To fly or not to fly: That is the question

Air travel. I used to think that it sounded quite glamorous. That was in my teens when I hadn't done a lot of it. I would dream of exotic locations and look at the map on the bedroom wall and think of the places that I would like to go to.

Recently, unfortunately, that kind of glamorous idea has gone from my mind. For me, a ten hour flight is just a way to get from A to B.

International flight are more affordable for a lot of people so as when in the past it was only the shall we say, more well off people who could go, now it is most people.

Of course this can cause some problems in that some people are not so sure of the "proper etiquette" (for example, feet up on the seat).

I digress however.

Today I want to talk about airline cabin crew.

The reason that I want to talk about that topic is that I read an interesting article about the "extracurricular" activities of people who spend a lot of time on aeroplanes.

http://nypost.com/2017/10/20/stewardess-claims-first-class-passengers-pay-flight-attendants-for-sex/

I'm not here to judge what they do and don't do. I would hope that they are fully grown adults and hey, if you have it, why not flaunt it, right?

My question today is, can you be an introvert (energise by being alone) and have job that requires your to spend up to 15 hours on an aeroplane?

I always thought that it would be quite cool to work for an airline. Flying all over the world. Exploring exotic locations. That sounds quite cool, right?

Yeah, I'm not sure. You are going to have to like people for that kind of job and believe me in 2017 you are going to meet some "interesting" people. A quick search of YouTube proves that.

There are copious amounts of books and blog posts and newspaper articles out there talking about the horrors of working on a plane. Have a look. It is quite interesting.

What I would like to say is that you might like one thing and it sounds glamorous but then you have to put up with the other thing. You have to weigh one thing off against the other. It might just not be worth it. You have to decide.

A letter to myself.

Dear Blair,

Here are some rules you need to follow and you need to start following them now. Are you ready to hear them because some of them may not be easy for you to hear but you need to.

1. Blair, you need to do the work. You can't just do the bare minimum. You need to be doing what other people aren't doing. Stop being lazy and start doing the work.

2. They say that procrastination is the thief of time. Blair, you can't wait around thinking this is the best time because it will never happen. The time is now.

3. You have to do it yourself because no one else will do it for you Blair. People say that they have your best interests at heart but they have their own problems. They don't care about you.

4. Do stuff. You can't just think about it Blair. Obviously you have to imagine it and have that thought in the back of your mind but if you do nothing then that it just means it is a dream. Nothing else.

5. Get up early Blair. It is very easy to stuff around in bed doing nothing but as difficult as it is, to get up early and do some things means that your day gets off to a good start and you get some of the hard stuff out of the way early.

6. Don't complain Blair. I know you can let irritating stuff get to you quite easily. Let it go. Think of stuff you can change. People are in their own little world. They don't think of the same stuff as you do.

7. Blair, you are a nice guy but it doesn't mean you have to be nice to every idiot that is around. Why hang out with people who bring you down? Why hang out with people who don't know what they are doing? Why?

8. You can't control the idiot who is walking down the wrong side of the road, Blair. Why bother thinking about it? Why don't you appreciate what you have? Why don't you appreciate the surroundings. This will make it a lot better for you.

9. It's not good to lie Blair. It is also not good to say things that are just to impress people. Stop doing it.

10. You can't please everyone Blair. It is just impossible. The only person you should be trying to please is yourself.

11. Did that chocolate bar taste good Blair? I'm sure it did. But why did you need it. Why did you need to have it when a good old fashioned boiled egg with a little salt would have done the trick.

12. Stop doing the same thing Blair and expecting a different result. Einstein said it well. Take his advice.

From Blair.

DON'T DO THESE THINGS!

Do you do any of the following things?

1. Stay out late. (This could mean different things for different people)

2. Sleep in. (Once again, this could mean different things for different people.)

3. Party all weekend.

4. Cancel your Crossfit class even though you booked.

5. Veg out on the sofa

6. Drink a beer or a soda (pop, fizzy drink)

7. Decide to start it tomorrow

 8. Bitch and moan about something

9. Give 99% or less

10. Overreact

Let me look at this list again.

