No regrets. Have absolutely no regrets.

Here is an interesting article about the biggest regrets of dying people.

It is interesting, isn't it that even though we all know that at some stage in life we are going to die, it is something that we don't like to think about and to some people it is even something that they think doesn't happen to them only to other people. That sounds stupid doesn't it but it does happen.

As it says in the article, knowing that one day that you will be dead can be incredibly motivating and it helps you get stuck into things that you may have put off until another day or even worse, not do it at all.

Lets have a look:

1. I wish I lived life on my terms and not did what society expected.

If you are a regular reader here you will know that I am a big believer in not doing what society expects. Most of us seem to get caught up in doing things that society expects and not doing what we want to do. Earlier this year I celebrated my birthday be walking around the Yamanote Line in Tokyo.

For those of you who don't know what the Yamanote Line is, it is the train line that runs around the centre of Tokyo. It is about 40 kilometres around. I always wanted to do it and so I did. Of course some people have laughed at me but that is because society expects you to have a party or something like that, not walk by yourself for 8 hours.

The secret here is to do what you want and not worry about what other people are thinking or what other people might say. All they are doing is pushing their reality on you because they can't even comprehend what you are doing.


2. I shouldn't have worked so hard all of the time.

This is an interesting one especially since I live in one of the workaholic capitals of the world. (Although I think that there is a difference between WORKING 18 hours a day and SPENDING 18 hours at work. There is a huge difference. Think about it.)

I talk to a lot of Japanese men about this. This is how I see it:

The Japanese father seems to get a lot of grief from his family. Probably because he is hardly ever there at home as he is at work either putting in (unpaid) overtime or he is out with his colleagues imbibing in a few ales and other things.

I wonder though if families are happy that their father isn't at home because he is bringing home the bacon or they resent the fact that he isn't there. Sometimes I think the father is thinking that because he is hard at work bringing home that bacon then his family is happy but I believe that they want him at home and actually resent the fact that he is giving 99.9% of his energy to his company. As children and wives get older they get used to not seeing their father so that when he is around he gets grief.

I'm sure when he is on his death bed he is not thinking about those long nights at work or his colleagues but his family who he hardly knows. It's sad. Regret, I'm sure that all it will be.


3. I wish I had said what I was really thinking more often. 

This is an interesting one for me because I try to avoid conflict like I say most people do but sometimes you just have to say it because some idiot might be annoying the heck out of you or saying something that you can't let go but you will because you don't want to have an argument or have someone think that you are an asshole but at the end of the day are they going to be in your life much after that encounter. Probably not.


4. I wish I chose to be happier. 

As it says in the article, it is a choice to be happy. If something happens to you, you can choose to be happy about it or annoyed about it. You choose.

The other day, I was at a convenience store using the copy machine. One guy who was obviously in a hurry literally pushed me out of the way to get to the ticket machine which was in the corner. For a few seconds I was fuming. I was like a smouldering volcano that was ready to explode at any second. Fortunately I remembered something that I saw on Instagram.

"You have $86,400 in your bank account and someone stole $10 from you, would you be upset and throw all of the $86,390 away in hopes of getting back at the person that took your $10? Or move on and live? Right, move on and live. See, we have 86,400 seconds in very day so don't let someone's negative 10 seconds ruin the rest of the 86,390. Don't sweat the small stuff, life is bigger than that." 

Yep! It is just someone having a bad day so don't let them ruin it for you. Choose to be happy.


While I was writing this post I thought of that famous Latin quote and for my generation anyway, made famous in the movie Dead Poet's Society. Carpe Diem. Seize the Day.

Seize everyday and there will be no regrets on your death bed, there will be only be happy memories.

Overcoming the mental challenges

This is a photo with my Crossfit coach and I from about 18 months ago.

I had just completed for the first and only time, the Crossfit hero workout called Murph.

Murph is named after Navy Lieutenant Michael Murphy who was killed in action in Afghanistan in 2005.

Michael Murphy is also portrayed in a 2013 movie called 'Lone Survivor.'

Crossfit honour Michael Murphy by doing a workout that he liked to do. It is this:

1 mile run
100 pull ups
200 push ups
300 air squats
1 mile run

Long story short, it took me just over 66 minutes to do that lot.

