What is Shyness?
Shyness is when the person feels awkward or tense or worried in social situations. Maybe they get tongue tied when they want to talk and they can't get it out what they want to say.
People who are really shy may blush, they might find their heart pounding or they might start sweating profusely.
Shy people desperately want to connect with people but they don't know how to and they don't want to feel the anxiety that is associated with meeting and interacting with people that they don't know well.
What is Introversion?
Introversion is about how a person reenergises. An introvert is more interested n being alone or with some close friend.
Introverts get really drained by social events and if they had a choice they would prefer to stay in, at home netflixing and chilling and by that I mean that they actually watch the movie not have sex.
Introversion and extroversion is about how you recharge yourself.
What is Schizoid?
Schizoid is a personality disorder. These kind of people don't really want to have social relationships.
These people tend to be cold to other people. They might appear to be aloof and also indifferent to other people.
Lets look at these in more depth in later posts.
Saturday, 30 September 2017
Friday, 29 September 2017
TREAT EVERYBODY THE SAME
I was in a convenience store this morning and was a little annoyed with the service I received at the particular shop.
I would like to admit firstly, that I do find the service in Japan at some times to be quite robotic. I believe in the type of service, if you can make the service experience unique for every customer then you are doing something right. I know if you are serving hundreds of people a night, you can find it to be a little difficult but we can only hope.
This morning however I received no greeting and I wasn't even told the price of my purchase (¥173).
There was another customer behind me in line. I stuck around for a few seconds to listen and he was given a greeting and was told what the price was.
Why wasn't I given the same courtesy?
I think that all comes down to not judging a book by it's cover.
Just because the person in front of you is black, white, brown, red, pink or purple, it doesn't mean that they won't understand your culture or language.
Treat everyone the same. I think that is great advice.
I was watching a video recently. It was made for men when communicating with women. Some men will talk to a woman they perceive to be 'out of their league' in a different way to someone that they are not attracted to. In reality you should talk to everyone the same. It doesn't matter how high on the 'hotness' scale you think they are.
The same applies to people. Just because you don't think he or she can speak your language, just talk to them like you would talk to anyone. If they don't understand you, then they will tell you (or show you).
Treat everybody the same. That's it. Simple.
I would like to admit firstly, that I do find the service in Japan at some times to be quite robotic. I believe in the type of service, if you can make the service experience unique for every customer then you are doing something right. I know if you are serving hundreds of people a night, you can find it to be a little difficult but we can only hope.
This morning however I received no greeting and I wasn't even told the price of my purchase (¥173).
There was another customer behind me in line. I stuck around for a few seconds to listen and he was given a greeting and was told what the price was.
Why wasn't I given the same courtesy?
I think that all comes down to not judging a book by it's cover.
Just because the person in front of you is black, white, brown, red, pink or purple, it doesn't mean that they won't understand your culture or language.
Treat everyone the same. I think that is great advice.
I was watching a video recently. It was made for men when communicating with women. Some men will talk to a woman they perceive to be 'out of their league' in a different way to someone that they are not attracted to. In reality you should talk to everyone the same. It doesn't matter how high on the 'hotness' scale you think they are.
The same applies to people. Just because you don't think he or she can speak your language, just talk to them like you would talk to anyone. If they don't understand you, then they will tell you (or show you).
Treat everybody the same. That's it. Simple.
Wednesday, 27 September 2017
Each person is different
I don't have any children but I was asked the other day if I did have children, would I expect them to play rugby or cricket or something similar.
My answer to that was of course, "No."
If I did have a child who wanted to play cricket or rugby then of course that would be great but they might not want to play team sports. They might want to play an individual sport. They might want to do the shot put or play badminton. They might not even want to play sport, they might want to do some kind of music or dance or something like that.
Why should you push them into playing a team sport? Why should you push them into joining an orchestra?
Just because that's what you did growing up, doesn't mean that they will want to do it.
Remember they might be more comfortable doing something by themselves.
They might prefer this:
To this:
Tuesday, 26 September 2017
VISUALISE IT! ACHIEVE IT!