Hmmm, I think I score 9/10 for the above list. Not good and I'm sure many of you score either 9/10 or even 10/10.

Remember if you stay out late, lets say you go out and get home at 2am. Not a late night by any means but remember that the other guy is working on that Friday or Saturday night. He is working on his side-hustle and getting ahead of you

Remember, if you sleep in, you are in my opinion anyway, missing out on the best time of the day. There are not many people around, the air is clear, it is quiet. You can get your workout out of the way and start you day off in the best possible way. If you do sleep in, someone else is going to the gym, going to that early morning class.

Remember if you party all weekend that you may have some great memories and see some great things but in the long run, how is this going to help you 5, 10 years down the track?

Remember if you cancel your Crossfit class, this could be the start of cancelling the next one and before you know it, you are going once a month and it is a huge waste of money. Sure cancel once in awhile if you don't feel like it. Going to the gym shouldn't feel like a chore. Of course in some circumstances it will feel like a chore but most of the time you should want to go there.

Remember if you veg out on the sofa then everyone is getting ahead of you even if they are going for a walk down the corner shop. At least they are being active. You are just sitting there, most probably snacking on something unhealthy. They are getting lean and mean and you are getting fat.

Remember when you are popping open a beer or a cola, you are getting fat and the water drinking guy is getting hydrated. Understand the difference?

Remember if you decided to start tomorrow the the guy who did start today is already ahead of you. The diet starts Monday. I don't think so, it starts NOW!

Remember, if you bitch and moan about something, all of your energy is focusing on that particular complaint. You will feel bad about everything and that isn't great while the guy who has his focus elsewhere is getting ahead.

Remember, give 100% in everything. End of story. Don't half-ass it. That isn't cool.

Remember to stay cool. Don't overreact and everything will be fine.

Arnold: He is 'THE MAN.'

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

When you hear this name, what do you think? Do you really need to say the Schwarzenegger bit? You can just say Arnold, right? I mean people of my generation might think of the following:

But I very much doubt it.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is an icon. He is at the top of the food chain in Hollywood and has had success as a politician as well. I'm sure if he concentrated on golf he could even manage it on the PGA Senior's Tour.

As you probably all know, Arnold made it as a bodybuilder first. Before he got into movies, he was pumping his way to title after title on the bodybuilding circuit.

I was reading the other day and this really surprised me, Arnold wasn't necessarily the biggest or even the best conditioned bodybuilder when he first got started but the thing was, he was Arnold. He had (has) a personality that is larger than life.

In this blog post I talk about the 1970's movie Pumping Iron in which we see the contrast between Arnold and his archival at the time, Lou Ferrigno. One was very extroverted and outgoing and always wanted to be the centre of attention (Arnold) and one was quiet and maybe even a little shy (Ferrigno).

What has happened in their respective careers? Ferrigno has had some parts in movies and tv shows. I'm sure he has made an ok living.

Arnold however, is worth according to my Google search, about $300 million and counting.

How much did his outgoing and extroverted personality help him?

I say a lot. He wouldn't be anywhere near he is now if he was quiet and shy. Most probably no one would know who he is.

Would he have won all of those bodybuilding titles?

Who knows?

The point today is that we are not going to be all like Arnold Schwarzenegger but we can pretend. We can fake it if you like. We need to get ourselves out of our comfort zones and be that extrovert for a short time.

Do you want me to show you how?

Another interesting quote - October 19th

Here is an interesting quote from Horacio Jones:

"I like being alone. I have control over my own shit. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than my solitude. You're not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zones."

That's an excellent point. Some people are happy just being by themselves and even though what you have planned may, in your mind be lots of fun, other people might not see it that way. If they do decline your invitation, it is not an insult to you, it is just that the other person feels more comfortable in their own company than in yours.

LETS CHANGE OUR LIVES TOGETHER

I've noticed this year that I have let some things slip which is not good. So if you are in the same boat as me here are some things that both you and I can do that will make 2018 better and better.


