"My solitude doesn't depend on the presence or absence of people, on the contrary, I hate who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company."
Basically what this is saying is that I'm OK being alone. I have no problem with that but if you do want to join me, make sure that you are offering me something real. Something that I can relate to. Something that I want. I don't want inane smalltalk about things that are of no interest to me.
"Sometimes the people with the greatest potential often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double edged sword - it lives at the heart of their brilliance, but it also makes them more susceptible to life's pains. Good thing we aren't being penalised for handing in our purpose late. The soul doesn't know a thing about deadlines." - Jeff Brown Does this strike a chord with you?
Have you taken a long time to figure out your life purpose?
Were you worried that everyone around you knew what they wanted to do?
If it worries you, listen to the following song:
"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most 40-year-olds I know still don't." - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) by Baz Luhrmann "You don't choose your life's purpose, you discover it. When you do, it opens up a whole new world to you." - Sandy Gallagher Let me tell you something, when you discover your life purpose you wonder why youdidn't discover it a long time ago.
Sandy Gallagher also says that your purpose should benefit people long after you have departed this earth.
I suppose the 'take home' from today is that you will find your purpose. It might not pop up straight away but if you keep on doing the right things, then one day your purpose will present itself. Run with it. You never know where it will take you.
Ordinarily for me, this kind of news wouldn't do much for me. I would just gloss over it and that would be it.
What really interested me about this was the following line from the article:
Both Curwin and Stead were stunned to learn of McClure's behaviour with the rising batting prospect described as "mild-mannered." "It's totally out of character," Stead said. "Kenny is normally pretty mild-mannered and you don't usually hear too much from him. It certainly came out of the blue."
Oh yes?
What I see here is (and this is without actually meeting the guy) that he is definitely an introverted guy. He probably keeps to himself a lot but is still popular guy within the team environment. Maybe he doesn't say much but when he does say something then people listen. I know that was my experience.
Sometimes the quiet ones can be pushed to their limits. Sometimes people who you think are quiet and not saying much, do have an explosive side. I know I do when I have stupid people around me.
I'm not condoning what this guy did. Assaulting another person is just not on at all.
Sometimes however, a quiet person is going to explode and if they do just let them. Let them vent. As long as they don't start committing a crime like this guy then just let them go. You will find that they will be back to their usual self soon enough and probably, like the cricketer, embarrassed about it.
*Please be warned. Some bad language coming up in this post.
You really should give a fuck.
We get the advice all the time that "don't give a fuck." In certain circumstances, that is good advice. You shouldn't care about things that don't matter or that don't affect you in any way.
However. the things that really get you going, that really light a fire in you, those circumstances, you should give a fuck. The things that really matter in in your life.
Remember you shouldn't give a fuck about the things you can't control but 100% give it for things you can control.
"If an introvert tells you they love you, believe them. They have most likely thought about it for a while like we do everything."
Yep, I can relate to that and I am sure you all can too especially if you fall on the introvert side of the spectrum.
Things take time. We have to think things through. To really think about what is best for us before saying what we want to say. Whereas extroverts might like blurt it out without thinking.
The Rugby League World Cup was held in Australia and New Zealand late in 2017. 14 countries participated in the event.
For those of you who don't know what Rugby League is, it is a game similar to Rugby Union but unlike Rugby Union which has 15 players in one team, Rugby League only has 13.
I wouldn't say that it is the most popular sport in the world with only one country claiming the sport as their national sport. That country is Papua New Guinea.
The final at the time of writing hasn't been played. That game will be between the old foes, Australia and England.
Undoubtedly the darling team of the tournament has been Tonga.
There was a bit of controversy before the tournament started as some star players from Australia and New Zealand changed their allegiance at the last minute and decided to play for Tonga.
I think this decision by some of these players has made the tournament very interesting as now instead of it being, as always a three horse race between Australia, England and New Zealand, now become arguably a five horse race with Fiji, and Tonga in the mix.
