the world.

I find it interesting that Nagashima was more popular than Oh.

Why was he more popular?

As I said before, he was carefree. He made some silly errors but that seemed to make him human in the eyes of the fans.

I read Sadaharu Oh's autobiography a few years ago and although it was an interesting read he did come across as a little robotic although in saying that we can not argue with his statistics. Also, unfortunately, Oh's Chinese background may have not have endeared him to some members of the public.

What is the point of this post today?

Well, sometimes you have to stand out and sometimes you have to make yourself look like a fool to get what you want or to catch attention. Nagashima was more popular because of making those mistakes.

Of course you have to practice and you have to be serious about your craft and you will get the results like Oh. Maybe not 868 home runs though. But sometimes you have to stand out. You have to do things that might leave you with egg on your face but when that kind of thing comes off, wow, people will remember it.

DO WHAT YOU WANT

It's Friday evening. What have you got planned for the weekend? Do you have a big night planned tonight? Are you going out with your friends and are you going to get absolutely sloshed? Will you be leaving town for the weekend?

OR

It's Friday evening. Are you going home to relax? What are you going to cook for yourself and your significant other? Do you have your Netflix playlist sorted out? Have you got any books on the shelf that have been unread for the longest time?

Whatever you do, make sure you own it. 

I know that a lot of introverted people do get pressured by their extroverted friends to go out and it can be annoying.  Believe me from experience.

I have learned recently that if you are going to say something, it is not what you say exactly, it is how you say it and if you say that you don't want to go to a noisy, smoky (if you are in Japan) bar and you say it with passion and not a wishy washy way then you are not going to get any resistance. You have to be strong that is the key. As soon as you show any weakness the peer pressure will become unbearable. It's true.

If you want to relax at home after a long week, don't succumb to the pressure say that you don't want to go. You might get the anti-social argument but you know otherwise. You are being true to yourself and true to how you energise.

Enjoy that time at home by yourself or with your significant other. Enjoy the food. Enjoy the movies and maybe even Netflix and Chill.

Be true to yourself. 

Have a great weekend.

BE ENTHUSIASTIC, ASK QUESTIONS, SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES

When you a go to a networking event or even on a first date do know what a lot of people do? You have probably been guilty of it. I know I have.

You ask question after question after question after question until the person says, "This is like a job interview." (Believe me, I have had that experience.)

So what do you do?

Conversations are a two way street. It isn't just question, answer, question, answer and so on. If you are asking the questions, you need to veer off the script on occasions. You need to talk about your own experiences.

Lets see if I can come up with an example:

You: So, where did you go to college?

Them: I went to Billabong State. I was an interesting school.

You: Really? I've heard some interesting things about that school. What did you major in there?

Them: I majored in psychology. It was a very interesting course and I would recommend it to anyone.

You: Wow! I have always been interested in psychology. I did the Myers Briggs test the other day and it was an interesting test. I learned things about myself that I would have never known. Have you done it?


See? You not just checking off a check box. Asked that question? Check. Asked that question? Check. No you are sounding enthusiastic about their answers and are giving some of your experience too.

Remember, life is not a list as Heath Ledger said once:

"Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married or own a house as if life was some kind of grocery list. But nobody ever asks if you are happy."

Act enthusiastic. Ask interesting questions and share your experiences. You can't lose.

QUOTE FOR TODAY

"Whatever you do, strive to do it so well that no man living and no man dead and no man yet to be born could do it better." - Benjamin Elijah Mays

You have got to be number one. Why not become the best in the world?

NOTE TO SELF:

NOTE TO SELF:

When you decide to do something, do it. If you book yourself at the gym for the 7.30am class, do yourself a favour and GO!

I had booked my gym at 7.30am which meant that I needed to go at 6.30am to get there with plenty of time to spare so I could get changed and warm up.

I didn't go.

They say to be successful you need to do what the other 97% don't want to do. Not many people want to go to the gym at 7.30am or even earlier but the successful people do. I was not successful this morning so I had to share the train with the 97% and even though it was only two stops, it was not pleasant at all.

