Today will be the last day that I will write this blog. I was considering continuing until the end of the month to make it a round 700 number of posts but at the end of the day it is just a number so it doesn't really make any sense.
I would like to thank all of the readers who have taken time to read one of my posts or many of them. It is really nice to see a large number of you and that motivated me to continue with my writing.
I know that some of my opinions are a little controversial and maybe some of you haven't liked what I have written but that is the great thing about the Internet. You can share opinions and you are going to get the odd idiot but basically you can get a good dialogue going with different perspectives from all over the world.
I would encourage anyone to start a blog. You will find something to write about the more you do it.
From now, I will be concentrating on my two new projects. I have a new blog called The Opposite. You can check it out below:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Also I have my other new project with the situational extrovert. I will be blogging there too.
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
I look forward to seeing you all there.
Thank you again and I hope that our futures are as good as we can make them to be.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Tuesday, 19 June 2018
Monday, 18 June 2018
MORE CONFIDENCE
How do you become more confident? This question has been on the mind of many people over the years. There are some things you can do. Lets have a look:
1. Focus on you. Focus on improving YOUrself. Don't compare yourself to others. If you start comparing yourself with the rich guy, with the nice car and supermodel wife, you are just going to make yourself more and more depressed. Focus on what you can change. Focus on you and good things will come.
2. I've noticed about people from the two countries I have an affinity with, New Zealand and Japan that both people like to say sorry a lot, I mean more than is normal. I know that there are reasons for that but rather than saying sorry, why don't you say thank you or some other kind of gratitude phrase. Why do you say sorry a lot? Is it because you don't want someone to be angry with you? Use the word sorry sparingly. I know I have done more and more over the years and I feel a lot better for it.
3. This is for you introverts out there, if you don't want to go out. If you don't want to socialise on that particular night, repeat after me "NO". OK? Say it again. "NO."
4. My mother used to tell me off for slouching. I must admit that I still catch myself doing it from time to time. I find when I really concentrating on looking straight ahead with my shoulders back, I do feel more confident and that confidence seems to flow out of me and people notice it.
5. I've just come back from the gym. I feel good. I feel energetic. I feel confident. Enough said.
6. There is an old saying that if someone hasn't got a smile on their face, give them one of yours. I must admit I'm not very good at this but when I do and they smile back, you do feel more confident. Also remember that if you smile and they don't smile back, that is a reflection on them, not you.
7. I've just created a laminated list of what I should be doing on a daily basis. I must admit that the more ticks I mark on the sheet the better I feel. The more I do, the more I can do the next day and the next day and before I know it, things start to happen and you are in a totally different space.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
1. Focus on you. Focus on improving YOUrself. Don't compare yourself to others. If you start comparing yourself with the rich guy, with the nice car and supermodel wife, you are just going to make yourself more and more depressed. Focus on what you can change. Focus on you and good things will come.
2. I've noticed about people from the two countries I have an affinity with, New Zealand and Japan that both people like to say sorry a lot, I mean more than is normal. I know that there are reasons for that but rather than saying sorry, why don't you say thank you or some other kind of gratitude phrase. Why do you say sorry a lot? Is it because you don't want someone to be angry with you? Use the word sorry sparingly. I know I have done more and more over the years and I feel a lot better for it.
3. This is for you introverts out there, if you don't want to go out. If you don't want to socialise on that particular night, repeat after me "NO". OK? Say it again. "NO."
4. My mother used to tell me off for slouching. I must admit that I still catch myself doing it from time to time. I find when I really concentrating on looking straight ahead with my shoulders back, I do feel more confident and that confidence seems to flow out of me and people notice it.
5. I've just come back from the gym. I feel good. I feel energetic. I feel confident. Enough said.
6. There is an old saying that if someone hasn't got a smile on their face, give them one of yours. I must admit I'm not very good at this but when I do and they smile back, you do feel more confident. Also remember that if you smile and they don't smile back, that is a reflection on them, not you.
7. I've just created a laminated list of what I should be doing on a daily basis. I must admit that the more ticks I mark on the sheet the better I feel. The more I do, the more I can do the next day and the next day and before I know it, things start to happen and you are in a totally different space.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Sunday, 17 June 2018
Get out of the house - Football
Are you are football fan? Will you watching some of the FIFA World Cup of the coming weeks? Or couldn't you give two hoots about it?
Can I suggest to the introverts out there that for at least one game, you get out of the house and watch it with a large group of people.
Yesterday, I went to my local sports bar and watched the Australia v France match. It was such a great atmosphere. I thought that the bar was about 90% French with about 8% Australians.
Both sides sung the national anthem and it was awesome. At the end of the game, I was exhausted with all the visual stimulation going on but it was well worth it.
I'm not a big football fan but the atmosphere and everything else going on made it a lot easier to watch and of course you can have a bit of banter with fans of the differing sides.
Get out of the house during the World Cup, you might enjoy yourself.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Can I suggest to the introverts out there that for at least one game, you get out of the house and watch it with a large group of people.
Yesterday, I went to my local sports bar and watched the Australia v France match. It was such a great atmosphere. I thought that the bar was about 90% French with about 8% Australians.
Both sides sung the national anthem and it was awesome. At the end of the game, I was exhausted with all the visual stimulation going on but it was well worth it.
I'm not a big football fan but the atmosphere and everything else going on made it a lot easier to watch and of course you can have a bit of banter with fans of the differing sides.
Get out of the house during the World Cup, you might enjoy yourself.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Saturday, 16 June 2018
DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!!
A quick post today because I forgot to bring the adapter for my computer and it is at 12% now and I want to post something today.
Oh well. "That will learn you" as someone used to say to me a lot.
It's the weekend and I'm sure you have heard me talk about this ad nauseam. (It's 8% now)
Do what you want, not what you think you should do or what others pressure you into.
Just because it is beautiful outside, doesn't mean that you have to go outside.
Just because it is the weekend, it doesn't mean you have to drink alcohol (I'm going that today though, because I want to.)
DO WHAT YOU WANT
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Oh well. "That will learn you" as someone used to say to me a lot.
It's the weekend and I'm sure you have heard me talk about this ad nauseam. (It's 8% now)
Do what you want, not what you think you should do or what others pressure you into.
Just because it is beautiful outside, doesn't mean that you have to go outside.
Just because it is the weekend, it doesn't mean you have to drink alcohol (I'm going that today though, because I want to.)
DO WHAT YOU WANT
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Thursday, 14 June 2018
3 PROBLEMS THAT ALL INTROVERTS HAVE
We all have problems, don't we? Even the people that look like they have their lives together and look like they have everything, also have problems. It's what being a human being is all about, and guess what, if you don't have problems then I would question how you are living your life and whether or not you venture out of the house at all.
Anyway, lets move on to the biggest problems that all introverts have:
1. Wanting to be invited, but not wanting to go anywhere
Of the three problems written here, I can relate to this one the most. Sometimes, you do want to be recognised. Sometimes, you do want that invitation to a night out with the boys or the girls. Sometimes, you do want to have a night out at the bar talking about sports, making money and picking up chicks. However, there are occasions that even though you want these things, you just don't have the energy and going out and talking to a whole bunch of people that you don't know is the worst thing and would just drain you of so much energy.
2. Being lonely at home, but not wanting anyone in your space unless you really like them
Yep, this is another one I can surely relate to. It was very rare and still is to let anyone come to home. I have very rarely had parties at my home and if I ever did, it was only very few. Compare that to my brother who had a big party for his 21st birthday. Sure, I will have close friends or a girlfriend around but not hundreds. Definitely not.
3. And even if you really like them, you want them to go home soon
Friends yes, Girlfriend, No way Jose. I making breakfast for her the next morning.
I found this at the following URL:
https://www.pinterest.jp/pin/251427591678011267/
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Anyway, lets move on to the biggest problems that all introverts have:
1. Wanting to be invited, but not wanting to go anywhere
Of the three problems written here, I can relate to this one the most. Sometimes, you do want to be recognised. Sometimes, you do want that invitation to a night out with the boys or the girls. Sometimes, you do want to have a night out at the bar talking about sports, making money and picking up chicks. However, there are occasions that even though you want these things, you just don't have the energy and going out and talking to a whole bunch of people that you don't know is the worst thing and would just drain you of so much energy.
2. Being lonely at home, but not wanting anyone in your space unless you really like them
Yep, this is another one I can surely relate to. It was very rare and still is to let anyone come to home. I have very rarely had parties at my home and if I ever did, it was only very few. Compare that to my brother who had a big party for his 21st birthday. Sure, I will have close friends or a girlfriend around but not hundreds. Definitely not.
3. And even if you really like them, you want them to go home soon
Friends yes, Girlfriend, No way Jose. I making breakfast for her the next morning.
I found this at the following URL:
https://www.pinterest.jp/pin/251427591678011267/
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Wednesday, 13 June 2018
Social Recluse
This article is one of the most interesting I have read. It is about the hikikomori people in Japan. Predominately men, it shows a sad side of society who I believe has failed these people. Basically the hikikomori guys have given a big middle finger to society and have said in their actions that if you don't want what I have to offer, then you can go and get stuffed.
Lets have a look at some of the things written in the article:
1. "According to him, he is a great man and could do extraordinary things, but he does not aways try his best."
OK, if he doesn't try his best then that is 100% his problem but I wonder if he wanted, when he was younger to do things that his parents and immediate peers didn't approve of. I wonder if they tried to force him to change those things. I hope not but it could well be the case.
2. "In Japan, there are always two sides that oppose one another. It is both modern and traditional, bustling and very lonely."
This isn't really connected to hikikomori but it is actually really interesting. My friend has actually mentioned it a few times when he says "Japan is a perfect mix of 1950's and 2050's." He is not far off the mark.
Tokyo can also be a very lonely place. You would think that in a "town" of 15 million people that it would be impossible to get lonely but the opposite is the case. It can be very lonely. You live by yourself. You have few friends. You don't have many hobbies. Maybe you are a little shy. Do you understand what I am saying?
3. "Riki always tries to be outstanding, but has a fear of making mistakes."
Unfortunately, this is a problem in many societies. People are ridiculed for having a go and if they fail they are made fun of, ostracised. It takes a certain type of person to overcome that and it would be easy to go into that state of well if I am going to be made fun of I'm not going to do anything. How do you fix this? I don't know. That's a tough one.
4. "In Japan, where uniformity is still prized, and reputations and outward appearances are paramount, rebellion comes in muted forms, like hikikomori."
Yep, that sums it up. Parents, families want their sons to go to a good university, get a job in a prestigious company or take over their hanko (seal) shop when in fact that son wants to become a dancer or at least try to be. You have a clash right there between the perceived duty and the individualism of the man. So they say "stuff it" I'm going into my room.
5. "The longer the hikikomori remain apart from society, the more aware they become of their social failure."
I couldn't agree with this less. I'm sorry, society has failed them, not the other way around. This is the clash between the 1950's attitude and the 2018 attitude. Encourage them to do something different. Encourage them to fail. It's ok.
6. "Chujo, 24, has been a hikikomori for two years. He has dreams of becoming an opera singer, but as he is the eldest son, his family wants him to join the family business."
See what I mean? That's exactly what I wrote in number 4. He wants to become an opera singer and good luck to him I say but no he is caught between the duty of the family and his own dreams and aspirations so he locks himself up. Nobody is winning here. Everybody is losing.
Unfortunately this problem is not going to go away quickly and with more and more individualistic attitudes spreading, the clash between 1950's and 2018 will continue.
The "sisters" alluded to in this article are great but it is just a band aid. You have to fix the root of the problem and that will take generations.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Lets have a look at some of the things written in the article:
1. "According to him, he is a great man and could do extraordinary things, but he does not aways try his best."
