When phones are not so smart

I'm in a bad mood today, so there may well be bad language as I get something off my chest.

Smartphones are ubiquitous. While I'm writing this post, I can see three people in my eye line who are looking at their smartphones. (I'm going to look at mine now.)

I don't have a problem with this. I must admit that I am forever checking my phone and to be honest, it isn't very cool. I will sit in bed for hours, just reading articles, watching videos and basically day dreaming. Is it the new form of TV? I think that yes it is.

I should really change my habits and maybe then I can sleep a little bit better than I have been recently.

Today's post (rant) is about people who need to walk along the street with their heads down looking at their phones. It is really annoying.

Today I was walking along a narrow street and the Dominos Pizza delivery guy on his scooter had to avoid the guy who was walking all over the street with his head down looking at his phone.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling in a bad mood I will deliberately walk towards someone with his or her head down looking at their phone in a passive-aggressive attempt to make a point. Sometimes I will get an apology which is fine. At least they know they are doing something dumb.

Other times I will get a glare as if it is my fault that we just about bumped into each other. That really gets my goat.

What I know is, if you walk along the street with your eye constantly on your smartphone screen you are basically missing life. You miss seeing the scenery that is going by. You miss the hip new shop that has just opened. Hell, you might even miss the man/woman of your dreams walking by who wants to smile at you but you don't see it because your head is down and concentrating on that email that you have already read five times that morning.

Smartphones are great. They are one of the best inventions of the 21st century but do we really need to have it on our person 25 hours a day? (By the way, I do know that one day is 24 hours.)

Look up. Look around. You never know what you might find or see.

Personality certainly does help

For those people who know me, you will know that I grew up playing the sport of cricket. Cricket is a British sport which is played predominately in the former British colonies like Australia, India, New Zealand, Jamaica, South Africa, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Zimbabwe.

Currently, the game is strongest in India. Most of the money for the international game is generated in  the country and the top players in India are national heroes and are compensated appropriately.

In this post, I compared a couple of New Zealand cricket players as well as a couple of British monarchs.

In today's post I would like to compare a couple of all time greats in the sport of cricket, Sir Garfield Sobers of Barbados who played his cricket for the West Indies and Jacques Kallis of South Africa.

First of all, lets have a look at a couple of videos of the respective players.

Sobers:

Next, Kallis:

Both of these players are what is called an all-rounder which means that they can both bat and bowl to a very, very high level.

Before we go on, lets look at these player's test match statistics. (A test match is played over 5 days and is considered the pinnacle for any cricket player, even though these days most of the money in cricket comes from the shorter forms of the sport)

Sobers: 93 matches, 8032 runs @57.78 average, 235 wickets @34.03 with 109 catches.

Kallis: 166 matches, 13289 runs @55.37 average, 292 wickets @32.65 with 200 catches.

For cricket fans, they will automatically see from the above numbers that we have two seriously good players. They can do everything and they have broken records all over the world.

So, why is Sir Garfield Sobers always regarded as the best player ever when Jacques Kallis' record is comparable if not better than Sobers?

In one word, personality.

From what I can tell, Sobers is an outgoing guy. Judging from interviews that I have heard about him, he had a confident strut which would have endeared him to many people. He hit the ball a long way in a time when the bowlers tended to dominate the bat. (He was the first person to hit 6 sixes in an over) He thrilled fans all over the world because basically they had never seen anyone like him before.

On the other hand, Kallis is a lot quieter character. He has rarely been captain of South Africa so he is just one of the players and he was more comfortable letting his batting, bowling and numbers do all of the talking. He wasn't a flashy player but he was very effective. His bowling wasn't beautiful to watch but he was very effective. He did his job. In fact, he did his job wonderfully well.

Would Kallis be considered the best of all time if he was a little more flashy?

Quite possibly.

Would Sobers be considered the greatest if he played in the modern age?

Probably.

All this goes to show is that you need to have a little bit of an outgoing personality to be seen and heard. Modern day society doesn't really like the quieter personality. That is why you need to cultivate that situational extrovert persona from time to time.


In this post I ask the question if Muhammad Ali would be considered "The Greatest" if he was quiet. What do you think?

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2016/06/float-like-butterfly-talk-like.html

Happiness is not ......

Many people say that they want to be happy. They say that if they are happy then life will be easy.

OK. Fair enough.

What if you are not happy like the guy below on the swings?

Happiness is all about you. You can choose to be happy if you want or you can choose to be miserable if you want. It's entirely up to you.

Your health is your decision at the end of the day. You can choose to sit in front of the television if you want or you can choose to go to the gym.

Your career is your decision at the end of the day. You can choose to have the awful job with the demanding boss or you choose to be our own boss.

Your relationships are your decision at the end of the day. You can choose to have that unloving relationship where you are intimate once a year or you can have that relationship where you can't keep your hands off each other.