My advice to myself and to you is to DO what you said what you are going to do whether you feel like it or not.

Let me repeat that. DO what you said you were going to do whether you want to or not.

You will win in the long run.

NOT EVERYONE CAN APPEAR ON REALITY SHOWS

If you were in any doubt that we live in an extroverted world, have a read of the following article:

https://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv-radio/103116142/bethenny-frankel-melania-trump-doesnt-have-the-personality-for-rhony

Basically Bethenny Frankel tells us that Melania Trump wouldn't do a very good job on Real Housewives of New York.

Hmmm, I wonder why. Could it be that Melania Trump is an introvert and that she is, lets say, more reserved than the other woman on the show and that doesn't make exciting television?

Of course it does.

If you need anymore evidence that we live in an extroverted world, this has to be it.

Did you watch the video? Do you think that someone who is quiet in nature, who likes to reenergise either by themselves or with one or two other people could cope with that lot?

Here is your answer, not at all. So Bethenny Frankel is correct, the Trumps just wouldn't cut it and that is ok.

It is ok to be quiet and not need to have one hundred people around you at all time.

It is ok to want to spend your Saturday nights alone or wth your significant other.

It is ok to not have to yell your thoughts and opinions so everyone within a one hundred mile radius can hear you.

It is ok to be quiet but sometimes you need to step out of your shell but appearing on a television reality show is not one of those times.

TITLES ARE FOR BOOKS AND MOVIES, NOT PEOPLE

Read the TITLE of the blog post.

If you can't be bothered, I'll write it out for you again:

TITLES ARE FOR BOOKS AND MOVIES, NOT PEOPLE.

Read it again. I dare you.

Why is it we call a medical doctor, Doctor? Why can't we call him or her by their given name? John. Susan. Bruce. Sally.

Why is it in Japan, they call their teachers, "teacher" and not by their given name or their family name? Why do we have to put a title on the name and in same cases not even use the name?

I'm not sure if this is true or not but Americans always seem to say "Mr. President." Why can't they just say Donald or Barack or whatever?

Also, Elizabeth, there is not way I'm calling you 'Your Majesty' and Charles, you will be called 'Charles' not "your royal highness." If you have a problem with that, get stuffed. Your father and mother did not name you, 'Your Majesty.' I will call them what they named you.

Some people might argue, how about Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. or Miss or whatever and to them I say that I don't have a problem with that. You are still using their names. Mr. Smith, Mrs. Chang, Ms. Patel. I think you are showing the necessary respect.

Some other people might argue that by using the person's job title, that is your culture and you are showing the necessary respect. What I say to that is 'bullshit.' Their parents did not name them that and so why should we use those titles?

Seriously.

I would love to hear other people's views on this.

WHERE THERE IS A WILL, THERE IS A WAY ...

"Where there is a will, there is a way. If there is a chance in a million that you can do something, anything, to keep what you want from ending, do it. Pry the door open or, if need be wedge your foot in that door and keep it open."-Pauline Kael

We have all heard that line, "it is not over until it's over." You decide when it is over, no anybody else.

Remember, as the quote above says, if there is a will there is a way. You can create anything if you have that will.

To smoke or not to smoke? To drink or not to drink?

Smoking. Who out there smokes? I don't. I know both my parents smoked when I was a child because it was the thing to do then. Also my grandparents smoked as well but I would say my generation and below have grown up with the fact that smoking is not the best thing to do with your health along with other people's health as well. Passive smoking. It's not cool.

But what about the social aspect of it?

Have a look at the following video from the hit comedy series of the 1990's and 2000's, Friends.

After watching that do you think that smokers get more opportunities than their non-smoking colleagues if their bosses are also smokers?

That's an interesting question isn't it? What if you don't drink alcohol? Does that mean you also miss out on the opportunities if you are not a raving alcoholic?

Well I have good news and bad news for you. The answer is yes or no.

Sure, you boss might overlook you if you don't go out drinking with him or her. They might do it out of spite or they might not even think of you because they talked about it with your colleague who did go out for a few. At the end of the day, do you really want to work for someone like that?