And so that proved correct with both Tonga and Fiji making the semi-finals.
Whereas Fiji was beaten comfortably by pre-tournament favourites Australia, undoubtedly the best and most controversial game of the tournament was the other semi-final between England and Tonga.
England had a comfortable 20-0 lead going into the last eight minutes of the game when all hell broke loose. Tonga scored 3 tries in five minutes to bring the score back to 20-18 with about a minute to play.
In the final minute a Tongan player was rampaging towards the line looking to win the game. It looked like he scored but the referee disallowed the try that would have won the game.
Naturally both the Tongan team and the 30,0000 Tongan fans in the crowd were not happy. But the score was in the book and the England team was off to the final in Brisbane, Australia.
In the aftermath of the match, there was a peaceful protest in downtown Auckland attracting thousands of people on the next two days.
This got me thinking.
Are the Tongans getting together because they generally believe that they were denied the win on the weekend or is it just another chance to get together as the previous few weeks have been so fun that they want to more fun with their mates and it is the place to be seen?
I would say that it is a bit of both. I would say that for a small percentage they are genuinely angry about the result of the game and the final play of the game and that is fair enough but I think that for most of them it has been a great six weeks and they don't want it to end so it was a great chance to get out there and meet their friends and really celebrate their heritage.
As far as I see it the Tongan fans just wanted the party to continue and if they are not being a nuisance and holding up traffic and the like then all power to them. They are not be violent and aggressive so as long as that is the case their is nothing wrong with it.
It is a bunch of extroverts having a great time and I have no problem with it whatsoever.
There comes a time in life where you need to "suck it up." You need to do things that might not be pleasant in the moment but in the long run they need to be done.
Maybe you have been putting things off. Maybe you have decided that enough is enough.
As they say, no time is better than now to do the things that you need to do to get the things that you want.
You will have to sacrifice some things. You will have to do things that you are not comfortable with, do things that are out of your comfort zone. You will have to do things that you might not normally do or do them in places that you don't normally do them because that is the only time you can do them. (see the photo.)
You might have to live in places for a few months that you don't particularly want to. You might have to eat foods that you don't particularly care for. However, if you have an end goal in mind then it shouldn't be too much of a pain because you are trying to accomplish that goal
You can't make any excuses. You have stand up (or sit down) and get to work.
To paraphrase the Nike Ad "JUST GO AND DO IT!"
Not great advice I know but at the end of the day, that is what it is all about.
I used to think that the words empathy and sympathy were the same. Of course I know now that they are completely different.
Sympathy is when you feel sorrow or compassion for the other person like when someone close to them may have passed away.
Empathy is basically putting yourself in their shoes.
I believe in sales and sales support that you really need empathy for the customer or client. Unfortunately a lot of people forget that.
I used to work part time in a bar. It was a job that I really enjoyed because it was fun and most people that were there, were there to have fun. One day I was asked about a particular product that we had for sale. Unfortunately we didn't have any on stock so I told that customer that I also wanted that product and was disappointed that we didn't have it available either.
I think that the customer (and my boss) were quite impressed with my response.
How many times have you had a service staff member answer your question that left a bad taste in your mouth?
There are ways to do these things and to show empathy to the customer is one of those things. It is just a subtle tweak in your language but it will make all the difference.
"Anti-social behaviour is a trait of intelligence in a world full of conformists."- Nikola Tesla
Is this true? What is he saying in this quote?
First of all, and you must remember this, all of you reading this post, introverts and extroverts alike, introverts are NOT anti-social. How dare you for even think that? Introverts just recharge in a different way to most other people.
I think what Tesla is saying in this quote is that sometimes you have to disappear to get things done.
You will find that in history, the people who have changed the world and I am thinking Steve Jobs when I write that weren't conformists. They had to go against society. They had to go against what 'the herd' believed in. They had to shut themselves off from those nasty comments and queries about why you are doing such a thing and just get it done because of the vision in their head.
