To finish something you need to start somewhere.

The cat sat on the mat. Yep, this blog has come to this. I was sitting in front of my computer this morning trying to think what I should write. It is incredibly hard coming up with things to write about day after day. God knows how people who have been doing this kind of thing for years and years do it.

What I have found in the last few months is that just starting to do something gets the thoughts flowing and you come up with ideas as you go along. I have found that some of my better posts have started with one sentence which I have written down and then the ideas come to me and I have to force myself to finish the post because if I don't I could still be writing today.

The cat sat on the mat may sound simplistic and not make much sense but by writing this down you are starting something that has the potential to become something spectacular.

What is that Chinese proverb?

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

The cat sat on the mat is that single step.

Why you should learn to speak in public.

What a handsome looking young man he is. This is a (not very clear) photo of me in 7th form. I'm showing my age a bit here because 7th form doesn't exist in New Zealand anymore. I believe it is called Year 13 now, in other words my final year of secondary school (high school).

This particular photo was taken at the General Studies class. The 7th formers could choose 3 subjects that weren't regularly on the curriculum and attend classes in that subject each term. This particular one was taken in the public speaking class.

For a lot of people public speaking is a huge fear. We do not like getting up in front of a bunch of people and speaking. It scares us to death, which unsurprisingly is another one of our fears.

Anyway, my suggestion to you today is going to be short and sweet.

Teach yourself to speak in public. It could be one of the most important things that you do in life.

I know that getting up and speaking is really difficult even if only 3 people are listening to you. You feel especially vulnerable and it is just plain scary but if you can overcome that fear then your self-confidence and your self-esteem goes up.

I like to get a reaction from the crowd so if they laugh at my corny jokes then my energy goes up. It's like I have ingested a half a gallon of Red Bull and it goes on from there.

Follow the young man's lead. Learn how to speak in public and I'm sure that your impact will rise in all of your interactions both social and in business.

How to say no when you want to chill

My friend always jokes to me that I need 6 weeks notice before doing anything. He thinks that I can't do anything spur of the moment. Do I really need 6 weeks notice or is there other things associated with this?

It all comes down to how you organise you day. Let me give you how I planned my day today.

I have been working quite hard this week, getting home late and leaving early in the morning so this morning I decided to sleep in a little and just relaxed at home. I then planned to go to the gym and after that I had a couple of work related things to do and then I came to where I am sitting now to write this post and do some other things.

After finishing here I will go home and go to bed. Sounds exciting, right? Well for me it is and that is the way I designed the day.

You might design your day differently and you might have your own ways of relaxing or recharging and that is the key your own way.

I remember a few years ago I had a friend (the past tense is deliberate because we don't speak anymore) who would call me up and ask me what I was doing. When I said nothing that was an invitation he thought to ask me to have a beer with him. I'm sure in his mind he thought that Blair wouldn't say no and if I did he would use peer pressure to get me out. Knowing what I know now I would have no problem to say no because I wanted to do nothing and that is how I recharge but he always seemed to win which when I look back it annoys me.

If you don't want to socialise on that particular night, say no. I know that that can be difficult to say no but you have to think of yourself and do what is best for you.

In saying that, if you have organised that night out sometime in advance, try to think of good reasons why you should go and keep reminding yourself up to the time because I know from experience that come the day maybe 50% of the time you may want to get out of it and I don't think that is fair on the other person or yourself to be honest. If it is the same day and a spontaneous thing then by all means say no.

Know yourself. Know what you like and what you don't like and remember to do what is best for you as I know from experience that if you are forced to do something that you are not keen on it is going to be the last time that you do it because if you are anything like me, you are going to really dig your heels in.

A*M*B*I*V*E*R*T*S - We are the coolest.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Have you ever been asked this question before? I think maybe more and more this question has been asked around the world.

I must admit that it should be pretty easy to figure out with most people but not necessarily when it comes to ambiverts because for them it swings both ways. Below is a simple representation of the introvert/extrovert spectrum:

                                     
                       

You can see from this that an ambivert is hard to pinpoint.

An ambivert can work efficiently in a group setting or by him or herself. An ambivert doesn't mind going to that party but may want to go before all the extroverts start to warm up and bring out the karaoke.

I know that I like to be centre of attention, delivering a funny speech or presentation and getting a lot of laughs. I must admit that you get a lot of self-confidence from that but you don't want to be in front of everyone all night. Maybe just a few minutes. If you are anything like me, after being the centre of attention it can be tiring because you have taken yourself out of your comfort zone a little and that can be difficult. So you need a rest.

I tell you one thing that you can distinguish an ambivert from and I know this from experience, some people will think that you are quiet and others will think that you are the life and soul of the party. For me this always depends on my first impression of the other person as well as their body language and the way they talk. Sometimes I will be standoffish and it might take a few times before I feel totally comfortable being in their company while other people I can tell straight away that I can be myself and I wont be judged or even worse, ignored while talking with them.

An extrovert needs to be on the move all the time. That is how they energise. I remember seeing on Facebook one Friday afternoon an extroverted woman's plan for the weekend. She wanted everyone to know about it and then she hoped that other people would join her on her adventures. I remember the post, it was very detailed and it looked like she was packing a lot in to the weekend.

