I worked for about 18 months as a bartender. It was one of the most interesting and dare I say it, fun jobs that I have ever had. No two nights seemed to be the same and I will remember it for a long time.
Of course I met a whole bunch of people and saw a lot of things.
One of the most interesting things that I witnessed was guys trying the whole pick up thing. I believe that there are easier places to try to pick up women, especially when you are like me who can hardly hear the other person when they are talking, but it seems to be go to for most men when they are on the prowl so to speak.
Anyway, without further ado, here what I learned from my year and a half standing behind the bar.
1. Say something original
It seems that from what I saw, "hello" was definitely an original and unique line. Most men tried to say something smart and it was a big turn off for a lot of women.
Another thing you could do is talk about or ask a question about something the woman is wearing or carrying. This is something personal to them and it might set off a spark.
2. Don't use swear words
I sometimes catch myself using the f*** on occasions. It is OK when you are talking to someone who is close to you but when you start using it when you ahem just met someone, you can get yourself in a lot of trouble. So hold back on those four letter words until you know that person just that little bit better.
3. Bring cash PLEASE!!!
Do you what is the most annoying thing is especially in a New Zealand bar? EFTPOS. It sucks and everyone uses it. I know that it is useful for everything but for a $7.50 purchase it is a waste of time and it sucks when the connection is out because no one carries cash anymore.
Bring cash. You (and she) will get your drink faster. I'm sure that she is thirsting for your conversation.
4. We can be your best friend (and ally)
Don't think we are some uneducated pleb. As you know, we have seen it all, so talk to us like we are human. We do have a sense of humour and most of us are well educated and we know what is going on around the world. This will allow her to relax and boom, you are in with a chance.
5. You are there with your mates
When you go out with your mate to mates, remember that you are there with your mates and the object of the night out is to have a good time with your mates. You are there to talk and have a laugh. Do you know what happens when you are having good time and concentrating on what your mates are saying? Well people start to congregate in your area to see what all the fun is and that is when you start to talk to the women.
I remember I was at a bar with my mate a few years ago and we were in such a deep animated conversation that we attracted the attention of women around us without doing anything. You could tell that they were bored with their group and wanted to be entertained by us because we must have been talking about something interesting, well in their mind anyway. (I think we were probably talking about sport or something.)
6. Isolation is not good
A lot of those PUAs (Pick Up Artists) out there say that you must isolate the object of your affection. Get her away from her group. From what I saw, it would be better to keep her in her group. She will feel safer. Of course interact with her friends but also talk to her the most.
7. Have a sense of humour
If you can make a woman laugh, you are half way there. What happens when you laugh? You feel more relaxed, right? You feel more relaxed and so does she and she is concentrating on your jokes and not on trying to come up with things why she shouldn't go home with you.
8. Put that f****n phone away
I know that I am guilty of this from time to time, looking at my phone when someone else is talking. It is totally disrespectful and what does it say to you when you are in the middle of an epics try and the other person is checking your their watch, looking around the room (for something or someone better) or checking their phone?
9. Just be nice
No one, no matter what anyone says likes an asshole. I know that we are told that we should act like an asshole to get the girl but do you think any woman wakes up and thinks to themselves, "I wish that I could meet an asshole today. I hope that he treats me like shit and makes me feel like I'm worthless."
There you have it. Have a great weekend and at the end of the day, just be yourself. You are a unique being and it is difficult to play a character no matter how much practice you have. Good luck and tell me how it goes.
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