SOME INTERESTING PIECES OF ADVICE

This is an interesting article:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1hDiiU/:1QRykrrA:qXIq11Cc/www.raptitude.com/2015/02/67-short-pieces-of-advice-you-didnt-ask-for

Lets have a look at some of the advice and how it relates to introverts and extroverts.

The article as the title suggests gives us some pieces of advice, 67 to be precise.


8. Ask yourself if you've become a relationship freeloader. Initiate the plans about half the time. 

Don't do as I used to do and just wait for the phone to ring because it seldom does. If you want to do something you need to get out there and do something. You have to organise it yourself especially if you are not a natural party animal.


9. Notice how much you talk in your head, and experiment with listening to your surroundings instead. You can't do both at the same time.

I have an ongoing conversation in my head. Sometimes it is interesting but other times it is a waste of time. If I practiced meditation then I could clear my head and it could be great.


10. Reach out to people you know are shy. It's hard for them to get involved in social things without somebody making a point of including them.

I can relate to this the most. In this case I am saying that introverted people are shy even though the two things are very different. Sometimes an introverted person does like to go out and have a few beers and let their hair down but because they are not out all of the time, they are lost in the ether. So if you know someone who would appreciate an invite, do it.


18. Expect people to get offended sometimes when you try to tell them what to do. Even if you think it's good advice.

Some people just don't want to hear it. Some introverted people are not really in tune with the social dynamics of a group. I know I have been guilty of offering unsolicited advice in the past and the other person not wanting to hear it and I can understand what they are thinking. I have kept information in the past from people because I know that the "advice" I would get is something that I don't want to hear.


31. Don't be late. Everyone hates waiting for late people.

I hate this. I really do. With the age of the cell phone we see it more and more. Basically it is a lack of respect and if anyone is late. I would give them 10 minutes, maybe 15 minutes at the most. I'm always interested with the group dynamic of lets say four people. Two of the four will arrive early and chat. One person will arrive right on time, almost to the second while the last one will arrive late and then keep everyone waiting for a few more minutes because they are oblivious to everyone and they want to buy something from the convenience store because they didn't have time to do it before. It is very annoying.


35. Make a point of sitting and chatting with at least one local whenever you travel. It will transform your view of the place.

I remember I was in London a few years ago and I spent the afternoon and part of the evening with a local. It was a lot of fun. He showed me around places that tourists probably wouldn't go to and my understanding of London was a lot better.


51. Avoid being the least sober person in the room, unless you're the only person in the room.

It is not cool being absolutely pissed. (For American readers, this means drunk. It doesn't mean angry.) Being the drunkest person in the room is never cool and believe me, that picture of you will last for a long time in other people's minds and it may never go. By all means drink but drink to enjoy not too excess.

52. Go to New York, at least once.

I've never been to New York City although I have set foot in New York state. I remember from the song sunscreen that the guy giving the speech recommends living in New York once but to leave before it makes you hard. I can make a good guess to what that means. Maybe I should make that a goal to do in the next year or so. Anyone care to join me?

55. If life ever feels like it's too loud and busy, go hang out at the library.

I am writing this in a library. It is a good place to relax and get some serious work done without the noise of the street 37 floors below. Although this library isn't the greatest for books you can find some that are of interest and even now you can hire DVDs and the like.

57. If you think dancing isn't for you, try it again sometimes.

What is that saying? 'Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. Love like you have never been hurt.' Get out there and do some dancing. You will feel a lot better about yourself, believe me. I used to go to salsa dancing lessons and I was absolutely hopeless and my friend still gives me grief about it but at least i gave it a go and I am proud of that fact.

64. Try not to let a week go by without having lunch or coffee with a friend. 

As an introvert, it is really easy to shut yourself off from the rest of the world. I know. I have done it before. However, you do have friends who care for you and love you and you should go out and spend time with them before it is too late.

Have you heard of peacocking?

Peacocking? Have you heard of it? No, it's not the following:

Peacocking is a term that was used in the early 2000's in the online seduction community. They believed that if you dressed a bit outlandishly you could attract the attention of a woman and hence maybe have the opportunity to mate (have sex) with her. Very much like the peacock itself attracts a mate.

