Monday, 5 September 2016

Tony Robbins' Human Needs: Certainty

If you are into self-help and you don't know who Tony Robbins is then you are not really into self-help.

Tony Robbins is an American businessman, author and self-help guru who holds seminars all over the world every year.

Robbins talks about the six human needs. The six human needs are divided into the needs of the personality and the needs of the spirit.

The first human need according to Robbins is the need for certainty. This is a sense of security,  a sense of safety and comfort in the world. Basically we want to know what is going to happen tomorrow.

If certainty is not meet we try to get certainty but in fact most of our successes in life are from times when certainty was not meet.

A positive example of certainty is when you are in a stable relationship. People who are in long-term and stable relationships are healthier, happier and apparently live longer. Sounds good doesn't it?

Unfortunately I lost a chance at a relationship earlier this year because of my need for certainty. We had been on a handful of dates and everything seemed to be going well. We seemed to be enjoying each other's company and then suddenly out of the blue she said that she didn't want to see my anymore.

Of course it was devastating for me at the time because I was looking for that certainty of the relationship and I pushed too soon and too fast and it drove her away. Rather than let her come to me at her pace I was trying to get that certainty that she wanted to spend time with me and the end it was not the result that I wanted.

I would love to see her again and tell her that I am sorry and that I have changed and that I understand what I did wrong and I understand what she wants as a woman but I guess that is up to her to decide. All I can do is carry on doing my thing. Trying to accomplish my mission in life, trying to achieve goals, breaking down barriers and going after my purpose in life. Then if she feels the need to reach out then that would be good and if not, life goes on.

We all want something of value in our lives and something that gives us comfort but sometimes that isn't the best thing and actually the best thing is uncertainty...

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