So, if you want to get something done, you have to disappear. You have to be anti-social, whatever that means. (I still think anti-social is a term made up by extroverts to call people who won't go and have a drink with them.)
Cutting yourself off from society shows that you are committed to what you are doing. You are going to give 110% and you are going to win or die trying.
Conformists usually don't try. They just go along with the flow.
Is that what Tesla is saying in the quote? What do you think?
Regular readers will notice that I haven't been posting as much regularly. This is because I have been really busy with my regular job and to be quite honest, when I get home after 9pm on most nights, the last thing I want to do is sit down and try and be creative, especially when I need to me up and about at 5am the next morning.
This is just a bad excuse of course as we all have 24 hours in a day or 1,440 minutes and if I was better organised then it shouldn't be a problem to write daily.
The secret is, is to organise your time better. i.e. have better time management skills and also have the discipline to do what you say you are going to do.
Some of you might think that Jim Carrey is just a movie actor who acts in those slapstick movies and does crazy things with his face.
Here is a list of some of his movies:
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Dumb and Dumber
Liar Liar
The Truman Show
Man on the Moon
Bruce Almighty
Yes Man
It would be fair when you look at that list to say that, yep he is a slapstick movie actor although in saying that The Truman Show couldn't be categorised as a slapstick movie. Man on the Moon as well although I don't know that movie as well as the other ones.
There is another side to Jim Carrey though as you can see with the video above. He is really into visualisation. Believe me it does work as long (and Jim says it) as you do the work.
What I suggest is to do what Jim did and make visualisation a part of your routine. Hell, why not put a cheque for $10 million in your wallet? What is the worst that can happen?
I have a question for you. Lets say that money is not a concern and if you had a a choice, would you stay in a hostel while you were traveling or would stay in a hotel?
What does you answer say about you?
Do you want to be alone or do you want to meet people easily?
Yesterday, I went to Mount Takao which is on the outskirts of Tokyo. It is a very popular tourist destination as you can access it within one hour from central Tokyo and it is a nice natural setting.
It was the first time that I have ever been there and because it was the last day of a three day weekend it was jammed pack with people.
There are two ways to go up the mountain, one is by cable car and the other one is to walk up it along a sealed road. We chose the sealed road. (I remember my geography teacher a high school saying that to get to Machu Picchu in Peru, you can either take a three hour train journey or you can hike for two days. He said that you will always remember it if you hiked.)
There were many people "climbing" it yesterday. It felt like a pilgrimage. At some stages it felt like I couldn't get to the top because of an injury I sustained the day before but we finally managed to get to the top or the shrine, anyway.
After taking a few photos, we decided to walk down again and the only way we could do it is go down the same way we went up. A little bit of the way down I found another way down to a waterfall. We decided to go, to escape the crowds more than anything else.
We walked down this very steep path. There was hardly anyone around us and it felt like we had the place to ourselves. (I secretly wondered if we were going to run into some monkeys or wild boar.)
About 20 minutes down the track we met someone else who was climbing back up the path. She said that the waterfall was nothing much and it was a waste of energy. We thought about going back up but that would mean that we would get tired very quickly. We continued down the track and finally saw the waterfall. She was right, it was nothing much. We decided to continue down the path some more and we finally made it to the bottom of the mountain.
We continued on a path following a river and then made it to the train station where we wanted to go.
The river was nice and the path along the river was really nice too. It really made a good afternoon.
I hope you enjoyed my recollection of my Sunday walk. The reason I am talking about it is that sometimes in life we have a decision to make. Which way do we go? Do we follow the herd or do we trust our intuition and go our own path?
It is easy to go the way that 99% of people are going because you risk the chance of ridicule if it doesn't go to plan. You risk being ostracised and that isn't a nice feeling and you also run the risk of utter humiliation.
However if you stay firm and stay with your convictions then what you re doing the naysayers will turn around and wonder about what you are doing.
