Lets continue our look at the 21 signs you might actually be an ambivert. You can see the original here. Today we are onto number 6.
6. Your calm, controlled professional self feels like a very different person to the one your friends see.
This is an interesting one because as an ambivert you can be a very different person around people that you know very well and people that you don't know very well or have just met. Around people that you know well you will probably be at some stages the life of the party, especially if you have a few drinks in you. Also I find with my closest friends I will have no hesitation in calling them out on their nonsense much more readily than someone who is merely an acquaintance.
The interesting thing about the above statement is that in private I am calm and controlled. An introverted ambivert if you like however in work related situations I can be very extroverted. My friend calls this being a situational extrovert. This means that in situations where I consider it prudent I will come out of my shell and show that I am an extrovert just trying to break free. I'll give you an example. The aforementioned friend got married about five years ago. I went to his wedding. It was a Sikh wedding and if you are like me you may have watched the 2002 film Bend it like Beckham. In this movie they showed a few scenes from a Sikh wedding and it look like a lot of fun. Plenty of dancing, eating and drinking. Sounds like the perfect party to me. Anyway, my friend's wedding was no exception. There was plenty to eat. There was plenty to drink, although I didn't drink much and there was plenty of dancing. I must have been high on something because I went berserk. Very extroverted, right? Maybe it was the fact that my best mate had just walked down the aisle (or walked around the Guru Granth Sahib four times to be precise.) and I was honoured to be a part of it. Whatever it was, I can't remember being like it since. "Situational extrovert" I get reminded on regular occasions.
The whole idea of that story is to show that you do know how to come out of your shell and you do know how to scurry back in there as well. That is what being an ambivert is all about. Basically, as a classic 1970's song, you know when hold them, know when to fold, know when to go to bed, know when to dance. I admit that isn't exactly how the song goes but you get the picture right?
I think don't try to be someone that you are not around people you don't know. It is very draining and you are just going to come across as having less energy than you normally look like anyway. Play it cool around new people and be yourself around your old friends. You will preserve a lot of energy that way.