OK, if he doesn't try his best then that is 100% his problem but I wonder if he wanted, when he was younger to do things that his parents and immediate peers didn't approve of. I wonder if they tried to force him to change those things. I hope not but it could well be the case.
2. "In Japan, there are always two sides that oppose one another. It is both modern and traditional, bustling and very lonely."
This isn't really connected to hikikomori but it is actually really interesting. My friend has actually mentioned it a few times when he says "Japan is a perfect mix of 1950's and 2050's." He is not far off the mark.
Tokyo can also be a very lonely place. You would think that in a "town" of 15 million people that it would be impossible to get lonely but the opposite is the case. It can be very lonely. You live by yourself. You have few friends. You don't have many hobbies. Maybe you are a little shy. Do you understand what I am saying?
3. "Riki always tries to be outstanding, but has a fear of making mistakes."
Unfortunately, this is a problem in many societies. People are ridiculed for having a go and if they fail they are made fun of, ostracised. It takes a certain type of person to overcome that and it would be easy to go into that state of well if I am going to be made fun of I'm not going to do anything. How do you fix this? I don't know. That's a tough one.
4. "In Japan, where uniformity is still prized, and reputations and outward appearances are paramount, rebellion comes in muted forms, like hikikomori."
Yep, that sums it up. Parents, families want their sons to go to a good university, get a job in a prestigious company or take over their hanko (seal) shop when in fact that son wants to become a dancer or at least try to be. You have a clash right there between the perceived duty and the individualism of the man. So they say "stuff it" I'm going into my room.
5. "The longer the hikikomori remain apart from society, the more aware they become of their social failure."
I couldn't agree with this less. I'm sorry, society has failed them, not the other way around. This is the clash between the 1950's attitude and the 2018 attitude. Encourage them to do something different. Encourage them to fail. It's ok.
6. "Chujo, 24, has been a hikikomori for two years. He has dreams of becoming an opera singer, but as he is the eldest son, his family wants him to join the family business."
See what I mean? That's exactly what I wrote in number 4. He wants to become an opera singer and good luck to him I say but no he is caught between the duty of the family and his own dreams and aspirations so he locks himself up. Nobody is winning here. Everybody is losing.
Unfortunately this problem is not going to go away quickly and with more and more individualistic attitudes spreading, the clash between 1950's and 2018 will continue.
The "sisters" alluded to in this article are great but it is just a band aid. You have to fix the root of the problem and that will take generations.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Tuesday, 12 June 2018
Two "interesting" men (post-script)
Last year I wrote the following post:
https://dailyrbl.blogspot.com/2017/08/an-open-letter-to-two-interesting.html
Today it seems that those two who ten months ago were going to bomb the shit out of each other are now in talks to stop all of that and it is great to see.
The world needs nuclear weapons like it needs a hole in the head and while I am on that subject, don't get me started on nuclear power.
Countries need to follow the New Zealand way, no nukes. By the way that is an unconditional law in New Zealand and it doesn't matter what side of the political spectrum is in power, it is going take some balls for a ruling party to revoke that one.
Anyway, everything looks hunky-dory. For how long? Time will tell I suppose.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
https://dailyrbl.blogspot.com/2017/08/an-open-letter-to-two-interesting.html
Today it seems that those two who ten months ago were going to bomb the shit out of each other are now in talks to stop all of that and it is great to see.
The world needs nuclear weapons like it needs a hole in the head and while I am on that subject, don't get me started on nuclear power.
Countries need to follow the New Zealand way, no nukes. By the way that is an unconditional law in New Zealand and it doesn't matter what side of the political spectrum is in power, it is going take some balls for a ruling party to revoke that one.
Anyway, everything looks hunky-dory. For how long? Time will tell I suppose.
This blog was discontinued as of June 19th, 2018.
Please check my two new projects:
http://www.situationalextrovert.com
Also, my new daily blog which will begin from July 1st, 2018:
https://doing-the-opposite.blogspot.com
Sunday, 10 June 2018
What can Professor Nash and Doctor Cooper teach us?
Have you even seen the movie A Beautiful Mind?
A Beautiful Mind is a movie about the life of John Nash, a mathematician. The movie won four Academy Awards and just showed the acting prowess of Russell Crowe who also did Gladiator around the same time in which he got the Oscar for Best Actor.
Some of my favourite scenes in the A Beautiful Mind movie are the real cringeworthy moments where Russell Crowe's character does not really play along with social convention like telling a beautiful woman at the bar that they should skip the small talk and the drink buying and just get to the "fluid exchange." If only it was that easy Professor Nash.
Russell Crowe's character in this movie reminds me of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. Unfortunately, there are things in society that you don't say and both of these characters say them and they can be cringy as well as funny, especially in Sheldon Cooper's situation.
What do you do when you meet these kind of people because you are bound to run into one or two of them over the course of a year or two?
1. Acknowledge that they are not clued up to society's expectations (whatever that means.)
2. You have to take what they say with a grain of salt. Laugh it off. See it as been quite entertaining.
3. Don't get offended. They will not realise that they are offensive to most people. Think of it like water off a duck's back.
At the end of the day, I am sure that we have all said things that we later thought was probably not the best thing to say. I know I have.... many times. You have just got to laugh it off. Chalk it up to one of life's experiences and move on. Don't dwell on it like I have in the past.
A Beautiful Mind is a movie about the life of John Nash, a mathematician. The movie won four Academy Awards and just showed the acting prowess of Russell Crowe who also did Gladiator around the same time in which he got the Oscar for Best Actor.
Some of my favourite scenes in the A Beautiful Mind movie are the real cringeworthy moments where Russell Crowe's character does not really play along with social convention like telling a beautiful woman at the bar that they should skip the small talk and the drink buying and just get to the "fluid exchange." If only it was that easy Professor Nash.
Russell Crowe's character in this movie reminds me of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. Unfortunately, there are things in society that you don't say and both of these characters say them and they can be cringy as well as funny, especially in Sheldon Cooper's situation.
What do you do when you meet these kind of people because you are bound to run into one or two of them over the course of a year or two?
1. Acknowledge that they are not clued up to society's expectations (whatever that means.)
2. You have to take what they say with a grain of salt. Laugh it off. See it as been quite entertaining.
3. Don't get offended. They will not realise that they are offensive to most people. Think of it like water off a duck's back.
At the end of the day, I am sure that we have all said things that we later thought was probably not the best thing to say. I know I have.... many times. You have just got to laugh it off. Chalk it up to one of life's experiences and move on. Don't dwell on it like I have in the past.
Saturday, 9 June 2018
It's the WEEKEND ... FINALLY!!!
It's the weekend!
For some of you, you are thinking "WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't have to slave for a boss who doesn't appreciate me for 64 hours."
Remember also that you don't have to be forced into anything that you don't want to do. Just because it is the weekend, it doesn't mean that you have to go out to all hours of the morning, drinking, dancing, flirting or whatever. Of course if that is your thing then go for it. You will have a great time.
But, Introverts, I'm talking to you. Don't be forced to go to the party if you don't want to. You know as well as I do that you will turn up at work on Monday feeling unenergised and the week will be a slog. A long, uncomfortable slog which is not doing anybody, any good at all.
Go and sit in the park and have a read. Go to that restaurant that you have always wanted to go to with your significant other. Fire up the Netflix or Hulu or whatever you use.
The weekends are for you and not what other people dictate to you.
Have a good one everyone.
Friday, 8 June 2018
PEOPLE WHO LUNCH .... OR DON'T
Why is it that as soon as the clock strikes 12pm, people file out of their offices to get lunch? Who made this rule that lunch time should be 12? I think it sucks personally. But most people walk around like zombies not questioning what I have just questioned and just go to the local restaurant or store to get something to eat whether they are hungry or not.
Why?
Just because that is how it is always been and who am I to question it?
Well, guess what? You are a person and I am guessing that since you are reading this you have probably got some brains, you have probably got some intelligence, so why don't you question this lunch hour thing?
I was reading an article yesterday in which it was questioning the whole 9 to 5 thing. I think we have come to a stage in our development in that we can work out when a person can work to the best of their abilities and it is not necessarily 9 to 5. It could be 7am to 1pm, then their productivity could fall right off and a warm body is sitting in the office but it is not doing anything.
It is time we wake up and question these generic times and generic working hours. What do you think?
Anyway, lets get back to the lunchtime thing. I'm sure that a lot of you are not hungry at 12. So what can you do at 12 that doesn't necessarily involve eating and could be better for you overall, health wise?
1. Go for a walk.
If you are stuck behind a desk all day, that walk could do you a lot of good. You don't have to breath the air conditioned air. You get some fresh air and some sun and hey, you could even get a tan if you are that way inclined. This walk will leave you energised for the rest of the day.
2. Go to the gym
I know some guys at the gym I go to spend their lunchtimes working out. They tell me that they don't really eat lunch or if they do they scoff it down at their desks after their exercise. They have quite high-pressured jobs so they tell me that the gym session breaks up their day quite well and gives them some energy for the afternoon.
3. Read
If walking or working out is not your thing then you could go outside and hopefully there is a park nearby and do some reading. Of course you could do this at your desk but remember we want you away from that environment for a short time.
4. Run errands
During your working hours you might not have enough time to go to the post office or the bank or even a dentist appointment. Use this time for that. Just getting out from behind that desk and walking (please tell me you will walk the five minutes to the bank, not take the car) will help you with the energy in the afternoon.
5. Device shutdown
Heaven forbid!!!! Did I just write that? Yes I did. I know from personal experience that it would be difficult to do, but imagine going the whole lunch hour without looking at your phone. I mean you probably sit in front of a computer all day so why sit in front of a phone all lunch time?
6. Thinking time
Lunch time in the park is another great time to do some thinking. Maybe about your job or that little side business you are trying to put together or even other things in your private life. It is amazing what you can come up with by just sitting in solitude for thirty minutes or so.
There you go. You don't have to trudge off to the local restaurant because all of your other colleagues are going to. You have other things to do with your time.
Have you noticed that a few of these suggestions are good for introverts?
I wonder why that is.
Why?
Just because that is how it is always been and who am I to question it?
Well, guess what? You are a person and I am guessing that since you are reading this you have probably got some brains, you have probably got some intelligence, so why don't you question this lunch hour thing?
I was reading an article yesterday in which it was questioning the whole 9 to 5 thing. I think we have come to a stage in our development in that we can work out when a person can work to the best of their abilities and it is not necessarily 9 to 5. It could be 7am to 1pm, then their productivity could fall right off and a warm body is sitting in the office but it is not doing anything.
It is time we wake up and question these generic times and generic working hours. What do you think?
Anyway, lets get back to the lunchtime thing. I'm sure that a lot of you are not hungry at 12. So what can you do at 12 that doesn't necessarily involve eating and could be better for you overall, health wise?
1. Go for a walk.
If you are stuck behind a desk all day, that walk could do you a lot of good. You don't have to breath the air conditioned air. You get some fresh air and some sun and hey, you could even get a tan if you are that way inclined. This walk will leave you energised for the rest of the day.
2. Go to the gym
I know some guys at the gym I go to spend their lunchtimes working out. They tell me that they don't really eat lunch or if they do they scoff it down at their desks after their exercise. They have quite high-pressured jobs so they tell me that the gym session breaks up their day quite well and gives them some energy for the afternoon.
3. Read
If walking or working out is not your thing then you could go outside and hopefully there is a park nearby and do some reading. Of course you could do this at your desk but remember we want you away from that environment for a short time.
4. Run errands
During your working hours you might not have enough time to go to the post office or the bank or even a dentist appointment. Use this time for that. Just getting out from behind that desk and walking (please tell me you will walk the five minutes to the bank, not take the car) will help you with the energy in the afternoon.
