Saturday 14 January 2017

I'm shy! I have to go to a party?

I was telling a story the other day about how I was invited to a party and that I was to meet my friend at the station at 6pm. I was told, "DON"T be late."

I arrived at the station at about 5.55pm and I get a text saying, "I'm running late. I won't be there until 7.30pm. Please go to the party ahead of me."

This was something I did not want to do because:

1. I didn't know the person who was having the party. I had never met him.

2. I wasn't exactly sure where his apartment was even though I was given the address.

3. He didn't know I was coming and I didn't want to just turn up and say hi.

I was telling this story to another guy who said that he wouldn't have gone at all. He would have stayed home and not even left the house.

When I asked him why he replied that he is shy and he wouldn't feel comfortable at the party. I had to empathise with him because in the end I didn't go either as I didn't want to barge in on a stranger's house and party. I just didn't feel very comfortable about it at all.

But what happens when you are invited to a party what can you do to make it less of a hassle for you and the other people around you?

1. Look at it as an opportunity. Look at it as something fun to do and realise (because shyness is the fear of being publicly judged) that the other people there are not judging you at all. In fact they probably don't even know that you have arrived, unless you come in wearing a clown's hat and doing cartwheels which I know you won't be.

2. Look for other people who might be alone or not as comfortable. Together you can make a stand and hopefully have a good time together. As a pair you can introduce yourself to the other people in the pack so to speak.

3. Arrive early. I know for some of you extroverted people the notion of arriving early makes it seem like you are not cool but the introverted people it is a good strategy as you mark your territory before anyone else gets there and you feel a lot better and you have marked out your fort before anyone else arrives.

4. If all else fails drink a lot of alcohol. You won't remember what happened the next day but everyone else will remember and this will get you another invite to the next party where you can go through the whole process all again.

Good luck!


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