What we can learn from KY.

空気読めない

It's Japanese lesson time again. Have a look at the phrase above:

Do you know what this says? It says Kuuki Yomenai (KY). Literally it means 'cant read the air.' In other words you are, lets say a little incompetent in the social situation. You aren't able to read the clues that people are giving.

Lets think of a couple of examples.

Maybe you are an extrovert and your partner is more introverted. You are both are at a party and you are having a great time talking to everyone. Your partner however has had enough socialising and wants to go home. Your partners body language, facial expressions and words and saying everything to you that he or she wants to go home however you ignore it. This could be an example of Kuuki Yomenai (KY).

Another example would be you are at the same party but this time you are alone. The party continues and you are having a fantastic time, basically dominating the room. However what you don't notice  is that the host wants people to go home so they can go to bed. You don't notice this at all and just continue to drink and talk and rave. In the end the hosts literally have to kick you out of the house. You could have prevented that embarrassment by being wary of what is going on but you chose, deliberately or otherwise to ignore it.

My father and I were in Kyoto recently doing some sightseeing. If you haven't been to Kyoto, you should put it on your list of things to do because it is pretty cool.

Anyway we were there on a very hot day. Kyoto can get very, very hot in the summer. Be warned.

We were sitting in the shade planning our next strategy when a family, they sounded as though they were from North America came by. There were the two parents and three teenage children. My father started talking to one of the children. It was obvious that she had had enough sightseeing for the day and just wanted to sit by the pool or do nothing however it was also obvious that the father had made a plan and he was going to stick by the plan come hell or high water.

The father obviously didn't read the situation with his daughter. He was on a mission and he had his blinkers on. He wanted to see as many sights as possible. His daughter did not share his enthusiasm.

Sometimes people are just so absorbed in what they are doing that they don't see what other people are doing or wanting.

When you are in a group of mixed introverts and extroverts be aware that the other people might not share your enthusiasm for the situation and let them do their own thing. They will feel a lot better with your understanding.

I suppose that last paragraph is for extroverts. So in saying that:

Dear Extroverted people of the world,

If your introverted friend wants to leave, let them. They are not being rude to you, they are being true to themselves. In fact, the one being rude is you for almost forcing them to stay there in a situation that they are not feeling comfortable with.

Read the atmosphere my extroverted friend. Anyway, you will still have a great time with or without your introverted friend because you can seem to make friends at will.