Wednesday, 25 January 2017

Are they being nice to you? Are they your friend?

In this post the author talks about stereotypes and whether they are dangerous or not.

The reason I was reminded of this is because a friend of mine asked me the following question:

"Someone told me once that when a Chinese person is nice to you, YOU KNOW they either are your friend or they want something. When a Japanese person is rude to you, YOU KNOW they are your friend. Is this true?"

That is an interesting question and it sort of focuses on national stereotypes.

First of all the first one about Chinese could apply to anyone from any country. Most people will be nice to you if they are your friend, they wouldn't be your friend otherwise, right?

Also, there are many people from all over the world who will be nice to you if they want something. I know from personal experience. I would get a phone from a so called friend from time to time:

"Hey man! How are you? We haven't seen each other for awhile we should go and get a beer."

I would always say yes because who doesn't want to get a beer, right?

"By the way, could you do me a favour, could you call ******* and ask them a question for me."

Of course I would always say yes and then when the answer to the question wasn't what he wanted to hear he would get angry at me and I would have to make more phone calls but of course I was getting a beer so why should I complain?

I learnt the hard way with that one.

About the second part to my friend's question that if a Japanese person is rude to you, you know that they are your friend.

I would say that this is true believe it to not and it is not just Japanese people, I think it is everyone who I classify as being a shy introvert.

I remember more than 10 years ago, I had my friend staying with me and he noticed when I was talking on the phone that I was being really relaxed and I was making fun of the person on the phone. My friend remarked at the time that I must be comfortable with that person because he hadn't heard more talk like that with many people.

The same applies with this Japanese example. Obviously you can't paint everyone with the same brush in a particular country but many people in Japan are a little shy and introverted around strangers but if they are rude to you, I believe that they are being friendly and they trust you to know that they are just joking.

I must admit that I have made mistakes in the past but that is called growing up. I have said something to someone who I thought that I could trust and they would know that I was joking and they have not seen it the same way as me.

That's life isn't it? We live and learn.

To answer my friend's question.

Yes! Chinese people will be nice to you if they are your friend or they want something but so will other nationalities.

Yes! Japanese people will be rude to you if they are your friend but so will other nationalities.

At the end of the day, nationality doesn't have anything to do with it. Look at the individual and their actions. 

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