An ambivert needs to move around too because too much alone time can be boring. As I am writing this I've realised that I have spent the afternoon by myself and I'm getting a little bored and I'm looking forward to getting out and about in an hour or so.

There you go, more information about ambiverts. Can you relate to any of these? I'm sure that you all have had experiences like this. Just remember, it is nothing to be ashamed of if you don't want to go out tonight or on Friday night, that's perfectly fine. You should listen to yourself and to your body as well.

Will Smith's finest words

Sometimes in life you are going to need to make a decision. You probably make many decisions everyday but there are going to be times where you have to make some big decisions.

When you make your decisions, really think about it. Go through in your mind what the advantages and disadvantages are and can be and then make that decision and when you make that decision give it 100%. Don't do as I have done in the past and gone half-assed at it. However with this blog I haven't done that and I feel better for it.

Today I had to make a decision that could have affected this blog big time and I seriously thought about giving it up but I believe in this and what I am doing and I just didn't want to give it up. I want to fight for this blog and my vision.

That kind of thing is a little bit difficult for an introvert to say but I have to say it.

When I think about a vision and fighting for your vision I think of the above video. I was about to give up on all of this today but I thought of Will Smith and I thought that I have to protect what I have created. I can't flush it all down the toilet.

You are going to run into hurdles on the way. There are going to be ups and downs and it is how you negotiate the downs that will eventually determine if you succeed or not.

Ichiro and the pursuit of 3000

I was reading this article about Ichiro Suzuki's pursuit of 3000 hits. Ichiro Suzuki is a Major League Baseball player who has played professionally in Japan and North America. Currently he is two safe hits away from 3000 in Major League Baseball. Only 29 players have ever done that in the more than 100 years of Major League Baseball.

There has been some controversy in that Pete Rose who holds the record of over 4000 hits has said that Ichiro's hits in professional baseball in Japan should not count and that he is still the king.

Whatever! American sports seem to like their statistics and with the exception of a few sports, it is only been in the last few years that sports like rugby union and football (soccer) have used statistics on their broadcasts. I wonder if that is an American influence.

What I enjoyed about the article is this sentence:

Ichiro isn’t exactly one to publicly throw shade at other players, nor is he one to say something without thinking it through, so that makes his take on the situation even more intriguing.

What do you think?

Basically he is describing his experience of playing baseball in North America. He said that people will encourage you as you are striving for the record but when you get there they will start attacking you. That's interesting, isn't it? For New Zealanders, doesn't that sound suspiciously like the tall poppy syndrome that our top achievers have to negotiate as they climb the totem pole in their respective professions?

I like the fact that the article says that Ichiro doesn't do anything without thinking about it. I wonder if Ichiro is indeed an introvert as that is one of the characteristics of an introvert.

What we know is that introverts can be very cerebral and they think a lot about things and when something comes out it is usually worth listening to as is shown in this Ichiro example.

Because of his apparent introversion, we know that Ichiro won't be engaging in any media slanging match. He will pick his words carefully and at the end of the day let his bat and his glove do the talking which we should all be doing, letting our tools of our trade do the talking. Unfortunately some people want to tell everyone how good they are or used to be and this sets off these media fights that we see from time to time. They can be entertaining for a short time but then they can just be down right boring.

Pick your battles and if you have to say something, make sure you think about it and choose your words carefully. I know that I don't handle confrontation well so I don't like getting into these kinds of things. I'm sure Ichiro doesn't either.

Hole-in-one golf and salsa dancing

Life is about taking risks. A high percentage of people go through life trying to avoid risks but it is in that risk taking in which learning takes place. You might succeed by taking that risk or you might fail but at the end of the day you would have learnt something which in my book is much better than if you had done nothing at all.

A lot of us introverted people don't like putting our face at there, right? We prefer to stay in the background and just get on with it. Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you, occasionally you have to get out from behind that computer screen or TV screen or smartphone and get out and do something.

I must admit that this blog is quite scary for me because I am putting a lot of personal stuff out there and it is scary because people might judge me for it or want to put me down but I believe that it has to be heard and if there are going to be haters well I have to deal with that. Just by saying that goes against what I am about.

I remember in my second year at high school we had a hole-in-one competition on the school field. Over three days we had to pay one dollar for a chance to win a car. It was on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and we turned up at school on Friday morning and went out to the 'driving range' to have a look. Of course no one wanted to be the first person to have a whack so I stepped up. I don't think I have ever hit the ball worse than that shot on that morning with about 20 people watching. It was quite embarrassing but my point is that I decided to have a go. I took the risk of embarrassment and tried it. Many people both extroverted and introverted wouldn't do it

I have also in the past few years gone to a few salsa dancing classes. One of my friends still gives me grief about it. I must admit I was pretty hopeless. What do they say? I had two left feet would sum that experience up quite nicely. My point is that I gave it a go and found it that it wasn't really for me but I wouldn't have known if I didn't.

Sometimes you have to take that kind of risk. You have to anticipate the ridicule and just try to imagine that you are a duck and the ridicule is water on your back. A lot of the people who like to ridicule you probably want to go to salsa dancing but they are scared that they might not look good while they are doing it, so take that as a sign of confidence in yourself and give it a go.