5. Device shutdown
Heaven forbid!!!! Did I just write that? Yes I did. I know from personal experience that it would be difficult to do, but imagine going the whole lunch hour without looking at your phone. I mean you probably sit in front of a computer all day so why sit in front of a phone all lunch time?
6. Thinking time
Lunch time in the park is another great time to do some thinking. Maybe about your job or that little side business you are trying to put together or even other things in your private life. It is amazing what you can come up with by just sitting in solitude for thirty minutes or so.
There you go. You don't have to trudge off to the local restaurant because all of your other colleagues are going to. You have other things to do with your time.
Have you noticed that a few of these suggestions are good for introverts?
I wonder why that is.
Thursday, 7 June 2018
HOW WE SHOW OUR LOVE
Hello Ladies.
Today's post is for you. I know I have written for men a few times in the past, however, today is for you and I hope that you get something out of it.
It wouldn't shock you to hear that men and women are different. (WOW! What are profound statement Blair.)
Seriously, I think that some people need to hear this on occasions because we do forget it.
So, ladies, how do you know that he really loves you?
Well, I suggest looking for these things. (By the way, don't just feel it. You will get yourself into a lot of trouble and regret if you do that.)
1. He will listen his ears off
I must admit that I am not the best listener even though they say that introverts are good listeners but when I am really into someone, I will 100% listen to you. And don't worry, I'm not going to solve your problems because we know that you don't want that. Although in saying that I have asked this question before, "Do you want me to listen as a man or a woman?" That confused her for a few second until I said that I can solve her problem or just listen. On second thoughts, I wouldn't suggest asking that too much.
2. He will compromise
Now, I know that some women lose attraction for a man if he stops doing things that he really loves to do but that suggests that you weren't very into him in the fist place and you were just stringing him along which I say "shame on you." If a man really loves you, he will compromise on a few things because he knows that they are important to you. I've seen men move to live with women in their hometowns. Now that is a big compromise. Do you think that he would do that if he was only 50% into you.
3. He will contact you regularly
Now I know that 50 texts a day is not good for anyone but a guy will check in from time to time just to see how you are. He will check in because he likes to feel you as you like to feel him as you like to feel his love.
4. You are family
A guy who is really into you will make you part of his family. He will invite you to family gatherings like birthdays, BBQs and Christmas. Hopefully, he has a loving enough family that because he loves you then there is no judgement on his family's part because they love him unconditionally and they will accept you unconditionally as well. If he invites you home for Christmas, take it. That is a big deal for you and him.
5. Presents have a reason
If someone really loves you they would have put in a lot of thought into gifts that they have got you. They might have even made it themselves. If they have, that shows real love. In Japan, the whole Valentine's Day tradition is that the woman gives chocolate to the man. So if you get store bought chocolate, then look for someone else. If she has taken the time to make something, then you are a lucky man. It is the same with men. If the thought is there, does it have to be an expensive gift?
6. You will have all the support that you can handle
If a guy really loves you, he will help you. He will do anything for you. If you take this for granted, then you are nothing but a user and you do not deserve him at all.
7. A man loves to make you laugh
There is nothing better for a man than to see his woman smiling and laughing. There is nothing better than to see his woman happy and full of life. Your man might play the fool sometimes but rest assured he is doing it for your entertainment and your wellness.
8. You are his priority
When it is all said and done, if a man really loves you he will make you his priority over any other person. Of course he will go out with some of his mates from time to time and you should let him because he will resent you if you don't let him, just like he should let you have the girl's night out too on occasions.
Today's post is for you. I know I have written for men a few times in the past, however, today is for you and I hope that you get something out of it.
It wouldn't shock you to hear that men and women are different. (WOW! What are profound statement Blair.)
Seriously, I think that some people need to hear this on occasions because we do forget it.
So, ladies, how do you know that he really loves you?
Well, I suggest looking for these things. (By the way, don't just feel it. You will get yourself into a lot of trouble and regret if you do that.)
1. He will listen his ears off
I must admit that I am not the best listener even though they say that introverts are good listeners but when I am really into someone, I will 100% listen to you. And don't worry, I'm not going to solve your problems because we know that you don't want that. Although in saying that I have asked this question before, "Do you want me to listen as a man or a woman?" That confused her for a few second until I said that I can solve her problem or just listen. On second thoughts, I wouldn't suggest asking that too much.
2. He will compromise
Now, I know that some women lose attraction for a man if he stops doing things that he really loves to do but that suggests that you weren't very into him in the fist place and you were just stringing him along which I say "shame on you." If a man really loves you, he will compromise on a few things because he knows that they are important to you. I've seen men move to live with women in their hometowns. Now that is a big compromise. Do you think that he would do that if he was only 50% into you.
3. He will contact you regularly
Now I know that 50 texts a day is not good for anyone but a guy will check in from time to time just to see how you are. He will check in because he likes to feel you as you like to feel him as you like to feel his love.
4. You are family
A guy who is really into you will make you part of his family. He will invite you to family gatherings like birthdays, BBQs and Christmas. Hopefully, he has a loving enough family that because he loves you then there is no judgement on his family's part because they love him unconditionally and they will accept you unconditionally as well. If he invites you home for Christmas, take it. That is a big deal for you and him.
5. Presents have a reason
If someone really loves you they would have put in a lot of thought into gifts that they have got you. They might have even made it themselves. If they have, that shows real love. In Japan, the whole Valentine's Day tradition is that the woman gives chocolate to the man. So if you get store bought chocolate, then look for someone else. If she has taken the time to make something, then you are a lucky man. It is the same with men. If the thought is there, does it have to be an expensive gift?
6. You will have all the support that you can handle
If a guy really loves you, he will help you. He will do anything for you. If you take this for granted, then you are nothing but a user and you do not deserve him at all.
7. A man loves to make you laugh
There is nothing better for a man than to see his woman smiling and laughing. There is nothing better than to see his woman happy and full of life. Your man might play the fool sometimes but rest assured he is doing it for your entertainment and your wellness.
8. You are his priority
When it is all said and done, if a man really loves you he will make you his priority over any other person. Of course he will go out with some of his mates from time to time and you should let him because he will resent you if you don't let him, just like he should let you have the girl's night out too on occasions.
Wednesday, 6 June 2018
IS HONESTY ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY?
Today, I have a question, so today this post is going to be short and sweet.
This is a problem that I'm sure most introverts have and it because that we are not very proficient in the ways of society.
There are certain rules (I don't know who makes these rules) that people don't like broken in society.
Let me ask you a question:
Why is it that everyone appreciates your honesty until the time that you are honest with them and then you are an arsehole in their eyes?
I suppose at the end of the day people don't want to hear the truth. They would prefer that you are diplomatic. Like this:
At the end of the day, there are certain things that you can and can't do in society and there are certain things that can and can't say. You have to decide what they are.
This is a problem that I'm sure most introverts have and it because that we are not very proficient in the ways of society.
There are certain rules (I don't know who makes these rules) that people don't like broken in society.
Let me ask you a question:
Why is it that everyone appreciates your honesty until the time that you are honest with them and then you are an arsehole in their eyes?
I suppose at the end of the day people don't want to hear the truth. They would prefer that you are diplomatic. Like this:
At the end of the day, there are certain things that you can and can't do in society and there are certain things that can and can't say. You have to decide what they are.
Tuesday, 5 June 2018
LIVING IN AN EXTROVERTED WORLD
https://www.instagram.com/p/BfPXNH-BNlQ/?taken-by=understandintroverts
In the above link there is a very interesting quote. Let me write it out for you:
"I am not quiet, at all, or shy. I just don't feel like I have anything substantive to contribute at this time so I'm abstaining from polluting the environment with pointless noise emanating from my mouth. I wish everyone would do the same."
I'm not sure who said this but they are 10000000% correct. Why should someone who has nothing to say be forced into saying something because the chatterboxes around us feel uncomfortable when we are not saying anything?
The ironic thing is that, introverts are uncomfortable when someone around them is speaking at 1000 miles an hour. But that's OK because they are talking.
For some reason, we value noise pollution more than we value silence. Why is that?
We live in an extroverted world, don't we? I don't think we can change that but we can make people (especially the talkative ones) aware that not everyone is the same and not everyone wants to listen to your bullshit.
In the above link there is a very interesting quote. Let me write it out for you:
"I am not quiet, at all, or shy. I just don't feel like I have anything substantive to contribute at this time so I'm abstaining from polluting the environment with pointless noise emanating from my mouth. I wish everyone would do the same."
I'm not sure who said this but they are 10000000% correct. Why should someone who has nothing to say be forced into saying something because the chatterboxes around us feel uncomfortable when we are not saying anything?
The ironic thing is that, introverts are uncomfortable when someone around them is speaking at 1000 miles an hour. But that's OK because they are talking.
For some reason, we value noise pollution more than we value silence. Why is that?
We live in an extroverted world, don't we? I don't think we can change that but we can make people (especially the talkative ones) aware that not everyone is the same and not everyone wants to listen to your bullshit.
Monday, 4 June 2018
Never Give Up or Never Give In? It doesn't matter. It still is the same message.
It is said that former UK prime minister, Winston Churchill got up one day to give a speech and told everyone to "Never, Never, Never give up."
Whether this is true or not, I'm not sure, apparently is it not. Apparently he spoke for about 20 minutes and said the following:
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense."
Whether Winston Churchill said "in" or "up" is irrelevant. What we can get from this is don't ever give up on your dreams and of the things that you know to be right.
When you know in your mind and in your heart and in your gut that it is the right thing to do, don't give up on it even if the odds seem to be against you. Don't give up!
I know I am not going to.
Sunday, 3 June 2018
IS IT BETTER TO BE COLD?
A few years ago, I read a book by Tim Ferriss called The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman.
First of all, he knows how to market it doesn't he? Weight loss, Sex, Superhuman! Who wouldn't want to read this book? I know I did. (A couple of times.)
One of the things I got out of the book was the idea of the ice bath. You fill your bathtub with cold water, throw some ice in the water and get in for 20 minutes. For some people reading that, it sounds like torture, right? I tried it a few times and it wasn't too bad. I think the problem was that I didn't have enough ice in the bath so even though the water was cold it wasn't ice cold. Also, it wasn't very pleasant.
My friend says that you should try something that you intend to do for the rest of your life. For example, don't just go on a diet that you will follow for two weeks, you should try and do something that is sustainable for the rest of your life. So maybe 20 minute ice baths were not the best but what I have discovered this week is that cold showers are the thing now.
So this week I started taking cold showers, both in the morning and after my gym sessions. So far I have had 12 cold showers and I tell you the first couple were pretty difficult. The word torture comes to mind but I managed to get through and the initial few seconds is the worst but after that it is pretty easy.
I've found out that there are some benefits to cold showers (which I think are harder than an ice bath):
1. It wakes you up. Imagine jumping into a freezing cold pond first thing in the morning. You are going to be wide awake. Same thing.
2. It is good for your skin and hair. I'm not sure about my skin yet but I have noticed even after only 12 times that my usually dry hair is not so dry anymore and it feels a lot more smoother than normal.
3. Good for weight loss. We shall see but I can sort of understand the science behind it.
4. Accelerates muscle soreness and recovery. Professional athletes talk about having an ice bath after a game. Hydrotherapy and all that. They seem to be still doing it so it must work although in saying that, I was sore all last week from working out at the gym. Cold showers did not work at all.
This might not be for everyone but I do suggest to give it go. You never what you might find out about yourself.
First of all, he knows how to market it doesn't he? Weight loss, Sex, Superhuman! Who wouldn't want to read this book? I know I did. (A couple of times.)
