Bicycle Helmets. Good or bad?

I'm going to go completely off the topic today and talk about bicycle helmets. You might be wondering what do bicycle helmets have to do with introverts and extroverts? Well, the answer to that is nothing. It is just something that I want to comment on.

In 1994, New Zealand became only the second country in the world to make wearing helmets compulsory while you were riding a bicycle. I hear that Australia is the other one.

I remember when this law came in. It actually wasn't such a big deal for me at the time because my high school that I attended had made wearing helmets compulsory while riding in school uniform from home to school and back again. That was in 1988 so I had had 6 years "practice."

Now I see that some people in New Zealand are trying to get the compulsory helmet law repealed.

Here is my five cents:

How stupid can you get?

I mean let me see what you are saying.

Lets make the wearing of something that PROTECTS your brain not compulsory anymore just so people can feel FREE.

WTF does that mean?

Is this a vanity issue? If it is, you know which lake you can go and jump in. The nearest one.

The whole reason that we have the compulsory bicycle helmet law is because Palmerston North resident Rebecca Oaten campaigned night and day for years to get the law enacted.

Ms. Oaten's son, Aaron, unfortunately had a bicycle accident when he was 12 and lost the ability to speak and to help himself.

I remember meeting Aaron when I was 8 or 9. (We are the same age. Although unfortunately Aaron passed away in 2010) He was very chatty and we went up in a small airplane with a mutual friend. Everyone felt sick, except Aaron who couldn't stop talking the entire 20 minute trip. It was very sad to hear a few years later what had happened to him.

I've always wondered what would have happened to him if he was wearing a helmet. I'm sure Ms. Oaten has wondered that thousands of times over the years.

My point is don't let the Oaten's experience go to waste. By keeping the compulsory helmet law and if it saves one life then that is enough for me.

I live in Japan and I don't ride a bicycle. When I go home to New Zealand however, I like to ride a bicycle and the helmet is the first thing I look for. It doesn't feel right when I don't have it on and it is a small price to pay for the protection that it gives me.

Keep the compulsory helmet law I say.

Have the vision

Here is a good quote from Corey Wayne:

"A man must have his vision, life, purpose and mission in order before he'll be able to win a woman's heart and keep it." - Coach Corey Wayne

That's exactly right and I have learned that the hard way over the years and I have not learned the lesson completely until recently.

Let me translate the above quote for people who might not understand it:

"Get your shit together."

I have a vision, I have a purpose and I have a mission. You and I have to work on it each and every way, even if you don't want to and on weekends too (god forbid).

You have a vision. That's great. Work you ass off because of it and you will get the rewards, believe me.

The Truths of Life

I saw something the other day that highlighted the truths in life that maybe difficult for some people to hear and listen to. They are true but most people don't want to know about it.

1. The average human life is relatively short

If you think about it, if you live to your 100th birthday, that is 36,500 days. When you look at it like that, it is not so many days on this earth. When you take it to your 75th birthday, it only comes to 27,375 days and it gets even more grim. So, should we be wasting those days of ours in bed doing nothing. I must admit sometimes it is the thing to do but when it happens regularly, you should worry.


2. Being busy does not mean being productive 

I'll let George Costanza explain it to you:

Yes, running around looking like you are a chicken with your head cut off does not mean you are busy. It just means that you are stupid.

We all like to do busy work because it makes us seem productive and useful when in fact it isn't contributing to the bottom line. So stop shuffling those papers and stop organising those 'waste of time' internal meetings and do some work that you can profit from as opposed to work that tires you out.


3. You will always have failure before success

What is that we hear? Thomas Edison failed 10,000 time before he found the lightbulb? For this one, I'll let Michael Jordan explain it to you:

Yep, Michael Jordan has to take risks, he has to try things and he has to do things that might not work out to get the success that we all know he has achieved.


4. Thinking and doing are two different beasts

I'm sure that you some of you have seen the movie, 'The Secret.' This movie focuses on the Law of Attraction. Below, you can see the trailer for the movie.

One of the things about The Law of Attraction in my understanding anyway is that first of all you need to visualise what it is that you want. The difficult part is to go out and do it. The action part. I saw an interview with Jim Carrey who used to visualise a lot about what he wanted but then he did the hard work as well. In the interview he joked with Oprah Winfrey that you can't go and eat a sandwich after visualising what it is that you want.


5. Some people are simply the wrong match for you

Yep. This is not just in sexual relationships either. It could be friends as well.  It just doesn't work out. By the way, this is not an excuse to dump people willy nilly.


6. What you own is not who YOU are

"You own a pair of those wireless earphones? Wow, you must be a supercool person."

"You own seven navy blue blazers? You are the personification of awesome."

"You have a BMW? Excuse me as I drop my drawers."

Seriously, does it matter what kind of STUFF the other person has?


7. Everything changes, every second

If you are married, you probably understand this as well as anyone. Things can change with a drop of a hat. People's moods change. We have different ideas. Everything is happening.

INTROVERTS ARE NOT ......

I'm sorry, I hear all sorts of things about introverts that are just not true. It gets really frustrating and I just don't think some of you guys understand, so to set the record straight, lets go through the list of things that some of you don't get:

1. Introverts are not talkers

This is incorrect. Introverts will talk you ear off if you get onto a subject that they are particularly passionate about. I remember that I was at a party and like any introvert my energy source had run out a long time before. A couple of people decided to talk about cricket and what a joke of a sport it is. Well, they couldn't have thought of better subject to get me talking. Lets just say I won that talk quite easily.


