Is it okay?

I saw this interesting post on Instagram the other day.

Let me write it out for you:

Look around you. How many people do you think are settling? Probably a hell of a lot. People settle into okay relationships, okay jobs, okay friends, and an okay life. Why? Because okay is comfortable. Okay pays the bills, and provides a warm bed at night. Some people are fine with okay and guess what? That's okay. But okay is not thrilling, it isn't passion, it's not life-changing or unforgettable. Okay is not the reason you risk absolutely everything you've got for the smallest chance that something absolutely amazing could happen.

That's all.

Do you want to settle for something that is just okay?

Although to get what is not just okay you may have to do what comedian Bill Burr says in this Instagram post. Not the best but it has to be done.

Realise that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you're not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple of kids, and you got a job you hate. You'll be laying there fantasising about sleeping on a futon. There's no risk when you go after a dream. There's a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe. - Bill Burr. 

(日本人の読者へ、これはアメリカではフトンです。)

I suppose today's message is that you don't have to be conventional. Just because society says that you have to do this or you have to do that, it doesn't mean you have to do it.

Stop settling, stop looking for things that are just okay. Go for what you want. What's the worst thing that can happen?

Are you boring?

Are you a boring person?

That's an interesting question, isn't it? What does boring mean?

According to my trusty dictionary on this computer, boring means:

not interesting or tedious

OK. I think the first couple of words are easier enough to understand. Not interesting. You put people to sleep. They just don't want to be around you.

Maybe you are not introverted, you are just boring.

Wow! What a wakeup call that is for some people.

We worry that we don't have anything to say. We worry that the other people around us don't want to hear what we have to say.

Let me tell you one thing. What I have learned from extroverts is that half the time it doesn't matter what you say, it's just how you say it.

I've been involved in some interesting group conversations. Interesting in the sense that the topic that was been discussed was very basic, lets leave it at that. But because the guy who was telling it, was telling it in a very entertaining way, he seemed to have the group in the palm of his hand.

Why would people find you boring?

One reason and one reason only, you talk about yourself too much. (I'm guilty of that, don't get me wrong.)

What other things might make you boring?

1. Having no sense of humour.

2. Being downright negative and always complaining.

3. Saying the same stories over and over and over again. (Warning, as you get older, you do that a lot.)

4. Always checking your phone. (Seriously, no body has texted you in the last five minutes.)

How do you come across as less boring?

Make the other people talk about themselves and keep them going by asking relevant questions. They will love you for it, trust me.

Remember if you are boring and can't help it you might hear the following song and then you know that your time is up.

Happy 4th of July - Part 2

A Daily RBL extra:

At Halloween I did my take on a classic song. You can see that song and post here.

Today I would like to introduce Pitbull and Chris Brown to the Daily RBL's song collection, number 2.

I suggest you play the video while reading the lyrics.

Went from Mr. 4410. Hokowhitu, to Mr. Intorverted, all around the world
Now we're introverted, so introverted, introverted, so introverted

You can't find me, boy (can't find me boy)
I'm overseas and about hundred G's per post (yeah right)
Don't pester me boy (don't pester me boy)
'Cause I crap (on) with the best for sure
4410 'til the death of me
Recreate me body and let the motion have what's left of me
But for now don't regret that,
Swing the kettle (bell)
Baby, you're free.

You put it down like Saitama City
I never go deep
Wild like Shinjuku
My travesty
Hotter than Suginami
I tread the street
Oh, girl, it's introverted love (introverted)
Oh, yeah, it's introverted love

I don't play rugby but I've tried everywhere.
Everywhere? Everywhere!
I don't play basketball but I've slammed dunked everywhere, everywhere
I've been to prefectures and cities I can't announce
And places in this city I didn't know existed

In Jiyugaoka she pulled me to a cafe and told me, "Blair, you can have tea and a twister."
Mochiron the cafes are bomb
And in Asakusa - you guessed it - the dorayakis are sweet
Been all around the world but I ain't gonna lie - there's nothing like Tokyo's streets

You put it down like Saitama City
I never go deep
Wild like Shinjuku
My travesty
Hotter than Suginami
I tread the street
Oh, girl, it's introverted love (introverted)
Oh, yeah, it's introverted love

Down in Shinagawa, they're looking for visas
I ain't talking credit cards if you know what I mean
品川では入国は辛いか。
But the foreigners get in if the officials are not mean

In Ichigaya the SDF are getting everything done, they are some of the most prepared people I've ever seen.

In Kill Bill they filmed at Gonpachi, and that was really mean.

In 新宿、ビールとつまみかな
In 埼玉、浦和レッズが優勝か
赤坂のみなさん、ありがとう
In 杉並、分からない、住んでいたことがないから

You put it down like Saitama City
I never go deep
Wild like Shinjuku
My travesty
Hotter than Suginami
I tread the street
Oh, girl, it's introverted love (introverted)
Oh, yeah, it's introverted love.

