Hello Ladies.
Today's post is for you. I know I have written for men a few times in the past, however, today is for you and I hope that you get something out of it.
It wouldn't shock you to hear that men and women are different. (WOW! What are profound statement Blair.)
Seriously, I think that some people need to hear this on occasions because we do forget it.
So, ladies, how do you know that he really loves you?
Well, I suggest looking for these things. (By the way, don't just feel it. You will get yourself into a lot of trouble and regret if you do that.)
1. He will listen his ears off
I must admit that I am not the best listener even though they say that introverts are good listeners but when I am really into someone, I will 100% listen to you. And don't worry, I'm not going to solve your problems because we know that you don't want that. Although in saying that I have asked this question before, "Do you want me to listen as a man or a woman?" That confused her for a few second until I said that I can solve her problem or just listen. On second thoughts, I wouldn't suggest asking that too much.
2. He will compromise
Now, I know that some women lose attraction for a man if he stops doing things that he really loves to do but that suggests that you weren't very into him in the fist place and you were just stringing him along which I say "shame on you." If a man really loves you, he will compromise on a few things because he knows that they are important to you. I've seen men move to live with women in their hometowns. Now that is a big compromise. Do you think that he would do that if he was only 50% into you.
3. He will contact you regularly
Now I know that 50 texts a day is not good for anyone but a guy will check in from time to time just to see how you are. He will check in because he likes to feel you as you like to feel him as you like to feel his love.
4. You are family
A guy who is really into you will make you part of his family. He will invite you to family gatherings like birthdays, BBQs and Christmas. Hopefully, he has a loving enough family that because he loves you then there is no judgement on his family's part because they love him unconditionally and they will accept you unconditionally as well. If he invites you home for Christmas, take it. That is a big deal for you and him.
5. Presents have a reason
If someone really loves you they would have put in a lot of thought into gifts that they have got you. They might have even made it themselves. If they have, that shows real love. In Japan, the whole Valentine's Day tradition is that the woman gives chocolate to the man. So if you get store bought chocolate, then look for someone else. If she has taken the time to make something, then you are a lucky man. It is the same with men. If the thought is there, does it have to be an expensive gift?
6. You will have all the support that you can handle
If a guy really loves you, he will help you. He will do anything for you. If you take this for granted, then you are nothing but a user and you do not deserve him at all.
7. A man loves to make you laugh
There is nothing better for a man than to see his woman smiling and laughing. There is nothing better than to see his woman happy and full of life. Your man might play the fool sometimes but rest assured he is doing it for your entertainment and your wellness.
8. You are his priority
When it is all said and done, if a man really loves you he will make you his priority over any other person. Of course he will go out with some of his mates from time to time and you should let him because he will resent you if you don't let him, just like he should let you have the girl's night out too on occasions.
Thursday, 7 June 2018
Wednesday, 6 June 2018
IS HONESTY ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY?
Today, I have a question, so today this post is going to be short and sweet.
This is a problem that I'm sure most introverts have and it because that we are not very proficient in the ways of society.
There are certain rules (I don't know who makes these rules) that people don't like broken in society.
Let me ask you a question:
Why is it that everyone appreciates your honesty until the time that you are honest with them and then you are an arsehole in their eyes?
I suppose at the end of the day people don't want to hear the truth. They would prefer that you are diplomatic. Like this:
At the end of the day, there are certain things that you can and can't do in society and there are certain things that can and can't say. You have to decide what they are.
This is a problem that I'm sure most introverts have and it because that we are not very proficient in the ways of society.
There are certain rules (I don't know who makes these rules) that people don't like broken in society.
Let me ask you a question:
Why is it that everyone appreciates your honesty until the time that you are honest with them and then you are an arsehole in their eyes?
I suppose at the end of the day people don't want to hear the truth. They would prefer that you are diplomatic. Like this:
At the end of the day, there are certain things that you can and can't do in society and there are certain things that can and can't say. You have to decide what they are.
Tuesday, 5 June 2018
LIVING IN AN EXTROVERTED WORLD
https://www.instagram.com/p/BfPXNH-BNlQ/?taken-by=understandintroverts
In the above link there is a very interesting quote. Let me write it out for you:
"I am not quiet, at all, or shy. I just don't feel like I have anything substantive to contribute at this time so I'm abstaining from polluting the environment with pointless noise emanating from my mouth. I wish everyone would do the same."
