Thursday, 1 September 2016

Beating the fears of life.

Have a look at the photo above. Would you believe that the guy in the photo doesn't like dogs? Actually the guy in the photo is scared of dogs. He told me that ever since he can remember he would always cross the street when a dog was coming towards him even if it was on a leash. Even now, he was saying that he is wary of them.

So, how can someone who has admitted to the fact that he is afraid of dogs manage to do this?

Well, I think it helps that the dog was no bigger than a teddy bear and very friendly and obviously well cared for and he just wanted to play. Our hero in the photo obliged and a beautiful friendship developed.

So is the guy in the picture completely over his fear of dogs? Not even close but at least he made a small step that day in overcoming his fear.

What can you do to overcome your fears?

There are two types of fears, physical fears and mental fears. Physical fears and where you are in mortal danger while the mental fears are in your head and you are probably not going to hurt or injured.

Well, first of all you have to acknowledge the fear. You have to know that you have it.

Think about your fear and think about what is the worst thing that can happen. Obviously if you are scared of heights and you decide to confront it by jumping off a bridge with a rubber band strapped around your legs or jump out of an airplane with a parachute strapped to your back then it is pretty obvious what the worst thing is that could happen.

If you are like me you might have a fear of cold calling then what is the worst thing that could happen? Probably you are going to get told to f**k off by someone who got out on the wrong side of the bed in the morning and his or her anger is totally unrelated to your call.

As a man, if you fear approaching a woman, what is the worst thing that can happen? You get rejected. You have to develop that mindset that it is their loss not yours. That takes work and it is not easy.

At the end of the day, you have to face your fears. Think of it as problem that has to be solved and we run towards our problems, don't we? I know in the past I have run full tilt away and it hasn't helped me but if we face our fears we can overcome and become more and more confident as a result.

So, to summarise acknowledge the fear, decide what is the worst thing that can happen and then go and face it and you can conquer your fear like the young man in the photo below. Look the dog absolutely loves him.

I would like to leave the last word to the late Greg Plitt:

"You guys find the fear. That Fear will either create you or destroy you. I love fear, the reason why is behind your fear is the person that you want to be. Fear is self imposed. To me it doesn't exist. You create it. You can destroy it too. It's an intangible.  If you face your fears you will realise that its not that big and once you face it. Oh my god, I spent all this time running from it and its so small. I should have just faced it."

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