"By visualising your goal already completed, you flip your mind onto the frequency that contains the way that it will be attracted to you." - Bob Proctor
Visualisation is the secret. You need to see it in your mind first. As the patron saint of the self development movement, Napoleon Hill said:
"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve." - Napoleon Hill
That's it, isn't it? You have to see it first in your mind and then go from there.
I wonder what Walt Disney saw in his mind when he conceived Disneyland.
We do live in an extroverted society and sometimes you need to "come out of your shell."
What is the first step? Well, you visualise yourself in different situations. You play over in your mind what you want to say or are going to say. Think about your surroundings and how you feel about the moment.
That's a great first step. Now visualise it many times and it will happen, I assure you.
To end this post, lets hear from Bob Proctor again:
"See yourself where you want to be and then be there. Don't be in the past. Be there! Act like the person you want to become." - Art of Living pg. 87 Bob Proctor
Visualisation is the secret. You need to see it in your mind first. As the patron saint of the self development movement, Napoleon Hill said:
"Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve." - Napoleon Hill
That's it, isn't it? You have to see it first in your mind and then go from there.
I wonder what Walt Disney saw in his mind when he conceived Disneyland.
We do live in an extroverted society and sometimes you need to "come out of your shell."
What is the first step? Well, you visualise yourself in different situations. You play over in your mind what you want to say or are going to say. Think about your surroundings and how you feel about the moment.
That's a great first step. Now visualise it many times and it will happen, I assure you.
To end this post, lets hear from Bob Proctor again:
"See yourself where you want to be and then be there. Don't be in the past. Be there! Act like the person you want to become." - Art of Living pg. 87 Bob Proctor
Monday, 25 September 2017
Introvert v Extrovert: What are the differences?
Regular readers of this blog will know what the difference is between introverts and extroverts. If you are not a regular reader here is the basic difference:
INTROVERT: recharge by themselves or with a small group
EXTROVERT: Love to socialise and grow more energised with every beer or cocktail at a party.
Here are some more differences:
INTROVERT:
INTROVERT: recharge by themselves or with a small group
EXTROVERT: Love to socialise and grow more energised with every beer or cocktail at a party.
Here are some more differences:
INTROVERT:
- Thoughtful
- Learn through observation
- Good listener
- Reserved
- Self aware
- Love time alone
EXTROVERT
- Outgoing
- Good speaker
- Comfortable in large groups of people
- Lots of friends
- Energised by large groups of people
- Like getting into new activities
Lets have a look at some of these.
Introverts are indeed thoughtful. I wish I got paid for all the thinking I do. I would retire pretty quickly.
Introverts are certainly reserved. You won't see many jumping up and down and dancing in their seats at an Ellen show. (Well you might but they won't be enjoying it much.)
Introverts do indeed love time alone or with a significant other. They feel really energised with this interaction. They also like it because they can give the other person there full attention. They don't have to share their attention around which can be very difficult.
Extroverts are outgoing, there is no doubt about that. They will be the ones that break the ice at a party and there is nothing wrong with that.
They love being the centre of attention. One of the most extroverted people I have ever met, I remember seeing her in the middle of the dance floor at a club a few years ago. She was just loving the atmosphere and it was like she was being filled with petrol every minute she was there.
Extroverts have a lot of friends. No little intimate dinner parties for them. "Table for four?" No way. They want to have a party with one hundred of their "closest" friends. They love it and the party will go on all night.
They one item in the above lists that I'm not so sure about is the 'Good Speaker' point. Sure, extroverts made good speakers in an informal group at a party. They can hold fort with the best of them but when it comes to speaking formally in front of a large group of people it doesn't matter. I know that in the past I was more comfortable speaking in front of large group of people than one on one.
There you have it some of the differences between introverts and extroverts. Which one do you see yourself as?
Saturday, 23 September 2017
Do I (and you) really need to know this stuff?
I saw this article the other day. 37 Rules all Men Must Know. I read this with interest. I wondered what these rules were and I wondered if I follow them or not.
Anyway, here is the list with my thoughts on some of them.
What do you think?
1. Know what you want. Don’t go around asking for approval. - I agree with this one, 100%. I read a quote recently and I think that it really applies here - "It is easier to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission." This is so true.
