Sunday, 5 February 2017

Dating an introverted person

Dear Boys and Girls,

Today I would like to give you some dating advice if you happen to be going out with someone who might not necessarily be the life and soul of the party. They may be a little more quiet than you are used to and they might not want to do things that you want to do.

Today, there are so many rules in the dating world. You can't do this and you can't do that and "Oh my god, did you actually do that?" It is difficult to know what the other person may be thinking but if you are dating a more received person there are things to take into account.

These are things to know if you are dating an introvert:

1. You or your friends?

An introvert will 90% of the time choose you over your friends. Don't be offended by it. It doesn't mean that they hate your friends, far from it, they just prefer to hang out with you because they are energised by that. Hanging out with you and 6 of your best friends can be tiring and they will do it for you but don't expect it to happen all of the time.

2. Introverts do like being social

Introverts are not hermits. They do enjoy the company of people and social occasions just don't expect them to up partying with you until the crack of dawn. My friend always jokes that "you went home early. 6am." He was still going and I had checked out somewhere between 3am and 4am and I was just running on fumes. Expect your introverted partner to want to go home early. I assure you, you will thank him or her in the morning.

3. Introverts are not snobs

Just because they are quiet or they are a little standoffish, it doesn't mean they are being snobby. Far from it they are just not so sure how to interact with you because they don't know you. Once they get to know you, they will be great friends. They will be very loyal and some of the best friends you even had. I actually had a former work colleague say that he thought I was really snobby when he first met me. In the end he said that was the furtherest from the truth.

4. Introverts will come out of their shell

You might not be able to get a lot out of them at the start but don't give up. The more they feel comfortable with you the more they will present themselves to you and the more that their true self will become known to you.

5. Introverts won't be the life and soul of the party

Sorry, they just won't be. They are not going to initiate the conga line at all but they will join in the dancing once it is going. Don't be surprised to see your introverted partner rocking the dance floor once he or she feels comfortable with the surroundings. You might be shocked.

Examples of dances might be the hokey pokey (hokey tokey for New Zealand readers) or my favourite one:

Yes, I know that you cool people are thinking WTF? but it's a favourite and after a few drinks, who cares anyway, right?

6. Introverts do what they want to do

Don't you forget this. Introverts as you can probably realise by now won't be out and about every night of the week but when they do decide to go out to a party or social event with you they will make sure that it is special for you.

7. They are interesting people and don't forget that

Do I have to explain this?

You might not be dating the party animal that you are but that is OK. You two can complement each other. The yin and yang so to speak.

Don't be disappointed if your partner doesn't want to go out raging with you on Friday night. They are conserving their energy for when they meet you on Saturday night and that can't be wrong, right?


  1. Very much enjoy your blog Blair! :)


    1. Thank you Brad. I'm glad I have some readers on the other side of the Pacific.