You do have the opportunity to prosper if you don't drink or smoke. You "just" have to work smarter and be indispensable to your team, your boss and your company, then it doesn't matter if you don't drink or smoke.

Don't do something just because you think it will get you ahead especially if you are compromising your values.

TAKE THE LEAD - DON'T WAIT

Listen up you introverts out there. Do you like group activities? I do ..... Sometimes.

Have you ever had to meet a group of people when you are going somewhere? I have. In fact it happened this morning.

This morning, I was meeting three other people and you can predict the behaviour of a group. It's almost a science.

Two people will be early. The third person will arrive on time but then will want to go to the convenience store to buy something and make you all wait while the fourth one will be straight out late blaming everything expect the fact that he or she is just lazy.

How can you fix this?

All that I can think of is that you have to become the leader and not let anyone else dictate what you can do or not.

If the people keep you waiting or can't get their stuff together, cast them adrift. For me and I bet for a lot of you out there, you don't like waiting, so if the other people don't have the respect to show up on time, just say goodbye. I believe if you are waiting around for them you are condoning their behaviour which is not good. Maybe give them a warning and if they can't work out their timetable, find someone else to spend your time with.

Time is precious. Don't waste it waiting for people who don't respect you.

                       

IT WILL HAPPEN

"There is no such thing as "impossible." If you can dream it and believe it, it can happen. We live in an infinite universe, with infinite possibilities. Stay open to the possibilities."
                                                                                               Abraham Hicks.

The things that are out there are the manifestation of what someone has thought. I'm writing this on a computer that was once in someone's mind. You are reading this post on the Internet, which was once in someone's mind. You might be reading this on an iPhone which was once in Steve Jobs' mind. If you have something in your mind and you truly, truly, truly want it, then it can happen.

Good luck, but remember that you have to take action as well. As Jim Carrey said "you can't just go out and eat a sandwich."

YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHO YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO

I would just like to expand on the blog post from a couple of days ago.

You can't, let me repeat that, you can't control who you are attracted to. I'm not attracted to every woman that I meet or see but I know that I am attracted to women. In fact as I am writing this post, I look up from my desk and I can see three women that I think are attractive and maybe if I did something I could manifest a date or something more long-lasting. That is where the choice is, whether I decide to do anything.

There is a woman here that I see maybe three or four times a week. I have never spoken to her and she has never spoken to me but for some reason I find her very attractive. Maybe it is the way she moves, I don't know. I know that I find her very attractive. Have I done anything? No. That is my decision. Maybe after talking to her I might find her not so interesting and my attraction is lost but until then we will never know.

I'll give you another example. I think Cheryl Cole is extremely attractive. If you look at the video below, I'm sure that both male and female would agree with me. However, I don't find her Geordie accent very attractive.

I'm a New Zealander and I'm sure that there are some people out there who don't find the Kiwi accent very attractive at all. You can't please everyone after all.

My point is today is that you can't control who you are attracted to. This is where I can't understand why there are idiots (and you are idiots) out there who think that homosexuality is a sin or gays and lesbians should burn in the fires of hell for eternity. What did they do to you? As I said, they can't control who they are attracted like you can't. They can decide to do something about it and they do but the fact that they do, how does it affect you and why should it be illegal?

Next time you see someone expressing their love to someone else, accept it. They are doing what is natural to them just like you probably did (hopefully recently).

You can't control who you are attracted to. Remember that.

SAYING HELLO TO EVERYONE

As many of the regular readers will know, I work on a daily basis at a member's library. You pay about $90 a month and you can use the library from 7am to midnight, 7 days a week. I believe that it is excellent value for money and I enjoy coming here. (I am writing this post in the library.)

There are three areas in the library and the area that I like to sit in (officially I say because I like the chairs, but unofficially, 37 floors above the ground can sometimes be a little scary) has a good view of the rest of the library and the other members.