2. Always love and respect your parents. - I love ya' Mum and Dad. See you at Christmas time.
3. Never cheat on your girlfriend/wife. - Yep. When I hear stories of both men and women cheating on their significant others, especially married couples it makes me think that they shouldn't have got married in the first place.
4. On the bus always give up your seat to the elderly, pregnant women, and mothers with their kids. - I live in Tokyo, Japan and as you can probably imagine a lot of time is taken travelling in the train. There are, like I suspect in many big cities, priority seats on the train for the elderly etc. I try not to sit in these seats and obey the rules around them. i.e. cell phones near these seats.
5. Don’t lend money to your family. Give it.
6. Don’t put others down. - I agree with this one. Why do it? I have no problem joking with someone as long as you are close to them and they know what the joke is and you are sure that they won't take it to heart.
7.Don’t participate in gossip. - Yep. Why do it? https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2017/09/get-rid-of-these-bad-habits.html
8. Exercise. - I went to Crossfit this morning. This might not be everyone's cup of tea so pick something that you enjoy and you get it going. This one is non-negotiable.
9. At the gym wear nice clothes. You will interact with a lot of different kinds of professionals there and first impressions are everything. - What's the point of this one? I don't get it. Surely the first impression is probably how much you bench as opposed to what t-shirt you are wearing.
10. Don’t ever take selfies. - Take them. Who cares? If you want to take a selfie, take a bloody selfie.
11. In emails and texts don’t use short form. -Yep, I agree with this one. This applies to women as well as men. What is so uncool about proper grammar?
12.No matter how mad you may be at your family, keep it in the family.
13. Don’t brag.
14. Listen. Girls like to talk about themselves. All I can say about this is YES!!!!
15. Never use the term: “Shit happens.” Put in more efforts into comforting that person.
16. If talking to someone you don’t want to, make a polite excuse and leave. - There is nothing wrong with this. Why waste your time with someone that doesn't add value to your life at all?
17. Never talk religion with anyone. Keep it to yourself. - No comment.
18. Don’t follow others. - I agree with this one big time. This one is really difficult to follow if you know what I mean. When you don't follow the herd you put yourself out there for ridicule but you need to, to get where you want.
19. Don’t waste your life away being on your phone and computer all the time. - I am guilty of this. So why don't you and I take one day off from your phone and computer a week? How would that work? Maybe you could choose a Sunday and throw away the phone.
20. When making plans, call. Don’t text. - Texting can be a big pain in the ass. As it seems to take forever to organise anything, so just make the call and get it over with. If the other person doesn't like it. Tell them to go and get stuffed.
21. Know how to fix things around the house.
22. Don’t be intimidated by anyone.
23. Know how to fight. - By fight, do you mean with your mouth? You mean have good debating skills? I hope this one has nothing to do with your fists.
24. Have hobbies. - If you don't have hobbies, what do you do with your time? By the way, sleeping is not a hobby. That's like saying that your hobby is going to the toilet. I can accept that eating is a hobby as people like to go to different types of restaurants.
25. Don’t be afraid to go and watch a movie alone. - It is OK to do things alone. You don't need to be in a group of people all the time. You need that time alone and you need that solitude and if you don't, don't give people who need to be alone grief for not wanting to join your social activities.
26. Learn to be patient and relaxed.
27. Never stop learning new skills. - Learn a language. Learn how to code. Any other ideas?
28. Read books and keep the mind fresh.
29. Read the newspaper. - Does anyone read newspapers these days? I know I get all my news from the Internet. I suppose the newspaper does have everything in one place.
30. You don’t need a reason to buy your mom flowers. - Happy Birthday Mum.
31. Never split the check. Always pay it. - If she offers, I'd take it. What's wrong with that? I think it is nice.
32. Play chess at least twice a week. Keeps the mind super fresh. - I can't remember the last time I played chess.
33. Buy your mom flowers for no reason.
34. Own a pair of expensive sunglasses, gloves and nice scarf. -How does your sunglasses brand mean anything about what kind of man you are? I don't get it. "I have a pair of Oakleys." "Oh wow! What a man you are."