There's not a place that I don't have a memory baby
So don't ever rearrange
I'll cross the city when I'm with you baby
Hey, whoa-oh

You put it down like Saitama City
I never go deep
Wild like Shinjuku
My travesty
Hotter than Suginami
I tread the street
Oh, girl, it's introverted love (introverted)
Oh, yeah, it's introverted love.

You put it down like Saitama City
I never go deep
Wild like Shinjuku
My travesty
Hotter than Suginami
I tread the street
Oh, girl, it's introverted love (introverted)
Oh, yeah, it's introverted love.

We're introverted, so introverted,
Introverted, so introverted
We're introverted, so introverted,
Introverted love
Introverted love

Happy 4th of July!!!

It's July 4th and for the people from the United States of America, that means only one thing, Independence Day.

So to my American friends, "Happy 4th of July." (I presume you say that to each other. I don't know.)

A few years ago, a friend of mine said the following:

"You could never live in the United States and succeed there."

At the time I was quite offended by that remark.

"Whaddya mean?" I thought to myself. "I could go anywhere and succeed" I thought.

As I have got more and more into this blog I started to see what he meant by his remark.

The other day I was sitting in the garden of the Imperial Palace here in Tokyo:

It was a quiet afternoon and then suddenly the quietness was disturbed by a loud family and judging by their accents they weren't from Gunma Prefecture.

They were undoubtedly American and the stereotypical "oh my god" was heard a couple of times.

From what I'm seeing and hearing, maybe my friend a few years ago was right. To be successful you have to be in your face, loud and proud and not so introverted.

I read recently that between two thirds and three quarters of the population would be considered on the extroverted side of the spectrum. I don't know how they get that number but it wouldn't surprise me if it was to be true.

To survive you have to be out there and get your face out there too. It kind of makes sense. I heard the same thing about Chinese society.

It's interesting, that for English speaking people Americans are the loud ones and for people in Japan, the hordes of tourist coming to Japan from China are considered by some to be quite noisy, lets say. The thing is though that they are just doing what comes naturally in their own countries.

I'm off to eat some hamburgers, hot dogs and apple pie. Wooo Hooo. I can't wait.

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA



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What business is it of yours?

The New Zealand House of Representatives passed a bill for same-sex marriage on April 17th, 2013.

I believe that it was a great day for New Zealand.

Of course there were people who were fervently against it.

Personally, I don't understand their objection to it all. Seriously, how does two men or two women getting married affect their lives?

Here's the answer and I will let my fourth form social studies' teacher tell you:

"Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, not a sausage, bugger all."

Zilch, nothing, not at all.

On that day, Maurice Williamson, the Pakuranga MP for the right leaning ruling party, the National Party gave a speech in Parliament which grabbed the world's headlines and showed that even if you are conservative in your politics, when it comes to love and marriage then politics shouldn't really come into it. I have watched the video on a number of occasions and it is quite entertaining and makes a lot of sense.

Here, you decide for yourself:

What did you think?

I like the line:

"All we are doing with this bill, is allowing two people who love each other to have that love recognised by way of marriage."

"What is the point of this?" I hear you ask.

Well, what business of it is yours what people do in the privacy of their bedrooms?

Seriously, what business is it of yours that two people of the same gender are in the bedroom together. It happens in the animal kingdom, in fact I've heard that it is a very natural thing. There is a certain percentage in each species that like the same sex. Why can't human beings be any different?

My next question, why is it your business to know why your "quiet" friend doesn't want to go out with you on Saturday night?

Why does he or she have to lie to you just so they can get you off their back?

They are not being anti-social, they are just being true to themselves and the sooner you realise that, the better. The better for them and the better for you.

You don't have to guilt them into joining you for a few bottles of fermented grain just because the idea of being alone on a Saturday night is about as appealing as root canal surgery.

Also remember, that doing nothing is not an invitation for you to hound them to go out, for them it is doing something. They are recharging.

What other people do is none of your business? Don't make it into a big thing. You will drive people away, when you really want to be attracting them to you. If you give them space to do their thing, or recharge or whatever then they will give you the gift of their time and it is a gift. Cherish it.


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Rules for dealing with introverts

Here are a list of things to remember when dealing with someone who is a little bit introverted:

1. Remember they are not shy. Repeat after me, introverts are not shy. Say it ten times. Remember, shyness if the fear social judgement and inversion is how you recharge your energy. BIG DIFFERENCE.

2. Introverts are not stuck-up. How dare you even think that? They do not think they are superior to you. Remember not everyone gets their rocks off by running around the dance floor on Friday and Saturday nights.

