Some of us find it very uncomfortable to walk around knowing that someone in our midst does not like us or is trying to avoid us. Of course, there are some people who are oblivious to that kind of thing and sometimes I wish that I was that kind of person. But I digress.
How can you become more likeable? How can you get people talking about you (behind your back) in a positive light?
("True friends say good things behind your back and bad things to your face.")
I can think of three ways:
1. Say my name
I'll let Beyonce Knowles, LeToya Luckett, LaTavia Roberson and Kelly Rowland kick this one off:
What is the most important thing to you? I would say that you are probably the most important thing to you. You might say your wife or husband is, or even your baby daughter is and that's great but at the end of the day, I would say, that yourself is the most important thing.
This goes for almost everyone in the world so if you remember the other person's name and actually use their name, they are going to think that you are great.
I'll give you an example. When I played cricket at high school, we would have our games on Saturday afternoons in the summer. Because we were all high school students playing against adult men it was quite challenging but we held our own. Of course we all got a lot of support from our parents and other family members which was nice.
My mother would often say that she liked one of my team mate's fathers. Why? Because he would say "Hello Jane" (that's my mother's name). That's all. Hello and my mother's name. She loved it. Why? Because the name Jane is important to her.
I must admit that I'm not the best at this. I either forget names very quickly or I'm not sure how to pronounce them. One guy I see frequently, always says "Hello Blair" which is really nice. I must admit that I don't know how to say his name so on occasions I will just say hello or mumble his name hoping he doesn't hear it. This is despicable behaviour by me. I should just say his name the way I know it and if I mispronounce it, I should be confident that he would correct me and I shouldn't be embarrassed about it.
So, say people's names, it will make you stand out.
(I must admit that even though I live in Japan and I have for a long time, I do find the culture of using titles for some people as being not good. Bosses and teachers and other professions are called by their title and to me this is a bit insulting. My parents didn't call me 'section chief' or 'teacher' or 'president' so why should other people call me that. That's an interesting one. I might have to dig into that a bit more.)
Another story is something I heard from my father about one of his co-workers who would never say his name, Stuart. The co-worker would say "excuse me." My father got mightily annoyed at this as his parents (my grandparents) did not christen him "excuse me."
If you walk around with a big frown on your face, how are you going to feel? You probably are going to feel miserable.
Do me a favour as you read this. Smile! How do you feel? I just did it and I immediately felt better.
Do you know what, smiles are contagious. You don't believe me, smile at someone and unless they are a complete idiot they would probably smile back and they will immediately feel better and you will too.
Basically when you smile, you are exuding energy. You are exuding positive energy. People will enjoy talking with you more. You will probably enjoy talking to them and you will have a great little energy pot to work from.
Try it. See what happens.
3. Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the eye
This song basically sums it all up. I'm sure your mother told you on numerous occasions not to slouch. I know mine did.
It is all about body language and that body language exudes confidence and people can spot it a mile away.
I have been working on this recently by not putting the strap on my business bag and really concentrating on pulling my shoulders back when I walking around with my bag. I don't know if it is noticeable but I feel better about it all so it might be working.
Throw your shoulders back, look up and walk straight. Sounds like a plan to me. Also, resist the urge to walk looking down at your smartphone. First of all, you are an idiot, plan and stupid. Secondly, you might crash into a lamp post which proves my first point.
There you have it. The three things to do to be liked:
1. Say their name
3. Have correct posture.
I'm sure you will notice a difference, very, very quickly.