Group Interviews and why you should avoid them if possible

 Recently, I was involved in a group interview. It was for a job that I would have worked for a tour company in that I would show groups of tourists around New Zealand.

Why did this appeal to me?

1. I like the idea of the tourism industry and in my experience it is such a broad industry and there are lots of opportunities.

2. I like that I would have been gone for a large proportion of the month. In a previous post I talked about the George Clooney movie, Up in the Air. In this movie, Clooney's character spends more than 300 days a year away from home and he loves it. I wanted to find out what this lifestyle would be like so I applied for it.

3. I liked the idea that this company is an international company and the possibility I could tell was that I might be able to work in Japan. Summer in New Zealand and then summer in Japan. Sounds like the dream to me. The other day I read the following article about a woman from New Zealand who wanted to do that and is well on the way to making that dream a reality.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/home-property/350321923/kiwi-buys-stunning-holiday-home-japan-123000

I applied for this job in the traditional way and was surprised to receive a phone call a few short days later. The guy was calling from Melbourne (I think) and he and I spoke for 15 minutes or so. So far, so good.

A couple of weeks later, I received an invitation to another interview, on Zoom online. Great I thought. That's progress. I had to prepare a couple of things which weren't arduous and I thought that I was quite well prepared.

What I didn't think about however, was the fact that it was a group interview. 

What is it that people say? 55% of communication is non-verbal? How the hell can you get that across on a Zoom call? Seriously!

I knew after about 5 minutes that I was fucked, especially when they asked questions not specifying the particular person. People were jumping in here and there and I had to wait until right at the end and basically regurgitate what the other people had said.

The people I talked to about this afterwards said that I probably wouldn't have been suited to this particular job. You are basically on call 24/7 and you would probably be expected to socialize to all hours and get up at 6am the next day. For some of you, that sounds like fun and for others it sounds like hell. Maybe it might have been hell for me but I would have like to have had the opportunity.

My advice here is to try and avoid these group interviews if possible and try to get a face-to-face meeting if possible. I know in 2024 that kind of thing is getting more and more difficult as companies are doing more and more things online as a more convenient and a more efficient way of doing things.

When I think of that interview, I think of the number of people who have been passed over because they don't come across very well online or they are not as pushy or as aggressive as they should be when answering questions for the group.

Don't give up on this dream if you come across obstacles like this. There are always ways around it. You just have to be smart about it. 

Introversion 101 sure, but you have to get out of it from time to time

 I should really have restarted this blog during the Covid period. The covid period, or as I like to call it, the mask years, seemed to go on forever in Japan while other countries were back to normal relatively quickly. I don't why that was. Maybe the risk averse nature of the people in that country and the fear of the outside world. (I'm sorry if you are reading this in Japan but it is true. You wanted tourists to come but when they do, you don't want them there anymore. Which is it? Oh, I see, they don't follow the rules. Well, when you have a plethora of rules that don't make sense half the time and a population that subserviently follows them and has a touch of xenophobia, what do you expect?)

I'm glad I got that rant out of the way. I wonder if I will be allowed back into the country. 

Anyway, what was I talking about? The covid period, that's right.

During this time, I went periods, more than once in which I didn't leave the house. I didn't go out the front door. The only time I went outside was when I would open the sliding door and hang out my washing. I didn't even put more foot outside. I think the longest period was 6 days. About 144 hours of staying at home and not even looking outside. 

I lived on the ground floor of the apartment complex but it was designed in such a way that and with the slope of the road that my room was below the road surface and that I looked out to a concrete wall. Because of this, I can only remember me opening my curtains a handful of times. 

Over time, from the beginning of January 2020 to about the middle of 2023, I was basically holed up in my room (apartment). Of course, I went out and did things but not as much as I should have. This brought with it loneliness. I'm actually holding back the tears as I write this. The room was comfortable, it was warm enough. I had an excellent bed with nice pillows etc. but at some stages I wished that I could have shared it with someone too.

Of course, I did try online dating but that stopped in about September 2022 when I catfished someone. It wasn't the greatest thing that I have ever done and even now I can still see vividly in my mind the look on her face when she saw me. Not my finest moment. I must admit that I just was happy to get out of my apartment and to share it with someone. It was a beautiful day and the Tokyo hotties were out and about especially in the area that I was in. 

I think what I am trying to say in this autobiographical post is that for an introvert, it is ok to want to spend some time alone to recharge. That is introversion 101. However, we must remember that we all need to socialize. We all need to get out there from time to time. Even I forget this from time to time. We all need to meet new people and to engage with them and hey, you don't know what it going to come of it.

Make it your goal this week to find an event or something similar in which you will be engaging with other people, strangers if you will. 

I will do the same. Good luck. 

ALONE TIME IS GOOD... FOR EVERYONE

That was a false start. Not good. I am very good at starting something and then not following through. Let's start again.

I saw the quote below, the other day. I don't know who John Graves is but it makes a lot of sense.

John Graves  "A crowded world thinks that aloneness is always loneliness and that to seek it is perversion."

Occasionally, the introvert needs some alone time. 

WHY?

Because that is how he or she recharges. That is how the introvert gets the energy to go again and then have a lot more to say and be very talkative. If you don't let he or she have that, you are going to get nothing out of them and then you will have more complaints.

Let the introvert have that alone time. They will feel better and you will have a better experience with them.

Does that sound like a deal?

Apologies!

 Oops! Well that was a false alarm. After saying that I was back for my daily blog posts, I completely forgot to do anything yesterday. Oh well. The good thing about the next day is that you can start again and promise yourself that you won't forget tomorrow. 