Your interests are your decision at the end of the day. You can choose to sit on the couch all day and do diddly-squat or you can get out and about doing as much as possible, going home tired but really satisfied.

By making the right decision in each of these four categories, you can become happy.

What else can you do, however? Here's a list of things:


1. Don't get overjoyed about something new

You got a new sweater? Wow! Who cares? You equate you happiness with what possessions you have? That isn't a good look. Think about when you were really happy in your life. Yes, that time when you actually ACCOMPLISHED something. You put your mind to something and you went and did and that feeling was probably as good as anytime when you got a new pair of shoes.


2. Don't try to rip someone off

When I worked in the financial industry we talked about commodoties and I learned the expression 'nil-sum game.' When basically if someone is making money in commodoties then another person is losing that money. Why do you try to become happy by making someone else look bad? It is just plain, out and out bullying. It is not cool at all and it makes you look like an asshole that you know and everybody knows that you are.


3. Don't worry about criticism

When you start something new, you will always come up against people who just don't understand. When I started this blog, people just couldn't undertasnd why I would want to write in my spare time. "Isn't that for drinking and watching TV", they would ask. When I started Crossfit, people would ask why I was doing it because it was too hard. Well, let me just say that it was too hard for them. The blog sounded too much work for them. Do what makes YOU happy, not what makes them happy because if you do what makes them happy, you WON'T be happy. Make sense?


4. Don't quit

People like to start things but the instance that there is a small bump in the road they like to give up. All the work they have done to that stage is flushed down the drain. Don't let that be you. Get your happiness from the fact that you do not quit. Get your happiness from the fact that you are enjoying the journey and who cares if you don't get to the destination because you are going to be way ahead of the majority of people around you.


5. Don't wait for the right moment 

There is never going to be the right moment. Life is always going to be in the way. Just get started. You will be happy about making that first step and then you will get happier taking that second step and so on. Life isn't about the destination, it is about the process and if you get satisfaction from the process then that is half the battle.


6. Don't think you are not happy

If you are reading this I'm guessing that you have a little bit of money. You have clothes on your back and you have food and you have a roof over your head. I'm just guessing this but I'm pretty sure I'm correct. I have a question: why are you miserable? You have everything you need now and you also have the attributes to make those things better. So put a smile on your dial and get going. Imagine if everything in that list was taken away, that would not be cool and then you would have something to be unhappy about.


You are happy. Don't forget that.

A quote from Plato

"Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow." - Plato

Everyone goes at their own pace. Just because your friend or acquaintance is not doing things or going at the same speed as you, doesn't mean they are not heading towards some kind of goal.

You might find on occasions that extroverted people will get excited about a project, I mean really excited. They might jump in clothes and all, just because they are so excited about it all.

An introverted person, however, might be a little more methodical about it. They might not be gung-ho about it all. They might move a little slower that usual.

To the extroverted people, it is OK that the other person is going slower than you. They have found a pace that suits them and they are sticking to it. Also, they maybe likely to outlast you as your initial excitement slows down a bit.

They might not be going at the same pace as you, but have faith that they will be there at the end and that is all that counts.

The wise words of Michael Jordan

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan.

This quote says it all. Unfortunately, failure is part of life but if we can learn from it and move forward then we can become better people because of it.

It is all about taking the shot and if it falls then that's great but if it bounces out of the basket then you try and grab it again and take another shot.

I know that is very difficult after failure or rejection or just a plain old mistake but if you don't grab that ball again, then I am sorry to say, it is all downhill from there.

Failure is good, failure great. Why? Because it means that you are giving something a go. You are not just sitting on your hands watching TV and playing on your Playstation.

Lets get out there and see what happens. Because, honestly, what is the worst thing that can happen? The other person says "No!" Not the end of the world and if you are really confident, you will realise that it is their loss, not yours.

Dutch Courage: The pitfalls

Why are there so many phrases in the English language with the word Dutch in it?

I think of the following:

To go Dutch: This is when you go on a date and you share the cost equally.

Dutch auction: I have no idea what this means. My dictionary says, a method of selling in which the price is reduced until a buyer is found.

Double Dutch: Some kind of skipping game

It's all double Dutch to me: Gibberish

Dutch oven: When (usually) the guy farts in bed and traps his girlfriend under the sheets. (very childish but fun)

Finally today's topic,

Dutch courage: This is the strength or confidence gained from drinking alcohol.

I don't know what the people from the Netherlands have done to deserve all of this. I wonder what Kiwi phrases there are.

It appears there are none. Why the Dutch? I can't work it out.

Anyway, lets get back to Dutch courage.