35. Own at least two nice watches.
36. Use a money clip. Not a wallet. - What's wrong with a wallet? Where do you put your driver's licence? Where do you put your ID card? I don't get this one at all.
37. Don’t buy things you can’t afford.
Anyway, here is the list with my thoughts on some of them.
What do you think?
1. Know what you want. Don’t go around asking for approval. - I agree with this one, 100%. I read a quote recently and I think that it really applies here - "It is easier to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission." This is so true.
2. Always love and respect your parents. - I love ya' Mum and Dad. See you at Christmas time.
3. Never cheat on your girlfriend/wife. - Yep. When I hear stories of both men and women cheating on their significant others, especially married couples it makes me think that they shouldn't have got married in the first place.
4. On the bus always give up your seat to the elderly, pregnant women, and mothers with their kids. - I live in Tokyo, Japan and as you can probably imagine a lot of time is taken travelling in the train. There are, like I suspect in many big cities, priority seats on the train for the elderly etc. I try not to sit in these seats and obey the rules around them. i.e. cell phones near these seats.
5. Don’t lend money to your family. Give it.
6. Don’t put others down. - I agree with this one. Why do it? I have no problem joking with someone as long as you are close to them and they know what the joke is and you are sure that they won't take it to heart.
7.Don’t participate in gossip. - Yep. Why do it? https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2017/09/get-rid-of-these-bad-habits.html
8. Exercise. - I went to Crossfit this morning. This might not be everyone's cup of tea so pick something that you enjoy and you get it going. This one is non-negotiable.
9. At the gym wear nice clothes. You will interact with a lot of different kinds of professionals there and first impressions are everything. - What's the point of this one? I don't get it. Surely the first impression is probably how much you bench as opposed to what t-shirt you are wearing.
10. Don’t ever take selfies. - Take them. Who cares? If you want to take a selfie, take a bloody selfie.
11. In emails and texts don’t use short form. -Yep, I agree with this one. This applies to women as well as men. What is so uncool about proper grammar?
12.No matter how mad you may be at your family, keep it in the family.
13. Don’t brag.
14. Listen. Girls like to talk about themselves. All I can say about this is YES!!!!
15. Never use the term: “Shit happens.” Put in more efforts into comforting that person.
16. If talking to someone you don’t want to, make a polite excuse and leave. - There is nothing wrong with this. Why waste your time with someone that doesn't add value to your life at all?
17. Never talk religion with anyone. Keep it to yourself. - No comment.
18. Don’t follow others. - I agree with this one big time. This one is really difficult to follow if you know what I mean. When you don't follow the herd you put yourself out there for ridicule but you need to, to get where you want.
19. Don’t waste your life away being on your phone and computer all the time. - I am guilty of this. So why don't you and I take one day off from your phone and computer a week? How would that work? Maybe you could choose a Sunday and throw away the phone.
20. When making plans, call. Don’t text. - Texting can be a big pain in the ass. As it seems to take forever to organise anything, so just make the call and get it over with. If the other person doesn't like it. Tell them to go and get stuffed.
21. Know how to fix things around the house.
22. Don’t be intimidated by anyone.
23. Know how to fight. - By fight, do you mean with your mouth? You mean have good debating skills? I hope this one has nothing to do with your fists.
24. Have hobbies. - If you don't have hobbies, what do you do with your time? By the way, sleeping is not a hobby. That's like saying that your hobby is going to the toilet. I can accept that eating is a hobby as people like to go to different types of restaurants.
25. Don’t be afraid to go and watch a movie alone. - It is OK to do things alone. You don't need to be in a group of people all the time. You need that time alone and you need that solitude and if you don't, don't give people who need to be alone grief for not wanting to join your social activities.
26. Learn to be patient and relaxed.
27. Never stop learning new skills. - Learn a language. Learn how to code. Any other ideas?
28. Read books and keep the mind fresh.
29. Read the newspaper. - Does anyone read newspapers these days? I know I get all my news from the Internet. I suppose the newspaper does have everything in one place.