Because of my interest in the introvert-extrovert continuum I do a lot of people watching. (I hope that doesn't make me sound creepy but it is 2018 and in some cases, you just need to sneeze in the wrong way and people will label you are creepy. So what can you do?)

Anyway, I have noticed one person in particular who is always chatting with other members. This person seems to know everyone although this person hasn't actually spoken to me. (Should I be worried? Maybe I am the creepy one after all.)

What I have learned by observing this person is that all you have to do is say hello and then go from there. I know that for a lot of people out there saying hello to strangers is quite scary and you can add my name to this list too but that is how you find out about other people and also find out about what else is going on in the world. 

Why don't you try saying hello to one person a day? What is the worst that can happen? They could ignore you. They could looked pissed off but would you want to talk to someone who gets pissed off when you say hello? Probably not. They are not the type of people that can bring value to your life. 

Go for it. Say hello to someone. Please tell me how it went.

WHAT DO GAYS AND WOMEN HAVE TO DO WITH TWEETS AND SUMO?

In the last 24 hours I have become aware of a couple of news stories that make my blood boil and it just shows that people, even though it is 2018 there is still stupid people in this world and it is all because of religion. There you go, I said it.

First of all I read that an Australian rugby player said in a tweet that all gay people should go to hell. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. People are defending him by saying that those are his religious beliefs.

OK, fair enough, but please correct me if I am wrong, doesn't religion promote the love of all people? Aren't children taught to love everyone in Sunday School? Also, when will religious people realise that homosexuality has nothing to do with the Bible or Koran or whatever. It has to do with nature and there is always going to be a certain percentage in nature that is homosexual. Also, Mr. and Mrs. Religious people, how does one man and one man who love each other affect you live? Let me answer that, THEY DON'T.

Let former New Zealand National MP Maurice Williamson explain it:

Interesting speech right? Before you say that he must be a tree hugging liberal, would you be astonished that he comes from the conservative side of the political spectrum?

The second news item that really got my goat was the following:

This is from a sumo tournament in rural Kyoto Prefecture in Japan. The mayor of the city where the tournament was taking place was giving a speech when he collapsed. In the commotion a couple of medically trained women, ran onto the ring and treated the mayor who thankfully survived and will no doubt be back at his desk in the very near future.

In sumo tradition, women are forbidden from going onto the ring as it is considered pure and women would dirty it. However, you would think that the life of a 67 year old man would outweigh tradition. Not in the sumo world however, both the arena announcer and the sumo referee could be heard telling the women to get off the ring. How ridiculous can you get? There is a time and place for tradition but the collapse of another human being is not that time. I must admit, if I collapsed on the sumo ring, I couldn't give a stuff who treated me.

I'm sorry, Sumo Association, you are a relic of the past and you need to get with the times or else your sport is going to lose relevance in our ever changing world. In fact I think that it is already happening. You are burying your collective heads in the sand and it is only going to get worse.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is 2018, these conservative, traditional, religious ways of thinking does not cut the mustard anymore.

While I am at it, are women allowed to play at Augusta? I didn't think so. Augusta National, grow up.

I'm sorry, I see they admitted their first female members in 2012. Well done.

PHONE OR EMAIL?

Do you prefer email or phone to organise plans with friends or even a business contact?

Most introverts out there will naturally say that email is the better way to avoid that contact with someone that they don't know well.

I'm here to say that using email to make plans is frustrating, annoying and a waste of time. Something that could be accomplished in a 90 second phone call can by the "convenience" of email take three days.

Whenever you want to organise something with a friend and I know that because you are an introvert  that it will be the singular friend, not friends, just pick up the phone and do it. You will thank both me and yourself when you do. It is so much easier.

Next time, ask yourself:

                               SHOULD I USE THIS?

                                     

                                     OR



                                               THIS?

TURNING IT ON AS AN INTROVERT

Today's post is short and sweet and it comes from the patron saint of introverts all over the world, Susan Cain.

"Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value high." - Susan Cain.

I couldn't agree with you more Susan. I know that I have turned it on when I have to. Sure the energy is sucked out of our life but if it is going to help the people that we love and respect then that is no problem at all.