3. Introverts are not antisocial. They are listening to you. They are observing you. Introverts can't stand small talk. It doesn't excite them. It doesn't energise them as it does you. They can't get as enthused about Kim Kardashian as you can. What they will get enthused about are some solid topics. Maybe current events, maybe some kind of self-development. Maybe they want to talk about an interesting article they read recently.

4. An introvert would rather be at home with a close friend than 100 of their "closest" friends. The idea of air kissing and blowing smoke up your arse does not excite an introvert. It is fake after all, and introverts are the most real people that you will meet. Try it. Have a real conversation with someone who isn't a "party animal." You might be surprised how enjoyable the whole experience is.

5. Don't scold or embarrass a n introvert in public. You will lose a friend. It's as simple as that.

6. If an introvert opens themselves up to you, respect the fact that they like you, they respect you and most of all they trust you. They trust you so much that they want to share some of their deepest darkest secrets with you. Feel honoured that they want to do that.


Introverts are always around you. You might not hear them but you will miss them if they are gone. Don't let that happen.

Have fun dealing with an introvert however remember the above rules.

WWJBD? or What would Dwayne Johnson do?

There is an abbreviation doing the rounds, "WWJBD?" (What would James Bond do? or if you like What would Jason Bourne do? or I've also seen What would Jack Bauer do?)

I'm sorry, there is only one JB and that is 007.

Awesome!!!!

James Bond is a fictional character and although we can learn some things from him it is probably advisable to learn from a real life character and they don't come more real life than 'The Rock' Dwayne Johnson. Regular readers of this blog will probably realise that I have talked about him quite a bit and guess what? I'm going to talk about him today too.

I was reading this article and there are some interesting ideas in it.

So, what can we learn from Dwayne Johnson (The Rock)?:

According to the article there are seven things:

1. Be Yourself

There are a lot of people out there who try and be someone that they are not. They think they have to pretend to be someone so that they fit into the society that they think is a fit to them. This is just a waste of time and energy and in the end you are not being authentic and most people are going to see right through you in about three seconds.

However in saying this I do believe that occasionally you are going to have to "come out of your shell." I can teach you how.


2. Consistency

Consistency is absolutely crucial. This is something that many people out there struggle with. The author of this post is case in point. I haven't been very consistent with things. This blog has helped me with consistency.

Finding time every single day, even on Saturdays and Sundays has given me some focus. Also freeing time in my day to go to the gym has been good to me. I'm consistently going 3 to 6 times a week.

If you consistently put in the work, before long, you will start to see the results. It's simple to say and it is simple I admit. The execution is the difficult part.


3. Effort

You have to put in the hard work. It's all very well going to the gym 3 to 6 times a week but if you are not putting in the effort it is a waste of time.

I used to go to a gym which had a really cool bath complex. It was nice to just have a long hot soak in the jacuzzi. It felt nice but I always felt a bit guilty.

Today's workout, I really went balls to the wall, so much so that I was literally slipping on my sweat doing the burpees. (For people who don't know what a burpee is, let me just say that they are hell. I hate them and I hate them with a passion.)

4. Developing the right habits

This is a difficult one because we want to maximise the good habits but try to minimise the bad habits. You have to create your day so that you are doing good things not harmful things and then you have to put in the effort and be consistent.


5. Self-Discpline

Well known self-help author Brian Tracy says the following: "Practice self-discipline in all things."

This is all about making the right choices. It is about having the salad instead of having the chocolate.  (FYI, I always go for the chocolate. Especially Cadbury.) It is about working on a Friday night or Sunday morning.

If you can consistently make the right choices, then you are going to be well on the way to, as a friend of mine would say, "kickin' ass."


6. Create your own motivation

Why are you doing what you are doing?

I'll tell you why I'm doing what I'm doing and it might sound overly dramatic but I want to change the world. There you go, I've said it. I don't think I can replicate the success of the two Steve's, Jobs and Wozniak but let see what I can do.

That is what is driving me. That's my motivation.

What is your motivation?


7. Vision

What is your vision?

I am trying to create the habit of visualisation where I visualise what I want to happen and in the last few months a couple of things that I have visualised have actually come to fruition. I spent a lot of time thinking and visualising in my mind what I wanted to happen and bang, it happened.

Try it. If you really believe it, you may be surprised at the results.


There you have it. WWDJD? What would Dwayne Johnson do? Follow his lead and I'm am sure that both, you and I can go a log way.


The following are some of my other posts with The Rock:

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2016/11/finally-rock-has-come-back-to.html

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2016/11/more-secrets-from-rock.html

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2017/04/how-to-fake-confidence.html

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2017/06/what-i-learned-from-couple-of-models.html

https://dailyrbl.blogspot.jp/2016/06/float-like-butterfly-talk-like.html


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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0qVUOgTy0-2xC8y8EzAlLg

Japanese language blog: http://gaijinambivert.blog.fc2.com (Admittedly I haven't updated it for a long time but it is a similar theme to this blog.)