2. Introverts are not shy

How may times do I have to write this? Introverts are not shy. Far from it. Introverts are not scared of people. They do not avoid conversations. They will avoid conversations however if the topic is considered boring and has no meaning. Call an introvert shy at your peril.


3. Introverts are not rude

I saw an interesting meme the other day about a woman at a job interview. She was being interviewed by a panel of three people. Of course one of the stupid questions that people ask at interviews is the classic one "What are you weaknesses?" The woman replied that she is too honest. The interviewer says that that is not a weakness and her reply made me laugh big time, "I don't give fuck what you think."

In today's society we have to walk on eggshells a lot because we might, god forbid, offend somebody. Introverts are generally not very good in judging these situations and will on occasions offend people who are very fragile. Does this make them rude? I doubt it. It just makes the listener weak in my opinion.


4. Introverts love people

Introverts generally don't have hundreds and hundreds of friends like some extroverts seem to have. (Yeah right! Try asking them for help when the shit hits the fan.) Introverts have friends. They have a few very good friends and people that they want to spend time with. They usually like to hang out with one or two people, not one or two hundred.


5. Introverts do like to go out in public

Yes, we do like to go out and about. In fact introverts love it. The only problem is we want to go home earlier than say extroverts who are so keen to stay out. My extroverted friend used to get angry with me for wanting to go home early at 4am after a night out. He would stay out until 8am because he was getting more and more energised whereas I just wanted to get home as fast as possible.


6. Introverts don't want to be alone all the time

You better believe it. Introverts don't want to be alone all the time, they want to be with people who bring value to their lives. They want people who think before they speak rather than people who love the sound of their own voices. Let me use words that our generation seems to understand. If your content is not great we don't want to hear it. Comprende?


7. Introverts are not weird

Just because we don't follow the crowd, that doesn't make us weird. We might not follow the fashion or we might not follow the trends but we do challenge the norm and just because we are not one of the sheep it doesn't make us weird at all. In fact since you might be a sheep doesn't that make you weird? You might be asking yourself, Blair


8. Introverts do know how to relax

Yep, we do, it just doesn't involve a bar or a loud place with hundreds of people. We only need ourselves or one or two other very close people. We can sit in our lounge all day with the love of out lives and watch videos all day. The true Netflix and chill.


9. Can introverts become extroverts?

I think this is where I differ from other people who say that an introvert should just be an introvert. Be happy with who they are and not get out of their comfort zone. I'm sorry, I disagree totally. You can and at times have to be extroverted and this is where I can help you. Please click on the link below and I will show how you can become a Situational Extrovert.

www.situationalextrovert.com

THIS IS WHAT INTROVERTS HEAR ALL THE TIME

As an introvert there are a number things that we hear from time to time. Let me list them out for you so you can get an idea:

"You are so quiet."

"Why do you never go out?"

"Why don't you want to hangout? Don't you like me?"

"You are shy."

"Why are you always alone?"

"You should get out more."

"Are you ok? You are so quiet."

OK. Fair enough. You have the right to ask these questions or make these comments but when I or other introverts ask you or mention the following, why are we considered rude?

"You are so noisy."

"Can you stop talking? In other words, shut up."

"You should shut up more."

First of all,  and seriously, how many times do I have to say this? Shyness and introversion are not the same. Not even close. Shyness is the fear of social judgement while introversion is about how you energise.

Let me give you an example. I know many introverts who are very accomplished public speakers. I don't want to blow my own trumpet but I count myself in that category even though I haven't done a lot recently. Shy people would struggle in this situation.

Another example is going to parties. An introvert would go to a party. He or she would talk to a few people. He or she would have a great time. He or she would maybe have a few drinks and then excuse themselves earlier than most of the other people at the party. Why? Because their social energy has run out. They need to to go and recharge, either by themselves or with their significant other.

Before you start saying things to an introvert, think about what it is you are actually saying. Would you like having something similar said to you if the shoe was on the other foot? I very much doubt it.

The Question of Doom

"What do you do?"

I despise this question.

What are you asking?

Basically what you are asking is that you want a title so that you can pigeon hole me into your narrow version of what the world should be.

The other day I was talking to a woman on a dating app. We had matched twice already  and for whatever reason she had deleted me. I think the first time she deleted me was because I didn't reply in a 'timely' manner. Thirty seconds was too slow for her. The next time we chatted for a bit longer and then she deleted me. The third time (I should have noticed this but I am a glutton for punishment) we had a longer chat and then she couldn't help herself and she asked me that dreaded question:

"What do you do?"

I attempted to explain. But because it didn't fit into her small reality of jobs, i.e.

               BUTCHER

                BAKER

        CANDLESTICK MAKER

She grew tired of that line of questioning. She told me that I was a crazy guy (Hey! It takes one to know one.) and proceeded to delete me for the third time.

Good riddance I say. I also deleted that app and vowed to never load it again. We have to get out from behind those little screens and get out and talk to real people and listen to real stories and look for real body language.

When someone asks you that question:

"What do you do?"

Then tell them what you do. They have asked you for a verb so tell them exactly what you do. If they don't understand then it is their fault for asking a stupid question.

NEVER APOLOGISE ....

Today's message is short and sweet.

Never ever, ever, ever apologise for showing your true feelings. Just don't do it. What you are doing is being true to yourself. You are showing what you feel in your heart and what is wrong with that?

NOTHING!!!

You are being true to yourself and if someone wants to argue that fact with you then they probably don't deserve to be with you at all. Full stop.

NEVER APOLOGISE for doing what you believe is the right thing. NEVER!!!