Thursday, 3 May 2018

Charisma: How can you cultivate it?

Charisma? What does this mean? The dictionary on my computer defines it this way:

"compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others."

Sounds good, doesn't it? 

Sure, there are some naturally charismatic people out there but you and I who may not be that way inclined can do specific things that help you with you charisma.

What are those things? Lets have a look.

1. Use language that people can understand:

It's all very well having a good vocabulary and it does make you look smart but sometimes using words that are not commonly used may backfire on you. Obviously, don't use language that makes you sound like a dork but keep it simple. Also, if you are listening to someone and they use language that you don't comprehend, don't be afraid to ask what that means. I used to be scared to and then I would look an even bigger dork when it was obvious I didn't understand what was said before.

2. Walk at the same rate as other people:

I had a friend who would walk at her pace which was supersonic speed. I remember one particular time she put on the afterburners and was gone. I was walking with her friend and she and I watched as my friend crossed the horizon. We have lost contact over the years. I wonder if that is a reason. I have found recently that I have slowed down a lot more. I feel great because of it.

3. Allow people to talk about themselves:

They say that people will say to another person that they know him or her very well after they have meet. Why is that? It is because, probably the other person has allowed the other person to talk about themselves so much that they think the other person is great. What do we like more than anything else in the world? Ourselves! Right?

4. It's good to smile:

If you smile more, you appear to be more approachable than the miserable guy in the corner. That's pretty obvious, right? Even if you a not classically attractive, a really nice smile can make up for that in a big way. I've heard that in some countries, Russia for example, to smile is considered childish. I think that is sad. That doesn't make me smile at all.

5. Have a dog:

I'm sorry, this is one thing that I can't agree with. Apparently men with dogs are considered more approachable  and happy and relaxed. Good for them. I'm sorry, I'm scared of dogs. That doesn't work for me.

6. Have open body language:

What do they say? That more than half of your communication is non-verbal and body language related so you really have to concentrate on that. So unfold those arms, open up your torso and you will come across as being very friendly and approachable. (That word seems very topical in this post.)

7. Mirroring

They say that when two people are getting along they start to mirror each other. The person crosses their legs and then you do the same. You take a sip of water and then the other person takes a sip of water. Mirror the other person and they will feel closer to you. That sounds very charismatic to me.

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