Life and soul of the party.

How can you become the life of the party? If you want to become a situational extrovert, you need to think about the the following points.

1. You have to treat everyone with the utmost respect. If you are talking to a client who represents half of your income you are going to be on your best behaviour, aren't you? What about when you are talking to the server at your local restaurant? You should treat them with the utmost respect too. Don't look down on them because they are a server. Also don't put the client on a pedestal. Talk to everyone the same and you will be well on the way.


2. Forget about the small talk. I went with a Japanese colleague of mine last year to a meeting and we were joking as we were going about the small talk we were going to have to go through and sure enough we sat down and we were straight into the topic of how hot is was on that particular day. I have learnt with small talk it is better to talk about something that is relevant to the person you are talking to, so for example, if they are wearing an unusual watch ask them about it. I asked a guy this morning about a bracelet that he was wearing and I couldn't shut him up about it.

I know in New Zealand the people at the grocery stores are trained to asked about your day which is so boring. My favourite experience at a grocery store was when the store clerk asked me about the magazine that I was buying. There was a photo of a woman in a bikini on the cover and she thought it was dirty magazine and she asked me about it and I told her that it was a sports magazine and that she can check it if she wants, which she did. The disappointment on her face that the first thing she found was an article on golf was easy to see. Anyway, the reason I remember that was what she asked was relevant to me not some generic question that no one is interested in answering or asking for that matter.


3. The next one is something that I really need to work on and that is focusing on the other person. Actually really listening to what they are saying and not preparing what you are going to say next which is what I do. Sometimes I might be looking at my smart phone which is really rude and it is not going to win you any friends. Ask good questions and really listen. You might actually learn something if you do that.


4. People who are the life of the party don't try to brag or skite. (that is New Zealand and Australian slang which means to boast) I suppose that comes down to name dropping too which I am guilty of on occasions. Who cares you don't have to tell them, you just show them what you can do. People will respect you for that.


5. Share your opinions but don't ram it down the other person's throat. The respected people is not shy to share their opinion but they don't say that it is a fact they make it clear that they are their own opinions and they are respectful of other people's opinions as well.