One of the things I got out of the book was the idea of the ice bath. You fill your bathtub with cold water, throw some ice in the water and get in for 20 minutes. For some people reading that, it sounds like torture, right? I tried it a few times and it wasn't too bad. I think the problem was that I didn't have enough ice in the bath so even though the water was cold it wasn't ice cold. Also, it wasn't very pleasant.
My friend says that you should try something that you intend to do for the rest of your life. For example, don't just go on a diet that you will follow for two weeks, you should try and do something that is sustainable for the rest of your life. So maybe 20 minute ice baths were not the best but what I have discovered this week is that cold showers are the thing now.
So this week I started taking cold showers, both in the morning and after my gym sessions. So far I have had 12 cold showers and I tell you the first couple were pretty difficult. The word torture comes to mind but I managed to get through and the initial few seconds is the worst but after that it is pretty easy.
I've found out that there are some benefits to cold showers (which I think are harder than an ice bath):
1. It wakes you up. Imagine jumping into a freezing cold pond first thing in the morning. You are going to be wide awake. Same thing.
2. It is good for your skin and hair. I'm not sure about my skin yet but I have noticed even after only 12 times that my usually dry hair is not so dry anymore and it feels a lot more smoother than normal.
3. Good for weight loss. We shall see but I can sort of understand the science behind it.
4. Accelerates muscle soreness and recovery. Professional athletes talk about having an ice bath after a game. Hydrotherapy and all that. They seem to be still doing it so it must work although in saying that, I was sore all last week from working out at the gym. Cold showers did not work at all.
This might not be for everyone but I do suggest to give it go. You never what you might find out about yourself.
Saturday, 2 June 2018
THESE ARE THINGS INTROVERTS WANT YOU TO KNOW
Dear Extroverted people,
Here are some things that us, introverts want you to know.
1. We don't need to be around people all the time. We do need time to ourselves.
2. Just because I am not saying anything doesn't mean I'm bored. Who says that I should be yelling from the rooftops and shouting in your ear to prove that I am enjoying myself?
3. I'm not anti-social. I will go out with you when the time is right and when there is a reason and Dear Mr./Ms. Extrovert, because it is Friday does not make it a reason. Am I clear?
4. Going to a party is not my go to when I want to socialise. Dancing and boozing with 300 of my "closest" friends is not my way of enjoying myself I am sorry to say. You go to the party. You go and dance and rule the floor. I'll see you tomorrow.
5. Introverts hate to be interrupted. Hey! It has taken us a lot to step outside out comfort zone and talk and you have the gall to interrupt us. No wonder us introverts forget what we are going to say after you have had yours (in the middle of ours).
6. Introverts are not shy...... PERIOD.
7. Extroverts, we take a little longer than "normal" to enter a conversation. Be patient for god sake. Just because we are not bullshitting at 100 miles an hour doesn't mean we have nothing worthwhile to say.
8. Silence does not equal depression. Far from it. We just have nothing to say. Is that OK? Or are you desperate for the introverts to say something until we say something un-PC and you guys get all defensive and uncomfortable. It's your fault.
Please remember these things when you are talking to an introvert. And shut up too. You might actually learn something.
Here are some things that us, introverts want you to know.
1. We don't need to be around people all the time. We do need time to ourselves.
2. Just because I am not saying anything doesn't mean I'm bored. Who says that I should be yelling from the rooftops and shouting in your ear to prove that I am enjoying myself?
3. I'm not anti-social. I will go out with you when the time is right and when there is a reason and Dear Mr./Ms. Extrovert, because it is Friday does not make it a reason. Am I clear?
4. Going to a party is not my go to when I want to socialise. Dancing and boozing with 300 of my "closest" friends is not my way of enjoying myself I am sorry to say. You go to the party. You go and dance and rule the floor. I'll see you tomorrow.
5. Introverts hate to be interrupted. Hey! It has taken us a lot to step outside out comfort zone and talk and you have the gall to interrupt us. No wonder us introverts forget what we are going to say after you have had yours (in the middle of ours).
6. Introverts are not shy...... PERIOD.
7. Extroverts, we take a little longer than "normal" to enter a conversation. Be patient for god sake. Just because we are not bullshitting at 100 miles an hour doesn't mean we have nothing worthwhile to say.
8. Silence does not equal depression. Far from it. We just have nothing to say. Is that OK? Or are you desperate for the introverts to say something until we say something un-PC and you guys get all defensive and uncomfortable. It's your fault.
Please remember these things when you are talking to an introvert. And shut up too. You might actually learn something.
Friday, 1 June 2018
Things that Introverts hate to hear
If you identify yourself as being an introvert, there is probably a number of things that you have heard of a regular basis. Lets go through some of them now:
"You're so quiet."
This is one thing that really gets my goat. Some people, usually extroverts expect other people to be talking all the time. They expect scintillating conversation about some boring topic that is cool but doesn't advance the intellectual capabilities of either party so when an introvert doesn't have anything to say about the Kardashians, they are considered quiet.
"Why don't you ever want to go out?"
When people suggest going out on a Friday or Saturday night, it is usually to a noisy bar or nightclub where people shout at each other and have those annoying small talks that introverts love so much. (Note the sarcasm.) Extroverts just don't understand that introverts can't handle all of these stimulation. It is too much. They are drained of energy very quickly.
"You're just shy."
Not talking much does not equal shy. Not talking much means that he or she has nothing to say. They can't contribute to the conversation very well at all. When I went to the bar or nightclub I was told that I was shy. I wouldn't approach women. What the problem was I could't hear what the woman was saying. The environment was so stimulating that it was just not a good situation for me and also the fact that I couldn't bullshit (small talk) meant that my success rate at those places was minimal.
"Why do you spend so much time alone?"
Introvertism 101 = introverts energise by either being alone or with one other person or in a small group. Any other questions?
"You should socialise more."
By socialise, you mean what? Believe it or not, everyone is different on this piece of rock hurtling through space at 107,000 km/h. What does socialise mean? With social media we can all socialise by using those different apps now. For example, interacting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, hey even Tinder and Bumble. Also, socialising doesn't mean meeting up at the local bar for a few brews with some mates. For some people that might mean socialise but for introverts it can mean having two of their closest friends over for dinner. That's socialising, isn't it? Or do you need to be a loud venue with 500 people?
"Are you ok? Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm ok. Are you ok?"
I don't get this one. Just because you are not spending you entire life talking the ear off the people around you. It doesn't mean that you are sick or ill or bad in any way.
As they say, Silence is Golden.
"You're so quiet."
This is one thing that really gets my goat. Some people, usually extroverts expect other people to be talking all the time. They expect scintillating conversation about some boring topic that is cool but doesn't advance the intellectual capabilities of either party so when an introvert doesn't have anything to say about the Kardashians, they are considered quiet.
"Why don't you ever want to go out?"
When people suggest going out on a Friday or Saturday night, it is usually to a noisy bar or nightclub where people shout at each other and have those annoying small talks that introverts love so much. (Note the sarcasm.) Extroverts just don't understand that introverts can't handle all of these stimulation. It is too much. They are drained of energy very quickly.
"You're just shy."
Not talking much does not equal shy. Not talking much means that he or she has nothing to say. They can't contribute to the conversation very well at all. When I went to the bar or nightclub I was told that I was shy. I wouldn't approach women. What the problem was I could't hear what the woman was saying. The environment was so stimulating that it was just not a good situation for me and also the fact that I couldn't bullshit (small talk) meant that my success rate at those places was minimal.
"Why do you spend so much time alone?"
Introvertism 101 = introverts energise by either being alone or with one other person or in a small group. Any other questions?
"You should socialise more."
By socialise, you mean what? Believe it or not, everyone is different on this piece of rock hurtling through space at 107,000 km/h. What does socialise mean? With social media we can all socialise by using those different apps now. For example, interacting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, hey even Tinder and Bumble. Also, socialising doesn't mean meeting up at the local bar for a few brews with some mates. For some people that might mean socialise but for introverts it can mean having two of their closest friends over for dinner. That's socialising, isn't it? Or do you need to be a loud venue with 500 people?
"Are you ok? Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm ok. Are you ok?"
I don't get this one. Just because you are not spending you entire life talking the ear off the people around you. It doesn't mean that you are sick or ill or bad in any way.
As they say, Silence is Golden.
Thursday, 31 May 2018
HOROSCOPES?????
How many of you have read your horoscope in the newspaper or wherever?
I know some of you are probably a bit embarrassed by admitting that. I mean sometimes the horoscope say something like:
"You will go to the toilet today. You will also drink water."
"Oh my god" you think to yourself, "that is exactly what happened to me today. It's true." This is until you take a second look at what you just read and realise what is obvious.
However, I'm not here to pour scorn on horoscopes. I'm here to talk about why there seems to be a connection between Introverts and Virgos. Why is this? I don't get it.
I am a Virgo. My mother is also a Virgo. I would classify us as both introverts. Is this a coincidence or is there something in it? Lets have a look.
From my "research" Virgos are considered perfectionists. (I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist but you should see my mother's house. Not a hair out of place, so to speak.)
Virgos are considered intellectual (I'm talking men here) and they are generally kind and have a good sense of humour. (Shit! I'm talking about myself here.)
For any women reading this out there, if you attract the attention of a Virgo male, you are damm lucky (I'm not saying this because I'm a Virgo. It is just what I read.). He has taken his time and he knows that he really wants you. It isn't just a one night fling. It is for real. So be prepared.
I can imagine that with introverts. They don't have the social energy to go out and date multitudes of women (there are exceptions though). They will pick someone they fancy and if everyone is lucky, they have a connection.
Talking abut connections, that brings me back to the original question.
Is there a connection between introverts and Virgos?
My scientific answer is that I don't know. However, with most stereotypes, it must have come from somewhere. All I can say if you meet someone who is really into you, then you are very lucky and don't take it for granted because if you are sloppy, they could be gone forever.
I know some of you are probably a bit embarrassed by admitting that. I mean sometimes the horoscope say something like:
"You will go to the toilet today. You will also drink water."
"Oh my god" you think to yourself, "that is exactly what happened to me today. It's true." This is until you take a second look at what you just read and realise what is obvious.
However, I'm not here to pour scorn on horoscopes. I'm here to talk about why there seems to be a connection between Introverts and Virgos. Why is this? I don't get it.
I am a Virgo. My mother is also a Virgo. I would classify us as both introverts. Is this a coincidence or is there something in it? Lets have a look.
From my "research" Virgos are considered perfectionists. (I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist but you should see my mother's house. Not a hair out of place, so to speak.)
Virgos are considered intellectual (I'm talking men here) and they are generally kind and have a good sense of humour. (Shit! I'm talking about myself here.)
For any women reading this out there, if you attract the attention of a Virgo male, you are damm lucky (I'm not saying this because I'm a Virgo. It is just what I read.). He has taken his time and he knows that he really wants you. It isn't just a one night fling. It is for real. So be prepared.
I can imagine that with introverts. They don't have the social energy to go out and date multitudes of women (there are exceptions though). They will pick someone they fancy and if everyone is lucky, they have a connection.
Talking abut connections, that brings me back to the original question.
Is there a connection between introverts and Virgos?
My scientific answer is that I don't know. However, with most stereotypes, it must have come from somewhere. All I can say if you meet someone who is really into you, then you are very lucky and don't take it for granted because if you are sloppy, they could be gone forever.
Tuesday, 29 May 2018
AN INTROVERT'S HOBBIES?
I saw an interesting meme the other day about an introvert's hobbies and I thought that I would analyse it to see if it is true for me and probably of other introverts out there.
First of all, let me introduce the URL so you know what I am talking about:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjQ5fDoBQ_s/?taken-by=cap.city.introvert
Lets have a look at these four things:
1. Switching between the same three apps for hours
Oh yes! I can totally relate to this. Unlike some people who seem to have thousands of apps on their phones, I have very few but the ones that I do use get a thorough airing. It is interesting when you think of the 80/20 principle and this even applies to the use of apps as well. You use 20% of your apps, 80% of the time.