I'll let Wiktionary define peacocking for you:

Ostentatious dress or behaviour employed by a man in an attempt to impress women.

If you are still a bit confused by this all, let Howard Wolowitz explain it to you:

Do you get the idea?

You don't have to wear a flowery shirt or an eye patch, although if you do, please send me a photo, you just need to do something that is a little bit unusual.

Now, I must admit when I first heard of this I felt really anxious about the whole thing so rather than diving in at the deep end you could wear something a little bit different like wearing red socks or how about wearing different coloured socks like the following guy:

(By the way, this video in no way is a show of support for Bill Cosby in the ongoing sexual related allegations against him. It is just a way to show the different coloured socks.)

What are you going to do to stand out? What are you going to do to get the attention of people who seem to be endlessly looking at their smartphones?

The Hong Kong Sevens (香港國際七人欖球賽)

If I asked you what is the most popular annual rugby tournament in the world, would you be able to answer?

Some people might guess that it is the Bledisloe Cup or the Calcutta Cup or something similar.

I would have to say that it is none of them. It is the Hong Kong Sevens.

I've always wanted to go and watch until I realised that it isn't really about the rugby at all and the fact that I don't actually like sevens rugby anyway.

What do I mean, that it isn't about the rugby?

Sevens rugby around the world seems to be one big party with Hong Kong being the king of the sevens circuit. Spectators get dressed up in their best fancy dress and then do their best to drink the bar dry. I think that some of them get close to doing it too.

The whole point of this is that their are some events out there where you need to have significant amounts of energy to 'survive' it. These tournaments can go on for two or three days and remember as introverts that if you do go you may need to excuse yourself on a couple of times because these tournaments can be quite stimulating and you need to recharge.

If you can, remove yourself from the action for just a few moments, this will allow you the moment of recharging so you can rejoin the party and continue the liquid refreshments if that is your way to party.

ANZAC Day 2018 - Lest we Forget

Dear Grandad, Dear Poppa

I thought that I would use this day to say G'day and I hope that you are both doing well wherever you are.

Grandad, I think of you most days as I live near a Dunlop stockist. Everyday I walk past the store and think of you in the office in Princess Street.

I also wonder what you would think of the T20 cricket that dominates the cricketing landscape these days. You would probably be fascinated by it all. 

Poppa, I never did (and still don't) share your fondness of grapefruit and gin but I still like watching rugby.

Three months ago you would have been reunited with Nan. I hope you two are enjoying your time together again. One of my favourite memories of you was our last time at Mount Maunganui together. I was only 11 but I remember that holiday like it was only yesterday. 

Today I want to say thank you to both of you. You both left New Zealand shores when you were young. You both went to places that you had never been to before and probably never went to again. You went their for your country and for your family and because you believed in something. Because of you, both myself and your other grandchildren are able to live lives of freedom and opportunity. We take it for granted but we have both of you to thank for it.

Love Blair.


April 25th, 2018.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT INTROVERTS

OK everyone. Please listen up. There are a few things that you need to know about introverts. So here goes:

1. Just because an introvert doesn't want to spend every minute of every day with you, it doesn't me that he or she doesn't love you. It just means that they need space. They need alone time. What is wrong with that?

2. If you accept an introvert for who they are, they will love you and you will never have anyone who is as loyal as an introvert. You will find that some extroverts have "hundreds" of friends whereas introverts have a handful but they are loyal to them all.

3. If you are in an introvert's life you must be pretty special to him or her. Don't forget that. Introverts don't let many people into their lives.

4. I know that I hate confrontation and introverts hate confrontation so don't expect any results by forcing an introvert to answer. They will clam up, believe me.

5. Introverts are known as great listeners (although in saying that, I am probably not so great at it) so remember to give them the same courtesy. If you do this, you might learn something about your introverted friend that you have never heard before.

6. Introverts energise by being alone. Always, always, always remember that. They need that alone time and don't take it as an insult because it is not. You trying to get an introvert to hang out is the insult.

7. Introverts are extremely loyal when they LOVE someone. They will do anything for you and they expect that same loyalty in return. If you question or take that loyalty for granted then you will create and enemy and that is never good.

If you remember these seven things, you will have an introvert as a friend for life and we can always have one more friend, right?

