BE SUPPORTIVE BUT BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY

I was born into a cricket playing family. I think I played my first game of cricket when I was seven or eight years old. I played it through school, where we won the New Zealand secondary school championships in the first year it was played.

I have followed cricket all my life although not as much in the last year or so as I have had other priorities but I still like to see what is going on in the international game and who is coming through and who is doing well.

By the way, if you are not that interested in cricket, this post might be a little boring for you. Apologies in advance.

Earlier today, I read this article about the confrontation between Cricket Australia, (the board governing the sport of cricket in Australia) and the players.

Basically there has been a standoff between the board and the players over how revenue should be shared. From my understanding, the international superstars have stood in solidarity with their first class team mates, who although paid quite well are on a fraction of what the international players get paid.

In this article we see the differing strategies of the players, most notably the captain and vice-captain of the Australian team.

One, Steve Smith has been quiet but firm, trying to cooperate with Cricket Australia while still supporting his fellow professionals. While David Warner has been, lets say, more vocal with his employers, hitting out against them both on social media and in the other traditional forms of media.

What does this have to do with anything?

I wonder if their attitudes and tactics has anything to do with:

     a. Their personalities

or

     b. Their respective educational backgrounds.

My answer to this is that it is difficult to know. I don't know these guys personally but from what I have seen on television and how they play the game, it doesn't surprise me how they have gone about it. Warner on the attack and Smith and bit more cautious. I'm not saying one is wrong and one is right, it is just how they have gone about it.

What I do know is that sometimes it is good to go on the attack. It is good to show your passion for something, to show your support.

You do have to pick your words carefully though as something said, especially on social media can be misinterpreted and that can have serious repercussions for the years to come.

The written word is very strange like that. Sometimes you think your joke or sarcastic comment will get a lot of laughs but then people misread it and suddenly you are in it up to your neck.

Another thing is that people these days are lot more thin-skinned than before. People seem to get offended a lot more easily than before. I have no idea why that is, it just seems to be the norm. Who knows?

All I can say to those people is:

INTROVERTS 101: HERE IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

Introverts 101: Here is all you need to know.

Introverts are not hermits, they are not reclusive and they are not antisocial.

If you are trying to understand an introvert, this is what you need to know.

1. Introversion is not shyness

Introversion and extroversion is all about how you energise. Introversion is not about not being able to talk to members of the opposite sex or not being able to get up in front of hundreds of people and delivering a speech or presentation.


2. Introverts are better in smaller groups

Introverts can seem out of place in a huge group. You won't find them standing in the middle of the circle, holding court and telling jokes and stories that when you break them down aren't that interesting for an introvert's ear who is more into talking about and listening to stories with more substance to them.

You will usually find introverts in a small group and the is when they feel the most comfortable.


3. Introverts prefer a good conversation

In New Zealand, older men when they meet you will ask you this question, "Whayddya know?" (What do you know?) I must admit I have never known how to answer this question. Admittedly, it is just a greeting but I have never created a decent response to this greeting/question. Occasionally, I would say, "not much." For some people, that kind of conversation is enough but for an introvert it is like pulling teeth. An introvert needs deeper conversations to really bond with the other people they are talking to. A conversation about the weather is not going to do it.

I've noticed recently that I've talked more in-depth about a topic we wee talking about and the conversation has quickly dissipated. Interesting, right? Pick your conversation partners carefully.


4. Give introverts some warning

There is nothing that introvert hates more than an extroverted friend calling them up and saying to meet them in the local bar in ten minutes.

I had this for awhile. My friend would call me and ask "what are you doing?" I mistakenly said that I was doing "nothing." (which to an introvert is doing something by the way, don't kid yourself. BY doing nothing, the introvert is recharging.) Unfortunately for introverts the world over, extroverts take that as meaning that you are free and ask you out and then get offended when you say no. If you want to lose an introverted friend, this is the way to do it.

Introverts need time to ready themselves, to put it in the schedule and to prepare for it. Don't deny them that.


5. Introverts need their special place

When I was growing up, I never invited hordes of people around to my place. I had the odd friend come over and we would play cricket or basketball or whatever but not a large number of people.

Why was that?

Because I liked my own personal space and people coming over were encroaching on my personal space. In my mind they could find things that I didn't want them to find so I didn't bother.


6. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert

Introversion is not something that can be cured. It is not a sickness or illness. It is something that you can go around thinking that you can change. Not at all.

Of course, I do believe that we do live in an extroverted society and it helps to be somewhat outgoing from time to time. You don't have to change your personality, you just need to use your energy a bit quicker in social occasions.

FRIENDS: Its a small number, but you must cultivate it.

Here is an interesting article about friends.

It says what I have been saying that we only have a small number of close friends and if you are a regular reader of this blog you will know that I have been saying that for a long time.

We do really only have four or five close friends and I do believe that we overuse the word friend.

For me, a friend is someone who you can ask at 3am on Tuesday morning for help. They will get out of bed to help you as you would at the drop of a hat.

I don't understand how someone can say they are having a birthday party with 700 of their closest friends. I doubt whether they know everyone's names.

I find the word 'friend' on Facebook to be a bit of a misnomer. There are some who I have never met and probably will never meet in my lifetime anyway. Like the article says there are people I see semi-regularly and some who I see maybe once a year.

Are they friends? I don't think so. They are 'mates.' (That word is such a useful word.)

Generally, introverted people will have less friends but you find that they are all extremely loyal to each other.

Extroverts might use the word 'friend' quite liberally. I tend to take that with a grain of salt. It is like when someone said they met Johnny Depp or some other famous person when in fact they only saw them from a distance.

