Saturday, 8 July 2017

How to love an introvert

This was an interesting post on Instagram. It comes from this website which looks very interesting.

I would like to go through the 7 ways you can love an introvert and give you my take on them.

1. Realise that introversion is not just a personality trait.

You can't just (contrary to what it seems on this blog and others) lump everyone into two groups, introvert and extrovert. There is, very much like the political spectrum, a line where on the left are the people who don't want to leave the house. (You can read more about that phenomenon in Japan, here.) While on the right side of the spectrum are the people who cant stand to be alone for only a short time.

Introversion is about how you reenergise. You could be outgoing. You could be confident. You could be a great public speaker but when you need to reenergise yourself you do it, either by yourself or with someone else who is special to you.

2. Introverts in you life will know you more deeply than anyone else.

Introverts do not have many superficial friendships. By this, I mean that some people have "friends" who they only see once every six months. They air kiss each other, say how they are looking good and "have you lost weight?" and then proceed onto the next person.

Remember introverts energise with one or two other people so they will know those people very well. They might even know stuff that you don't know that they know. Or, they might remember things that you told them but you actually forgot that you told them.

You will find that introverts don't have many friends but the ones that they do have they will do anything for and vice versa.

Never, ever, ever think that a lack of friends is a weakness or some kind of sign of social ineptness. This is certainly a case of quality is much better than quantity.

3. Introverts will want one-on-one on time with you

They will go to the party with you because they love you but they would much rather spend the night, alone with you, talking, cuddling, watching a movie or maybe even reading or studying together. They just want to be with you and feel your presence.

4. Introvert also want time alone. Let them without making them feel guilty. 

If you understand this, you understand an introvert and they will love you more and more for it.

5. Sometimes the phone isn't the best option.

I think this is a bit of an old-fashioned one. (Sorry) It seems to me these days that if you don't text you are some unsociable pleb. They say that texting is best because it allows the other person to respond when they want to but sometimes that can mean the conversation can go on for days and all you wanted to know was if the other person wanted to have a drink with you on Thursday  night.

6. When introverts are stressed and tired they need support and rest.

I suppose that goes for anyone but you will find that introverted people are quite sensitive to things and they can stress easily, especially when it requires change. When an introverted person is stressed, they need your support more than anything else.

I know from personal experience that I need that from time to time.

7. Be kind: Introverts are already hard on themselves (even when you'd never guess it)

You should know by now that introverts are very much in their heads and from experience they are probably scolded themselves on even the most trivial things. Also they know when they f**k*d up. They don't need you reminding them every 20 seconds about what you did, it will just cause them to turn off and walk away. Only their best, best friends can get away with that. Even then they might turn off and turn silent which is not good for everyone.

If you can show these seven things then you will really get on their good side and you will have a friend and maybe more for life.

That's not a bad deal if I do say so myself.

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