https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/life/94575135/new-zealanders-dont-mingle-well-at-parties-why
In some of the articles on this website they allow comments. I had a look at some of the comments and I thought that I would address some of them.
For those of you who didn't read the article, it talked about how New Zealanders are pretty terrible at mingling.
So lets have a look at some of the comments from the article:
It's so true I am from the UK and coming here (New Zealand) was hard going in the early days nearly all the friends I made at first were from other countries.
I can understand this one quite well. As some of you might know, I live in Japan and this comment hit the nail on the head for Japan as well. There is the cultural and linguistic barrier first of all but more than that and I think it is the same with the UK person above, when you live in another country, who do you have most in common with? That's correct, people from other countries. Why is that? Because you are going through the same experiences as the other people. You portably have the same frustrations, the same complaints about the local culture. The comment above makes a lot of sense.
You are either good at mingling or not. I like parties where I know someone. It is a good safety net otherwise unless there are other distractions it is a completely lonely and horrible experience.
I can understand exactly where this commentator is coming from however mingling is a skill that can be learned. You can go to a party with strategies that allow you to master small talk and to, god forbid, talk to people who you do not know, although don't talk too friendly because you might get into trouble like the guy in the video below.
I have no problems breaking the ice and starting conversations with strangers. Interestingly I normally receive a good response. I think the problem is not that we have no room or interest in talking to strangers, it's just that everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move. I guess that just shows lack of self confidence.
This person has hit the nail on the head. You will find most people are going to be relieved at a party if you start up a conversation. The trick is not to dominate the conversation by talking and talking and talking and talking. I'm sure we have all had times when we went to a party like that and we couldn't exit ourselves from that person who couldn't stop talking. . The person just went on and on. It was like torture. If you can be a connector also, that makes a great party person.
I am the opposite. I normally head for strangers to meet and greet. Done it all my life and will continue until I die. Love socialising and meeting new people. Normally keeping within your little circle can become monotonous with boring conversation.
Sure as life goes on your circle might grow apart a bit. Some of your circle might get married and have children. While this might be ok with people who are having this experience, the single people or ones with no children might find it difficult. Don't depart from your circle. By all means introduce yourself to different people but remember who was there for you in your difficult times and keep them by your side.
It's so true I am from the UK and coming here was hard going in the early days nearly all the friends I made at first were from other countries. Having travel widely as a young person I can say 10th is article is pretty bang on my experience of kiwi social habits compared to other how people socialize in other parts of the world kiwis do seem very closed group and uneasy talking to strangers
It's so true I am from the UK and coming here was hard going in the early days nearly all the friends I made at first were from other countries. Having travel widely as a young person I can say 10th is article is pretty bang on my experience of kiwi social habits compared to other how people socialize in other parts of the world kiwis do seem very closed group and uneasy talking to strangers
It's so true I am from the UK and coming here was hard going in the early days nearly all the friends I made at first were from other countries. Having travel widely as a young person I can say 10th is article is pretty bang on my experience of kiwi social habits compared to other how people socialize in other parts of the world kiwis do seem very closed group and uneasy talking to strangers
It's so true I am from the UK and coming here was hard going in the early days nearly all the friends I made at first were from other countries. Having travel widely as a young person I can say 10th is article is pretty bang on my experience of kiwi social habits compared to other how people socialize in other parts of the world kiwis do seem very closed group and uneasy talking to strangers
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