1. Gratitude

We are so lucky to live in 2017. There are so many things now that we take for granted. If you have a question, you can reach into your pocket and press a few buttons and there you have on your phone screen, your answer. You can do anything from that thing in your pocket. Rather than be grumpy, think of all the good things that are in our universe.


2. Be fine with being alone

Sometimes you have to sit alone and think. You have to relax, yes even those extroverted people out there. I've said this a number of times, it is ok to sit at home on a Friday or Saturday night either by yourself or with a significant other.


3. Banish the trash

I remember a few years ago I noticed that a Facebook friend was doing a "restructuring" of her page. She was getting rid of the trash. (Her words, not mine.) I noticed that she was deleting a lot of her "friends" on Facebook. Anyway about five minutes later Iw as one friend less. I'm still not sure what I did or didn't do to get the boot but I suppose what she was doing was banishing the people who don't bring positive energy into her life. That's what you should do too. Say goodbye to the negative people. They will bring you down to their level and that is never good.


4. Turn off the telly

TV, telly, boob tube, whatever you call it, sometimes you need to turn it off and read a book or heaven forbid, maybe even go outside. It is not just the television either, sometimes you need to turn off the Internet (YouTube in particular) and do something else.


5. Cultivate a skill

Find something that you are interested in and give it a go. This might be to learn a language or to learn everything there is to know about a particular subject. I remember a friend of mine saying that if you spend 6 years reading about a particular topic every day for a minimum of seven pages, then you will be in the top 1% of authorities in that subject. Something to think about, don't you think?


6. Commit

This is something that I'm not very good at, committing at something. Choose what you want to focus on and give it 100%. I'm sure you have heard all of those cliches. You know what I am talking about, regret weighs more than failure and things like that.


7. Exercise

I went to the 7.30am class this morning. I do feel a bit tired now while I am writing this. Do I regret going? Not at all. This is another thing that personally I need to commit to. What is that I hear you ask? Consistent exercise and clean eating. I know in this society it is easy to just pop out for a kebab to something similar but it is much more satisfying to cook something yourself. It is generally healthier and probably more delicious.


8. Learn from your mistakes.

Do I have to say anymore?

Engage with the WALLFLOWER (You never know who you are going to meet)

When you are at a party or an event you are going to tun into people who may not want to be there. You will recognise them, they are standing by themselves, next to the wall, not talking to anyone.

They are called:

"WALLFLOWERS"

Say hi to them. Start up a conversation. They will be very happy that you took the effort to break the ice and even though they might not look like the life of the party (because they are not) you might find that they are super-intelligent and quite fun to be around.

Next time you are at a party engage with the wallflower. You will make their day and you will find a friend for life. I can almost guarantee it.

What I learned (or should I say observed) at Crossfit class today

CROSSFIT!

I'm sure that regular readers of this blog will know that I have attended a Crossfit gym for a number of years. I do enjoy it. I like the structured workouts and the sense of community and although I don't take it too seriously, I like the fact that I am learning to lift weights properly although I still can't do a pull-up. I struggle to do burpees well and doing a muscle-up is still but a dream.

Today's class was interesting for me. Normally I would go to a Saturday class at 8am. On Saturdays we have the choice of a 8am class or a 9.15am class, a 10.30am class or a 11.45am class.

Since I joined I think I have been to a 9.15am class once and I have never attended either a 10.30am or a 11.45am class. So today was the first time to attend a 11.45am class.

Got it? Are you following me?

Anyway, the 8am class, like the weekday early 6.15am class is usually quite quiet. There are pleasantries exchanged. A few nods and grunts, but we generally get on with it. Invariably there will be a few visitors from around the world.

The good thing about the 8am class is that you get it over with and you have the rest of the day to do whatever you have planned.

What I want to point out today is (and yes we are going to go back to the theme of this blog) do introverted people go to earlier classes and the more extroverted ones go to the later classes?

From what I observed, yes, that is probably the case.