2. Not speaking to anyone for days at a time
Oh yes! I can do this easily. Saying "thank you" to the food delivery people doesn't count, right? I'm not sure what my record is but I think that it could be more than a week.
3. Listening to the same songs I have been listening to for 20 years.
Oh yes! I have one question, what's wrong with that? Music is totally subjective. What one person loves, one person hates. I'm listening to Pitbull as I write this. Some of you are probably thinking what a loser. Whatever.
4. Imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
Oh yes! Guilty as charged. But, you never know, you might manifest some of these into reality if you believe it enough and you do the work to allow it the chance to happen. So, why not dream big?
First of all, let me introduce the URL so you know what I am talking about:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjQ5fDoBQ_s/?taken-by=cap.city.introvert
Lets have a look at these four things:
1. Switching between the same three apps for hours
Oh yes! I can totally relate to this. Unlike some people who seem to have thousands of apps on their phones, I have very few but the ones that I do use get a thorough airing. It is interesting when you think of the 80/20 principle and this even applies to the use of apps as well. You use 20% of your apps, 80% of the time.
2. Not speaking to anyone for days at a time
Oh yes! I can do this easily. Saying "thank you" to the food delivery people doesn't count, right? I'm not sure what my record is but I think that it could be more than a week.
3. Listening to the same songs I have been listening to for 20 years.
Oh yes! I have one question, what's wrong with that? Music is totally subjective. What one person loves, one person hates. I'm listening to Pitbull as I write this. Some of you are probably thinking what a loser. Whatever.
4. Imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
Oh yes! Guilty as charged. But, you never know, you might manifest some of these into reality if you believe it enough and you do the work to allow it the chance to happen. So, why not dream big?
Monday, 28 May 2018
SWEET HOME ........ PALMERSTON NORTH
Today, I'm going off the topic of introvert/extrovert and paying homage to my home town of Palmerston North, New Zealand. Enjoy the song and play the video to understand the lyrics.
Big wind keeps on blowing
Flying me home to eat my din'.
Singing songs about the hinterland
I miss old Palmy once again and I think about it with a grin
Well I heard Mister Cleese talk about her
Well I heard ole Basil put her down
Well I hope John Cleese will remember
A Manawatu man don't need him around anyhow
Sweet home Palmerston North
Where the skies are so ....... true
Sweet home Palmerston North
Lord (oh Lord) I'm coming home to you
In Massey University they love the vice-Chancellor, boo-hoo-hoo
Now we all studied a paper or two
What's his name doesn't bother me
But did you do it? Tell the truth
Sweet home Palmerston North
Where the skies are so ....... true
Sweet home Palmerston North
Lord (oh Lord) I'm coming home to you, here to have fun
Now Kelvin Grove has got Toyota
And they've been known to build a car or two (yes they do)
Lord they drive me around so much
They pick me up when I threw, now to have a few
Sweet home Palmerston North
Where the skies are so ....... true
Sweet home Palmerston North
Lord (oh Lord) I'm coming home to you
Sweet home Palmerston North, oh sweet home
Where the skies are so ....... true and the Lido's blue
Sweet home Palmerston North
Lord (oh Lord) I'm coming home to you
Big wind keeps on blowing
Flying me home to eat my din'.
Singing songs about the hinterland
I miss old Palmy once again and I think about it with a grin
Well I heard Mister Cleese talk about her
Well I heard ole Basil put her down
Well I hope John Cleese will remember
A Manawatu man don't need him around anyhow
Sweet home Palmerston North
Where the skies are so ....... true
Sweet home Palmerston North
Lord (oh Lord) I'm coming home to you
In Massey University they love the vice-Chancellor, boo-hoo-hoo
Now we all studied a paper or two
What's his name doesn't bother me
But did you do it? Tell the truth
Sweet home Palmerston North
Where the skies are so ....... true
Sweet home Palmerston North
Lord (oh Lord) I'm coming home to you, here to have fun
Now Kelvin Grove has got Toyota
And they've been known to build a car or two (yes they do)
Lord they drive me around so much
They pick me up when I threw, now to have a few
Sweet home Palmerston North
Where the skies are so ....... true
Sweet home Palmerston North
Lord (oh Lord) I'm coming home to you
Sweet home Palmerston North, oh sweet home
Where the skies are so ....... true and the Lido's blue
Sweet home Palmerston North
Lord (oh Lord) I'm coming home to you
Sunday, 27 May 2018
Sports teams and the Introverts
A friend of mine has started working for a professional sporting team. Wherever the team goes he goes with them and he is enjoying all of the trappings of professional sports, the buffets, the free tickets, the nice hotels and just generally hanging out with professional sports people on a day to day basis. (He hasn't said anything about the groupies but maybe his wife is reading this so I better stop with that theme.)
It has got me thinking, would I like this job? It sounds like the dream job for someone who likes sports. Following a team around. Seeing the operation from the inside. Learning new things about the sport and the how it is run as a business. It sounds pretty cool doesn't it?
(By the way, I do know that this photo is not from a professional football game. I think it is from a college game. Don't know which college though.)
My one concern would be if I did it is, how much "alone" time would I get? Would I be able to retreat to my room every night and just be myself or would I have to eat dinner with the team and hang out with the team members when I'm away on a road game? As we all know, introverts need their alone time to recharge, would you get much of that?
The point today is that sometimes even if the job sounds like your dream job, it might not necessarily fit your personality and the dream could turn into a nightmare. Really think about it before accepting anything. Does the job require a lot of socialising after normal working hours? Does the job require going out on the golf course or tennis court on your Saturdays and Sundays? Does it require touring around with a big group of people?
My friend is loving it and I hope that he can continue loving it for a few more seasons yet. I hope that you love what you do.
It has got me thinking, would I like this job? It sounds like the dream job for someone who likes sports. Following a team around. Seeing the operation from the inside. Learning new things about the sport and the how it is run as a business. It sounds pretty cool doesn't it?
My one concern would be if I did it is, how much "alone" time would I get? Would I be able to retreat to my room every night and just be myself or would I have to eat dinner with the team and hang out with the team members when I'm away on a road game? As we all know, introverts need their alone time to recharge, would you get much of that?
The point today is that sometimes even if the job sounds like your dream job, it might not necessarily fit your personality and the dream could turn into a nightmare. Really think about it before accepting anything. Does the job require a lot of socialising after normal working hours? Does the job require going out on the golf course or tennis court on your Saturdays and Sundays? Does it require touring around with a big group of people?
My friend is loving it and I hope that he can continue loving it for a few more seasons yet. I hope that you love what you do.
Friday, 25 May 2018
Plans changed at the last minute.
Today's post is for the guy's. So ladies out there, you can either tune out or read something and learn about yourself that you might not really know and if you do know this then you are cruel.
You are probably wondering why there is a picture of a chocolate bar. Well, this is one of my favourite chocolate bars, the Flake. It is so good. Please buy some if you don't believe me.
So, lets go back to the photo, why is there a picture of a Flake, well, it is because people flake on you. This means that they will cancel plans that they had with you at the last minute with some weird reason.
Why do they do this? Because when they said yes to your invitation, they didn't really want to say yes, it was just safer to say yes than to have an awkward moment. This is really selfish on their account of the person who is the flaker. Usually they do it out of insecurity.
Flaking can be really frustrating for the flakee.
In my experience, women do this to men all the time thinking that if they say yes and flake then they are not really been mean but in fact they are been the worst kind. They are being really cruel and I can tell you from experience that it does not feel good because as a guy you may have had prepared a cool date. You might have made reservations that you have to pay a deposit for and you can't get back if you cancel.
What can you do about it?
I suppose the best thing is to not get angry. Anticipate that this might happen and have a backup plan so that the day or night is not a total loss. Also chalk it up to one of life's experiences.
You are probably wondering why there is a picture of a chocolate bar. Well, this is one of my favourite chocolate bars, the Flake. It is so good. Please buy some if you don't believe me.
So, lets go back to the photo, why is there a picture of a Flake, well, it is because people flake on you. This means that they will cancel plans that they had with you at the last minute with some weird reason.
Why do they do this? Because when they said yes to your invitation, they didn't really want to say yes, it was just safer to say yes than to have an awkward moment. This is really selfish on their account of the person who is the flaker. Usually they do it out of insecurity.
Flaking can be really frustrating for the flakee.
In my experience, women do this to men all the time thinking that if they say yes and flake then they are not really been mean but in fact they are been the worst kind. They are being really cruel and I can tell you from experience that it does not feel good because as a guy you may have had prepared a cool date. You might have made reservations that you have to pay a deposit for and you can't get back if you cancel.
What can you do about it?
I suppose the best thing is to not get angry. Anticipate that this might happen and have a backup plan so that the day or night is not a total loss. Also chalk it up to one of life's experiences.
Tuesday, 22 May 2018
IS THIS AN INTROVERTED JOB?
I read a profile the other day about business consultant, Ram Charan. What I read I had to take with a grain a salt. Well, not really a grain of salt, more like the whole salt shaker. Anyway, it said that he doesn't have a house, basically he lives in airports and hotels. That could be possible I suppose but it also says that he travels 250,000 miles a week. That's where you have to be careful about what you read. So basically he travels 10 times around the world every week and if there is 168 hours in a week and he travels 250,000 miles then he is travelling 1500 miles every hour which you have probably worked out already is impossible. I think that that was a typo and it was 250,000 miles a year.
After reading this short little profile, it reminded me of this movie:
Have you seen this one? It is a George Clooney movie from 2009 called 'Up in the Air.' George Clooney plays a guy who works for a HR consultancy in Omaha, Nebraska. He basically travels all over the United States of America firing people for a living.
In the movie George Clooney's character "lives" in Omaha but he says that he spent only 43 days there in the previous year. So he was on the road for 323 days (I think it was a leap year) living in hotels, travelling first class and enjoying the hospitality of the airport lounges.
What do you think? Could you live this kind of lifestyle? Travelling from city to city, not being in the same city two days in a row. Not really developing relationships and being by yourself everyday and every night.
This sounds like introvert heaven, doesn't it? Well, yes and no. If you are someone who doesn't want to develop meaningful relationships then that kind of lifestyle is definitely for you, however I believe that most people do, so maybe this kind of life is better for an extrovert who can probably strike up conversations with people around them and find things to do.
How you deal with lonesomeness is the key to this kind of lifestyle and an introverted person could easily lock themselves away and not talk to anyone outside their work related activities and that could be a disastrous thing for him or her.
Please remember that for introverts it isn't all about being being alone. It isn't all about being at home by him or herself watching a movie on Netflix. Introverts still like the idea of being with their significant other. They still want to spend time with him or her either talking or eating or even just being.
I must admit though that the traveling lifestyle does have some appeal to me and I wonder how long I would last before I go crazy. I do enjoy some of my routine like going to the gym and visiting the same places for socialising. Hmmm, something to think about it.
If you have a chance, have a look at this movie and see how it applies to you and your circumstances.
After reading this short little profile, it reminded me of this movie:
Have you seen this one? It is a George Clooney movie from 2009 called 'Up in the Air.' George Clooney plays a guy who works for a HR consultancy in Omaha, Nebraska. He basically travels all over the United States of America firing people for a living.
In the movie George Clooney's character "lives" in Omaha but he says that he spent only 43 days there in the previous year. So he was on the road for 323 days (I think it was a leap year) living in hotels, travelling first class and enjoying the hospitality of the airport lounges.
What do you think? Could you live this kind of lifestyle? Travelling from city to city, not being in the same city two days in a row. Not really developing relationships and being by yourself everyday and every night.