I'll do my best.

 Is Sir Sean right? Do losers always talk about their best?

Well, in this case. I will do my "behst."

See you tomorrow.

WELCOME BACK

 Hello and welcome back to the new and improved Daily RBL.

This is going to sound quite dramatic but this is the first day of the rest of my life.

I'm not going to tell you what has happened in the last few years since I stopped posting regularly but I am sure that will come out in the coming days and months. 

I'm told that blogging is dead but that is all very well but I am doing this for myself. I'm doing it because I enjoy coming up with new ideas and it is a challenge to come up with something everyday and in other days it is a pleasure. 

This is an example of something that was a pleasure to write:

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.com/2016/10/what-do-brendon-mccullum-ross-taylor.html

Admittedly I wrote it on a Sunday so I had time to think about it but it was still a pleasure.

Thank you for your continued support, I look forward to entertaining you and hopefully myself over the coming months.

Thank you.

LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF OTHERS

 What I would like to talk about today is my first week at university in New Zealand and why I wish I knew then what I know now. 

I grew up in Palmerston North, New Zealand. I went to Palmerston North Boys` High School where I was pretty average at school and was marginally better on the sport`s field. I finished school in December 1991. After that I spent nine months in Tokyo, Japan. That was a real eye opener for a young man from a town (at the time) of 70,000 people. 

At the end of 1992, just before Christmas, I returned to New Zealand where I had planned to attend Victoria University in Wellington. I also got a place in Te Aro Hall. One of the halls of residence for the university. A short walk down the hill from the campus itself. 

My mother and my best friend and I had gone there a couple of weeks before the beginning of the academic year and checked out the place, both the university and the hall of residence.

I had been there a couple of years before when I was in my last year of high school. I attended a couple of presentations from the Japanese professor and the law faculty. I still remember the joke that the Japanese professor told and I tell it 30 years later. (It resonates with my sense of humour.)

Anyway, back to my first week at Victoria University. I drove down to the hall of residence with my parents and settled in to the place. (Looking back on it now, if I could do it again I would have arrived earlier so that you have the run of the place before all the others arrive.) It's weird walking into the place where people are already there. It feels like you are gatecrashing their party or something similar. 

It was more than 28 years ago but I do remember that I was immediately uncomfortable. There was these people running around, none of them I knew all enjoying their first days away from home. Looking back on it, it was a true extrovert's paradise. There might have been parties going on but I did not know at all. I was ... petrified? I'm not sure if that is the correct word. I just didn't want to interact with these people. Was it shyness? Quite possibly. Was it introversion? Quite possibly. Was it lack of social awareness? Quite possibly.

At the time, I had no idea. The only thing I knew was that I didn't want to be there. I wasn't comfortable there and it was just not me.

I had just spent nine months in Japan living in that kind of dormitory lifestyle but this was a little bit different. It was noisy. The building was older than what I got used to in Tokyo. It was colder. I just did not enjoy it. 

So I did a runner. I went back to my hometown where it was more comfortable. I knew my way around even though I do quite like the streets of Wellington. It just seemed to be the right thing to do.

If I had my time again and with the knowledge I have, would I make the same decision? I don't know. A wise person once said to me that you should never regret anything because at the time it was the best decision that you could have made.

Without this experience in Wellington, would I have the knowledge that I now know about introverts and extroverts. Maybe I could have 'extroverted up.' I will never know. What I do know however is that living in a big dormitory is not for everyone. You may think it is and you may think that you don't get the true university experience without it. However, what is more important is being able to understand yourself and being able to understand what is comfortable for you and what drives you and what sucks the energy out of you. This is more important rather than getting the experience that everyone else says you SHOULD have. There is no SHOULDS in your life. It is just what you believe and it is what you think is best for you not anyone else.

At the end of the day, it is your life. You make the decisions and of course, no one knows you more than yourself. 

Lessons from a Netflix movie

 The other day I watched a movie on Netflix called Afterlife of the Party. ("Thank you.")

Here is the trailer for the movie:

The first ten minutes of this movie and the first five seconds of the above trailer is very interesting.

We are introduced to the two main characters of the film, Cassie and Lisa. They have been best friends since their primary school days but one of the first things I noticed was the obvious difference in their personalities. Cassie is the stereotypical party girl while Lisa is a bit more, shall we say reserved? 

In fact Lisa comes home from work and suggests to Cassie rather than party at the club that night, they should stay at home and pig out on ice cream and binge on movies and the like. 

You can imagine what the response to that was from a party person. No f**king way. 

Cassie is a stereotypical extrovert. She gets her energy from being with many people in a highly stimulating environment. Basically partying. Lisa gets her energy from being in a quiet place either by herself or with a close friend or two which is why she suggests to Cassie that they should stay in for the night.

Isn't interesting how people like this become friends and stay friends for such a long time? You also see this in marriages. I have read many articles in which the wife talks about her extroverted husband and the perils and adventures of going to a party with him.

At the end of the day, it is all about, especially in marriages, the idea of filling the other person's weaknesses. Most of the time, the couples don't realise why they are attracted to each other, it just feels right. 

It's about that gut feeling. It's about that comfort in which you feel when you are with that other person whether it be plutonic or romantic. 

Don't disregard that person because they don't have the same interests as you or they don't have the same party animalistic tendencies as you or they don't know how to shut up and take it easy without inviting 12 other people to take it easy with them. If you do disregard them, you might be losing someone from your life that can help you grow as a person, that can help you see how the 'other side' live.