Here are a few things you need to know if you are going to compare Introverts v Extroverts (which you shouldn't but lets be realistic)
1. Introverts get energy from themselves. For within their being. Extrovert get energy from outside interaction, interaction with people.
2. (I hate to write this) Introverts are often shy but please remember that the two are completely different. Extroverts are often sociable. (Well thank you Sherlock)
3. Introverts are different in public and private. (I wrote a post about Uchibenkei, which is a Japanese word which basically means being the lord of the manor in private while being reserved outside the house. The extrovert on the other hand are the same in public and private.
4. In a large group, our two friends are like chalk and cheese. An introvert is quiet while an extrovert is invariably the life and soul of the party.
5. An introvert will have a few lose friends (but please bare in mind that these friends will do anything for our introverted mate.). An extrovert will have a large number of friends.
6. An introvert can concentrate for a long time in low-key places while an extrovert is easily distracted by shiny objects and the new cool thing.
7. An introvert will think before he or she says anything. They will go over that telephone call a number of times in their head before dealing. They will imagine conversations in their head before they occur. The extrovert tends to think out loud.
8. An introvert will tend keep his or her emotions hidden. Sometimes you can't tell if they are interested in what you are saying or not. Extrovert like to unload their emotions. they want everyone to know.
There you go. There are some differences. They shouldn't be taken as gospel, just that it gives you some rough idea about introverts and extroverts.
Saturday, 15 February 2020
Thursday, 13 February 2020
Is Spock an Empath?
Recently I have been reading about empaths. It is something that I had seen a lot on the Internet and books and online articles but I didn't really understand what it meant. So I started digging around.
I'm currently reading this book by Barrie Davenport. Admittedly I'm only half way through it but it talks about Highly Sensitive People or as she calls them (us), HSPs. It also talks about empaths.
Early on in the book I could really identify with parts of what she was saying about HSPs especially when you almost take it personally when your parents are arguing/fighting etc.
I remember a couple of times my mother and father going for it and I didn't like it at all. It was almost scary. I don't know what was scarier the fact that they were asking all the idea that I had in my mind that, that was it and divorce was on the cards. (They are still happily married by the way. It seems their relationship has got stronger as they have got older.)
By reading this book, it made me aware why I had that reaction and I would like to thank Ms. Davenport for that.
What is an empath?
According to the dictionary on my computer, an empath is a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual and then it was prefaced by (chiefly in science fiction).
WHAT?
Does that mean that Mr. Spock is an empath? I suppose that is a question for another post.
Ms. Davenport says that an empath is a person with a series of behaviours and traits that reflect a heightened ability to feel the feelings of other people. WOW! That is definitely outside of my knowledge bank.
Can you identify with an HSPs or an empath? I'm sure some of you can.
I'm currently reading this book by Barrie Davenport. Admittedly I'm only half way through it but it talks about Highly Sensitive People or as she calls them (us), HSPs. It also talks about empaths.
Early on in the book I could really identify with parts of what she was saying about HSPs especially when you almost take it personally when your parents are arguing/fighting etc.
I remember a couple of times my mother and father going for it and I didn't like it at all. It was almost scary. I don't know what was scarier the fact that they were asking all the idea that I had in my mind that, that was it and divorce was on the cards. (They are still happily married by the way. It seems their relationship has got stronger as they have got older.)
By reading this book, it made me aware why I had that reaction and I would like to thank Ms. Davenport for that.
What is an empath?
According to the dictionary on my computer, an empath is a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual and then it was prefaced by (chiefly in science fiction).
WHAT?
Does that mean that Mr. Spock is an empath? I suppose that is a question for another post.
Ms. Davenport says that an empath is a person with a series of behaviours and traits that reflect a heightened ability to feel the feelings of other people. WOW! That is definitely outside of my knowledge bank.
Can you identify with an HSPs or an empath? I'm sure some of you can.
Sunday, 8 December 2019
Introvert Tactics
I watched the following video the other day and he makes some excellent points in it. Let me go through them:
First of all, being introvert has nothing to do with being shy. Actually in the video he gives an excellent example about how introverts roll. He says that he will be in a club and then after a couple of hours he'd wish that he was back home on the couch watching a movie or something similar which is Introvert 101.
Also, what does being an introvert have to do with social anxiety. Remember it is about how you recharge yourself not whether you crumble in the front of other people. Although in saying that, some people are going to struggle
Lets go through the five pieces of advice in this video:
1. Nervous Reframe
This is an excellent piece of advice. You are not nervous about what is going to happen but you are excited about what is going to happen.
In this video, a lot of his examples are about pick up and talking to women, so the example would be rather than being nervous that you might look stupid and get made fun of, you are excited that you are going to meet someone great and you might go out on a date with them later.
