ARE THESE DATING TIPS GOOD FOR INTROVERTS?

 I came across this article the other day. All those who know me will know that I was attracted by the title with shy guys and introverts in it. 

How long will it take before people realise that shyness and introversion are not the same thing? Seriously! It is getting tiresome. 

Anyway, I continued reading (for research) and let me tell you what I think about some of the ideas in this article.

First of all I was lost in the first sentence by these words, ghosting, zombieing and kittenfishing. In fact there is a whole new list of vocabulary that I have never heard of before.

FYI, zombieing is when the person who has ghosted you comes back out of the blue with no sign of it. 

I digress. 

What are the four tips?

1. The article suggests to set a time limit for the date. 

I agree with this one. Usually an introvert gets re-energised by be alone with one other person. They can let their guard down and basically be them self but the whole idea of the first date when you are supposed to be "on" can be draining. Of course there is going to be the whole situation where it is going well but that can be an advantage as she will be wanting more of you and her attraction could go up. (Of course, she could interpret it as meaning you are not interested but that is something that you can't control.)

2. The second one suggests to go beyond the expected. 

I couldn't agree with this one more. In my experience most women (especially here in Japan) expect to go to a cafe or something similar and have a drink and basically swap resumes. Having a date plan that involves some kind of activity can be fun and you get to know each other in a relaxed atmosphere and as the title says it can be very unexpected/

3. The third suggestion is to choose things to do that are in your comfort zone. 

I believe that as an introvert it is good to go out of your comfort zone on occasions but know your limits. She might ask you out to concert where there are 70,000 people attending. If the artist is someone that you like then great, go. However if the artist is someone you don't even know the it could be a very long few hours for you and lets face it you probably not going to learn too much more about her.

4. The final suggestion is to know when to leave.

Sometimes the environment is just going to be too stimulating. I remember when my friend would be in town, we would go to a night club that he had taken a real shining to. I enjoyed the music and the people watching but I was never able to talk to people in that kind of venue. It was just too loud and you cant get into deep conversations that an introvert loves so much. It certainly wasn't my natural habitat. I still think of the times there when I had opportunities to meet new women but because of my lack of social ability in that kind of venue I missed out. I can still remember a particular woman giving the evils after she made it blatantly clear that she wanted to talk to me. 

There you have it. I suppose the above suggestions could be summarised in the late Kenny Rogers' song, The Gambler:

You've got to know when to hold them. Know when to fold them. Know when to walk away. Know when to run.