In this post we talked about standing out is better than not standing out.
Let me refresh your memory about a quote from New York real estate broker Fredrik Eklund's book The Sell.
It is much better to be dumped by your client - or your coach or lover - for being out there and memorable than for being too withdrawn and easily forgotten.
I know for a lot of people who are a little bit introverted or a little bit shy, that quote scares the bejesus out of you.
Why is that?
First of all you have to bring attention to yourself which you have spent your life trying to avoid. I must admit that I have spent my life trying to avoid being memorable but that is totally the wrong thing to do.
I enjoy public speaking and you will find it surprising that I am more nervous after the speech or presentation as opposed to before it because I am worried that I might have been too memorable or even worse I might have offended someone. At the end of the day it is their choice to be offended not mine and I was just telling a story.
A couple of weeks ago I was telling a story about my experience in China. I believed it to be a very positive experience and I was very passionate about it. Unfortunately the one and only Chinese national in the audience took it to mean that I was making fun of her country and her city when that was the furtherest thing from my mind. She chose to be offended. I can't control that. What should I do in the future? Tell the story with a monotone voice with no facial expression or gestures? Maybe I could be safe then from offending anybody.
Earlier this week in the gym I was joking with some of the other men in the gym about their grunting and groaning and I told them about a joke I heard about Monica Seles, the former number 1 tennis player in the world who was quite loud when she played. Admittedly I was a bit of a sexual joke but I don't anything too risqué. Then I thought that I might of offended someone, but then I thought that is their choice and I'm just being true to myself by telling that joke. What is wrong with that?
What's the point in not being out there? You probably won't get into any trouble but you might not get what you want either and at the end of the day, that is why grind everyday to get what we want.