Just make that one difficult decision and things will change. Trust me on that.
Here is an interesting quote from the patron saint of introverts worldwide, Susan Cain:
"Introverts focus on the meaning they make of the events swirling around them; extroverts plunge into the events themselves. Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone; extroverts need to recharge when they don't socialise enough." - Susan Cain
It is true that extroverts do plunge into events. They love it. It really gives them a buzz.
Sometimes as an introvert we have to get out of our heads and plunge into it like the extroverts of this world.
Sir Richard Branson didn't really know what he was doing when he started Virgin but he dived in and now look at what he has. He runs his company(ies) from his own island in the Caribbean. Not bad I say.
I don't follow the English Premier League as much as I used to. In fact at the time of writing this I wouldn't know which team is on top of the table.
Hmmm, lets look it up. I see, the two Manchester teams are top of the tree. I didn't know that.
I used to watch a lot of the Premier League on television and I was familiar with a lot of the players. Now, I wouldn't have a clue. Apparently, Wayne Rooney is back at his boyhood club, Everton. (Arsenal supporters might want to turn away for a few minutes.)
Of the players I do know in the EPL, one of them plays for Manchester United and his name is Marouane Fellaini. He is a Belgian player and has played for the Red Devils since 2013.
How do I know this?
Well, I won't lie, Wikipedia does help here. It helps a lot. Special mention to Mr. Google too.
Seriously, how do I know Marouane Fellaini? It is because of his distinctive hairstyle. His afro.
I don't much about Fellaini's footballing ability but I'm guessing that since he plays for Manchester United he must have some skills.
Would I know his name if he didn't have his afro? The answer is no. His hairstyle makes him stand out, well at least for me, a returning EPL fan.
He could shave his afro off and I probably wouldn't remember him or even know his name.
My point in this post is that sometimes you have to do something that stands out. You don't have to grow an afro like Marouane Fellaini but it could be something distinctive that you wear. There is a strategy in the seduction community called peacocking.
OK, you could use peacocking for that but you could also it to stand out. To be remembered.
Sometimes in life you need to step out of your shell on occasions. It is all very well being in your comfort zone but when push comes to shove you have to step out and risk the chance of ridicule. You have to risk being judged by your peers but if you are fully committed to it. If you are all about your purpose and vision then it shouldn't matter what people think. They are just showing their insecurities and fears.
Be prepared to stand out. Be prepared to be ridiculed and at the end of the day, be prepared to succeed in life.
Right, I'm off to the pub. I see Manchester United is playing Chelsea this weekend. I see crosstown rival, Manchester City also have a big game against Arsenal. The All Blacks are playing this weekend too. Oh the dilemma. First world problems indeed.
It is early November. Did you enjoy your Halloween activities? Did you get all dressed up in some kind of costume and go out trick and treating or even going to some kind of party?
If you did, I hope you had a good time and most importantly you did it because you WANTED to not because some person who gets energised by parties bullied you into going.
Some people who read this are probably thinking that the word bully is a bit extreme in this circumstances but lets look at the definition of bully.
According to the dictionary on my computer:
A bully is a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker OR someone who uses superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
If an extroverted friend made you go to the Halloween party even though you wanted to stay home and watch Netflix, that's bullying isn't it? Although you allowed it to happen.
Now, people are going to be up in arms saying that I am blaming the victim here and I am going to say that if you went to a Halloween party even though you didn't want to then you are a victim but you should pick your friends better or be strong and tell them no.
I'm not saying that I am perfect, I have had times when I have been at a bar or a party when it was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted to be in front of my TV or PC but I said yes. I was made to feel bad about my original decision and that wasn't good. I allowed myself to be bullied.
Remember, if you are doing something to make someone else happy, in the end no one is going to be happy and you are going to resent the person who asked you and most importantly you might start to resent yourself.
Make the decision that you want to make, not anybody else because at the end of the day you are the one living your life, no one else.