This sounds like introvert heaven, doesn't it? Well, yes and no. If you are someone who doesn't want to develop meaningful relationships then that kind of lifestyle is definitely for you, however I believe that most people do, so maybe this kind of life is better for an extrovert who can probably strike up conversations with people around them and find things to do.
How you deal with lonesomeness is the key to this kind of lifestyle and an introverted person could easily lock themselves away and not talk to anyone outside their work related activities and that could be a disastrous thing for him or her.
Please remember that for introverts it isn't all about being being alone. It isn't all about being at home by him or herself watching a movie on Netflix. Introverts still like the idea of being with their significant other. They still want to spend time with him or her either talking or eating or even just being.
I must admit though that the traveling lifestyle does have some appeal to me and I wonder how long I would last before I go crazy. I do enjoy some of my routine like going to the gym and visiting the same places for socialising. Hmmm, something to think about it.
If you have a chance, have a look at this movie and see how it applies to you and your circumstances.
Sunday, 20 May 2018
GIVE AN INTROVERT A FEW DAYS TO PROCESS YOUR REQUEST
I saw the following meme the other day:
https://me.me/i/when-someone-asks-to-go-out-the-night-of-without-17536566
It shows a lady who looks pretty indignant and the caption is:
"When someone asks to go out the night of, without allowing 3 business days for mental preparation."
That begs the question, why are introverts not very spontaneous?
Well, it says it all in the meme, we do need preparation time. We need time to psyche ourselves up because, please remember that you are taking us out of our natural environment. You know, at home either by ourselves or with our significant others, cooking dinner, sleeping or even netflixing and chilling.
Believe it or not when an introvert says they are doing nothing, it means that that is what they have planned and they have been looking forward to it all day and possibly all week. So, when you suddenly ask an introvert out, they are going to have trouble with that. They are simply not prepared. I'm not joking when I say that.
If you recognise your friend as an introvert, allow them a few days to process your request and don't take it personally if they say "no."
Remember that they will go. They like going out as much as you do, just not as often.
But, dear extroverts, do not, let me repeat that, do not make them feeling guilty for turning down your request. They are not doing it to be anti-social. They are not doing it because they don't like you. They are doing (or not doing it) it because they, for that moment in time are being true to themselves. Let that introvert be. Just let them be what they are.
https://me.me/i/when-someone-asks-to-go-out-the-night-of-without-17536566
It shows a lady who looks pretty indignant and the caption is:
"When someone asks to go out the night of, without allowing 3 business days for mental preparation."
That begs the question, why are introverts not very spontaneous?
Well, it says it all in the meme, we do need preparation time. We need time to psyche ourselves up because, please remember that you are taking us out of our natural environment. You know, at home either by ourselves or with our significant others, cooking dinner, sleeping or even netflixing and chilling.
Believe it or not when an introvert says they are doing nothing, it means that that is what they have planned and they have been looking forward to it all day and possibly all week. So, when you suddenly ask an introvert out, they are going to have trouble with that. They are simply not prepared. I'm not joking when I say that.
If you recognise your friend as an introvert, allow them a few days to process your request and don't take it personally if they say "no."
Remember that they will go. They like going out as much as you do, just not as often.
But, dear extroverts, do not, let me repeat that, do not make them feeling guilty for turning down your request. They are not doing it to be anti-social. They are not doing it because they don't like you. They are doing (or not doing it) it because they, for that moment in time are being true to themselves. Let that introvert be. Just let them be what they are.
Saturday, 19 May 2018
Are you 9 to 5?
Regular readers will notice that I haven't posted anything for a few days. I apologise for that. Lets just say that I have been a little lazy.
They say that success happens outside the hours of 9am to 5pm. They say that what you do outside of those hours will go long way to how much money you will have in your life and how much success will come your way.
The past week I have been working from 9am to 6.30pm and basically talking for that entire time. As you can probably imagine, by the time I get back to my hotel I am absolutely knackered that all I can do is get something to eat, maybe watch a movie and fall asleep to do it all over again the next day.
I have neglected this blog and I have neglected other things that I like to do on a daily basis and as far as I am concerned, it is not good enough.
We know that a lot of people work their 9 to 5. They go home. They eat dinner. They watch television until they can't hold their eyes open anymore and they go to sleep and wake and do it again.
That kind of lifestyle is not good enough for me. I don't think it is good enough for anyone.
Maybe you can't burn the candle at both ends but you should be able to pick a time, either before work or after work to work on yourself. To write that blog post, to do those push ups, to do that meditation, to visualise your future, to chant your affirmations, to write a journal, to work on your side business that you want to take full time in the near future.
Don't waste your time. Treasure it. It is precious. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet. Do as you wish but make it valuable. Make it noteworthy.
MAKE IT GREAT!!!
They say that success happens outside the hours of 9am to 5pm. They say that what you do outside of those hours will go long way to how much money you will have in your life and how much success will come your way.
The past week I have been working from 9am to 6.30pm and basically talking for that entire time. As you can probably imagine, by the time I get back to my hotel I am absolutely knackered that all I can do is get something to eat, maybe watch a movie and fall asleep to do it all over again the next day.
I have neglected this blog and I have neglected other things that I like to do on a daily basis and as far as I am concerned, it is not good enough.
We know that a lot of people work their 9 to 5. They go home. They eat dinner. They watch television until they can't hold their eyes open anymore and they go to sleep and wake and do it again.
That kind of lifestyle is not good enough for me. I don't think it is good enough for anyone.
Maybe you can't burn the candle at both ends but you should be able to pick a time, either before work or after work to work on yourself. To write that blog post, to do those push ups, to do that meditation, to visualise your future, to chant your affirmations, to write a journal, to work on your side business that you want to take full time in the near future.
Don't waste your time. Treasure it. It is precious. We only have a finite amount of time on this planet. Do as you wish but make it valuable. Make it noteworthy.
MAKE IT GREAT!!!
Monday, 14 May 2018
Another Introvert 101
Just because an introvert likes to be alone it doesn't mean that he or she wants to be alone all the time.
Introverts like to be intimate with their significant other. They like to spend quality time with he or she.
So, just because the introvert doesn't want to go out with you on a Friday night doesn't mean they are being anti-social, it just means that they are conserving their energy and they might be ready the next time so don't stop asking them.
Introverts like to be intimate with their significant other. They like to spend quality time with he or she.
So, just because the introvert doesn't want to go out with you on a Friday night doesn't mean they are being anti-social, it just means that they are conserving their energy and they might be ready the next time so don't stop asking them.
Friday, 11 May 2018
Are people who are not on social media, weirdos?
I read this article today. I found it very interesting especially the "being relevant" part.
This article was written by a 17 year old and without trying to sound condescending, it shows maturity way beyond his years. Lets just say that I wish that I had that kind of maturity when I was 17.
Basically the article is about the young man deleting all of his social media. Whether he deleted the app from his phone or he deleted all of his accounts, outright, I am not sure but in 2018 I believe that kind of action shows a lot of balls.
He says that his "friends" look at him as a loser and that he is weird because he has decided to break away from the herd and not do what everyone else is doing.
This reminds me of a quote. I've seen it attributed to Jim Carrey but I'm not 100% sure:
"I saw a guy at Starbucks today. He had no smartphone, tablet, or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath."
I know that this quote is taking the mickey about people like that and I know that I am one of those kind of people. I can't just sit there and enjoy my coffee or whatever I am drinking. I have to be always connected.
This begs the question, why do we always have to know what our friends have had for breakfast or what cocktails they consumed the day before? (Instagram)
We waste a lot of time on social media when we don't need to. We really need to get out and meet people in the real world.
What is that people say and joke about? They only post things that show them in the best light. They never post photos of them sitting in a mess on the bedroom floor.
Don't hide behind your screen thinking that you are being social. Guess what? You are not being social. Get up! Get outside! Hell! Get laid even (if you are that way inclined).
Just in case you are wondering, I have now deleted Facebook, Instagram and Twitter from my phone. I haven't deleted the accounts. I can still access them on my laptop. It just means that I can focus on other things when I am sitting on the train, maybe even talk to someone sitting next to me. (They might think I am weird but who cares? That is their thinking, not mine.)
This article was written by a 17 year old and without trying to sound condescending, it shows maturity way beyond his years. Lets just say that I wish that I had that kind of maturity when I was 17.
Basically the article is about the young man deleting all of his social media. Whether he deleted the app from his phone or he deleted all of his accounts, outright, I am not sure but in 2018 I believe that kind of action shows a lot of balls.
He says that his "friends" look at him as a loser and that he is weird because he has decided to break away from the herd and not do what everyone else is doing.
This reminds me of a quote. I've seen it attributed to Jim Carrey but I'm not 100% sure:
"I saw a guy at Starbucks today. He had no smartphone, tablet, or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath."
I know that this quote is taking the mickey about people like that and I know that I am one of those kind of people. I can't just sit there and enjoy my coffee or whatever I am drinking. I have to be always connected.
This begs the question, why do we always have to know what our friends have had for breakfast or what cocktails they consumed the day before? (Instagram)
We waste a lot of time on social media when we don't need to. We really need to get out and meet people in the real world.
What is that people say and joke about? They only post things that show them in the best light. They never post photos of them sitting in a mess on the bedroom floor.
Don't hide behind your screen thinking that you are being social. Guess what? You are not being social. Get up! Get outside! Hell! Get laid even (if you are that way inclined).
Just in case you are wondering, I have now deleted Facebook, Instagram and Twitter from my phone. I haven't deleted the accounts. I can still access them on my laptop. It just means that I can focus on other things when I am sitting on the train, maybe even talk to someone sitting next to me. (They might think I am weird but who cares? That is their thinking, not mine.)
Wednesday, 9 May 2018
IS IT PATRIOTISM OR IS IT HATRED? 愛国心？嫌外国心？
Recently in the rugby union world one of the big stories in Australasia at least is of the off-field sort which has caused a lot of controversy.
Israel Folau is a star in three different types of football in Australia, rugby union, rugby league and AFL (Aussie Rules).
He has just recently married one of the stars of New Zealand sport, Maria Tuta'ia.
A few weeks ago, lets say that Israel Folau "divided" opinion by saying that he believed that gay people should go to hell. He suggested because of his christian upbringing that he was taught to think like that.
This divided opinion in that some believed he had the right to express any opinion because he lives in Australia which has free speech while others suggested that it was hate speech and that people who are gay are not gay by choice. You can't control who you are attracted to.
For the record, I am with the side of people who support the gay community as I realise that it is out of the individual's control but I don't believe that it is hate speech. I just think that Folau is a little misguided and should listen to Sir Michael Jones.
I live in Tokyo, Japan and it seems every Sunday I get woken up by "protests" by right wing nationalists. I used to live next to the Russian embassy and now I live next door to the American embassy and as you may expect, those two countries are targets of the right wingers.
I don't have a problem with the person's right to protest, in fact in some cases I wish that both New Zealand and Japan would do it more, like the French. It seems that French people protest at a drop of a hat or am I just stereotyping?
The problem I have with these right wingers is their aggressive hatred of the foreign countries especially China, North and South Korea, Russia and America.
As I said, I have no problem with protesting but when it comes to hatred, that is where I draw the line.
The Japanese word for patriotism is 愛国心 (aikokushin). Lets have a closer look at these characters. The first character (愛) means love. The second character (国) means country while the last character, (心) means heart or spirit. So patriotism in Japanese literally means the spirit of love for one's country.
Lets look at this word again, LOVE, COUNTRY etc. Why does patriotism mean to most people to hate other countries? Why have these people turn this around? I don't get it. It is not 嫌外国心(hate foreign country spirit. This is a word that I made up.). It is 愛国心. By all means promote and love the things that make this country great, but what is the point in abusing and yelling and waking us all up under the ruse of 愛国心?
