Being judged. How can you make this less painful?

You might have come to my work for a number of reasons. You might be a little shy and you want to make a bit more of an impact around people that you might encounter on a regular basis. Hey, you might be really shy and you just want to find ways to make it more comfortable to speak to strangers at events that you feel not very comfortable being at. You might just find the whole introvert/extrovert/ambivert concepts interesting.

Whatever reason you are here, we are all, me included, trying to improve ourselves and become the an outstanding person in this extroverted world that we live in.

Whether we like it or not, we are going to be judged on a few things and this could be among work colleagues, people in your social circle, sport team mates or even people that you have just started dating.

This is going to be from a male point of view but I'm sure that is relevant to females as well.

So lets have a look. What are you going to be judged on?:

1. How you treat people around you.

How do you treat people around you? Are you an arsehole to service people for example? Do you look down on people who are servers in a restaurant or do you engage with them? People are going to judge you on this, so be nice. People in restaurants/bars etc are people too. They are trying to get ahead in this life, like you are, so give them some respect.


2. What energy do you bring to the situation?

Are you someone who sucks the life out of every situation by being such a negative so and so? I made a New Years's resolution this year that I would cut down on complaining which I think is quite a good little goal or aim to have. It is good to be around people who are positive and optimistic just don't make your optimism misguided.


3. Are you put together? 

This doesn't mean that you have to be like the guy below and you don't have to have a zillion dollars in your bank account but what is means is whether you look after yourself or not. Basically, do you take pride in your appearance. You don't have to be wearing a $5000 suit but you take pride and you take time to think about what you wear. Unfortunately we live in a world where you are judged straight away on what you wear so you might as well take some time on it.

4. How do you walk around?

Someone who walks around at one hundred miles an hour, do they give out an vibe that they are friendly and maybe someone that you want to get to know? I'll answer that for you. NO! I believe that people who are bit more slower in their movements convey a sense of control and confidence, whereas faster walkers just look stressed.


5. Reliability

Are you someone that people can rely on or are you going to let people down by forgetting about your engagements and cancelling a couple of hours before you are supposed to meet? You might think that you are being cool by doing that showing that you a man or woman in demand and with a busy social life but all that you are going to do is piss people off and you are not going to get anywhere.


6. Chatting

I'm not talking about what you do online. Here, I am talking about what you do face to face with other people. Are you able to keep the conversation going with interesting topics? Are you able to keep the conversation going by being fun and interesting? If not, there are ways to practice this and become better. It is a skill after all and you can improve it with practice.


7. Are you interested in other people's hobbies and interests?

It's all very well rabbiting on about what you like and what you have been doing but if you do that you are not going to be in the conversation for very long. Remember that people's hobbies and interests are usually what define a person and what make them interesting to be around so ask them about what they like to do and you will win a new friend. But remember the most important thing, something that I am not very good at and I am trying to improve, LISTEN!


8. Your posse

You will be judged on who you spend time with. If you decide to spend time with drug addicts and no hopers you aren't going to be looked upon as being a very, lets say, engaging person. So surround yourself with people who will challenge you to be a better person.


9. Do you have goals?

If you don't have goals, what are you doing? Are you just going through the motions in this life? You are not going to be judged on what your goals are but you will be judged if you have any goals or not. I suggest that you start thinking of your goals and even more importantly, how are you going to accomplish them.


10. Confidence

All of this will bring confidence and if you have confidence you don't really care if you are judged or not. You are comfortable in your own skin and you won't really care about what other people who you don't really know think about you.


Whether we like it or not, we are going to judged by people around us and who we encounter on a daily basis. We might as well give them something to really judge. Become the best person of yourself and people are going to be very, very impressed.