THESE THINGS DON'T HORRIFY ME AS AN INTROVERT: They shouldn't horrify you either.

https://introvertdear.com/news/things-that-horrify-introverts-the-most/

I saw this article the other day. It was a really interesting read so I thought that I would go through it and see how the 13 things that horrify introverts apply to yours truly and to some people I know well. Here are the 13 things. How do they apply to you? I would love to hear your comments.

1. When people call - and a text or email would have been sufficient. - Hmm, this is an interesting one. Maybe it says something about my age or my upbringing, I'm not sure but I prefer to use the phone especially when you want to organise something. Going back and forth by text can be very annoying and on some occasions can take hours or days just to organise a meet up on a Friday evening. 

2. Not being able to exit an intense social setting. - This has pissed me off over the years. When my energy has been used up and I want to go home and crash, there is always one person who takes it as a personal affront that I would even contemplate going home and would peer pressure me to stay and then complain when I wasn't as energetic as before. I wish I understood then what I understand then. 

3. Networking events. -

"What do you do?"

"What do you do on the weekends?"

"Why did you come to Japan?"

"Can you speak Japanese?"

"Where do you live?"

"Nice to meet you."

I'm getting sleepy just writing these things. I think you guys get the idea.

4. Being put on the spot. - This is an interesting one. For me it depends on the day and how I am feeling. On some days, if I'm put on the spot then that is fine, I just take it in my stride. On other days there is absolutely no way that you are going to get me up there in front of other people and potentially make a fool of myself. Find someone else.

5. Two words that strike intense fear into my heart are "overnight stay." - I don't really understand this one. I love overnight stays especially in an area that you are not familiar with. Double points if it is near a beach or lake or a scenic area where you can go for walks etc. 

6. First dates terrify me. - Not any more. I am so used to these first dates that it just gets boring occasionally. I think what terrifies introverts about first dates are the batches of small talk that we have to go through. Loo at number three in this list to get an idea of what I am talking about. A first date is just like a networking event but for two people instead of 200 people. 

7. Public speaking scares me to death. - No. I've always enjoyed public speaking one of those things that seems to be so scary to most people. I remember a few years ago I went to an event in which I had to speak. The people before me were so nervous that they couldn't get off the stage fast enough. The mumbled their way through the speech and basically ran off the stage. 

8. Getting trapped in a social commitment that can prolong for hours. - I remember when I was younger I would want to go to my father's social functions or the sport team's club rooms. This was fun for a few hours but then I wanted to go home but my father would want to stay, talking and catching up with friends. He would tell me that he was ready to go but the time between that proclamation and actually getting in the car to go was an extremely long time as he seemed to want to say goodbye to everyone in the club rooms and their dogs as well. Now I understand why my mother would get shitty with him and curse under her breath as we waited for his grand exit. 

9. Having roommates - thus having to be social all the time - is an introverts worst nightmare. - Never had a problem with this one. I would just go into the room, sometimes without saying "hi" and do my thing in there. Nothing wrong with that.

10. My biggest fear is being embarrassed. - Not for me. I do embarrassing things all the time in the guise of trying to improve myself. Let me think of some, oh yes, salsa dancing lessons. I was terrible. I had two left feet. Playing sports that I wasn't very good at. I had the gymnasium laugh at me one time. I'm sure my face went the same red as my singlet. Sure, I was embarrassed but I realised that that embarrassment is only for a short period of time. It is only for that day. How many other people who were present in that gymnasium on that day remember it? Um, maybe about zero. 

11. I feel my introversion can scare off a romantic partner. - Yes and no. Your smile could scare them off. The way that you say the word "specific" might scare them off. Who knows? Maybe even your toe could scare them off.

Well George, that was an interesting study in the relationships between men and women. 

12. I fear being alone forever because of my introversion. - Just like in number 11, your introversion is not going to make you be alone. Other things might but don't blame introversion. 