2. Utilise your Passion
I like this one a lot and I say this in my blog as well. When someone asks you "What do you do?' they are mostly waiting for you to say your job title and preferably in language that they can understand. However, when you start talking about your passion then you become excited and you will become a more interesting person and people will ask you more questions and it snowballs from there.
3. Make it Certain
What holds us back is uncertainty and because we don't know what is going to happen we don't want to do anything. But if you prepare and you have a plan of attack then in your mind you are going to be more calm and whatever happens you knew it was going to happen.
4. Initiate Always
In my opinion this is the best piece of advice in the video. Always take the lead. If you are a man and you see a woman that you want to talk to, go over and say hi and remember you don't need any fancy pick up line like "I've lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?" That's just cheesy.
If you see someone you haven't seen for a long time, go over and say hi. You don't have to spend the next three days and three nights with them, just say hi and talk for a couple of minutes and say bye. I assure you the other person will be happy that you made the effort to initiate it and if they aren't, what did you do? You went and said hi. What a monster you are! (That's sarcasm.)
5. Stay Mysterious
I must admit that I don't really get this one but I suppose if you focus your attention on the other person, then you are not going to be talking too much and the other person would be happy because you are talking about them and then they realise that you haven't said anything and that would make them realise that they don't know you at all.
In summary:
First of all, being introvert has nothing to do with being shy. Actually in the video he gives an excellent example about how introverts roll. He says that he will be in a club and then after a couple of hours he'd wish that he was back home on the couch watching a movie or something similar which is Introvert 101.
Also, what does being an introvert have to do with social anxiety. Remember it is about how you recharge yourself not whether you crumble in the front of other people. Although in saying that, some people are going to struggle
Lets go through the five pieces of advice in this video:
1. Nervous Reframe
This is an excellent piece of advice. You are not nervous about what is going to happen but you are excited about what is going to happen.
In this video, a lot of his examples are about pick up and talking to women, so the example would be rather than being nervous that you might look stupid and get made fun of, you are excited that you are going to meet someone great and you might go out on a date with them later.
2. Utilise your Passion
I like this one a lot and I say this in my blog as well. When someone asks you "What do you do?' they are mostly waiting for you to say your job title and preferably in language that they can understand. However, when you start talking about your passion then you become excited and you will become a more interesting person and people will ask you more questions and it snowballs from there.
3. Make it Certain
What holds us back is uncertainty and because we don't know what is going to happen we don't want to do anything. But if you prepare and you have a plan of attack then in your mind you are going to be more calm and whatever happens you knew it was going to happen.
4. Initiate Always
In my opinion this is the best piece of advice in the video. Always take the lead. If you are a man and you see a woman that you want to talk to, go over and say hi and remember you don't need any fancy pick up line like "I've lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?" That's just cheesy.
If you see someone you haven't seen for a long time, go over and say hi. You don't have to spend the next three days and three nights with them, just say hi and talk for a couple of minutes and say bye. I assure you the other person will be happy that you made the effort to initiate it and if they aren't, what did you do? You went and said hi. What a monster you are! (That's sarcasm.)
5. Stay Mysterious
I must admit that I don't really get this one but I suppose if you focus your attention on the other person, then you are not going to be talking too much and the other person would be happy because you are talking about them and then they realise that you haven't said anything and that would make them realise that they don't know you at all.
In summary:
- Make it exciting
- Talk about your passion
- Certainty
- Initiate
- Mysterious
Excellent video. Take a look if you haven't already.
Saturday, 7 December 2019
IS IT THE BEAUTIFUL GAME?
There is no doubt that football (soccer) is the sport of the masses, the most popular sport in the world. There is no argument about that.
The excitement, the passion of the players and the supporters, the last minute goals to win or draw the game:
It's all there and it can be fantastic sporting theatre. However like any theatre there is always a villain and that villain is the constant running at the referees, shouting and gesticulating. The diving and the simulating, I think it ruins it all.
This afternoon I was watching the final game of the J League season. FC Tokyo had to beat Yokohama Marinos by four goals to become champions. In the end Yokohama won quite easily 3-0 and became champions for the first time in 15 years but what struck em about the game was midway through the second half when the FC Tokyo striker Kensuke Nagai was going for goal and was fouled by the Yokohama keeper. Whether it should be a yellow card or a red card was debated and needed with people running at the referee and his assistant and it just got tiresome.
For me what was a great spectacle was ruined by the antics of the players.
I think that referees should be more fearless in giving cards for that kind of shenanigans. Also yellow cards should be like rugby and be a 10 minute sin bin.
I would like to know what football fans think of my 10 minute sin bin thoughts.
The excitement, the passion of the players and the supporters, the last minute goals to win or draw the game:
It's all there and it can be fantastic sporting theatre. However like any theatre there is always a villain and that villain is the constant running at the referees, shouting and gesticulating. The diving and the simulating, I think it ruins it all.