I'm sure for all people who have tried alcohol in their lives that you have found that you suddenly have the gift of the gab or superhuman confidence for 30 minutes. Remember that it is just for that moment. Sure, for guys, you might be able to pluck up the courage to go and talk to the pretty girl at the bar. She might be interested. You set a date for the following week.

What are you going to do? Have five beers before you meet her every time? Unfortunately that isn't going to work and she will soon see the true you.

What can you do to become a good conversationalist without the help of alcohol?

I would say the first thing is to make sure you have a passion. Make sure you have something that you are really passionate about or at least you know well. It goes without saying that if you have great knowledge about it or are extremely passionate about it, then you are going to want to talk about it.

When I was younger, I was pretty shy around people that I didn't know very well and it was difficult for me to have proper conversations with them.

However, I remember one particular time, for whatever reason we turned to the subject of cricket. Something that I know well. In the end the other people had to stop the discussion because they got themselves in over their head. They didn't know enough about the topic and I was passionate about it and they couldn't compete.

Of course there are also going to be occasions where you are going to have to be adept at small talk, which introverted and shy people are not. (I know that I have said ad nauseam that they are not the same but I do believe that they have the same problem)

Unfortunately when small talk is required, you are going to have to grin and bear it.

What can you do to make speaking with other people that much easier?

1. I remember a friend's friend would read the newspaper and look at the news websites before venturing out. He always had a plethora of topics to talk about.

2. Compliment people but make it sincere. I worked for just over a year in the service industry. It was a lot of fun and dealing with people everyday who were there to have fun was really interesting. Unfortunately in the service industry in New Zealand, service providers are taught to ask generic questions that don't have any relevance to anything. I taught myself to ask questions of relevance to the patrons. I think they appreciated it more and it enhanced their overall experience.

3. Use humour only if you have a good sense of humour. I tend to use it a lot because I think that I do have some funny things to offer although my sense of humour can be a little dry. I remember a teacher at high school saying to the other students that they better laugh because Blair has just made a joke and it is quite funny.

4. I think the most important thing is to surround yourself with people who are similar to you. I know that it sounds great to hang out with "the popular kids in school" but you won't feel comfortable around them, believe me when I say that. Make friends with similar personalities, similar hobbies and interests and then you won't feel so much like a fish out of water.

Drinking is fun if done in moderation but if you are consuming alcohol just so that you become another person, then I think you are wasting your time. You are going to create more serious problems for yourself and that is never, ever a good thing.


Other posts related to this topic:

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2017/03/using-up-energy-singing-karaoke.html

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2016/09/what-i-learned-from-broken-umbrella.html



Follow me on social media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blair.leighton.73

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rblairl/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/rbleightontokyo

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0qVUOgTy0-2xC8y8EzAlLg

Japanese language blog: http://gaijinambivert.blog.fc2.com (Admittedly I haven't updated it for a long time but it is a similar theme to this blog.)

The Importance of Touch

TOUCH

No I'm not talking about the sport, I'm talking about one of our human being's five senses. (You know what I'm talking about, right? Sight, Taste, Hearing, Smell and Touch.)

Touch is very important in respect to your relationship with others. A well timed touch can really emphasise your point as you are talking and can make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things.

As humans, we generally enjoy touch. Generally.

Of course, some of us, especially women might find it a little tiresome when a drunk guy wants to hit on them and he is touching her in all the wrong areas at all the wrong times and slobbering over her. But when the guy is a little bit more sober and coherent then a well-timed touch will be greatly received and might increase attraction.

Of course, there are times when both men and women get offended by touch. I remember in my first year in Japan when I was 18 years old, we would go out with some of our co-workers and drink some beer. (Probably illegal at that stage. I can't remember the law at that time.) One guy in particular was a little, lets say touchy feely. The New Zealand guys in the party couldn't really handle it and we told him and another co-worker as well. Basically get your mitts off us.

As it turned out, the guy only did it when he was drunk (talk about Dutch courage) and was really bad at it.

Having that sense of touch and having a good sense of timing can really work in your favour in your dealings with both sexes.

An expertly timed touch with another guy could lead you to be seen as a confident and trustworthy guy. (But remember to not leave the hand there to long. That can get messy.)

For men especially, for men of all cultures and religions and especially if you are doing international business, learn how to shake hands properly. My father drummed it into my brother and I the importance of a firm handshake and occasionally I find myself giving a dead fish hand shake and I admonish myself. I was taught that you can tell a lot about a person from their handshake. The firmness of it and whether you look at the person in the eye or not.

Remember with touch, if you are uncertain about it, then that is going to come across, especially man on woman. She might sense your lack of confidence and uncertainty and immediately throw you in the friends heap.

It is all about your feeling towards touch. If you feel uncomfortable about it, the other person will feel uncomfortable about it and things will go downhill from there.

One suggestion I saw recently about improving your touch is to join salsa dancing lessons. Not a bad idea if I do say so myself.