Now, before you get your knickers in a twist and say:

"Hey Blair, I work hard all week and I need the sleep in on a Saturday morning."

I'm going to say that I realise that for some of you that is the case. No doubt about it. However I reckon that introverted people go early while extroverted people go later. GENERALLY! Not in all cases.

Why is this?

1. Introverted people know that there might not be that many people at the early time so they can relax and enjoy it without having to deal with the crowds.

2. It's Friday night. What is an introvert doing? Yes, they are at home recharging from the week. What are extroverts doing? They are out partying up a storm. They need energy for the weekend so bars and nightclubs and parties it is. By the way, 8am class?!?!?!? F**k that.


There is a myth out there that Crossfit is this big party with people yelling at you to do one more push up or one more burpee or the like. I must admit that I thought that when I joined but that is not necessarily the case.

If you do join a Crossfit "box." Make sure you pick the time you go carefully. Obviously with some people it might not be that easy but if you do like it a bit quieter then you may want to push yourself to get up at 'sparrow's fart.'

Experiment. Go at different times and then find the best time for you. You will find that most people go at the same time so you will start to see familiar faces and that will make it easier.

Good luck. Have a great weekend.

P.S. I have already booked the 8am class for next week.

Don't let the opinion of one person get you off-track

I saw a very interesting quote the other day. Let me write it out for you:

"There are more than 6,055,134,204 people in this world. Don't let the opinion of 1 stop you from chasing your dreams."

This is so true. We have an idea. We are all gung-ho about it but then somebody says something that makes you think that what you are trying to do is stupid.

"Why are they saying that?" we think to ourselves. We try and second guess it and suddenly all of our enthusiasm is gone because we listened to one person who is probably a real grump and/or having a really bad day.

One opinion is nothing. Maybe 100 opinions of the negative variety you might want to think again.

The pride and passion of international sport: i.e. Football (soccer)

International sport. Is there anything that brings out the passion and national pride more than sports? I very much doubt it.

Today I was following the South American football World Cup qualifying games. Normally I couldn't give two hoots about a few football games on the South American continent but this time the fifth place team in the Conmebol confederation is due to play New Zealand (All Whites) in a home and away playoff for the right to attend the Fifa World Cup in Russia in 2018.

Going into the final rounds of games, there seemed to be about five teams all with a shot of either qualifying for the World Cup directly or through the playoff.

As a All White supporter I was hoping we would avoid, Argentina Colombia, Chile and Paraguay. Why? Because we know about them and we probably wouldn't survive. However we got Peru which on paper sounds less difficult but they are fifth in South America for a reason so it is going to be very, very hard.

I'm not a great football fan but even I was interested in who we will play and I was following the action with great interest.

A few minutes ago I was chatting with a football fan from the United States of America. He was very disappointed that his country couldn't make it to Russia. He is usually a pretty easy going guy but you could tell that he was disappointed, angry even that his team couldn't make it. The passion that comes out in international sport, you can't beat it.

Last night I was following a live stream of Australia vs Syria. Football isn't the most popular sport in Australia but the passion and commitment from both teams was something to be admired.

Anyway, whatever happens I hope see more of the below video:

And this one:

LIFE IN A BIG CITY: IS IT A PARADISE?

I was asked the other day why I like Tokyo.

Like most big cities, there is usually lots to do. There are many interesting areas. It is a very convenient city in that it is easy to get around. The trains run on time and there are safe if some what congested roads where you can drive quite easily and find your way around.

Another thing about big cities is that it is easy to become just another anonymous face in the crowd. This of course can bring with it challenges like loneliness and the sense of isolation.

It's ironic, isn't it, that even though you have 20 million people around you, you still feel lonely.

Although, maybe you enjoy that? Do you? Do you like the fact that you have your small group of friends and acquaintances and that you don't have to say hello to every second person that pass by?

At the end of the day, a big city is what you make of it. You can take the opportunities that it has or you can let it beat you.  I have seen the faces of many people that it has beaten and it is not a pretty sight, believe me.