This afternoon I was watching the final game of the J League season. FC Tokyo had to beat Yokohama Marinos by four goals to become champions. In the end Yokohama won quite easily 3-0 and became champions for the first time in 15 years but what struck em about the game was midway through the second half when the FC Tokyo striker Kensuke Nagai was going for goal and was fouled by the Yokohama keeper. Whether it should be a yellow card or a red card was debated and needed with people running at the referee and his assistant and it just got tiresome.
For me what was a great spectacle was ruined by the antics of the players.
I think that referees should be more fearless in giving cards for that kind of shenanigans. Also yellow cards should be like rugby and be a 10 minute sin bin.
I would like to know what football fans think of my 10 minute sin bin thoughts.
Thursday, 5 December 2019
Situational Extrovert Gets Out of His Comfort Zone
Part of the Situational Extrovert experience is about getting out there and doing new things.
Over the years I have tried things that people have given me grief for. For example, I went to a salsa class a few times. I was completely useless. I had two left feet if you now what mean.
I went to a couple of guitar lessons. These lessons were about as successful as the salsa ones.
I even would do something first that other people were scared to do. I remember when I was at school and we had a fundraising hole in one competition on the field. I arrived at school early on that day and decided to have a go. None of my other friends wanted to step up so I did. It was a total disaster. The ball hit the side and made a huge noise but not as loud as the laughter coming from behind me.
Of course at the time it was a touch embarrassing but when I look back on it, I was proud of myself for getting out there and having a go before anyone else.
That is what the Situational Extrovert is all about. Getting out of your comfort zone for a short time. Stretching yourself.
What are you going to do this week to get yourself out of comfort zone? To expand your world.
Over the years I have tried things that people have given me grief for. For example, I went to a salsa class a few times. I was completely useless. I had two left feet if you now what mean.
I went to a couple of guitar lessons. These lessons were about as successful as the salsa ones.
I even would do something first that other people were scared to do. I remember when I was at school and we had a fundraising hole in one competition on the field. I arrived at school early on that day and decided to have a go. None of my other friends wanted to step up so I did. It was a total disaster. The ball hit the side and made a huge noise but not as loud as the laughter coming from behind me.
Of course at the time it was a touch embarrassing but when I look back on it, I was proud of myself for getting out there and having a go before anyone else.
That is what the Situational Extrovert is all about. Getting out of your comfort zone for a short time. Stretching yourself.
What are you going to do this week to get yourself out of comfort zone? To expand your world.
Wednesday, 4 December 2019
ENGAGING WITH SERVICE STAFF
Do you engage with sales staff or shop staff or servers in a restaurant?
As a situational extrovert I suggest you do exactly that from time to time. It will help you build situational extrovert confidence and I'm sure that it will make their day.
You don't have to do it every time because that will tire you out, believe me.
Do it once in a while but make sure that it is relevant and real not some made up banter you had written the night before.
ENGAGE, ENGAGE, ENGAGE and tell me how it went.
Good luck.
As a situational extrovert I suggest you do exactly that from time to time. It will help you build situational extrovert confidence and I'm sure that it will make their day.
You don't have to do it every time because that will tire you out, believe me.
Do it once in a while but make sure that it is relevant and real not some made up banter you had written the night before.
ENGAGE, ENGAGE, ENGAGE and tell me how it went.
Good luck.
Tuesday, 3 December 2019
TINDER etc
Hands up if you have never heard of Tinder?
Tinder is almost synonymous with dating in 2019. Every single person seems to have it on their phone and people swiping by the millions every day.
As a situational extrovert, sometimes it can be difficult to approach that person and start a relationship out of thin air. Tinder or whatever application you use can do that hard work for you but as some of you probably know, there are some things that might happen that can be difficult to cope with.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when the other person just disappears. You seem to getting along very well and then he or she just runs away. They become a ghost and you have no idea what happened. At the end of the day, unless you have met them in the flesh, they were literally just words and pixels on a screen and maybe they are doing you a favour.
As a situational extrovert, we want to encourage you to get out of the house and meet people but we know that it can be a little difficult so apps are the best but don't rely on them 100%. If you get out of the house, you might never know who you will meet.
Tinder is almost synonymous with dating in 2019. Every single person seems to have it on their phone and people swiping by the millions every day.
As a situational extrovert, sometimes it can be difficult to approach that person and start a relationship out of thin air. Tinder or whatever application you use can do that hard work for you but as some of you probably know, there are some things that might happen that can be difficult to cope with.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when the other person just disappears. You seem to getting along very well and then he or she just runs away. They become a ghost and you have no idea what happened. At the end of the day, unless you have met them in the flesh, they were literally just words and pixels on a screen and maybe they are doing you a favour.
As a situational extrovert, we want to encourage you to get out of the house and meet people but we know that it can be a little difficult so apps are the best but don't rely on them 100%. If you get out of the house, you might never know who you will meet.
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