SAY NO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO

This song really gets me going. Do you have a song that really gets you going?

Lets have a look at my version. This is for some introverts who have a problem in saying no:

(It's best to read this while listening to the music.)


Can you see it? Do you feel a little slack?
We can avoid it, if we pretend to nap.
I can see you through the curtains of the bedroom wall.

When I lost it, yeah you hired a band.
But I lost it, I couldn't stand
You were waiting as I slept next to the bedroom wall.

So say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO!

Can you feel my huff? No, No way!
No, no way! No, no way
Can you feel my huff? No, no way!
No, no way! No, no way!
Say NO NO!

Well we fudged it, trying to fit in, in the past.
That we fudged it, but it's in the past.
We can have some sleep on this side of the bedroom wall.

So say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO!

Can you feel my huff? No, No way!
No, no way! No, no way
Can you feel my huff? No, no way!
No, no way! No, no way!
Say NO NO!

Well I'm just a boy, in a group, not much joy
All shy and coy, by the curtains of the bedroom wall
So it's here I stand as an introverted man
But I found my mend near the curtains of the bedroom wall.

Now I'm turning the frown upside down, through the bedroom mound
And you come outside the bedroom wall
And you texted me and to see if I was free
So I put knees in the bed next to the bedroom wall.

So say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO!

Can you feel my huff? No, No way!
No, no way! No, no way
Can you feel my huff? No, no way!
No, no way! No, no way!
Say NO NO!

So say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO! Say NO NO!
Say NO NO!

Have a good sleep, have a good sleep.
Have a good sleep, have a good sleep.
Can you feel my huff.


As you have probably already guessed, this song is about introverts saying no to their friends if you don't want to go to the party or an event. This is a skill you need to acquire. It sounds a lot easier than it is. Believe me.

JUDGE FOR WHO NOT WHAT

One of the things in the life that is unavoidable is that you are going to be judged whether you like it or not. People are going to make judgements on you whether they know the facts or not. What do you think first impressions are?

Today I am wearing a black t-shirt. In Australia and New Zealand, a black t-shirt can mean that you are a bogan. According to Wikipedia, a bogan is slang in the aforementioned countries for a person whose speech, clothing, attitude and behaviour are considered unrefined and unsophisticated.

(First of all, I'm not exactly sure what unrefined and unsophisticated means. Of course to some people telling the truth is considered unrefined. So what do I know?)

Just to make it more understandable for some of you, the equivalent of bogans in other countries would be Chav in the United Kingdom and Redneck or White Trash in the United States of America.

One of the tell-tale signs of a bogan is the wearing of black t-shirts. Does that make me a bogan today? I don't think so. I'm just a guy writing a blog post in a member's library wearing a black t-shirt.  But in New Zealand and Australia it could mean that they are a bogan.

I suppose the Japanese equivalent would be Yanki. These people are usually young while bogans could be all ages.

Anyway, my point today is why do we judge people by what they are rather than who they are as a person?

How many times have you heard that this guy or that guy is a high-powered lawyer or something similar and made judgement on them and then found out they a complete wanker? I'ms are we have all done it. We made a judgement on what they are rather than who they are. Sure, he or she may have got to his position because they are a wanker but does that mean that we should respect them as a person? No!

I know a company I visit on a similar regular basis there are a couple of employees there who I would say are the proverbial chalk and cheese. One is very nice to me and helps me out whenever I ask and there are no questions ask. The other one has judged me for what I am and that person won't even look at me or acknowledge my presence. That person's loss I suppose.

I today's society we seem to be interested in titles as opposed to people's names. I'm sorry Japan you are guilty of this. That person sitting furtherest away from the door has a name and I'm sorry for criticising culture here but your parents didn't name you section-chief or company president or teacher. Maybe they wanted you to become these in the future but they did give you a name and surely the best respect is having someone use your name not calling you general manager or division-chief.

Judge people for who they are as a person not what they are.

By the way, what do you think of my black t-shirt?