PEOPLE WHO SAY LETS DO SOMETHING AND THEN NEVER FOLLOW THROUGH

It always surprises me when you hear from someone who you haven't heard from for a long time and they say the following:

"If you want to get a coffee send me a message."

OK. Thank you for the invitation to do the work. Why don't you just ask me out for a coffee now? 

I got a message from a woman who I romantically pursued a few years ago and failed dramatically. She decided that we were going to be friends and nothing more. (Did you notice that I didn't write "just friends" because I think that demeans the meaning of the word friends.)

We chatted on Messenger for a few minutes. I was walking home. We hadn't seen each other for two and a half years and to be quite honest, that time was really boring. She seemed more infatuated with the goings-on on her phone. It seemed like I was there for some amusement between checking her phone.

Anyway, we chatted for a few moments and she brought out the above line. I said OK and then did absolutely nothing about it.

Is the above line another version of "lets do lunch"? Am I too gullible? Do I take everything at face value and I shouldn't? I don't know. What I do know that if these people do want to have a coffee they will ask me then and there and it is merely a greeting to end the conversation.

Maybe I should start an online campaign to stop these greetings with no balls behind them. Maybe not. But please make me a promise, if you say something like "lets have lunch" or "lets have a coffee" bloody well mean it. 

I better stop here before I start sounding like a whinging Kiwi. 

DOES SHY MEAN THAT YOU ARE BORING?

I'm a fan of cooking shows. Whether it be Masterchef or some other kind of show. (In fact recently I've been watching a show on Netflix about BBQing.) I enjoy watching the contestants come up with restaurant quality dishes and then having it judged by the panel of experienced and famous chefs from around the world. I've even watched one episode of Masterchef New Zealand in which I would like to copy what they have done in that particular show. I didn't know what a croquembouche was at that time but I do now and I think that it would be a good challenge even if I can't boil an egg. Oh dear!

One day I was watching the Gordon Ramsay show Hell's Kitchen. This show is interesting too but I seem to prefer Masterchef as the contestants are talented amateurs as opposed to Hell's Kitchen in which the contestants seem to be trained chefs from the start.

Anyway Gordon Ramsay, who I quite like on television. I don't know why. I find him very entertaining and I really like his passion and I wish that I had a fraction of the passion that he shows. He was tasting the signature dishes of the contestants. One of the contestants had admitted to the camera that she was shy. I wondered if what she meant was that she was introverted.

By the way, I'm sure you know that difference between being shy and being introverted but if you don't here it is:

Introvert = the way you energise

Shy = the fear of social judgement.

They are not one in the same.

Back to Hell's Kitchen. Gordon Ramsay was tasting the dishes and he came to the "shy" woman's dish. He tasted it and his critique was that the dish like her was boring.

That got me thinking, does being shy mean you are boring? Does that apply to introverts as well? Do some people think because you are not speaking at the top of your voice and the fact that you are not raving every Friday night that you are boring? 

The answer to the question is, it depends. Some people are going to see you as boring. Unfortunately, that is life. They see a timid person who doesn't have a voice who is not gregarious who is constantly avoiding human communication. It sounds harsh I know but what can you do about their judgement of you? Nothing. You could prove them wrong but I am sure that you have other things to do rather than trying to please some party animal.

The people who do know you are going to know the true you. They are going to know your sense of humour, they are going to know your intelligence, they are going to know your playful nature.

Let me ask you, who do you want to impress more? The party animals who probably don't even know your name or the people that mean the most to you? 

I think the answer is pretty obvious.

Shy people are boring to some people but they have a lot to offer to other people. So before you start judging people see if that they might have something to offer you. 

START AGAIN

 I made a mistake in my last post. My plan was to explain, in my unique way, the MBTI system. Trying to make sense of each type. 

I wasn't really in the right way to do as it would take a lot of work and when I realised that I fell off the wagon so to speak. I'm still committed to the project but instead of writing one a day. I will compile all 16 and then publish them one a day so that you can get a better understanding of what makes the MBTI tick.