I'm not sure who said this but they are 10000000% correct. Why should someone who has nothing to say be forced into saying something because the chatterboxes around us feel uncomfortable when we are not saying anything?
The ironic thing is that, introverts are uncomfortable when someone around them is speaking at 1000 miles an hour. But that's OK because they are talking.
For some reason, we value noise pollution more than we value silence. Why is that?
We live in an extroverted world, don't we? I don't think we can change that but we can make people (especially the talkative ones) aware that not everyone is the same and not everyone wants to listen to your bullshit.
In the above link there is a very interesting quote. Let me write it out for you:
"I am not quiet, at all, or shy. I just don't feel like I have anything substantive to contribute at this time so I'm abstaining from polluting the environment with pointless noise emanating from my mouth. I wish everyone would do the same."
I'm not sure who said this but they are 10000000% correct. Why should someone who has nothing to say be forced into saying something because the chatterboxes around us feel uncomfortable when we are not saying anything?
The ironic thing is that, introverts are uncomfortable when someone around them is speaking at 1000 miles an hour. But that's OK because they are talking.
For some reason, we value noise pollution more than we value silence. Why is that?
We live in an extroverted world, don't we? I don't think we can change that but we can make people (especially the talkative ones) aware that not everyone is the same and not everyone wants to listen to your bullshit.
Monday, 4 June 2018
Never Give Up or Never Give In? It doesn't matter. It still is the same message.
It is said that former UK prime minister, Winston Churchill got up one day to give a speech and told everyone to "Never, Never, Never give up."
Whether this is true or not, I'm not sure, apparently is it not. Apparently he spoke for about 20 minutes and said the following:
"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never - in nothing great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense."
Whether Winston Churchill said "in" or "up" is irrelevant. What we can get from this is don't ever give up on your dreams and of the things that you know to be right.
When you know in your mind and in your heart and in your gut that it is the right thing to do, don't give up on it even if the odds seem to be against you. Don't give up!
I know I am not going to.
Sunday, 3 June 2018
IS IT BETTER TO BE COLD?
A few years ago, I read a book by Tim Ferriss called The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman.
First of all, he knows how to market it doesn't he? Weight loss, Sex, Superhuman! Who wouldn't want to read this book? I know I did. (A couple of times.)
One of the things I got out of the book was the idea of the ice bath. You fill your bathtub with cold water, throw some ice in the water and get in for 20 minutes. For some people reading that, it sounds like torture, right? I tried it a few times and it wasn't too bad. I think the problem was that I didn't have enough ice in the bath so even though the water was cold it wasn't ice cold. Also, it wasn't very pleasant.
My friend says that you should try something that you intend to do for the rest of your life. For example, don't just go on a diet that you will follow for two weeks, you should try and do something that is sustainable for the rest of your life. So maybe 20 minute ice baths were not the best but what I have discovered this week is that cold showers are the thing now.
So this week I started taking cold showers, both in the morning and after my gym sessions. So far I have had 12 cold showers and I tell you the first couple were pretty difficult. The word torture comes to mind but I managed to get through and the initial few seconds is the worst but after that it is pretty easy.
I've found out that there are some benefits to cold showers (which I think are harder than an ice bath):
1. It wakes you up. Imagine jumping into a freezing cold pond first thing in the morning. You are going to be wide awake. Same thing.
2. It is good for your skin and hair. I'm not sure about my skin yet but I have noticed even after only 12 times that my usually dry hair is not so dry anymore and it feels a lot more smoother than normal.
3. Good for weight loss. We shall see but I can sort of understand the science behind it.
4. Accelerates muscle soreness and recovery. Professional athletes talk about having an ice bath after a game. Hydrotherapy and all that. They seem to be still doing it so it must work although in saying that, I was sore all last week from working out at the gym. Cold showers did not work at all.
This might not be for everyone but I do suggest to give it go. You never what you might find out about yourself.
First of all, he knows how to market it doesn't he? Weight loss, Sex, Superhuman! Who wouldn't want to read this book? I know I did. (A couple of times.)