13. I find it horrifying when my work manager announces, “Let’s have a team-building exercise today.” - Well, I don't work in a team so I'm fine with this one. Sure the people I do work with might have one or two things a year but it isn't a big deal and what is three hours out of your year? 

There, you see? It isn't a huge problem being an introvert. I don't know why people make it out as such. You are just doing things that are perfectly normal to YOU.

2020! Which is it going to be?

 2020. 

When historians look back on 2020, what is the first thing they are going to talk about?

The cancelled Olympics?

The American presidential election? (Quite possibly)

The fourth season of The Crown? (It's really good so far.)

All three of those are likely candidates (maybe not The Crown) but I think we all know the answer to my question above. Of course, the Covid-19 Pandemic.

It has been a very "interesting" year for people around the globe. Unfortunately we have had deaths. We have had riots. Unfortunately we have had lockdowns. We have had unemployment. We have had underemployment. We have had hand washing galore. We have had temperatures taken multiple times a day.

All of these are negative but what positives have we got out of it? Lets look at it from an introvert's point of view.

First of all there is a lot more home time. For example, a lot of my work has gone online and so that means staying at home throughout the day. I notice some of my clients are spending two days at work while the other three days are at home. 

For introverts this is great as they don't have to deal with their colleagues coming to their desk and asking inane questions or participating in the water cooler talk. Gossip or what have you. People can get a lot more work done at home and then when they have finished it is a 0 minute commute to the kitchen. Also the best thing is that you can ask, "Pants? What are they?"

Secondly, this has something to do with the first one, you have a chance to really concentrate on your work. There are no distractions and no phone calls to take away your concentration and if you do get a phone call, it is easy to ignore it. (I know shock horror. I can hear you asking, "what if it is a client?" Look, I'm sure they will survive. And if they get their knickers in a twist because you called them back two hours later, then do you really want to deal with them? I know, that sounds shocking but think about it.)

Also because we are spending more time at home we are spending more time with our loved ones and that can only be good, can't it? 

Of course this whole thing can kind of be anti-social and you could stay at home for days on end. I know in the early stages of the pandemic I stayed inside for up to 4 or 5 days at a time. It wasn't too bad but even though I am an introvert I am by no means a hermit and it did get boring from time to time. 

My recommendation is to use this time to build your future life. Maybe try and lose weight. Try to start a business. Write that novel you have always said that you would. Catch up on your reading. I'm sure you have hundreds of books and articles lying around that haven't been read. 

This could be the most interesting year of your life or you could feel depressed by it all. Which is it going to be? 

"ARE YOU FREE TONIGHT?"

 I always like it how some people will ask you,

"Are you free tonight?"

I always used to tell the truth (it is important to tell the truth) and say that (more often than not) I wasn't doing anything. 

Of course I didn't have any plans to leave the house but I did want to sit in front of the television and blob. (That is a technical term by the way.)

Of course most people who ask if "you are free tonight" and they hear the "no I'm not" reply will automatically assume that you want to go and hit the town with them. This can be problematic for the introvert because they do actually have plans but the aforementioned "blob" is something that they don't want to admit to and it (for some people ) makes them seem lazy even though you are doing what comes naturally to you and that is re-charge at home.

So, what can you do if you are asked this question?

1. Ask straight up, "what do you have planned?" and if it is not what you want to do, say so and try not to crack under the pressure of the guilt trips etc.

2. Tell the truth. "No, I'm blobbing in front of the TV tonight."

3. You could ask what they want to do and then decide then and there. 

"Are you free tonight?"

"Why? What are you doing?"

"A whole bunch of people are going to hit the town tonight. It's going to be epic."

"I'm going to take a rain check. Have a good time."

"C'mon man. It's going to be epic. Don't be such a spoil sport."

"Have a great time. See you next week."

4. Tell them that you are not feeling well.

Whatever you decide, make sure you make it your decision. Don't be pressured into anything. If you want, ask that person to come and hang out with you. You never know.