RULES OF LIFE - PART 1

I found an article the other day about the 8 rules of life. Lets have a look at them and tell me what you think. Today I will go though the first four.

1. Failure is a beginning, not an end

Yes, this is a very good thing to remember but it is difficult when you have failed because you feel like wallowing in self-pity for the foreseeable. The most ignorant thing is to realise WHY you failed and to learn from it.


2. If you don't go after it, you won't have it

If you decide you want something, go for it. Give it 100%. Decide now that that is what you want and move heaven and earth to get it. I'm thinking of something right now that I want and I am going to get it. You watch this space. I am determined about it. I have never been more determined about anything in my life.


3. Go the extra mile

I would say that yes, this is good advice but only go that extra mile if you deem it worthy. You are wasting your time if you go that extra mile and no one appreciate it's or even worse doesn't notice it. To me that just seems a waste of time.


4. Assume nothing and query everything 

That is one thing I have noticed in this country, Japan, the culture is to respect the teacher and the teacher is very rarely if ever challenged. I have seen it happened before with foreign students and the teacher is visibly uncomfortable. If you don't challenge things you are going to become very. very gullible and that is not a good thing.

KISS

KISS!

No. I'm not talking about the thing you do when you touch someone or something with your lips. I'm talking about KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid).

Why make it complicated? Why do we make it so difficult for us?

Here are some rules I saw today:

1. Do you miss somebody?

- Why don't you call them? Say hi.


2. Do you want to see someone?

- Invite them to some place. what is the worst thing that can happen? They say no?


3. Do you think that people misunderstand you?

- Explain to them what you are thinking.


4. Do you have many questions?

- Don't be embarrassed, ask if you have any questions.


5. If you don't like it, say so.

- This is correct especially in this day and age. In saying that, people do get really offended if you do say so. You can't win, can you?


6. What if you like something?

- Say that also. Even in this day and age people still like the odd compliment here and there.


7. What do you do if want something?

- You ask for it and if that doesn't work, you make a plan to acquire it.


8. What to do if you love someone?

- Tell them. Tell them "I LOVE YOU."

WHO GIVES A FUCK? IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. FUCK THEM!

"Take being called Crazy as a compliment. It means you've found the courage to be yourself when so many other have not." - Brooke Hampton

Yep, I understand that a lot. I am crazy for doing what I am doing. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment but I know it is the right thing to do and I'm sure that I will be proved correct in the very near future.

I was proved correct before when other people thought I was crazy and will be correct this time. As long as you are strong with your convictions and your beliefs anything can happen and you will be called crazy because that is just the byproduct of people who don't understand you or don't want to understand you because it is too much outside their comfort zones.

Go ahead! Be Crazy! See if I care. You will probably achieve something that no person could ever imagine.

Persistent then be Consistent

Here is an interesting quote from Instagram:

"If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent, you will keep it."

I forgot this recently. I would say that I was successful in the first part of the quote but I was not very successful in the second part. I was persistent in getting what I wanted but then I didn't keep it going after that.

So, I have to go back to square one which is unfortunate but I hope to come out a better man because of it.

You have got to use the pain to your advantage.

Let me say it again:

"If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent, you will keep it."

REVENGE ...... OR IS IT?

A new phrase has come to my attention recently, 'Revenge Body.' "What is Revenge Body?" I hear you ask. Well let me try to explain it to you using urban dictionary:

When you break up with someone, usually a cheating piece of shit who really wasn't worth your time and you work your ass off to look the best you can just to piss him/her off and make them regret their poor choices.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Apparently, there is even a TV show starring Khloe Kardashian called 'Revenge Body.' In which two people per episode go through a makeover, both in the body and their mind.

Although the video above has a guy in it, I believe that the revenge body is primarily for women who are trying to get 'revenge' on their ex-boyfriends.

Although, in saying that, I don't believe that it is revenge at all and it is a little misleading calling it that. In get into that a bit later.

I believe the male equivalent for this is the following. Have a look at this video and have think about what it is trying to say:

What did you think?

Was she a gold digger?

I don't think so even though she portrayed herself to be with telling him her husband's salary. I don't think it would be fair to call her that.

She was trying to get him to become the best version of himself which in the end he did and did she regret it? Probably, but the other guy was looking after her well anyway so I'm sure she was happy.

So did that guy get revenge on the woman?

I don't think so, he just took the pain that he was feeling, and it was obvious that he was feeling it for a long time and used it as energy to make him the best he can be.