DO YOU ORDER TO SHARE OR ORDER FOR YOURSELF?

Watch the above video. Go ahead. I'll wait until you finish. Come on, push that play button. What are you scared of?

What did you think? Can you relate? I'm willing to bet that there are two types of people out there.

Which one are you?

Are you the one who wants to stick all the orders in the middle of the table and share it or are you the one (Smithy) who likes to eat what he ordered?

I'll tell you which one I am, I with Smithy on this one.

Lets forget about the size of Smithy's order for a couple of minutes. That's irrelevant to this scene. What I see however is someone who has thought about what he wants to eat and he has ordered. Probably, a couple of the items on that menu are unusual.

Unusual? I hear you ask. Yes, unusual. Most people when they order takeaway food like this are not very creative and they are not into taking risks so they will order the same thing, time and time again. Then they see that someone has ordered something that is not usual and they are curious, they want it. No risk, right? They will take it and I'll tell you from experience, it really pisses you off. Well it pissed me off time and time again.

I'll give you an example. When I was growing up, the New Zealand example of the above scene was fish and chips.

As the name would suggest, fish and chips is deep fried fish and French fries. You can see it in the above photo. Also on the menu were hot dogs and later on they started offering hamburgers. You know typical kiwi hamburgers with beetroot in them. My favourite was the egg burger.

One of the interesting menu items was donuts. At that time in New Zealand donuts were spelt doughnuts and looked like the following:

Mmmmmmmmmm, DELICIOUS.

However at the fish and chip shop they sold donuts which looked like this:

These were quite unusual in New Zealand at the time so when I ordered one people would want some because it wan't very popular and they wanted to try it which as you can imagine annoyed the hell out of me because I wanted to eat it which is why I ordered it.

I think the Smithy scene is relevant to not only ordering Indian or Chinese or whatever food. We just do the same thing over and over again. Why? Because it is comfortable. We think, better the devil we know rather than branching out and risking looking like an idiot and believe it or not applies to ordering donuts from the fish and chip shop.

How many times have you gone to a Thai restaurant (I'm amazed westerners started going to Thai restaurants in the first place) and ordered the same thing that you had last time. I know that I do which is sometimes I will trust the other person to order for me because then I will get something that  I have never tried before. It is like a culinary adventure.

If you want to try something different or you want to try and do something different, go ahead and do it. Get out of that funk you are it. Who knows, you might change you life, just by ordering a donut as opposed to two pieces of fish because that is what you always do.

I'll leave you with a photo of a hot dog. MMMMMMM. Is it lunch time yet?

DRINKING TO IMPRESS - NOT A GOOD IDEA

This is a very interesting article:

https://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/tv-radio/103280123/i-was-a-functioning-alcoholic-breakfast-host-hayley-holt-opens-up-about-the-booze

For those of you who are not so enthusiastic to read this article let me summarise it.

New Zealand television host Hayley Holt tells us that she was an alcoholic and has now been sober for more than three years.

Why did she decide to drink so much?

Because she thought that was the way to fit in with her social group. She said that she was shy, self-conscious and maybe even a little introverted. So to fit in, she said that she drank so that she could be part of that group.

One of the most interesting parts of that article was she said that all of her friends were cool and popular.

I would argue that some, if not all of them probably had self-esteem issues and like Hayley they may have hidden it, not through alcohol but by acting.

We all have our insecurities. We all have our little things that worry us but at the end of the day it is how we cope with these things. How we get over them is what counts.

Hayley Holt said that she used alcohol. She used the old Dutch courage to get over it which is not the best thing to do. The good thing is that she realised it and stopped and that takes a lot of guts and who knows, only she does, she might have lost a few friends because of it which suggests that they weren't her real friends anyway.

It's almost become a bit of a cliche but you are not going to find answers at the bottom of a bottle or glass.

By all means, go out but only if you WANT to. That's the key. Don't think that you have to be a boozer. Don't think that you have to have hundreds of friends. Don't think that you have to drink to be friends.

Your true friends will respect your true self. Your true friends will respect that you don't want to imbibe alcohol on that particular day.

I say well done to Hayley Holt for coming out and telling her story.

Be true to yourself and don't drink alcohol if you don't want to.