Saturday, 23 April 2016

I like you

Yesterday, I talked about this article. We talked about thinking and what the best thinkers do. Today I would like to talk about likability. You can see the link for the article and like yesterday I would like to give you my take on it. The author talks about certain traits that people do that make people like them less. Anyway, here we go:

1. Humble bragging: This one talks about bragging about yourself behind the veil of self deprecating humour. I'm sure we all brag from time to time. I remember I used self-deprecating humour all of the time but I think I'm using it less and less. Self-deprecating humour in my opinion just makes you look like an idiot so why use it? By all means, play up your abilities but don't overdo it. No one wants to hear about it.

2. Being too serious: No danger of that happening. Seriously, I don't take anything too serious. Well, maybe a couple of things. The thing is that I see about this one is that the ones who take it serious are probably the ones with all of the money and they don't care if they are liked or not. So if you don't care about being liked or not then f**k them. Be serious.

3. Not asking enough questions: My friend told me a few years ago that there are two types of people, those who are listening and those who are ready to talk, in other words not listening to what is being said and concentrating on what he or she is going to say next. I am definitely in the latter. Someone will say something and that will remind me of a story and I am so anxious to get that story out that I stop listening to what is being said and just prepare to talk. However if I start asking questions then I might become more likeable. Be careful though, don't make it like an interview.

4. Emotional hijackings: I had a situation recently where I didn't throw all of the toys out of the cot but I could have and maybe a buzzy bee or two got thrown out. (For those of you who don't know, a buzzy bee is a toy from New Zealand. You can see below, Prince William playing with one.) Anyway, you have to keep your emotions in check because if you start throwing tantrums then it will probably come back and bite you in the bum later.

5. Whipping out your phone: This is the worst one and I hate it. If I do it I will tell the other person that I will. Then, although it is rude they will know. Concentrate on the moment, not your phone.

6. Name dropping: I have my Fijian Prime Minister story. Is that name dropping? Maybe, I'm not sure. The woman I was telling it to last week seemed to be impressed. As the article says, when you are doing it all the time then you are just fishing for attention and that is not the greatest.

7. Gossiping: It's not good. Enough said.

8. Having a closed mind: I think that I am pretty good at this. I have my opinions but I am happy to hear what others have to say unless they are far right-wing lunatics with their heads so far up their spiritual being's ass that it is ridiculous. Do you get my point?

9. Sharing too much too early: Yep, guilty as charged. I'm very good at this and I think that has caused some of my problems of the last few months and years. You want to stay a mystery for a little bit so that people wonder what is going on with you. I wish that I could take some of my own advice.

10. Sharing too much on social media: Yep, I must admit that I have put some stuff on social media or changed my profile photo on Facebook to get likes. It makes me feel good. I mean what a lot of BS, right? I shouldn't be relying on other people's acceptance to feel good about myself. I should feel good about myself regardless.

It's good to be liked but go about it the correct way, listen, concentrate on the other person and what they are saying and don't gossip. Sounds easy, doesn't it?

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