If you want to say here, don't let it beat you. Carve out your own niche.

16 Questions with Blair

I read this article in The Japan Times the other day.

It was an article asking some person in Tokyo a number of questions. 20 to be precise. (I have answered 16 of them.)

I thought that I would answer these questions for this blog.

Name: Blair Leighton
Age: 44
Nationality: New Zealand
Occupation: Blogger extraordinaire
Likes: Sports - Rugby, Cricket, Crossfit, Reading, Blogging
Dislikes: Rude people, zombie people, my culinary indiscipline.

1. What do the kanji that compose your first name mean? Would you say they match your personality? My name in kanji is 武礼亜. 武 means weapon. 礼 means polite and I have no idea what 亜 means. Am I a polite weapon? I don't know.

2. What do you love about living in Japan? I like Tokyo. I like the big city and although it can get annoying at times, I like the hustle and the bustle.

3. Where do you go to escape Japan? Why would you want to escape? It makes it seem like a prison sentence. It's my choice to live here, why escape?

4. Whom in Japan do you most admire? I think it is changed over the last few years but very few sports people have ever decided to try their luck overseas. However in the last 20 years more and more sports people have moved overseas and that is good to see. I do respect the people who go for example, to Moldova to play soccer or they go to Australia to play baseball. I think that is great for their sport careers as well as their lives in general and all power to them.

5. What's the strangest question you have been asked in your job? "Do you have traffic lights in New Zealand?" I couldn't think of a smart-ass answer to that one so I just said yes.

6. What is your Japanese comfort food? Curry rice, closely followed by karaage. In fact, karaage on curry rice is heavenly.

7. If you could have dinner with anyone from history, who would it be and what would you eat? Cleopatra. We would eat grapes and she can feed them to me.

8. What would you like to be doing in 10 years time? I'll keep that one to myself for the time being.

9. What song best describes your work ethic? The Feeler's "Stand up." It is very special for me for reasons I would rather not go into.

10. What's the biggest joy in your job? When people come up to me and say they read such and such post.

11. How do you relax when you aren't working? I wrote a post about the England rugby player, James Haskell. In the video attached to the post he says that he likes to sit down, play some music and write. He finds that really relaxing. I agree with him. I like to do that too. As I am writing this, I am in a comfortable chair and got music playing in my ear and I feel very relaxed.

12. What would you take to a deserted island? I was actually asked this yesterday at my gym. I am a great fan of the Tom Hanks' movie Cast Away. In the movie Hanks' character is stuck on the island for four years. I was reminded of the parody of the movie. (See below)

So, what would I take? Well, same as what was in the package, satellite phone, fishing rod, water purifier and an inflatable raft.

13. What's the most exciting/outrageous thing you have ever done? I came to Japan when I was 18. For a boy from Palmerston North, New Zealand, that was pretty scary.

14. What's been the most embarrassing moment in your life? I don't know. That's a good question. I remember at high school playing volleyball at lunchtime and making a mistake and the whole gym cracking up at my mistake. That wasn't very pleasant. In fact I don't have a very good association with volleyball. It isn't my favourite ball sport.

15. What do you want to be if you are reborn? I have heard this a few times, "an expat wife." So I'll go for that.

16. If you won $1 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money? I would think of ways to make it $2 million. Also look for ways to make a 5% income from that money. $50,000 is not that much in today's climate but it would be a good start. Boring I know.

Getting ahead at the bar

Today's post is for men. Women, you don't have to read this if you don't want to although you might learn something as we go along. I'm not sure. Don't say that you haven't been warned.

I worked for about 18 months as a  bartender. It was one of the most interesting and dare I say it, fun jobs that I have ever had. No two nights seemed to be the same and I will remember it for a long time.

Of course I met a whole bunch of people and saw a lot of things.

                               (This is not me)

One of the most interesting things that I witnessed was guys trying the whole pick up thing. I believe that there are easier places to try to pick up women, especially when you are like me who can hardly hear the other person when they are talking, but it seems to be go to for most men when they are on the prowl so to speak.