30. You don’t need a reason to buy your mom flowers. - Happy Birthday Mum.
31. Never split the check. Always pay it. - If she offers, I'd take it. What's wrong with that? I think it is nice.
32. Play chess at least twice a week. Keeps the mind super fresh. - I can't remember the last time I played chess.
33. Buy your mom flowers for no reason.
34. Own a pair of expensive sunglasses, gloves and nice scarf. -How does your sunglasses brand mean anything about what kind of man you are? I don't get it. "I have a pair of Oakleys." "Oh wow! What a man you are."
35. Own at least two nice watches.
36. Use a money clip. Not a wallet. - What's wrong with a wallet? Where do you put your driver's licence? Where do you put your ID card? I don't get this one at all.
37. Don’t buy things you can’t afford.
Friday, 22 September 2017
Get rid of these bad habits
We all have bad habits. I know I do. I used to pick my nose. (I still do on occasions although only if it is itchy.) I'm sure we can think of other bad habits that we do.
However, the following habits are probably holding you and me back. You and me both, need to get rid of them.
1. Don't worry about others
Do you know what? Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. You see these people on Instagram, Facebook or whatever and they seem to be having the perfect life. Remember those photos are just a split-second in time. They might hate each other and be smiling for the camera. You just don't know.
2. Listen
This is something that I struggle with. You need to actually listen to what the other person is saying. By listening one hundred percent, you are paying the other person the ultimate respect and that is going to be good for you because when they talk about you I can guarantee that they will compliment you to other people.
3. Stop it: The Gossip
Nobody really wants to know what the other person has done recently. It might be entertaining and you might feel better about yourself but if you talk about someone behind their back, what do you think the listener is thinking? I know what I would be thinking, if he or she is doing this now, do they talk about me when I'm not around? Ladies and gentlemen, that is not cool at all.
4. Go surfing in the sea on your day off but don't do it on the Internet
There are so many distractions in today's world. I can't count the times while I have written this post that I have checked a rugby score, or looked at my inbox or glanced up as someone walked past. Even now, I looked at my phone for no reason at all. When you are trying to get stuff done, try to minimise the distractions.
5. Get rid of the people who bring you down
There are some people in your life who are just down right negative. They are always complaining about all and sundry and if you ask them what the weather will be like tomorrow, they will invariably say that it will be rainy and cold. These people hardly ever smile and it is just miserable to be around them. So ask yourself a question, do you really want to be around them?
Look at these five habits. Are there any you can get rid of in the next five minutes? In the next five hours? In the next five days?
Good luck. Lets see if we can conquer these together.
However, the following habits are probably holding you and me back. You and me both, need to get rid of them.
1. Don't worry about others
Do you know what? Sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. You see these people on Instagram, Facebook or whatever and they seem to be having the perfect life. Remember those photos are just a split-second in time. They might hate each other and be smiling for the camera. You just don't know.
2. Listen
This is something that I struggle with. You need to actually listen to what the other person is saying. By listening one hundred percent, you are paying the other person the ultimate respect and that is going to be good for you because when they talk about you I can guarantee that they will compliment you to other people.
3. Stop it: The Gossip
Nobody really wants to know what the other person has done recently. It might be entertaining and you might feel better about yourself but if you talk about someone behind their back, what do you think the listener is thinking? I know what I would be thinking, if he or she is doing this now, do they talk about me when I'm not around? Ladies and gentlemen, that is not cool at all.
4. Go surfing in the sea on your day off but don't do it on the Internet
There are so many distractions in today's world. I can't count the times while I have written this post that I have checked a rugby score, or looked at my inbox or glanced up as someone walked past. Even now, I looked at my phone for no reason at all. When you are trying to get stuff done, try to minimise the distractions.
5. Get rid of the people who bring you down
There are some people in your life who are just down right negative. They are always complaining about all and sundry and if you ask them what the weather will be like tomorrow, they will invariably say that it will be rainy and cold. These people hardly ever smile and it is just miserable to be around them. So ask yourself a question, do you really want to be around them?
Look at these five habits. Are there any you can get rid of in the next five minutes? In the next five hours? In the next five days?
Good luck. Lets see if we can conquer these together.
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