It is all very well having your own opinions and that is great but if you are going to spread hate because of it, that is ridiculous
Don't hide behind the Bible or don't hide behind patriotism. As Sir Michael Jones said look at it through love and respect and guess what, you will get love and respect back。
Israel Folau is a star in three different types of football in Australia, rugby union, rugby league and AFL (Aussie Rules).
He has just recently married one of the stars of New Zealand sport, Maria Tuta'ia.
A few weeks ago, lets say that Israel Folau "divided" opinion by saying that he believed that gay people should go to hell. He suggested because of his christian upbringing that he was taught to think like that.
This divided opinion in that some believed he had the right to express any opinion because he lives in Australia which has free speech while others suggested that it was hate speech and that people who are gay are not gay by choice. You can't control who you are attracted to.
For the record, I am with the side of people who support the gay community as I realise that it is out of the individual's control but I don't believe that it is hate speech. I just think that Folau is a little misguided and should listen to Sir Michael Jones.
I live in Tokyo, Japan and it seems every Sunday I get woken up by "protests" by right wing nationalists. I used to live next to the Russian embassy and now I live next door to the American embassy and as you may expect, those two countries are targets of the right wingers.
I don't have a problem with the person's right to protest, in fact in some cases I wish that both New Zealand and Japan would do it more, like the French. It seems that French people protest at a drop of a hat or am I just stereotyping?
The problem I have with these right wingers is their aggressive hatred of the foreign countries especially China, North and South Korea, Russia and America.
As I said, I have no problem with protesting but when it comes to hatred, that is where I draw the line.
The Japanese word for patriotism is 愛国心 (aikokushin). Lets have a closer look at these characters. The first character (愛) means love. The second character (国) means country while the last character, (心) means heart or spirit. So patriotism in Japanese literally means the spirit of love for one's country.
Lets look at this word again, LOVE, COUNTRY etc. Why does patriotism mean to most people to hate other countries? Why have these people turn this around? I don't get it. It is not 嫌外国心(hate foreign country spirit. This is a word that I made up.). It is 愛国心. By all means promote and love the things that make this country great, but what is the point in abusing and yelling and waking us all up under the ruse of 愛国心?
It is all very well having your own opinions and that is great but if you are going to spread hate because of it, that is ridiculous
Don't hide behind the Bible or don't hide behind patriotism. As Sir Michael Jones said look at it through love and respect and guess what, you will get love and respect back。
Tuesday, 8 May 2018
F**K IT: LETS DO IT
Have you ever had that "fuck it" moment?
Have you ever had that time in your life when you thought "I'm sick of this shit"?
Have you ever thought to yourself that this whole things "sucks"?
Let me ask you, what did you do about it?
Did you just get stuck in?
Did you, as the logo above suggests "just do it"?
So are you having/had that "fuck this shit" moment?
What are you going to do?
Have you ever had that time in your life when you thought "I'm sick of this shit"?
Have you ever thought to yourself that this whole things "sucks"?
Let me ask you, what did you do about it?
Did you just get stuck in?
Did you, as the logo above suggests "just do it"?
So are you having/had that "fuck this shit" moment?
What are you going to do?
Monday, 7 May 2018
Thank you Mark Twain
Here is a great quote from Mark Twain:
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
It really is an epiphany for many people when they realise why they have been put on this Earth. "OK, I get it now."
Other things in your life you will have that "aha" moment and you will wonder why you haven't realised that before.
My friend had that "aha" moment a few days ago. For the longest time he was really confused about something that affected him big time but he was telling me recently that he realised why and it all made sense and now he doesn't worry about it and everything is getting back together. His life has turned around and it is going forward in a big way.
Sometimes it takes time to work things out but it doesn't mean that you are stupid or an idiot. What it means is that we all accept information in a different time. We all do not have the same timeline. Maybe it has taken you a long time to work it out. That's fine.
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
It really is an epiphany for many people when they realise why they have been put on this Earth. "OK, I get it now."
Other things in your life you will have that "aha" moment and you will wonder why you haven't realised that before.
My friend had that "aha" moment a few days ago. For the longest time he was really confused about something that affected him big time but he was telling me recently that he realised why and it all made sense and now he doesn't worry about it and everything is getting back together. His life has turned around and it is going forward in a big way.
Sometimes it takes time to work things out but it doesn't mean that you are stupid or an idiot. What it means is that we all accept information in a different time. We all do not have the same timeline. Maybe it has taken you a long time to work it out. That's fine.
Sunday, 6 May 2018
SOME QUOTES FOR TODAY
Here are some quotes from what I call the patron saint or even the godfather of introverts, Susan Cain.
Susan Cain's book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that can't stop talking has basically started the introvert movement.
"There's zero correlation between the best talker and having the best ideas."
"Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured .... Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to."
"Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe."
Susan Cain's book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that can't stop talking has basically started the introvert movement.
"There's zero correlation between the best talker and having the best ideas."
"Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured .... Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to."
"Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe."
Saturday, 5 May 2018
READ THE ATMOSPHERE
There is a saying in Japanese, KY.
Now I know people in the west will associate KY with stuff you put on when you are having sex but it is a little different.
KY stands for 空気が読めない. (Kuuki ga Yomenai) Get it? KY. Literally it means "Can't read the air."
I'm sure that we have all been guilty of saying stupid things and inappropriate things when we would have been more served saying nothing. The thing is that most of us realise that we have upset the atmosphere and we can apologise and move on, however, there are some who just don't get it and never will.
I remember about 20 years ago, I was in a bar with people from all over the world. An American, who had just arrived in Japan was shouting that he wanted an American to talk to because he didn't understand anyone. A Canadian took him aside and said that that ugly American style wouldn't go down very well in that gathering. To his credit, the American guy took the Canadian's advice and he is still one of my close friends.
He didn't read the air at the start, but now is one guy who reads it better than anyone else.
If you want to read more about this, follow the link below:
https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2016/08/what-we-can-learn-from-ky.html
Now I know people in the west will associate KY with stuff you put on when you are having sex but it is a little different.
KY stands for 空気が読めない. (Kuuki ga Yomenai) Get it? KY. Literally it means "Can't read the air."
I'm sure that we have all been guilty of saying stupid things and inappropriate things when we would have been more served saying nothing. The thing is that most of us realise that we have upset the atmosphere and we can apologise and move on, however, there are some who just don't get it and never will.
I remember about 20 years ago, I was in a bar with people from all over the world. An American, who had just arrived in Japan was shouting that he wanted an American to talk to because he didn't understand anyone. A Canadian took him aside and said that that ugly American style wouldn't go down very well in that gathering. To his credit, the American guy took the Canadian's advice and he is still one of my close friends.
He didn't read the air at the start, but now is one guy who reads it better than anyone else.
If you want to read more about this, follow the link below:
https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2016/08/what-we-can-learn-from-ky.html
Friday, 4 May 2018
HACKS TO APPEAR MORE CONFIDENT
I'm sure most of you have heard of the phrase, "Fake it until you make it." You know this phrase, right? You "act as if."
What if you are not that confident but you want to act as if you are confident. What kind of things can you do that will make you appear confident even though you might be shitting bricks inside?
Well, there is a few things you can do. Let me go through them that have worked for either myself for other people.
1. POSTURE
How many times in your life has your mother warned you of your posture or that old chestnut "stand up straight. Look the world in the eye." Well, it turned out that she was right. When you throw your shoulders back and walk with your body straight and your head held high, this displays status and power and naturally you are going to appear more confident.
Don't be like the following:
I was leaving the library the other day and there was guy so engrossed in his phone that when he got off the elevator he literally walked into a door.
Forget about your phone for a few minutes and walk straight.
2. KEEP YOUR CHIN AND HEAD UP
Look straight ahead. Don't do as many people do, walk along the street looking at the street. Look straight ahead because that is where you are going and you never know who might be walking the other way.
3. TAKE YOUR HANDS OUT OF OUR POCKETS
Apparently having your hands visible means that you are confident and ready for anything that if you really think about it, is probably correct. My only question is, what if your hands are cold and you don't have any gloves?
4. DON'T FIDGET
One of my annoyances is the guy (and it is usually a guy) who is sitting next to me uncontrollably shaking his leg. What is that all about? From what I have learned, it is confidence issue. It shows that you are worried or anxious about something so if you want to appear confident you firstly have to realise that you are shaking your leg and to control it.
5. EYE CONTACT
This is without a doubt the most important thing to do if you want to appear confident. I know on many an occasion I have locked eyes with a woman and almost immediately turned away. Why? I don't want to be accused of staring when my sudden turning away is showing that (to use a word that is overused recently) I'm a little creepy. Keep those eyes on the person and smile. What's the worst that can happen?
6. TAKE UP SPACE
They say that a confident man takes up space. An example of this if you stand with your feet apart. If you stand with your feet too close together you can come across as timid and anxious. I have noticed a lot when I am sitting on the train that I try to make myself as small as possible so people can sit down next to me. I noticed a biggish woman do the same the other day as well. I don't think this is good. Obviously it is a pain in the arse (ass) for the person sitting next to you but you will look confident.
7. SMILE
One of my favourite menu options on the McDonalds Japan menu is the Smile which is ¥0. I've never ordered one but maybe I should. When you smile a genuine smile, It suggests that you are friendly, trustworthy and honest and this makes you more attractive in anyones's eyes.
8. FIRM HANDSHAKES
My father taught me a long time ago that I had to give a good handshake because that was the first impression that people got of you. You look the other person in the eye and give a firm handshake not a cruncher though like the one below:
9. TAKE BIG STEPS
Walk slower. Don't always seem to be in a hurry. This will convert the feeling that you are in control of your life and you don't need to get anywhere in a hurry. It is all under control.
At the end of the day, do you know what the end goal is?
The end goal is that DGAF confidence. Do you know what DGAF means? My friend and I call it JDGAS.
Why is DGAF so important?
It is important because you have reached a stage where you don't care what people are thinking about you or saying about you. Who cares? It is their opinion and other people are allowed that.
What if you are not that confident but you want to act as if you are confident. What kind of things can you do that will make you appear confident even though you might be shitting bricks inside?
Well, there is a few things you can do. Let me go through them that have worked for either myself for other people.
1. POSTURE
How many times in your life has your mother warned you of your posture or that old chestnut "stand up straight. Look the world in the eye." Well, it turned out that she was right. When you throw your shoulders back and walk with your body straight and your head held high, this displays status and power and naturally you are going to appear more confident.
Don't be like the following:
I was leaving the library the other day and there was guy so engrossed in his phone that when he got off the elevator he literally walked into a door.
Forget about your phone for a few minutes and walk straight.
2. KEEP YOUR CHIN AND HEAD UP
Look straight ahead. Don't do as many people do, walk along the street looking at the street. Look straight ahead because that is where you are going and you never know who might be walking the other way.
3. TAKE YOUR HANDS OUT OF OUR POCKETS
Apparently having your hands visible means that you are confident and ready for anything that if you really think about it, is probably correct. My only question is, what if your hands are cold and you don't have any gloves?
4. DON'T FIDGET
One of my annoyances is the guy (and it is usually a guy) who is sitting next to me uncontrollably shaking his leg. What is that all about? From what I have learned, it is confidence issue. It shows that you are worried or anxious about something so if you want to appear confident you firstly have to realise that you are shaking your leg and to control it.
5. EYE CONTACT
This is without a doubt the most important thing to do if you want to appear confident. I know on many an occasion I have locked eyes with a woman and almost immediately turned away. Why? I don't want to be accused of staring when my sudden turning away is showing that (to use a word that is overused recently) I'm a little creepy. Keep those eyes on the person and smile. What's the worst that can happen?
