Sunday, 23 October 2016

Have you ever been rejected online?

We are living in the age of the smartphone. You can basically do everything these days with your smartphone with the exception of maybe brushing your teeth although I'm sure that there is someone out there who is developing an app that will brush your teeth for you. Who knows? Maybe the next Apple product will be the iPhone 8T.

There are many kinds of apps out there and there seems to be a multitude of dating apps. Tinder, Hinge, Happn and Bumble to name a few.

These apps are all slightly different in how they work but the main thing is that you match with someone and then you try to set up a date offline, in other words, face-to-face.

However, on the day of the date, he or she sends you a text and says that they can't meet that day. They don't give you an alternative day. Basically they are brushing you off and you have been flat out rejected. It does hurt and you feel like you may have done something wrong when in fact it is the other person who had the problem because you have done nothing wrong, in fact you have done nothing. They have decided for whatever reason that they don't want to see you. I know that it is easier said than done but at the end of the day, it is their loss.

What can you do to handle this rejection?

1. Focus on the people around you.

You have many people around you that love and/or respect you. Whether it be family or friends, these people have been in your life for a long time and they will be in your life for a long time. Think how lucky you are don't think about someone that you have been texting for a week. As far as you are concerned, they are just a photograph on your smartphone and quite frankly they don't deserve to take up space in your mind.

2. Don't be hard on yourself.

The rejection was never your fault, it had everything to do with the other person. You were just being yourself and they made a arbitrary decision about some obscure thing in their minds that you texted. Maybe they live a bit far away and they decided that you couldn't be bothered with the hassle of travelling to meet you. Maybe they have a problem with their personality and in the end they are doing you a big favour. You don't have to deal with all that.

3. Don't succumb to oneitis*.

*Oneitis is a feeling that this one man or woman is the only person in the world and you can't mess up with them.
If you match with someone on online dating and you only focus on them, some time down the line you are going to get very, very disappointed. Also don't expect too much from them because if you do get rejected before you meet it can hurt you a lot and your confidence will get knocked for six.

4. Will this matter in 5 years?

A lot of people ask this question, will this disaster matter in 5 years? Everyone knows the answer, right? You would have forgotten his or her name. They have probably been deleted from your contacts a long time ago and if you are still single you have probably met 50 people. Sure it hurts now but in the long term it is a lesson in life and you move on.

5. Never, never, never give up. 

The late Winston Churchill said it best, "Never, never, never give up." Sure you had a rejection or the person you met didn't live up to your expectations but don't give. You are, unless you are very, very lucky, not going to meet Prince Charming or Princess Diana on the first one or two occasions. Don't dismiss the whole online dating thing if you get rejected or the guy you met had three eyes and claws coming out of his back. That's going to happen because at the end of the day it is a numbers game. I know that doesn't sound very romantic but unfortunately that is how it goes.

Hey, you got rejected. Unfortunately that is a part of life. It is going to happen. Think about it is part of life and part of growing up.

The next time you get rejected and you will get rejected, go out and do something fun. Don't stew in your own juices. You will make yourself feel worse and that is not what we want.

No comments:

Post a Comment