One of the things I got out of the book was the idea of the ice bath. You fill your bathtub with cold water, throw some ice in the water and get in for 20 minutes. For some people reading that, it sounds like torture, right? I tried it a few times and it wasn't too bad. I think the problem was that I didn't have enough ice in the bath so even though the water was cold it wasn't ice cold. Also, it wasn't very pleasant.
My friend says that you should try something that you intend to do for the rest of your life. For example, don't just go on a diet that you will follow for two weeks, you should try and do something that is sustainable for the rest of your life. So maybe 20 minute ice baths were not the best but what I have discovered this week is that cold showers are the thing now.
So this week I started taking cold showers, both in the morning and after my gym sessions. So far I have had 12 cold showers and I tell you the first couple were pretty difficult. The word torture comes to mind but I managed to get through and the initial few seconds is the worst but after that it is pretty easy.
I've found out that there are some benefits to cold showers (which I think are harder than an ice bath):
1. It wakes you up. Imagine jumping into a freezing cold pond first thing in the morning. You are going to be wide awake. Same thing.
2. It is good for your skin and hair. I'm not sure about my skin yet but I have noticed even after only 12 times that my usually dry hair is not so dry anymore and it feels a lot more smoother than normal.
3. Good for weight loss. We shall see but I can sort of understand the science behind it.
4. Accelerates muscle soreness and recovery. Professional athletes talk about having an ice bath after a game. Hydrotherapy and all that. They seem to be still doing it so it must work although in saying that, I was sore all last week from working out at the gym. Cold showers did not work at all.
This might not be for everyone but I do suggest to give it go. You never what you might find out about yourself.
Saturday, 2 June 2018
THESE ARE THINGS INTROVERTS WANT YOU TO KNOW
Dear Extroverted people,
Here are some things that us, introverts want you to know.
1. We don't need to be around people all the time. We do need time to ourselves.
2. Just because I am not saying anything doesn't mean I'm bored. Who says that I should be yelling from the rooftops and shouting in your ear to prove that I am enjoying myself?
3. I'm not anti-social. I will go out with you when the time is right and when there is a reason and Dear Mr./Ms. Extrovert, because it is Friday does not make it a reason. Am I clear?
4. Going to a party is not my go to when I want to socialise. Dancing and boozing with 300 of my "closest" friends is not my way of enjoying myself I am sorry to say. You go to the party. You go and dance and rule the floor. I'll see you tomorrow.
5. Introverts hate to be interrupted. Hey! It has taken us a lot to step outside out comfort zone and talk and you have the gall to interrupt us. No wonder us introverts forget what we are going to say after you have had yours (in the middle of ours).
6. Introverts are not shy...... PERIOD.
7. Extroverts, we take a little longer than "normal" to enter a conversation. Be patient for god sake. Just because we are not bullshitting at 100 miles an hour doesn't mean we have nothing worthwhile to say.
8. Silence does not equal depression. Far from it. We just have nothing to say. Is that OK? Or are you desperate for the introverts to say something until we say something un-PC and you guys get all defensive and uncomfortable. It's your fault.
Please remember these things when you are talking to an introvert. And shut up too. You might actually learn something.
Here are some things that us, introverts want you to know.
1. We don't need to be around people all the time. We do need time to ourselves.
2. Just because I am not saying anything doesn't mean I'm bored. Who says that I should be yelling from the rooftops and shouting in your ear to prove that I am enjoying myself?
3. I'm not anti-social. I will go out with you when the time is right and when there is a reason and Dear Mr./Ms. Extrovert, because it is Friday does not make it a reason. Am I clear?
4. Going to a party is not my go to when I want to socialise. Dancing and boozing with 300 of my "closest" friends is not my way of enjoying myself I am sorry to say. You go to the party. You go and dance and rule the floor. I'll see you tomorrow.
5. Introverts hate to be interrupted. Hey! It has taken us a lot to step outside out comfort zone and talk and you have the gall to interrupt us. No wonder us introverts forget what we are going to say after you have had yours (in the middle of ours).
6. Introverts are not shy...... PERIOD.
7. Extroverts, we take a little longer than "normal" to enter a conversation. Be patient for god sake. Just because we are not bullshitting at 100 miles an hour doesn't mean we have nothing worthwhile to say.