Those that know me will know that I can't do a pull up to save myself so I replaced those with ring rows. I'm not that great at push ups either but managed to get through all 200 of those. The air squats were marginally easier.

When I finished, one of the other members of the 'box' that I attend mentioned that you never feel so good about a 1 mile run as you do at the end of that lot and he was right. It was the best 1 mile I had ever run. Unfortunately I wasn't running at Roger Bannister pace but I managed to complete it which was very satisfying.

As you can see by the amount of work involved in that lot it is a mental challenge as much as it is a physical challenge. Before I started Crossfit I could barely do one push-up so doing 200 in one "sitting" was a great achievement for me. (Although I did pay for it a couple of months later)

How did I manage to overcome this challenge?

1. I kept on telling myself that it was only going to be one hour of my life so it's not going to be purgatory even though it might feel like it, especially when you get to 30 push-ups and you still have 170 to go.

2. I also reminded myself that I was doing it for my health and fitness which is quite important, right?

3. What also kept me going was the thought that once I had completed it, no one could take that away from me. It is like someone running a marathon. They can't take that away from you once you have accomplished it. You just keep going.

4. Finally, I had a couple of Winston Churchill's quotes in my head:

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

And my personal favourite

"Never, never, never give up."

Remember, you might be hurting and you don't want to run anymore but in all likelihood it is your brain telling you that you have had enough. Sometimes you shouldn't listen to your brain because it is trying to protect you, so it is trying to get you to give up. Sometimes you just can't do that. You have to keep going and that is where the big prize comes.

If you don't make mistakes you don't make anything

Mistakes!

We have all made some in our lives, right? If you haven't made mistakes in your life, you must be superhuman and you should be tested for something. I don't know what.

Mistakes are a part of our lives whether we like it or not. Don't go trying to avoid mistakes however because some good things can come from it if we let it.

What can mistakes tell us?

1. Mistakes make us more intelligent

Yes, we make a mistake and we keep on making the same mistake we are not learning anything and we are going to continually be frustrated. But, if you learn from it you will come out a better person and a stronger person.


2. They help us learn faster

If you are doing something new and you are trying doubly hard not to make a mistake, you will drive yourself crazy and in the throes of not trying to make those mistakes that is what you are focusing on, not trying to learn something new and when you screw up you don't learn anything. So make mistakes and you will learn quicker. The idea is to throw yourself into the whole thing and learn as you go.


3. They boost your memory

When you make mistakes they tend to stick in your mind so that when you are concentrate on something else you will use your mistakes as a boost to remember the right answer sometime in the future.


4. You can always give it another shot

Making a mistake is not the end of the world. You are not going to end up in hell for making a mistake although you might if you keep on making those same mistakes. Remember and this is the cardinal rule, you make a mistake, it might be embarrassing. Dust yourself off. Learn the main lesson and go onto the next challenge and if you make the same mistake, learn from it.


5. Mistakes are a real motivational tool

You've made a mistake. That can really fire yourself up to not make the same mistake ever again. I made a huge mistake earlier this year that I still think about it is fuels me to firstly not make the same mistake and to learn from it and really make an improvement in my life. This mistake has helped me look at my life in a different way and who knows maybe I will be able to turn this mistake around in the near future.


6. Mistakes help you work out who you really are

What has happened in your life until now? You may have been in a job that you didn't like. You may have been in a relationship that wasn't right for you. You have even played a sport that you didn't really like just to appease friends or family. These may have been mistakes but they have made you who you are. They have got you to this stage and because you have made these mistakes in your life you can go onto bigger and better things.


Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and make mistakes. There is nothing wrong with it. You will grow as a person and you will learn a lot.

The End of Year Party

　　　　　　
忘年会
It's December 1st and we have only one more month left in the year. Hasn't it gone fast?

What do we have in December? There seems to be a lot of them. I'm talking about year end parties and for some of you, Christmas parties.

Here in Japan they are called 忘年会 or literally, "forget the year party." 

These parties are held at the company level and also amongst groups of friends. Some companies may have a party for the entire company and also teams and divisions and sections might have a party.