Did the women get revenge on their ex-boyfriends by losing a whole bunch of weight. I don't think so. They just used that to energise themselves and become the best people they could be. I applaud them all for that.

In the video of the man meeting his love after a long time, it says:

The Best Revenge ever is Success.

Love for Someone's Heart, not their things. A Good Heart is Bigger than Anything.

I'm sure the man would have achieved success if the woman had stuck with him, but she chose things over her heart and at the end of the day, that is her prerogative.

I just wonder what happened after that? We may never know.

Quote of the Day - December 12th, 2017

Here is a good quote  I saw the other day:

"Don't attempt to reconnect with toxic people from your past just because you're feeling lonely. Focus on getting better and attracting better."

I have fallen into this trap a few times over the years. I have learnt to concentrate on myself and then you will start to attract the things and the people that are supposed to be in your life.

IS DRINKING COFFEE THE HEIGHT OF BEING SOCIAL?

I was told yesterday that I should drink coffee. When I asked why that was the case, I was told it is a good social thing to do because when you go to someone's house they will invariably ask you if you want a coffee.

So what?

What is the difference between not wanting to drink alcohol and not wanting to drink coffee?

In one word: Nothing.

Why should I be pressured to drink coffee when, for two reasons: I don't like the flavour of coffee and  I really struggle with hot drinks. I find that my mouth is pretty sensitive and it burns quite easily so I would rather drink something cold.

It is so ingrained in a lot of people to offer tea or coffee that when you ask for something cold it almost comes as an inconvenience to people.

I guess the moral of this post is to not be pressured into doing anything that you don't want to do. Why should you drink coffee because it is the thing to do or it is the social thing to do?

If people pressured you into doing it, run the other way, very quickly.

FOUR THINGS FOR MEN TO DO

This is advice for men, so if the woman out there are reading this, let me save you a few minutes.

Here are four things that I have found are beneficial for you as a man. I have tried them or am trying to incorporate these things in my life. Why don't you try it too?

1. Stop drinking

Hands up if you go out on a Friday night or Saturday night just because it is Friday night or Saturday night. I'm guessing quite a few of you. Why? Why do you have to get in the habit of drinking? Do you really need it? And before you extroverts say that you need to be social. That is ridiculous. You don't need it to be social. There are tons and tons of stuff you can do that doesn't require drinking. I know I am going to lose some readers because of that but it is the truth.

Stop drinking. You will feel better because of it and hey, you might even lose some weight, which is good, isn't it?

2. Exercise

Go to the gym. That's all. Lift weights. It makes you feel very good. End of story. You build muscle, lose fat, probably make some new friends because they are there for the same reason as you

By the way, it doesn't have to be Crossfit because I do it. It can be anything. Just get out and get moving.

3. Cut out the porn

Ladies, if you are still reading, if your man says to you that he has never watched porn on the internet, he is probably lying to you.

Porn is everywhere on the internet and you don't have to look particularly hard to find it.

Lets put it simply, porn stuffs up your sex life. Now, if that is not going to stop you doing it then I don't know what will.


4. Sleep more

I'm finding that when you stop drinking and you exercise more and you don't watch porn, guess what, you have more time for sleep and because you have worked your ass off at the gym you are basically asleep as your head hits the pillow. It is a great feeling when you wake up (early) in the morning all ready to fight another day.

We all can make the future better. Also, don't do as I would do in the past by saying that you will start in the new year. Why? Why can't you start now? There is nothing wrong with the present.

Will shopping offline die out?

Will going out to shop ever go out of fashion?

Some people love shopping, they seem to live for it. Every weekend they will go out to the mall and really give their credit card or cards a thorough workout.

In the last 20 years though a new phenomenon has come about, the online shopping mall has taken over. Hands up who has ever used Amazon. It looks like quite a few of you. You can buy anything on Amazon. I remember looking for L&P on Amazon Japan. The charge for postage was astronomical but it was there.

In the next few months, Amazon is going to set up shop in Australia. Brick and mortar shops in New Zealand are understandably quite nervous. How is this online giant going to affect the industry in New Zealand?

The answer to that question is that I don't know.

What I think will happen is that going to the shops in my opinion is never going to die out. I for one want to try on my clothes before buying them.

Also I think the social aspect of shopping will never die out. People go along to the shops to see their friends. A real social occasion. As the first part of the video below shows.

Don't worry people, shopping is not going to be just an online thing, shops and malls will always be there, it is just you have more of a choice.

Some interesting quotes for the day

I saw this quote today, what do you make of it? Is it true?