Anyway, without further ado, here what I learned from my year and a half standing behind the bar.

1. Say something original

It seems that from what I saw, "hello" was definitely an original and unique line. Most men tried to say something smart and it was a big turn off for a lot of women.

Another thing you could do is talk about or ask a question about something the woman is wearing or carrying. This is something personal to them and it might set off a spark.


2. Don't use swear words

I sometimes catch myself using the f*** on occasions. It is OK when you are talking to someone who is close to you but when you start using it when you ahem just met someone, you can get yourself in a lot of trouble. So hold back on those four letter words until you know that person just that little bit better.


3. Bring cash PLEASE!!!

Do you what is the most annoying thing is especially in a New Zealand bar? EFTPOS. It sucks and everyone uses it. I know that it is useful for everything but for a $7.50 purchase it is a waste of time and it sucks when the connection is out because no one carries cash anymore.

Bring cash. You (and she) will get your drink faster. I'm sure that she is thirsting for your conversation.


4. We can be your best friend (and ally)

Don't think we are some uneducated pleb. As you know, we have seen it all, so talk to us like we are human. We do have a sense of humour and most of us are well educated and we know what is going on around the world. This will allow her to relax and boom, you are in with a chance.


5. You are there with your mates

When you go out with your mate to mates, remember that you are there with your mates and the object of the night out is to have a good time with your mates. You are there to talk and have a laugh. Do you know what happens when you are having  good time and concentrating on what your mates are saying? Well people start to congregate in your area to see what all the fun is and that is when you start to talk to the women.

I remember I was at a bar with my mate a few years ago and we were in such a deep animated conversation that we attracted the attention of women around us without doing anything. You could tell that they were bored with their group and wanted to be entertained by us because we must have been talking about something interesting, well in their mind anyway. (I think we were probably talking about sport or something.)


6. Isolation is not good

A lot of those PUAs (Pick Up Artists) out there say that you must isolate the object of your affection. Get her away from her group. From what I saw, it would be better to keep her in her group. She will feel safer. Of course interact with her friends but also talk to her the most.


7. Have a sense of humour

If you can make a woman laugh, you are half way there. What happens when you laugh? You feel more relaxed, right? You feel more relaxed and so does she and she is concentrating on your jokes and not on trying to come up with things why she shouldn't go home with you.


8. Put that f****n phone away

I know that I am guilty of this from time to time, looking at my phone when someone else is talking. It is totally disrespectful and what does it say to you when you are in the middle of an epics try and the other person is checking your their watch, looking around the room (for something or someone better) or checking their phone?


9. Just be nice

No one, no matter what anyone says likes an asshole. I know that we are told that we should act like an asshole to get the girl but do you think any woman wakes up and thinks to themselves, "I wish that I could meet an asshole today. I hope that he treats me like shit and makes me feel like I'm worthless."


There you have it. Have a great weekend and at the end of the day, just be yourself. You are a unique being and it is difficult to play a character no matter how much practice you have. Good luck and tell me how it goes.

                                (That is not me either.)

REMEMBER TO RECHARGE

When you have had a day like I have in which you have been talking to people for more than 8 hours, you really need to get home and recharge.

It's OK to decline that after work beer. There will be other times.

You need to look after yourself and you need to know yourself.

It is OK to say no. You are being true to yourself.

DOING NOTHING IS DOING SOMETHING

Person A: What are you doing tonight?

Person B: Nothing.

Person A: Oh? You want to do something?

Person B: I just told you what I am doing.

Have you ever had this conversation?

Have you ever gone out with a friend, acquaintance or work colleague when you didn't want to?

This is where you have to be strong. You have to say no, or if you can't say no then emphasise that doing nothing is doing something for you.

That's the secret, doing nothing is doing something and the fact that you want to do it alone should be your choice, not someone else's who can't stand to spend five minutes alone.

Be strong, say no and you will feel happier and more energised which is what it is all about at the end of the day.