What I would like to talk about today is my first week at university in New Zealand and why I wish I knew then what I know now.
I grew up in Palmerston North, New Zealand. I went to Palmerston North Boys` High School where I was pretty average at school and was marginally better on the sport`s field. I finished school in December 1991. After that I spent nine months in Tokyo, Japan. That was a real eye opener for a young man from a town (at the time) of 70,000 people.
At the end of 1992, just before Christmas, I returned to New Zealand where I had planned to attend Victoria University in Wellington. I also got a place in Te Aro Hall. One of the halls of residence for the university. A short walk down the hill from the campus itself.
My mother and my best friend and I had gone there a couple of weeks before the beginning of the academic year and checked out the place, both the university and the hall of residence.
I had been there a couple of years before when I was in my last year of high school. I attended a couple of presentations from the Japanese professor and the law faculty. I still remember the joke that the Japanese professor told and I tell it 30 years later. (It resonates with my sense of humour.)
Anyway, back to my first week at Victoria University. I drove down to the hall of residence with my parents and settled in to the place. (Looking back on it now, if I could do it again I would have arrived earlier so that you have the run of the place before all the others arrive.) It's weird walking into the place where people are already there. It feels like you are gatecrashing their party or something similar.
It was more than 28 years ago but I do remember that I was immediately uncomfortable. There was these people running around, none of them I knew all enjoying their first days away from home. Looking back on it, it was a true extrovert's paradise. There might have been parties going on but I did not know at all. I was ... petrified? I'm not sure if that is the correct word. I just didn't want to interact with these people. Was it shyness? Quite possibly. Was it introversion? Quite possibly. Was it lack of social awareness? Quite possibly.
At the time, I had no idea. The only thing I knew was that I didn't want to be there. I wasn't comfortable there and it was just not me.
I had just spent nine months in Japan living in that kind of dormitory lifestyle but this was a little bit different. It was noisy. The building was older than what I got used to in Tokyo. It was colder. I just did not enjoy it.
So I did a runner. I went back to my hometown where it was more comfortable. I knew my way around even though I do quite like the streets of Wellington. It just seemed to be the right thing to do.
If I had my time again and with the knowledge I have, would I make the same decision? I don't know. A wise person once said to me that you should never regret anything because at the time it was the best decision that you could have made.
Without this experience in Wellington, would I have the knowledge that I now know about introverts and extroverts. Maybe I could have 'extroverted up.' I will never know. What I do know however is that living in a big dormitory is not for everyone. You may think it is and you may think that you don't get the true university experience without it. However, what is more important is being able to understand yourself and being able to understand what is comfortable for you and what drives you and what sucks the energy out of you. This is more important rather than getting the experience that everyone else says you SHOULD have. There is no SHOULDS in your life. It is just what you believe and it is what you think is best for you not anyone else.
At the end of the day, it is your life. You make the decisions and of course, no one knows you more than yourself.
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