"When someone makes you the happiest person and the saddest person, at the same time, that's when it's real. That's when it's worth something."

I think the following is a bit more self-explanatory:

"I love you. You don't have to love me back, but I'm gonna give you my heart anyways."

Are you changing without knowing it?

In the next year, I want to transform into the person I have always wanted to be. I have some goals that I want to achieve and do some things that I believe that will make my life more fulfilled and the type of life I want to live.

How will I know that I am changing or have changed?

That question is quite difficult to answer by yourself. Usually people will say something to you like,

"Hey you have changed a lot. What did you do."

So, lets get back to the question. How do you know that you have changed?


1. You don't care if you are alone.

This sounds like it is straight out of the introvert playbook. As you get older, you realise that few people are on your wavelength and you only choose to surround yourself with people who get you and of course you get them.


2. You become more self-confident 

You will find that you don't get all wound up when people start to correct our behaviour or try and impose themselves on you. You will start to find things that you are more and more passionate about and you may even start finding purpose for your life.


3. You can throw away people who don't belong

As you change you will realise the type of people who a good to be around. You will realise the type of people who bring value to your life and you will realise the type of people who you need to have in your life and the type of people who you have to get rid of. You will find that saying goodbye gets easier and easier.


4. You become more sceptical

I was told a few years ago that I was quite a difficult person to know. This particular person said that the first time he met me he could almost feel that he was been judged. Of course at the time I denied it and said that I was shy but in hindsight he was probably right. I had to judge himself to find out whether I could speak freely with him or be careful with what I say. In theses days for whatever reason we have to be careful about what we say because more and more people seem to be getting easily offended over the most trivial things.


5. Introvert lifestyle is not so bad after all

You will find that you don't have to go out each and every weekend with 100 of your "closest" friends and hit all the clubs within a three mile radius. As you become more and more comfortable in your skin, you will know that that kind of trivialness is not really needed and that you are just as comfortable being at hime by yourself or with your soul mate passing time in a relaxed and positive manner.


6. You can't get back time

As you grow in confidence and grow as a person you will realise that time is more and more valuable and you will be very careful who spend it with and what you do. You start to realise that things that you spent lots of time on in the past just don't mean anything anymore. You pick your friends more carefully and how you spend your time.

Basically keep going in this journey we call life. It is worth it in the end.

INTROVERTS v EXTROVERTS (The title match for the ages)

       INTROVERTS

Introverts have their energy sources depleted when they are out socialising:

A good example of this is myself actually. When I was younger my friend and I would hit the town and he would be "on" for most of the night and for some reason he would be at his best at about 4am when I was ready to go home. The he would say that I was being anti-social for wanting to go home when in fact I was just depleted of energy and wanted to go and sit by myself for a little bit.

An introvert requires that alone time to recharge.

How do you know if you are or have met an introvert?

1. Introverts are usually better writers than in conversation. (That could be true but I would say that with the right people, introverts are great in conversation, not in a large group though.)

2. Introverts love their alone time. (Yep. I know that I have spent some weekends completely by myself although not recently though.)

3. Introverts prefer talking with another person or in a small group. (Introverts find it difficult to stand in the middle of a big group and hold court so to speak. So they don't.)

4. Introverts generally despise talking on the phone. (If you think about it, the telephone is there so that you can organise your life. You use the phone to organise a meeting with other people isn't that right?

5. Introverts usually think before they speak. You will very rarely see an introvert just blurt out the first thing they think. The unfortunate thing here is that because they are thinking an extrovert will think that they need to fill that gap of silence with some kind of comment which is just hot air at the end of the day.

    

     VERSUS

       EXTROVERTS

Extroverts gain energy and pleasure from being out and about with (preferably) a big group of people.

How do you know if you are or have met an extrovert?:

1. Extroverts are generally very good at conversation. They are lively and very active. 

2. Extroverts, as the name suggests are naturally outgoing and they will try new things. They will jump into things on occasions without much thought. 

3. extroverts prefer outdoor activities unless it is a home party that they are hosting then they will have 300 people at their house when only 60 can fit in and they will have a big smile on their face the whole night and probably for the next three days.

4. Extroverts are good leaders of groups. They will get everyone along just so that they can get energy themselves. (I remember one guy like that. He would bring a whole group of people together and you could see he loved it. He loved the attention and was just growing in energy with each second. Of course I got a lot of grief when I wanted to go home early or, god forbid, not want to drink alcohol.)

There you have it. The ongoing battle between the introvert and extrovert. I still don't think people understand this. It is my job to show them how to interact with each other.