6. TAKE UP SPACE
They say that a confident man takes up space. An example of this if you stand with your feet apart. If you stand with your feet too close together you can come across as timid and anxious. I have noticed a lot when I am sitting on the train that I try to make myself as small as possible so people can sit down next to me. I noticed a biggish woman do the same the other day as well. I don't think this is good. Obviously it is a pain in the arse (ass) for the person sitting next to you but you will look confident.
7. SMILE
One of my favourite menu options on the McDonalds Japan menu is the Smile which is ¥0. I've never ordered one but maybe I should. When you smile a genuine smile, It suggests that you are friendly, trustworthy and honest and this makes you more attractive in anyones's eyes.
8. FIRM HANDSHAKES
My father taught me a long time ago that I had to give a good handshake because that was the first impression that people got of you. You look the other person in the eye and give a firm handshake not a cruncher though like the one below:
9. TAKE BIG STEPS
Walk slower. Don't always seem to be in a hurry. This will convert the feeling that you are in control of your life and you don't need to get anywhere in a hurry. It is all under control.
At the end of the day, do you know what the end goal is?
The end goal is that DGAF confidence. Do you know what DGAF means? My friend and I call it JDGAS.
Why is DGAF so important?
It is important because you have reached a stage where you don't care what people are thinking about you or saying about you. Who cares? It is their opinion and other people are allowed that.
Thursday, 3 May 2018
Charisma: How can you cultivate it?
Charisma? What does this mean? The dictionary on my computer defines it this way:
"compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others."
Sounds good, doesn't it?
Sure, there are some naturally charismatic people out there but you and I who may not be that way inclined can do specific things that help you with you charisma.
What are those things? Lets have a look.
1. Use language that people can understand:
It's all very well having a good vocabulary and it does make you look smart but sometimes using words that are not commonly used may backfire on you. Obviously, don't use language that makes you sound like a dork but keep it simple. Also, if you are listening to someone and they use language that you don't comprehend, don't be afraid to ask what that means. I used to be scared to and then I would look an even bigger dork when it was obvious I didn't understand what was said before.
2. Walk at the same rate as other people:
I had a friend who would walk at her pace which was supersonic speed. I remember one particular time she put on the afterburners and was gone. I was walking with her friend and she and I watched as my friend crossed the horizon. We have lost contact over the years. I wonder if that is a reason. I have found recently that I have slowed down a lot more. I feel great because of it.
3. Allow people to talk about themselves:
They say that people will say to another person that they know him or her very well after they have meet. Why is that? It is because, probably the other person has allowed the other person to talk about themselves so much that they think the other person is great. What do we like more than anything else in the world? Ourselves! Right?
4. It's good to smile:
If you smile more, you appear to be more approachable than the miserable guy in the corner. That's pretty obvious, right? Even if you a not classically attractive, a really nice smile can make up for that in a big way. I've heard that in some countries, Russia for example, to smile is considered childish. I think that is sad. That doesn't make me smile at all.
5. Have a dog:
I'm sorry, this is one thing that I can't agree with. Apparently men with dogs are considered more approachable and happy and relaxed. Good for them. I'm sorry, I'm scared of dogs. That doesn't work for me.
6. Have open body language:
What do they say? That more than half of your communication is non-verbal and body language related so you really have to concentrate on that. So unfold those arms, open up your torso and you will come across as being very friendly and approachable. (That word seems very topical in this post.)
7. Mirroring
They say that when two people are getting along they start to mirror each other. The person crosses their legs and then you do the same. You take a sip of water and then the other person takes a sip of water. Mirror the other person and they will feel closer to you. That sounds very charismatic to me.
"compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others."
Sounds good, doesn't it?
Sure, there are some naturally charismatic people out there but you and I who may not be that way inclined can do specific things that help you with you charisma.
What are those things? Lets have a look.
1. Use language that people can understand:
It's all very well having a good vocabulary and it does make you look smart but sometimes using words that are not commonly used may backfire on you. Obviously, don't use language that makes you sound like a dork but keep it simple. Also, if you are listening to someone and they use language that you don't comprehend, don't be afraid to ask what that means. I used to be scared to and then I would look an even bigger dork when it was obvious I didn't understand what was said before.
2. Walk at the same rate as other people:
I had a friend who would walk at her pace which was supersonic speed. I remember one particular time she put on the afterburners and was gone. I was walking with her friend and she and I watched as my friend crossed the horizon. We have lost contact over the years. I wonder if that is a reason. I have found recently that I have slowed down a lot more. I feel great because of it.
3. Allow people to talk about themselves:
They say that people will say to another person that they know him or her very well after they have meet. Why is that? It is because, probably the other person has allowed the other person to talk about themselves so much that they think the other person is great. What do we like more than anything else in the world? Ourselves! Right?
4. It's good to smile:
If you smile more, you appear to be more approachable than the miserable guy in the corner. That's pretty obvious, right? Even if you a not classically attractive, a really nice smile can make up for that in a big way. I've heard that in some countries, Russia for example, to smile is considered childish. I think that is sad. That doesn't make me smile at all.
5. Have a dog:
I'm sorry, this is one thing that I can't agree with. Apparently men with dogs are considered more approachable and happy and relaxed. Good for them. I'm sorry, I'm scared of dogs. That doesn't work for me.
6. Have open body language:
What do they say? That more than half of your communication is non-verbal and body language related so you really have to concentrate on that. So unfold those arms, open up your torso and you will come across as being very friendly and approachable. (That word seems very topical in this post.)
7. Mirroring
They say that when two people are getting along they start to mirror each other. The person crosses their legs and then you do the same. You take a sip of water and then the other person takes a sip of water. Mirror the other person and they will feel closer to you. That sounds very charismatic to me.
Wednesday, 2 May 2018
DEAR MEN ........
Today's post is going to be for men. So, ladies, you can have the day off if you like or you are more than welcome to have a read. That is up to you.
So, guys. How's it going? Are you having a great day? Are you kicking arse (ass)?
You're not?
Well what can you and I do to make our lives better and to become the best version of ourselves?
Number one, understand what is the one thing that makes you, you? What is that one thing that makes you attractive to other people?
If you can cultivate that one thing then you are well on the road to becoming the man that you know deep in your heart that you can be. It can be anything but if you can make that thing a real part of you then you will become more confident and more attractive to women and the other people around you. Maybe they know you so far as a nice guy but not someone that they want to hang with for extended periods of time.
Number two, build a lifestyle that people want to be a part of.
I know that I have been guilty of this and I'm sure that many people out there who are reading this have been guilty of this too, they put off things like hanging with friends, building a career, interacting with family to try and get a woman. When they should be doing these things. They should be concentrating on their career or they should be concentrating on the things that make them who they are and instead of you chasing, if you do it well they will be chasing you.
Build a lifestyle so that men want to be like you and women want to be with you. A cliche I know, but it is true.
Last but not least is number three and this is the need to develop your personality.
What you need to do and this is another cliche I'm sorry, it is to be yourself and to be comfortable with being yourself. Naturally on occasions you may need to step out of shell but the most important is to be comfortable of who you are. That confidence will show out and people will want to be around you.
Remember:
You're not?
Well what can you and I do to make our lives better and to become the best version of ourselves?
Number one, understand what is the one thing that makes you, you? What is that one thing that makes you attractive to other people?
If you can cultivate that one thing then you are well on the road to becoming the man that you know deep in your heart that you can be. It can be anything but if you can make that thing a real part of you then you will become more confident and more attractive to women and the other people around you. Maybe they know you so far as a nice guy but not someone that they want to hang with for extended periods of time.
Number two, build a lifestyle that people want to be a part of.
I know that I have been guilty of this and I'm sure that many people out there who are reading this have been guilty of this too, they put off things like hanging with friends, building a career, interacting with family to try and get a woman. When they should be doing these things. They should be concentrating on their career or they should be concentrating on the things that make them who they are and instead of you chasing, if you do it well they will be chasing you.
Build a lifestyle so that men want to be like you and women want to be with you. A cliche I know, but it is true.
Last but not least is number three and this is the need to develop your personality.
What you need to do and this is another cliche I'm sorry, it is to be yourself and to be comfortable with being yourself. Naturally on occasions you may need to step out of shell but the most important is to be comfortable of who you are. That confidence will show out and people will want to be around you.
Remember:
- What is one thing that makes you, you?
- Build a lifestyle that people want to be a part of.
- Develop your personality that is natural to you.
Tuesday, 1 May 2018
Why do Brazilian footballers have only one name?
Do you know who Edson Arantes do Nascimento is? Maybe you do.
What about Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite? Does this name ring a bell?
Or, and this is my favourite one, who is Arthur Antunes Coimbra? This one is particularly difficult and unless you google it I doubt you know this one.
Let me put you out of your misery.
The first name, I am sure sports and particularly football (soccer) fans will know is Pele.
Next, Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite. Maybe you have recognised that this is also possibly a Brazilian name and maybe this person is a football player too, Well, you would be correct. This is Kaka. He also played for Brazil from 2002 to 2016.
Finally, Arthur Antunes Coimbra. Care to guess? Socrates? Ronaldo? Cafu? Hulk? Ronaldinho? Dunga? Drum roll please. (Scroll down to reveal the answer.)
This is Zico.
This is one of my earliest memories of the FIFA World Cup. Zico's brilliant goal against the All Whites (New Zealand).
In Brazilian culture it is not unusual for people to use nicknames as a show of affection. You can see with the above names that you have three or four or more names to remember so the nickname is easier to remember. In the case of the above football players it can almost be considered a brand.
Apparently, even a former president of the country was recognised by his nickname, Lula.
I think nicknames are good. It makes these players more human and it allows the fans to associate with them better. I hate it when you have to use a title to address someone. Their parents didn't name their children, Your Majesty or Bucho or Mr. President. Why do we need to use that title? I think it is ridiculous.
I think also having a nickname or a brand or something similar allows you to stand out from the crowd. It allows you to create who you are as opposed to just some faceless person in the crowd.
I wonder if Edson Arantes do Nascimento would have been as well known today if he didn't have the nickname Pele. There is no doubt, but I'm sure that the name Pele added to his aura.
What are you going to be known as?
What about Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite? Does this name ring a bell?
Or, and this is my favourite one, who is Arthur Antunes Coimbra? This one is particularly difficult and unless you google it I doubt you know this one.
Let me put you out of your misery.
The first name, I am sure sports and particularly football (soccer) fans will know is Pele.
Next, Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite. Maybe you have recognised that this is also possibly a Brazilian name and maybe this person is a football player too, Well, you would be correct. This is Kaka. He also played for Brazil from 2002 to 2016.
Finally, Arthur Antunes Coimbra. Care to guess? Socrates? Ronaldo? Cafu? Hulk? Ronaldinho? Dunga? Drum roll please. (Scroll down to reveal the answer.)
This is Zico.
This is one of my earliest memories of the FIFA World Cup. Zico's brilliant goal against the All Whites (New Zealand).
In Brazilian culture it is not unusual for people to use nicknames as a show of affection. You can see with the above names that you have three or four or more names to remember so the nickname is easier to remember. In the case of the above football players it can almost be considered a brand.
Apparently, even a former president of the country was recognised by his nickname, Lula.
I think nicknames are good. It makes these players more human and it allows the fans to associate with them better. I hate it when you have to use a title to address someone. Their parents didn't name their children, Your Majesty or Bucho or Mr. President. Why do we need to use that title? I think it is ridiculous.
I think also having a nickname or a brand or something similar allows you to stand out from the crowd. It allows you to create who you are as opposed to just some faceless person in the crowd.
I wonder if Edson Arantes do Nascimento would have been as well known today if he didn't have the nickname Pele. There is no doubt, but I'm sure that the name Pele added to his aura.
What are you going to be known as?
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