Amongst friends is common as well. Some of the parties I have heard of are really unusual and you would wonder why this particular group would need to meet up but they all seem to do it and love it.

These end of year parties are the most anticipated of the year and the planning seems to start months in advance. Well, you have to try to start planning in advance because as you can imagine in a place like Tokyo in December, a great deal of the places would be booked out and if you start planning in December, you might be out of luck on a venue.

Good old introverted me, who works by himself and doesn't have many groups I belong to doesn't have many end of year parties to go to. Other people seem to have one every night in the month of December.

"I have my work party tomorrow and my section party the next day and then my university friends are meeting next week and my gym is having a party the following week and my kindergarten friends are meeting and the people I drink with at my local pub are having party that week as well."

"You are having that party at the pub?'

"No, we are going to another area of town to a famous restaurant."

This kind of conversation is not unusual as some people are attached to may groups.

This time of the year can be tiring for introverts. When you are out every night and you have to socialise with people that you might not have much time for this can be hard work.

My advice to introverts is to pick and choose which ones you want to go to. You don't have to go to them all. Don't feel obliged. Think about your mental health as well as the affect of drinking all of that alcohol.

Have a great December and enjoy the end of the year but remember that you have to listen to your gut occasionally. Don't drain yourself out for the new year.

Is Freelancing the answer?

Have you chosen you job because of the people that you work with or the people that you don't work with?

I was talking to someone the other day. She works as a freelance graphic designer. She isn't the most outgoing person in the world but she is a nice woman.

It got me thinking about your career choices.

Just because society says you have to get up at 6am, fight traffic or stand on a crowded train for two hours and then slog your guts out for 8 to 12 hours for someone who doesn't appreciate half your work, it doesn't mean that you have to follow it.

If you feel more comfortable working by yourself or working at different hours to everyone else then you should strive to build a life that works for you not necessarily anyone else.

Of course you may do better work, working by yourself.

If you are able to work by yourself then freelancing and working from home maybe the answer to for you.

Just because society says one thing doesn't mean you have to follow it's advice. Follow your heart and follow your gut and you might stumble upon your dream job.

Socialising: The Introvert Way

I saw this on Instagram the other day. It sums up introversion perfectly.

For those of you who didn't click on the link, it is from the_introverted_chick account and it says:

"Many people believe that introversion is about being antisocial, and that's really a misconception. Because actually, it's just that introverts are differently social. So they would prefer to have a glass of wine with a close friend as opposed to going to a loud party full of strangers."

This is introversion to a tee.

On Saturday there was a party at my place. I wasn't organising it but I was invited which was very nice. I chose to go out with a friend instead. I just wasn't comfortable being in a room full of strangers on that particular night. It doesn't mean I'm always like that but that particular night I just wanted to have a couple of drinks with my friend. I'm sure that the extroverts out there can not understand that at all.

I believe you have to understand how other people click. The quicker you learn this information the easier that you will understand that person and the better relationship you will have with that particular person. You will know when to talk and when to hold back. You will know when to give unsolicited advice and when to shut up.

To introverted people, it is ok to forgo that party and to go and have a couple of beers with your friend. You are doing what comes naturally to you and you shouldn't feel antisocial at all.

To extroverted people, not everyone is like you. Not everyone is going to want to party to sunup. Just because you like to do that doesn't mean everyone does and when your introverted friend decides that he or she wants to go home, let them. Do not make them feel bad about wanting to reenergise back home because that is what they are doing. I'm sorry to say, your party isn't doing it for them.

Introverts are not antisocial they just socialise differently. The sooner that everyone, and I mean everyone realises that the better society we will live in.

Sometimes the most difficult problems have the simplest solutions

It's really interesting. The last few days I haven't been feeling my usual self. I haven't been sick or anything like that. I have just been feeling very lethargic. Then I realised what the problem is and it is very simple, I haven't been drinking enough water.

Isn't it amazing that sometimes what seems like a very serious problem is in fact a problem that has a very simple solution and that is, drink more water.

I wonder out there, what other problems in our society could have a very simple solution like drink more water.

I'm sure that there are many problems with a simple solution but because it is too simple we disregard it.

Have you ever had that experience?