Friday, 4 August 2017

It's OK to say "NO"

Do you have a problem saying "No" to people? Do you feel pressure to go out even when your energy reserves are low and it is the last thing you want to do? Do you find that "friends" put pressure on you or make you feel guilty if you say no or are wavering about whether you want to go out on the town or not?

I have one thing to say to you today:

It's OK to say NO

Let me repeat that so you get the message loud and clear:

It's OK to say NO

1. If you are asked out and you agree. At the time maybe it sounded like the best thing to do, but as the time gets closer, the idea of spending time with a big group of people sounds about as fun as having a root canal so you should no. It is ok to change your mind. You know you and you know that the Friday night out with a whole bunch of people is not your cup of tea.

2. It is OK to cancel a commitment. Obviously if you do it often, you are going to piss off a whole lot of people. If you legitimately don't want to go then it is OK. You are not being selfish, you are being true to yourself and that is all we can ask. You might just want to spend the evening with one or two close friends instead of 50. There is nothing wrong with that.

3. To the workaholics out there it is fine to take a day off. There is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you need to stay at home and do nothing. You know that you recharge by being by yourself or with one other so you are doing yourself, the people around you and your employers a favour because you will come back firing on all cylinders. If you don't do this you will start resenting your job. You will start resenting your colleagues, your bosses and maybe even society in general.

4. Some days, especially in the winter, I like to stay in bed and just do nothing or as my fourth form (10th grade) social studies teacher used to say, "Zipadeedoodah, not a sausage, bugger all." Just stay in bed and not talk to anyone and just relax. There is absolutely no worries with that. Just do not make it a habit because if you do, we have a bigger problem.

5. If you decide to spend Saturday night alone, there is nothing wrong with that. Just because society deems that you should be out and about socialising doesn't mean you have to follow it's "rules." You are not a loser for doing that even though some people (who are idiots by the way) may call you that. Don't listen to them. Do what you want.

6. Sometimes introverted people can get stuck in a rut that they find harder and harder to get out of. It can take a lot of energy and unnecessary worry to move on from it. It is needs to be done though and you should give yourself permission to move on. It probably isn't the most easiest but sometimes you have to break that umbilical cord and move on.

7. Finally, it is OK to change. This can be difficult for anyone but for introverts it is sometimes extremely difficult. If you find it difficult to make that change, I suggest to make a list about what is the worst thing that could happen if you make that change. If you look at it logically, you will probably find that the worst thing that can happen, you can laugh at it. It isn't all that bad after all. At the end of the day you are making a change for the better. It is going to be better for the people around you and most importantly, of you.

Let me say it one more time:

It's OK to say NO
It's OK to say NO
It's OK to say NO
It's OK to say NO
It's OK to say NO

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Japanese language blog: (Admittedly I haven't updated it for a long time but it is a similar theme to this blog.)

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