8. Silence does not equal depression. Far from it. We just have nothing to say. Is that OK? Or are you desperate for the introverts to say something until we say something un-PC and you guys get all defensive and uncomfortable. It's your fault.
Please remember these things when you are talking to an introvert. And shut up too. You might actually learn something.
Friday, 1 June 2018
Things that Introverts hate to hear
If you identify yourself as being an introvert, there is probably a number of things that you have heard of a regular basis. Lets go through some of them now:
"You're so quiet."
This is one thing that really gets my goat. Some people, usually extroverts expect other people to be talking all the time. They expect scintillating conversation about some boring topic that is cool but doesn't advance the intellectual capabilities of either party so when an introvert doesn't have anything to say about the Kardashians, they are considered quiet.
"Why don't you ever want to go out?"
When people suggest going out on a Friday or Saturday night, it is usually to a noisy bar or nightclub where people shout at each other and have those annoying small talks that introverts love so much. (Note the sarcasm.) Extroverts just don't understand that introverts can't handle all of these stimulation. It is too much. They are drained of energy very quickly.
"You're just shy."
Not talking much does not equal shy. Not talking much means that he or she has nothing to say. They can't contribute to the conversation very well at all. When I went to the bar or nightclub I was told that I was shy. I wouldn't approach women. What the problem was I could't hear what the woman was saying. The environment was so stimulating that it was just not a good situation for me and also the fact that I couldn't bullshit (small talk) meant that my success rate at those places was minimal.
"Why do you spend so much time alone?"
Introvertism 101 = introverts energise by either being alone or with one other person or in a small group. Any other questions?
"You should socialise more."
By socialise, you mean what? Believe it or not, everyone is different on this piece of rock hurtling through space at 107,000 km/h. What does socialise mean? With social media we can all socialise by using those different apps now. For example, interacting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, hey even Tinder and Bumble. Also, socialising doesn't mean meeting up at the local bar for a few brews with some mates. For some people that might mean socialise but for introverts it can mean having two of their closest friends over for dinner. That's socialising, isn't it? Or do you need to be a loud venue with 500 people?
"Are you ok? Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm ok. Are you ok?"
I don't get this one. Just because you are not spending you entire life talking the ear off the people around you. It doesn't mean that you are sick or ill or bad in any way.
As they say, Silence is Golden.
"You're so quiet."
This is one thing that really gets my goat. Some people, usually extroverts expect other people to be talking all the time. They expect scintillating conversation about some boring topic that is cool but doesn't advance the intellectual capabilities of either party so when an introvert doesn't have anything to say about the Kardashians, they are considered quiet.
"Why don't you ever want to go out?"
When people suggest going out on a Friday or Saturday night, it is usually to a noisy bar or nightclub where people shout at each other and have those annoying small talks that introverts love so much. (Note the sarcasm.) Extroverts just don't understand that introverts can't handle all of these stimulation. It is too much. They are drained of energy very quickly.
"You're just shy."
Not talking much does not equal shy. Not talking much means that he or she has nothing to say. They can't contribute to the conversation very well at all. When I went to the bar or nightclub I was told that I was shy. I wouldn't approach women. What the problem was I could't hear what the woman was saying. The environment was so stimulating that it was just not a good situation for me and also the fact that I couldn't bullshit (small talk) meant that my success rate at those places was minimal.
"Why do you spend so much time alone?"
Introvertism 101 = introverts energise by either being alone or with one other person or in a small group. Any other questions?
"You should socialise more."
By socialise, you mean what? Believe it or not, everyone is different on this piece of rock hurtling through space at 107,000 km/h. What does socialise mean? With social media we can all socialise by using those different apps now. For example, interacting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, hey even Tinder and Bumble. Also, socialising doesn't mean meeting up at the local bar for a few brews with some mates. For some people that might mean socialise but for introverts it can mean having two of their closest friends over for dinner. That's socialising, isn't it? Or do you need to be a loud venue with 500 people?
"Are you ok? Why are you so quiet?"
"I'm ok. Are you ok?"
I don't get this one. Just because you are not spending you entire life talking the ear off the people around you. It doesn't mean that you are sick or ill or bad in any way.
As they say, Silence is Golden.
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