Those top five will do anything for you and if they won't, you should demote them. I'm not being stupid or mean when I say that.

Friends are people who will say good things behind your back and difficult things to your face. They will always have your back and they will always give you a big kick in the backside if you need it or deserve it.

Don't worry how many friends you have on Facebook. It's a nice number but you need to cultivate that small number as well.

Daily RBL Video Blog - Do you have to be an extrovert to be a hair stylist?

This is a video I shot when I was having my hair cut. Thank you to Ayumi Horiuchi for her cooperation.

It seems that this kind of job, hair stylist, you need to be quite extroverted to have the energy to survive the day. You are on your feet all day and you have to talk to different people. As an introvert that sounds quite exhausting.

LEARN A LANGUAGE

Lets face it, us native English speakers are pretty lazy.

What?

You don't agree with me? Why not? How many other languages can you speak? I know you are pretty fluent in your mother tongue (well you should be anyway). But what else can you speak? No, swearing is not another language and the last time I checked, gibberish isn't a language either.

Learning to speak a foreign language opens up a whole new world to you.

Imagine if you learned to speak Mandarin Chinese. You could open yourself up to potentially 1 billion other people that you could talk to. If you are an outgoing extrovert that sounds like heaven.

A lot of you are going to say:

"What's the point in studying another language? Most people speak English anyway. So why should I waste my time?"

What are some of the benefits of learning another language?

1. Apparently it helps your brain. Like going to a gym to build muscle. Learning a new language helps build your brain. I know in Japan, a number of older retired men and women study foreign languages for fun, for social reasons and for learning in general. You can't question that.

2. Your whole world opens up and it makes life easier. I know in Japan I don't rely on anyone to escort me to the bank or to go through various things at shops etc. I'm very independent and life runs smoothly because of it.

3. I think it earns you respect. I respect all people who have a thorough understanding of the English language and can communicate to a good level. It shows that they have applied themselves and they have got the results. All power to them, I say.

Finally if you are not convinced, have a look at some of these videos and maybe you might change your mind:



NOVAK DJOKOVIC

ROGER FEDERER

MARK ZUCKERBERG

Not convinced?

This is for guys. What if the woman of your dreams casually pops into your life and she can only speak Spanish. What are you going to do?

Yes, I know she speaks English but I think you get my point.

Enjoying yourself is shown differently

Here's a question for today.

How do you know if someone is enjoying themselves?

Are they climbing the walls, shouting at the top of their voice, drawing attention to themselves and having hundreds of worshippers praising them at the club?

Or

Is it the guy who quietly comes everyday and then goes home but he he is there everyday?

Or

Is it that person who is taking a photo every five seconds while filming little videos for his or her Instagram feed?

We show our enjoyment in different ways. Just because the guy is not jumping up and down and shouting at the top his lungs that he loves everyone, it doesn't mean he is not enjoying his time.

Maybe he likes to sit casually in the corner. Talking to people who venture his way. Listening to the music as it is played. Hoping that his new favourite song is played. Observing the people in their natural habitat.

He is not yahooing. He is not telling everyone within earshot how good he is. He's just sitting there having a great time.

Let him be. He's fine. You don't have to ask him if he is fine or not. That is the way he enjoys himself and that is fine too. Just because he doesn't fit into what you think fun should be doesn't mean he is wrong. Far from it.

We enjoy in different ways. Deal with it.

SuperDad

I was reading this book the other day. The Way of the Superior Man is an interesting book written by David Deida.

I think if you read the title of the book you don't really need to think too much about what the book is about.

One of the chapters I read was about a man's purpose and his relationship with his family. The chapter got me thinking about men's lives all around the world and especially in this country, Japan.

Comedians in this country joke that the typical Japanese family hierarchy is the following:

We can take this for the joke that it is and it is quite funny because it always seems that poor old dad takes the brunt of everyone's frivolity but if we look into it a bit more thoroughly we tend to see that it is quite sad to say the least.

Why is this?

Well, it is because poor old dad has lost his sense of purpose. He goes to work in the morning to provide for his family. There is nothing wrong with that. It is very noble but Deida says that it doesn't set his soul on fire. He might be providing for his family and bringing home the bacon so to speak but he isn't doing anything for himself as a man. Because of this the children and his wife will sense this and they will sense the weakness and start attacking him verbally.

This guy treks off to work on a crowded train everyday for one hour each way. He joins the line of people snaking their way to the office to sit in front of a computer all day, have endless meetings, deal with a boss who is so out of touch with the idiosyncrasies of life in 2017 and to also deal with customers who want a five minute soft boiled egg delivered in three minutes. No wonder he is miserable. Then he goes home to find that no one respects him. His wife checked out years ago and the children think he stinks.

Yet if poor old Dad was to find his purpose, to find what he was put on this earth to do, to find his calling, he would miraculously find himself much more happier. His wife would find a difference in the way he carries himself and the children would want to be around him more and more.

What does all of this mean?

If indeed your purpose is to start some kind of business then just quitting your job and diving into the business in the deep end is probably a fool's move but the fact that you are working on your purpose in your down time is enough to show the other people in your family, who is 'the man.'

I know that it is easier said than done, but to find that thing that you want to get out of bed in the morning for. That thing that sets your soul on fire. That thing that sees you sitting at your desk at 10pm on a Saturday night because you are so involved in it, you are so focused on it. If you can find that, man oh man, you can become unstoppable.

You go from this:

To this:

Unlike Superman, no kryptonite will stop you. You will be faster than a speeding bullet. You will be more powerful than a locomotive. You will be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Up, Up, and away