Monday, 15 August 2016

Should you say something or be quiet?

A few years ago I had a friend of mine staying with me and he mentioned something that I hadn't noticed before and now when I do it I'm very conscious of it.

When I meet people I'm very conscious of what I say and what I do. You know how some people can just come straight out and say things to another person and they instantly become friends? That certainly is not me.

I remember a few years ago, a former work colleague saying that when he first met me that I was very standoffish and he thought that I was a little snobbish but was relieved to find out that I wasn't.

Anyway, when my friend was staying with me, he overheard me talking to a colleague on the phone. Apparently I wasn't holding back and I was joking and making stupid comments and the like.

As soon as I got off the phone my friend mentioned that I must be very comfortable with that colleague because I was very outgoing. The ironic thing is if I met that colleague today I would be very guarded as I haven't seen that colleague for a few years and that person can run quite hot and cold depending on the situation.

The other day at my gym I was talking to a guy who I may have only spoken to a handful of times. For some reason I must have felt comfortable so I said some things that if I think about it, probably wasn't very appropriate. Considering his nationality and our previous conversations I thought that it was OK but now when I think about it I may have crossed the line with a couple of things I said.

This is the problem with us introverted people. Sometimes we can't read the social situation and we can come across as being idiots. Of course extroverted people can do the same but the different between introverted people and extroverted people is that the extroverts just don't care. They are having fun and reenergising themselves by talking to people so they are just doing what comes naturally.

Introverts need a little bit more practice and this an be achieved by you being the one asking the questions. You can control the conversation and at the end of it the other person is going to think that you are a great person because they did all the talking and believe me if there is one thing that people love talking about it is themselves.

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